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random-disaster-05 · 2 years

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Burned Out Gifted Kid Ramona

Now just hear me out for a second...

This is probably (more like definitely lol) just me projecting but Ramona gives me "burned out gifted kid that had a mental breakdown" kinda vibes. Well maybe she doesn't give off those vibes exactly but I could see her being a burned out gifted kid. (I literally have no reason to think this and yet here i am)

Like I could see her being the really smart and talented kid of her class but no one believes her bc she's just a rough and tough Badwolf. So she would try really hard to prove that she's not just a cliché bad guy who uses brawns over brains.

But then by freshman year at EAH she starts getting even more stressed bc now destiny is all anyone can focus on and she has a mental breakdown bc now not only does everyone think she's all brawn over brain but they basically demand it from her for her destiny when she tries to prove them wrong.

This breakdown would cause her to stop caring as much and basically give up on her classes and other interests. Eventually she starts failing to the point where she doesn't even try in the classes she has to take for her destiny. So to try and correct this Headmaster Grimm tells professor Badwolf to send her to reform school to get more serious about her destiny.

Professor Badwolf eventually agrees only after seeing how stressed EAH is making Ramona feel. Once at the Dark Forest Reform School, Ramona tries to get her grades just good enough to transfer back so that she can be with her dad and Cerise. Then she realizes that the students there are mostly a bunch of delinquents bc duh its called a reform school for a reason. After meeting a few of them and even making a few friends she starts to think of herself more and starts to act laid back and relaxed, not caring what people think.

Deep down she still hates the way people judge her before getting to know her but she now knows how harmful it is to try to win other peoples approval. Plus people leave her alone more now that they think she's just another selfish villain so she has space to breathe without someone constantly telling her she's doing something wrong by not being mean.

She's still really smart, like she could easily be the top of her class if she wanted, she just stopped putting in the effort bc she thinks its pointless now. She also started getting back into some of her old interests that she had before the breakdown but now she does everything she can to hide them so that people won't discourage her from liking things outside of her destiny like they used to.

She doesn't really try to hide how smart she is but she's more reserved about it and will only say anything if she has to. Like if she has to answer something on the board or has to work in a group for a project and prove that she did her part.

Cerise knows how smart Ramona actually is and knows about the breakdown. She feels guilty for not being able to stand up for her when people tell her she's not as smart as she really is and for not realizing just how stressed Ramona really was. When students started noticing how sad and guilty Cerise looked after Ramona went to reform school that's when the rumors that it was her fault Ramona left began.

Ramona doesn't blame Cerise for not doing anything. In fact, she actively tried to hide her stress from her family bc she feels like they have enough to deal with and she still has a hard time opening up to them bc of that but she knows better now and is trying her best.

Once she transfers back to EAH she does her best to check on Cerise anytime she can so that she doesn't burn herself out like Ramona did. Ramona even tutors her sometimes for some of her more difficult classes.

I think this would be a pretty cool idea having Cerise be the really sporty one and Ramona being the secret nerd. In the book "Class of Classics" their mom (Red Riding Hood) seemed like a pretty smart and dedicated student. I think it even said she made freaking smoke bombs in one of the books(pls correct me if I'm wrong)

It would be nice to give Ramona a way to feel close to her mom since she seems more wolf than hood and Cerise seems to be a good mix of both(even if people in the show don't realize it).

WOW this turned out to be longer than i thought. Let me know what you guys think or if I got some info in the books wrong. And I'm gonna be honest, since she doesn't have a lot of screen time I mostly got this idea from how I've seen her portrayed in fanon sometimes. Do with that what you will.

#ever after high #eah #eah headcanons #ramona badwolf #cerise hood #eah red riding hood #professor Badwolf #burned out gifted kid ramona #i literally have no reason to think this #i just think it would be cool #i am definitely just projecting at this point #do i care tho....nah #give ramona more hood traits from her mom dammit

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theramblingsofa20something-blog · 7 years

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I’m Lost.

