#Dwight Caulker

[amisssunbeam]

When (and Why) Hickey Fell in Love with Gibson

Well, it all started when “Hickey” was a child named EC, possibly Edgar or Edward, probably Edward, and the last name was something common, Clark or Carter or Cooke perhaps, as they are amongst the most familiar surnames in Great Britain today.  (I myself like Cooke as his last name.  See below.)

BTW, there was a time when I was in love with Herman Melville and tried to be very good so I could go to Heaven and escort Herman to all the constant Elvis concerts being held in the serene ethereal.  (This was about the same time I mentioned “Elvis Presley” to my husband who thought I said “Melville’s Presley”, which in turn started that heavenly dream I still live in. Elvis IS Billy Budd.)  Oh, what is my point?  Melville was born in 1819, and so I have decided EC was born in 1820, making him the perfect age to set sail on “Terror” in 1845 (and helps me dope out a time-line for EC’s life).

Was EC abandoned by his mother to a foundling’s home?  I’ve no doubt; I think he lived with her long enough to bond (she a hoe; father unknown), and then she left without a word when he was three and a half years old.   And did the drunk old men and women who ran the home try to give EC any solace?  Of course not.  Plus, meals were served on a very erratic basis, which is why Edward and his analogue David Young never got very big.  But EC thought of his mother often, sometimes with an enormous anger which caused him to befoul his bedding, sometimes with a longing that causes him to dissociate completely.

Now the drunk old men and women who run the home would prefer that little Eddy not be so needy, but they have a solution.  They know a rich man called (let’s say) Captain Autolycus Wilson, who likes very young boys. (Such a cliché.)  The drunk old etcs. ask Captain Wilson if he would like to purchase, uh, sponsor very small Eddy with his big blue eyes and reddish blond hair for a handsome fee. Captain Wilson is without a ward at the time, so he agrees to take care of Eddy, whom he calls Cookie.    The expected things proceed.  Except: Wilson is fond of Cookie, finding him clever and amusing and witty, and Cookie becomes very fond of Captain Wilson, fond to the point of adoration.  The Captain sees to his education with private tutors (the less said about what went on with the tutoring the better: too depressing for words).  But, despite the buggery and sodomy and orgies (many of which take place at the Captain’s private men’s club, The Sons of Phorcys, before interested audiences), Cookie becomes well educated, and something of a dandy too.  These are the gifts Captain Wilson gives him in exchange for his complete oppression and dehumanization.

Okay, we knew it was coming. Cookie begins to show signs of manliness, which means he no longer interests Captain Wheeler.  Captain Wheeler goes back to the foundling’s home and “adopts” a likely little carrot top who is nameless to us.  But, before he kicks Cookie out, Captain Wilson offers him a drink from one of his cut glass, uh, glasses.  Cookie goes completely catatonic.  

Afterwards, with a five-dollar gold piece and the clothes on his back, Cookie finds himself on the streets of Victorian London.

It gets worse and then it gets more worse.  He is Cookie no more.

So he runs with the dog pack.  He steals cheap jewelry and silverware. Steals nice clothes too, so he is always well turned out.  (Speaking of dogs, EC doesn’t like dogs.  Too many high-tone toffs, too many coppers have sicced huge slavering four-legged beasts on him.  Dogs, dogs are shit eaters.)

However, one useful trick he learns from the dog pack is to hang around taverns, especially those catering to sailors who have returned to shore.   He likes to chat with the sailors and hear their magical tales of life on the vast blue sea as he picks their pockets. These stories are why E.C. decides to dab Cornelius Hickey and put him in Regent’s Canal.  

“You’ll be gone how long, Cornelius?”

“At least a year!  And then I’ll be in Hawaii.  Oahu.”  His Irish accent is quite pronounced.

“Aren’t they cannibals who live there?”

“I think they prefer fish.” Both giggle.

“In other words, they’re Catholics!” EC says.

More giggles.   “See, here are my sailing papers!”

“Look, you already got paid!”

“Yes, a handsome sum. Speaking of which, let’s have another drink.”

“Just a small ale for me.”  EC takes a deep breath. “I bet your mam was glad to see your pay!”

“Me, I keep my money. I was a foundling, see.”  

“I lived in an orphan’s home too.”  (EC thinks to himself: I will always live in an orphan’s home.) “So when do you sail?”

 Then there’s a small slice of time and the ex-Cornelius Hickey lies bleeding at the bottom of Regents Canal.

