#I HAVE LIKE 3 OTHER FULL BOTTLES. TAUNTING ME. BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE THEM CUZ I'D FEEL BAD ALSO ONE OF THEM COST ME

[aph-estonia]

can't believe i'm speedrunning alcoholism

#i haven't even been 'legal' for a full year and i've already gone straight from getting drunk off 1 mikes hard to #having 4-5 chugs of 50% vodka and blacking out #to having it become such a huge part of my routine that i feel like fucking shit sober & i hype myself for 'drinking days' #i need like 3 chugs of 50% vodka straight to feel any sort of buzz rn btw. :) #anyways. to having it become such a huge problem that i do so much horrible shit and wake up not remembering any of it #to me wanting to slow down so bad but now i'm so fucking dependant on it like ............... #too scared 2 quit quit i want 2 drink at parties still like i smoke at parties but i'm not a smoker u knooooo #wanna do that............. #but yeah...... i've been speedrunning alcoholism any% lately #.txt #IT'S KINDA HARD TO SLOW MY ROLL WHEN I KEEP GETTING GIFTED ALCOHOL FROM MY FAMILY BTW. #EVERY TIME I GO OVER THEY'RE LIKE HEY DO YOU WANT THIS AND I DON'T WANT THEM TO KNOW I HAVE ISSUES SO I ACCEPT IT EVERY TIME #I HAVE SO MANY HUGE ASS BOTTLES #GOT SO BAD GOT SO DEPRESSED FROM MY LATEST BENDER I LITERALLY FLUSHED ONE DOWN THE TOILET BUT #I HAVE LIKE 3 OTHER FULL BOTTLES. TAUNTING ME. BUT I DON'T WANT TO WASTE THEM CUZ I'D FEEL BAD ALSO ONE OF THEM COST ME #$35 I HAVE TO USE IT WISELY #OTHERWISE I WASTED MY VERY VERY LIMITED RESOURCES (MONEY)