#I very quickly looked away from him because mere se nhi Dekha ja rha tha I'm very sensitive to these things

[mera-mann-kehne-laga]

I had a nightmare. Didn't remember having it when I woke up. But one or two hours later, while doing something random, the most depressing part of it suddenly flashed in my head. And everything about it came flooding in my mind with tears. i still haven't recovered.

#It was my late maamu #he died in a bike accident 8 years ago. #In my dream I was at my naani's Ghar #Suddenly I started hearing loud noises like crying and many many people talking ek sath hi #I rushed outside and follow the voices #They led me through a narrow gali mere hometown me hi #I have fond memories attached with it #And in my mind I knew ki maama Ka accident ho Gaya hai and I'm going to see him #I reached the place #He was lying there dead #His head was resting on naani's lap #And she was crying and apna maatha aur chaati peet rhi thi vo #I stifled a scream with my hand on my mouth #And aansoo aa gaye #I very quickly looked away from him because mere se nhi Dekha ja rha tha I'm very sensitive to these things #This is all I remember #The thing is that when he actually died irl #WE DIDN'T GET TO SEE HIM FOR ONE LAST TIME #we were in Delhi uss time pe #Toh until we got to our hometown antim sanskaar ho chuka tha #All I've seen is his photos accident ki #Him lying lifeless on the road #His eyes wide open #Hands and legs spread at weird angles #Those photos were saved in mumma's phone back then #So almost Roz hi I stumbled upon them #And cried #Toh now seeing this nightmare #Seeing him after so many years but again in the same condition #This is too much