(There’s a great fic which gives more details about this event on A3O: “Skinned Snakes” by @willowbilly)

 There’s not much variety on a ship; sailing and caulking is boring.  So no one should be surprised that the new Cornelius Hickey grouses.  

But one day, he shares a joke with Billy Gibson, and Billy laughs and says, “Now, that one’s worthy of Shakespeare.”

Hickey is pleased and intends to make Billy laugh again.

What was the joke? What is the joke in any office setting? Most office jokes are about those other people in The Office, who get to be more and more “other” as the jokes continue (think of Jim and Pam against Dwight), until Hickey and Billy have their own little two-man Eleusinian mystery cult going on.

They sit together at what serves as the library table and look at picture books together.  Perhaps it’s a book of engraved Biblical illustrations. Hickey points at one and whispers, “Look, Billy, there’s Lieutenant Irving walkin’ on water in his nightshirt!”

Billy gets a bad case of the giggles.  

Weekes is sitting nearby and hears them.  “What’s this, laughin’ at the Holy Scriptures?  Do you want the ship to sink?”  (Weekes is like the Dansker in “Billy Budd”, a quiet type who utters oracular remarks and tries to keep the superstitious young sailors under control.)

Hickey and Billy like to look at maps too, especially maps of the Pacific.  They move to a more secluded place to share their secret dreams. They decide they’ll jump ship in Oahu and live in the sun and sand forever.  

“Bugger the officers, Billy!” Hickey whispers.  “‘Orlop!’ I’ll feckin orlop ye, Irving!”

Hickey’s minor blasphemies appeal to Gibson, who must also feel underappreciated.  

(By the way, Melville was discharged in Maui in 1843 where he worked as, among other things, a pin-setter in a bowling alley before he returned to New York in 1844.)

But more than jokes happen. Billy sews a nice shirt for Hickey and knits him a warm red scarf.  “Look here,” Billy says to the other sailors sitting around.  “Now doesn’t Cornelius look smart!”  They all applaud, somewhat sarcastically, but Hickey is pleased.  

It appears that Hickey can sit in Billy’s little cabinette, I won’t say anytime he wants, but he CAN sit there.  Which is where the friendship goes to the next level.  Again, there isn’t a lot to do on an exploration.  I like to think of Hickey and Billy sitting right beside each other, CURTAIN OPEN, Hickey making his small jokes, perhaps about Mr. Diggle’s bad bread, and then he puts his hand on Billy’s knee.  When they hear someone coming, Hickey rapidly removes his hand.  With this negative evidence, Billy learns what Hickey meant by touching his knee.

The first kiss:  this is as tricky in fan fic as it is in real life. How do you know when to take that first step?  My experience has been that it is “The Man” who kisses first. (Don’t get mad!  Last century, when I was getting kissed, that rule of courtship was ratified in iron.)  

We can imagine that Hickey finds the simple warmth coming from Billy’s frame . . . nice.  Better still, he has no obligation to be (or do) anything to Billy.  He is free with Billy.  One night in May 1847 on Billy’s little cot, the bedtime bells ring (I don’t really know ships work), and Hickey says, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Billy,” and, because it’s been building inside him for several months, he leans over to the seated Billy and kisses his cheek.  Billy looks up in pleased surprise (giving Hickey the same look he gave him when Hickey put Young’s ring on his finger).  

I will now commence to use @starbuck’s excellent timeline to date the next steps of their relationship. “Go for Broke” is September 1846. Eight months later (plenty of time for a courtship) is “The Ladder” which I like to think of as the SEX-isode; by this time Billy and Hickey have become very experienced in their buggery.

So just let me make up some stuff.   In that sexy sexy month October 1846, they get to first base (they make out until their lips are chapped.)  Second base occurs in early November 1846 (running their hands over each other’s quivering but clothed skin).  Late November 1846 brings a firm third base (petting to orgasm: yup, that was a phrase much in use when Mamie Eisenhower and I were college roommates).  And on Christmas Day 1846, HOME RUN is achieved in costumes and crannies as drunken sailors overwhelm the air.  Hickey and Billy are in love!  They run up and down the deck with the snow falling on their pink boyish cheeks. Young, beautiful, in love, just the two in their icy mystery cult.

Uhoh, here comes June 1847 and “The Ladder”.   Now you know goddam well Irving isn’t going down to the orlop deck just to “find” the “caulker’s mate”.  He’s been smoldering over his suspicions for months (he and Hickey exchange stink-eyes all the time at Sunday services).  Finally, Irving gets a double-header: he achieves a major vicarious thrill AND a chance to save souls at the same time!!!!  Still, Hickey and Gibson are busted.

