#I'll have to get mum to show me how to do the resin stuff for that though hm | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

lostintime-liketearsinrain · 2 months

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Just when things feel like they are getting back on track, having sorted a new car out, focused my headspace and focusing on some goals for 2024. All that to come burning down when I get a phone call tonight from my mum to let me know my grandad is acusing me (and my mum) of stealing from him…..fuck my life….

When my grandad fell ill and went into hospital in November 2022, we (my mum, grandad and me) agreed to take his banking off his IPad for security reasons being on an openward in hospital etc. I set it up on my iPad and was happy to show him or do anything he needed when visiting. Once he got discharged we continued to keep it off as he was in a care home and his IPad would be left unattended a lot. This has gone on and on until recently (against my mums, mine and the current carehome managers wishes for security reasons) we’ve put it back on his IPad.

Now keeping in mind, all this time I've shown him his banking regularly or anytime he's asked. I've got nothing to hide. Over the last 16 months, as he can't walk he's asked myself and my mum to buy him things, be it decorations for his room, food stuff, clothing etc. You get the drift. With that he's told me to use his card to pay for those things. Fair enough and sometimes I have and other times I haven't. Also at times he's offered to help me out financially, offering to pay for car repairs, my BT Sport so he could watch his boyhood club play in the Champions League, my resin printer and most recently 1 week costs for my hire car. Everytime he's offered I've protested as I don't want money off him, I do what I do because I care for him and not financial gain. It gets to the point where if I say no he says he’ll give his card and pin to a career and get them to get cash out to give to me. Which is ridiculous to trust someone to do that but that's another rant.

Anyway, apparently all those times and discussions have been wiped from his memory as today when my mum visited he's ranted and raved as to why I've taken X amount here there and so on. For instance the resin printer, I protested for weeks that I'll buy it myself I just need to save, to the point where me, my mum and step dad were visiting and while showing his banking app to him, he transferred the money for it to my account. According to him today tho that never happened, he never agreed to it and remembers no conversation of the sort. Keeping in mind my mum and stepdad where there at the time and we all remember the conversation. That's just one of many transactions he's quoted to my mum today, who is and has always been aware of if or when I've transferred money from his account.

I always thought this moment would come someday and therefore I was careful, making sure any transfer I did I put what it was for as the payment reference. I know I've stole nothing, any amounts taken we discussed and confirmed but as he's getting older his memory is failing him. He thinks he's still mentally sharp but when you don't remember a conversation that 3 other people do, well you're not as sharp as you think.

I called my grandad on the way home and raised what my mum told me and he said I was wrong and he hasn't accused me but he has a habit of this, saying one thing to me and another to my mum. I raised my voice, got angry, upset and even swore because it's upsetting. After everything we’ve done over the last 16 months and this is how he acts towards us. It's sad really.

I don't expect anyone to read all this but I had to put it somewhere. I'm at a loss for words and what to do now but all I know is my grandad isn't the same grandad I loved before and it breaks my heart.

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