#EXCEPT FUNNILY ENOUGH MY FRIEND WHO LEFT WHO'S BEEN THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T BRUSH ME OFF

[nouveauxromantics]

last weekend was the most fun i’ve had in so long i wish my friend was always here i love her so much why does she have to be 4 hours away 😭

#i just feel so happy and content when i go out with her #and it just really emphasized how awful going out with [redacted] makes me feel but i don't have anyone else to go out with usually #idkkkk sometimes i think im overreacting about [redacted] but they i used to love being around her so much and now it just makes me awful #and hate myself #like its frustrating bc everyone thinks i hate going out but in reality going out with [redacted] is so tiring and i never feel like i #can have fun #i love going out but i just want to be able to go out with people who actually seem like they want to spend time with me #okay i am just sad and venting none of this makes sense #but i just #what did i do to lose your love and how long am i gonna blame myself for losing it and kill myself trying to get it back #i hate feeling guilty and like a burden for wanting and needing to be cared for #i am so sad and i can't talk about it with anyone bc no one ive tried to talk about it with gets it #EXCEPT FUNNILY ENOUGH MY FRIEND WHO LEFT WHO'S BEEN THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T BRUSH ME OFF #and well fuck now i'm crying about it like i do every week atp #vent