I’m lost. I’m in such a weird space. Sometimes I feel like I’m on the edge of a cliff and waves are crashing at my feet and they’re calling me to leave everything behind. To pack up my dogs, a container of watermelon, a blanket from my mom and just find a new place to call home. I want to get in my car and drive away. As far away as I can manage to get. I want to leave my job behind, I want to leave my ridiculous rent behind, I want to leave gas and electric bills. And sometimes, I want to leave my girlfriend behind. All of those things are draining me in ways I can’t seem to replenish. Sometimes I dream that someone will find me in this dark place and pull me out. That someone will see a person, beautiful and sensitive and promise to protect my heart and love me. I hope sometimes for a friend. Someone I can actually talk to. Someone I can share my hopes, my dreams, my fears with. Just a friend. A person who loves me but doesn’t need anything from me. It’s been so long since I’ve had a real friend to confide in. I used to put strangers in that place because I could just disappear when I became too vulnerable. I could stop messaging back, I could delete my page and there wouldn’t be a trace of me left. That’s pretty fucked up though. I just want so badly to lay my burdens at someones feet and run away. Fly away. I wish I could just push off the ground and soar above everything. I wish I could find my way to the mountains, crystal clear waters, silence. I want to be with a person who wants the same. I want love. Real love. Not a love that requires that I be the strength, the planner, the budget-er, the enforcer, the counselor, the time keeper, the mother. I don’t want to be the adult anymore. I want, for once, to be able to say that i’m tired and have a partner who, without a debate, will step up and take everything on until they see that i’m ok. I don’t have that now. I have someone who relies on me for everything. Every fucking thing. But the hardest part is the emotional needs. I am so fucking tired. I am tired of the emotional breakdowns, the promise of making changes so she doesn’t end up there again, then absolute bliss, to only be followed up by falling into the same traps, and the deepest depressions. I know this is horrible, but I cannot pull someone from the edge if I’m sitting next to them there. But that never matters. Where I’m at never matters. How I feel never matters. I could be in the darkest space I’ve ever been in and she’ll need me to be ok or she’ll fall apart and then I’ve got to find strength to fix her. I don’t have it anymore. I don’t know what to do. This week, because she had drank three fourths of a bottle of wine, she found herself in an emotional fallout where she wanted accountability from her family for all of the hurt and emotional abuse, then she shared that she didn’t want to be here anymore, then she wanted to leave, tipsy, to her sisters house to demand they take responsibility and share in her pain. I cannot explain how many times we have been in that situation. I’ve known her for 10 years, been living together for 5, this happens repeatedly throughout the year. It seems to happen every time things start going good. Or anytime I’m falling a part. I have held her hand, cried with her, gave her encouraging speeches, helped her work out a plan, helped her back up, time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time and time again. Each time, she puts herself back in the same situation. And I can understand it. I understand the hurt, the tears, wanting to give up. I get it. But I’m tired. I’m tired of it. I’m tired of being the only way she gets through. Do you know how fucking hard that is. I have nothing left. I have nothing left. I used to want to help everyone, whenever they were in a hard situation. I would want to be the shoulder they cried on. I can’t fucking do it anymore. She has ruined that part of me. She takes advantage of it. She’s selfish and she knows it. When I break down, maybe once a year, she tells me that she forgets that I’m a person who hurts too. Like, what the fuck is that. How the fuck do you forget. I can’t help but be aware of how empty people are. I see every ones fucking pain all the time. Yet, she can’t see mine until I can’t pick myself up. And then you know what happens? She’ll tell me she’s going to help me more, around the house, with the dog, talk to me more about my job and how I’m feeling. And that’s great. Until the very next morning when I wake up and I still feel empty. I still have that nagging feeling that my world is falling a part while the world busily passes me by and because we spend a full hour talking about me the night before, she’s ready to move on and require more from me. Even basic shit like wanting me to