Stuff happens, Silna and Sir John and Tuunbaq, all that arga warga.   Not to mention, Gibson’s nervous conversation with Irving.  Which Hickey sees.  (Notice how I rigged the timeline to make sure Hickey got to see Gibson’s postern “all winter”, i.e. the winter of ’46-’47.)

Hickey is angry, but he never learned how to express anger towards someone he loves.  First he reverts to an infantile state; then it seems he finds a new love: The Captain.

The Captain offers him a drink.  A drink! Who would do that but a devious seducer! Hickey scours his brain.  What do you say to an Irishman?  “Here’s to us Micks!”  OH GOD OH GOD HOW COULD HE BE SO STUPID!  THAT HAS TO BE THE STUPIDEST THING ANYONE HAS EVER SAID TO ANYBODY!!!!! OH GOD! But Crozier’s face doesn’t freeze, doesn’t close down; it’s still open and pink.  EC will remember that.

Now, because I pledge allegiance to @rhavewellyarnbag and all that he stands for, I will also assert that Francis is a three-beer queer.  And if it weren’t for that Bible-beating bastard Irving barging in on them, who knows what would have happened next?

Hickey keeps trying to shine up to the Captain; he brings him a trophy, the guilty Eski girl.  But then there is that unfair cross-examination by Crozier and his big shiny toff buddy.  I have to say, I feel for Hickey in this scene.  He really thought he was being useful to Crozier, and Crozier is completely dismissive. How often have I misunderstood what other people wanted from me! They quarrel, Hickey loses his cool and ends up getting flogged.  Oh, sure, there’s worst things than bein’ lashed, but still . . .

Then there’s the tobacco. Just as you and I would, Hickey uses Occam’s useful razor and sees the tobacco as a love gift from . . . Billy. Billy! Billy the steward with access to supplies!  Billy must still love him!  

Sound the music cues, for here comes the bride!  In the next episode “First Shot a Winner”, Hickey marries Billy.  The reasons for this marriage are numerous (hey!  Just like real life!), but one reason is Billy’s ability to spy on those in command.  

Now, I won’t pretend that Hickey thinks this, but I DO!  Hickey will never never never forgive Crozier and determines to destroy him.  Then he HE Hickey will become King of the Expedition, just like Crozier is now, and Hickey will even have his own super-tall willowy delicate queen at his side.

It doesn’t work out that way, as we know, because nothing ever works out.  Still, Hickey loves Billy to the end, taking Billy’s head in his hands to say good-bye as lovers do.  The stabbing is a favor to the suffering man, and, if the murder turns out to have its useful aspects, well, so be it.  

That’s my story, and, being a Libra, I can be easily persuaded that I’m wrong about everything.

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dedicated to @rhavewellyarnbag, @blazingadam, and @wildcard47

[torentialtribute]

The transfer window shuts at 5pm on Thursday… so who is your club in for?

The transfer window closes on Thursday but there is still time for clubs to do some last-minute matters.

It is the second season since the Premier League clubs have reached an agreement on the closure on the eve of the opening of the season.

Sportsmail looks at the moves teams were able to make before the clock strikes 17:00.

Arsenal hopes to strengthen his defense with a deadline signing of David Luiz

Arsenal

What they need: The middle back. David Luiz from Chelsea is the main target after interviews for Dayot Upamecano from Red Bull Leipzig and Daniele Rugani from Juventus. But on Wednesday evening they agreed to go with Celtic for left back Kieran Tierney.

Who Could Go: Everton & # 39; s £ 30 million bid for Alex Iwobi was rejected. Striker Eddie Nketiah is on loan to Leeds. Defending Carl Jenkinson has left for Nottingham Forest.

Already in: Lille Forward Nicolas Pepe is their 72nd flagship signing.

Aston Villa

What they need: Dean Smith wants another striker and defender. Free agent Daniel Sturridge is an option, although he is likely to wait until after Thursday's deadline, while Red Bull Leipzig striker Jean-Kevin Augustin is also depicted.

Who could go: Stoke is close to signing Scott Hogan for a seasonal loan.

Already in: Signings include goalkeeper Tom Heaton (£ 8m), defender Tyrone Mings (£ 20m) and two from Club Brugge – Marvelous Nakamba ((11m) and Wesley (22m).

Free agent Daniel Sturridge is an option for Villa , but he's probably waiting until after the deadline

Bournemouth

[1945902] What they need: Eddie Howe loves the 20-year-old midfielder Marcus Tavernier, but may leave it for another window.

