#And for your information returning to choir isn't helping either

[toubledrouble]

I miss playing violin so much but I'm so broke that I just have to suffer

#screaming crying throwing myself against a wall #ex violinist #I've tried to fill the gap with other instruments too but it isn't working #So so close to throwing my guitar against the wall and breaking the keyboard in half while screaming #I can barely listen to classical music or consume any information/content about it without the pain #It's like someone reached into my ribcage and tore out my heart #And for your information returning to choir isn't helping either #I just #I need to find a sugar daddy and persuade him to give me enough money to buy at least a half decent violin or I will combust #The first two years after I quit were such a relief bc my art school/orchestra and all the people were so terrible and abusive #And I was a kid and just wanted to have fun #But the past two years?? Suffering. I miss music. Even if I perform in other ways it never feels the same and I just can't anymore