set the alarm for her even though it’s my day off and it’s her responsibility to wake herself up for work. Nope, she wants me to. She doesn’t fold laundry, or take the dogs out, or pick up after herself, or make the bed. She does laundry wrong, mixing darks and whites. Mixing soft clothes with shit like towels and rugs. She doesn't put her brushes back into the drawer when she’s done doing her hair in the morning, or pick the trash can lid up to fit a piece of trash into the trash can if the lid won’t easily push in because it’s nearing the top. Like, what the fuck is that. And I know those are small things but what they are to me is disrespect. Disrespect to my time. To me, they say that she knows that I’ll do it so why should she. And all I think about is how literally my entire family does this to my mom and she’s constantly on edge because raising 3 kids and a husband is fucking tiring and hard as shit. And people will try to tell you that it’s the best thing that ever happen but people are lying because they don’t want to be miserable alone. I don’t want to be 56 and worn out from my own family and a job that I tolerate. I’m so confused. I want a family, a supportive partner, a job that I enjoy, one that doesn’t interfere with life. With me living it. And I hate my job so much right now but it affords me the luxury of rolling out of bed around 8, being home to take the dogs out all day, I can take a lunch break and walk around, i can watch tv while I work but I still hate it. I hate that. I hate that I hate it. I feel like I’m being unappreciative because once upon a time I worked on my feet for random ass hours, making shit money, dealing with entitled customers and I would dream about an office job, especially an office job that didn’t require an office. But here I am, something short of miserable. I don’t know how to explain how I feel other than I want to be free. I’ve been saying that all my life. I don’t know how to achieve that kind of freedom. Money buys that kind of freedom but I don’t care for money. I don’t chase it, i’m not motivated by it, it doesn’t make me feel comfortable and I hate the ways in which one has to sell their soul to earn it. It feels so unfair. You get one life. A tiny little blip on this earth and you spend a majority of your week, each week, at a place that profits off underpaying you for work most people hate. And we work to live, but by the time we finish our 40 hours, we’re tired and broke. There are those people who work like crazy and they have extra money to blow on designer shoes and purses and big ass houses and expensive cars but I don’t want any of that. I could win the lottery tomorrow and would still go buy cheap jewelry at Forever21. I just want to be able to take my dogs to the park, sit in the sun and read a book. I want to have a garden and work in it whenever I want. I want to go on road trips and see the world. But I can’t. Because here I am with a partner who needs me the way a toddler does and a job that asks me to do the work of someone who gets paid double what I do. But I don’t leave because I like the freedom it gives me. And I don’t leave because that shit is scary and hard and I’ve already managed to isolate myself, what happens when I’m alone for real. When I don’t have anyone. And how would she do? What about all of the shit we wanted together. A house, maybe kids. Every time I think i’m leaving, those things pull me back. What if I leave, searching for something else and I realize that I was just being a cry baby. That I passed up love. And sometimes I think that this isn’t love. It’s someone needing me and me needing someone to need me. Sometimes I look in her eyes and I can’t stop staring because I am looking for something. And I feel like she’s doing the same and I fear that she’ll be looking in my eyes and won’t see what she wants either. I don’t want to be left. I don’t want to be abandoned because as the adult I’ll take the hurt while she runs around getting drunk, meeting girls who will throw themselves at her. And I’ll be alone with this rent, with the dogs, with the gas/electric/cable/car/insurance. I want things to work. I want her to be the partner I need. And I keep saying partner because that’s what I need. Someone to take on their half of shit in this relationship and be able to carry me sometimes. That’s all I want. I want someone who doesn’t just look at me and tell me that I’m the best thing that ever happen to them because I saved them and made their life better. I want someone who makes me feel the same way every day. Is that too much to fucking ask for. To be loved, not just needed.

Rant over.

#relationship #lgbtq #lost #finding myself #relationship problems

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