Who could go: Nathan Ake is one of the goals of Everton, Harry Arter has joined Fulham, Sam Surridge goes to Swansea on loan and Jordon Ibe is wanted in Middlesbrough and Derby County

Already in: Howe has Philip Billing added from Huddersfield (£ 15 million) and Harry Wilson on loan from Liverpool.

Brighton

[1945902] What they need: Graham Potter would like another midfielder and the club to discuss a move for Huddersfield & Aaron Mooy

Who could go: Lewis Dunk is perhaps too expensive for suitors at £ 45m. Striker Jurgen Locadia is wanted by Derby County and Tomer Hemed can also go on loan.

Already in: Striker Neal Maupay has arrived from Brentford for £ 20m and Neil Webster is from Bristol City. They also have Leandro Trossard (£ 15m) from Genk.

Brighton continues conversations with Huddersfield for midfielder Aaron Mooy

Burnley

What they need: A midfielder is the key and a mid-back. Danny Drinking water on loan from Chelsea may depend on the wage. An offer has been rejected for Middlesbrough & Dael Fry, which is valued at £ 15m. Josh Brownhill in Bristol City is admired.

Who could go: James Tarkowski is too expensive, potential buyers say. Championship parties want Ben Gibson

Already in : Mid-forward Jay Rodriguez returns from West Bromwich for £ 10 million and they have added Erik Pieters from Stoke.

Chelsea

What they need: Their two-window transfer ban ends – they can no longer add in January.

Who can go: David Luiz to Arsenal. Fikayo Tomori is a loan option for Everton, Izzy Brown is a target for Stoke, Danny Drinkwater is being sought on a loan from Burnley and Reece James of Crystal Palace, among others.

Last Madrid's loan agreement for Mateo Kovacic of Real Madrid has been made permanent for £ 22 million.

Last summer, Chelsea has loan deal for Real Madrid's Mateo Kovacic standing for £ 22m

Crystal Palace

[1945902] What they need: Palace has made an improved offer of £ 23m for CSKA Moscow striker Fedor Chalov. Kyle Walker-Peters from Tottenham is on loan, as is Omar Elabdellaoui from Olympiacos and Ollie Watkins from Brentford.

Who could go: Everton continues to insist on Wilfried Zaha, who has asked to leave.

Already in: Gary Cahill on free Victor Camarasa has been loaned by Real Betis and James McCarthy has signed with Everton.

Everton

What they need: The center back is a priority and a winger. Wilfried Zaha and Alex Iwobi from Arsenal are the target. Djibril Sidibe has been loaned from Monaco.

Who could go: Morgan Schneiderlin talks to Galatasaray. Matt Pennington could join Hull. Cenk Tosun and Oumar Niasse are available and James McCarthy went to the palace.

Already in: Striker Moise Kean (£ 27.5m) was signed by Juve and Fabian Delph (£ 8.5 million) from Man City.

Wilfried Zaha submitted a transfer request after Palace made a huge bid from Everton rejected

Leicester

What they need: A middle back. Juventus defends Merih Demirel is a distance shot like Getene's Djene Dakonam. Burnley and Bournemouth want too much for James Tarkowski and Nathan Ake. But they have agreed to treat Sampdoria for midfielder Dennis Praet.

Who could go: Winger Rachid Ghezzal was offered to Sampdoria.

Already in: Ayoze Perez signed from Newcastle for £ 30m. The Youri Tielemans loan is now permanent for £ 35 million.

Liverpool

What they need: They want coverage left behind.

Who can go: Young defends George Johnston to Feyenoord, Taiwo Awoniyi to Mainz on loan. Ryan Kent is a Leeds target and Reading wants Ovie Ejaria.

Already in: It was a quiet summer, but goalie Adrian came from West Ham as cover and 16-year-old Harvey Elliott was signed by Fulham for compensation that will be settled by a court established. The Dutch defender Sepp van den Berg, 17, is also participating.

[1945909] Reading is interested in signing Liverpool youngster Ovie Ejaria before the window closes

Manchester City

What they need: Coverage at goalkeeper and center back

Who could go: Eliakim Mangala is interested from abroad and Danilo went to Juventus as part of the deal to defend Joao Cancelo, who also sees City paying the Italians £ 26 million. -year-old Rodri from Atletico for £ 62m. Cancelo competes on full-back and 18-year-old striker Felix Correia comes from Sporting Lisbon.

Manchester United

What they need: An attacker. Fernando Llorente is offered to them. David Neres at Ajax is an option and Mario Mandzukic from Juventus is still available.

