#ALSO i think this story from Yuuji's perspective is really funny in comparison to Megumi's
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Alright alright alright SO one of my favorite lines in Calefaction isn’t exactly the prettiest when it comes to prose, but I love it nevertheless: “He wants to file this all away and never think about it again, and he doesn’t ever, ever want to let go.”
That line was my breakthrough for the story. See, Calefaction got stuck in Writer’s Block Hell for ages because the difficult thing about writing an Itafushi story hinging on a conversation about feelings is getting Megumi to talk. He flat-out won’t. He’s allergic to it. He’d rather die.
So in order to have talk about feelings be a legitimate story beat, I had to figure out why he wouldn’t just ice out and avoid the conversation completely. I was honest-to-god drawing flowcharts to try and figure this one out, and then I wrote that line—he doesn’t want to let go—and it all sort of clicked.
Because that’s what kickstarted the tragedy of the two of them, isn’t it? Megumi can’t let Yuuji go, even within minutes of meeting him. He’s the one who advocates for Gojo to spare Yuuji’s life, even though it goes against his morals, because he can’t walk away from this dumbass he just met. Yuuji’s the one he makes exceptions for, over and over again, so while talking about his feelings is unbearable, the alternative just isn’t an option for him.
From there, it was pretty easy to weave that thread throughout the rest of the story, and everything fell into place. The this-is-unbearable-but-the-alternative-is-worse motivation had the potential to be angsty but honestly just made his internal monologue an so much fun. His inner voice is so dry and logical that mixing in Dramatic Teenage Angst™ is hilarious to me specifically. For that exact reason, my second favorite section is “His face burns like he’s a middle-schooler with a stupid crush and honestly. Just shoot him now. Put him down like a sick dog. End his misery,” especially since this kid graduated middle school less than a year ago. It's wonderful.
Overall, this story was so much fun to write and I had a lot of fun answering this. Thanks for the ask!!
#calefaction got rewritten so many times#i struggled with it a lot until I put the aspec framing on it#and you might be like 'hey wait a second Ally isn't that what the whole story is about. like the entire thing'#and the answer to that is yes and I am a dumbass#see I wrote this based off of what I thought was a very specific personal experience#and then I squinted for a minute and said 'hey. wait a second.'#which is quite possibly the funniest way to lose plausible deniability when questioning your sexuality (or lack thereof)#in my personal opinion#ALSO i think this story from Yuuji's perspective is really funny in comparison to Megumi's#like you know that one audio clip that alternates between that super intense audio and '🎵i'm spinning like a ballerina🎵'#yeah that's them#yuuji's straight vibing/happy to be here while megumi is silently having the Crisis of his Life#whispers from the ally
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