Who could go: Marcos Rojo has options, Matteo Darmian wants to return to Italy and Romelu Lukaku will finally complete his move after United and Inter Milan reached agreement yesterday.

Already in: Harry Maguire (£ 80 million), Aaron Wan-Bissaka (£ 45 million) and Daniel James (£ 15 million).

Mario Mandzukic from Juventus is still available with Manchester United who wants a forward

Newcastle

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What they need: Steve Bruce wants to defend himself, named Steven Caulker, and another striker. Right back Emil Krafth comes from Amiens for £ 5.5 million. PSG & # 39; s Moussa Sissoko, 18, and Stanley N & # 39; Soki, 20, could also arrive.

Who could go: Dwight Gayle attracts attention. Jacob Murphy is wanted by Sheffield Wednesday and Jack Colback is looking for a loan.

Already in: Hoffenheim striker Joelinton for 40m and Allan Saint-Maximin from Nice.

Norwich

What they need: Norwich manager Daniel Farke would like another defender after a wave of injuries hit the club. They also asked about forward Alexis Claude-Maurice from Lorient and Bolton midfielder Dennis Politic.

Who could go: Farke needs all hands on deck.

Already in: Ibrahim Amadou, the versatile midfielder who can fill in the center back, has been loaned from Seville.

Norwich City promoted also asked about Bolton midfielder Dennis Politic [194590010]

Sheffield United

What they want: Chris Wilder wants a midfielder, but being focused on Kalvin Philips of Leeds United can be optimistic. There is interest in Daniel Amartey from Leicester City.

Who could go: Ben Heneghan's defense is sought by Hull City.

Already in: ] Oliver McBurnie (£ 17 million) from Swansea and Lys Mousset (£ 10 million) from Bournemouth have been added to add goals, with Ravel Morrison and Phil Jagielka arriving on free transfers.

Southampton

What they want: Scott Banks promises midfielder of Dundee United, and Jean-Clair Todibo on loan from Barcelona is possible.

Who could go: Mario Lemina, Charlie Austin, Guido Carillo and Mohamed Elyounoussi all discuss late movements away.

Already in: They have high expectations of 23-year-old midfielder Che Adams, signed for £ 15 million from Birmingham City and have 21-year-old midfielder Moussa Djenepo from Standard Liège (£ 15 million).

Southampton could make a move for promising Dundee United midfielder Scott Banks

Tottenham

What they need: Ryan Sessegnon is almost a member, and the club agreed last night to deal with Giovani Lo Celso of Betis. Talk about Juve's Paulo Dybala (right) can take too long, but they are also enthusiastic about Nice right back Youcef Atal, 23.

Who could go: Christian Eriksen could still moving abroad. Serge Aurier is wanted by PSG and Monaco. Palace wants Kyle Walker-Peters and Josh Onomah is a target for Fulham.

Already in: Tanguy Ndombele is a club record that signs from Lyon.

Watford

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What they need: Another attacker and winger. Watford would like to reach an agreement on a possible £ 36 million deal with Rennes over Ismaili Sarr.

Who Could Go: Watford has rejected Everton bids up to 40 m before Abdoulaye Doucoure. Stefan Okaka is interested in abroad.

Already in: Free agent Danny Welbeck signed yesterday to strengthen their attack options and defend Craig Dawson joined from West Bromwich (£ 5.5 million).

Watford would like to continue to reach agreement on £ 36m deal with Rennes on Ismaili Sarr

West Ham

[1945902] What they need: Swiss striker Albian Ajeti (right) signs from Basle for £ 8 million and they also want a borrowed mid-back and midfielder.

Who could go: Grady Diangana goes on loan to West Brom. Bolton wants to give Nathan Holland on loan. Josh Cullen talks to Charlton and Dan Kemp is expected to be on loan.

Already in: Sebastian Haller of Eintracht Frankfurt (£ 45 million) aims to offer goals while Pablo Fornals (Villarreal, £ 24m) plays offensive midfield.

Wolves

[1945902] What they need: Wolves asked for Real Sociedad in the back of Diego Llorente and Daniele Rugani in Juventus, while talks with Southampton about a loan for Mario Lemina. stuck. Forward Renat Dadashov joined Estoril and was loaned to Paco Ferreira.

Who could go: Midfielder Bright Enobakhare could join Coventry.

Already in: Striker Patrick Cutrone, 21, of AC Milan (£ 23m) is the striking signature.

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#The transfer window shuts at 5pm on Thursday… so who is your club in for?"