#*smiles carnivorously* and there are spies everywhere

[sctsunai-archived]

duskshipping.

THANK GOD I AM SUCH DUSKSHIPPING TRASH

who hogs the duvet

Yuuri. Constantly, all the time, there’s no other state of being. Yuuri is a filthy fucking blanket hog but Dennis just puts up with it.

who texts/rings to check how their day is going

Dennis, every day. He checks up on Yuuri occasionally and Yuuri almost never replies but Dennis is happy just to see the ‘read’ receipt. Yuuri sometimes bothers Dennis incessantly if he’s bored or lonely, I don’t give a fuck about your responsibilities, come home right now and cuddle me

who’s the most creative when it comes to gifts

Dennis, obviously, he’s fun and creative and imaginative. Yuuri buys Dennis a gift once but the lady at the store takes him to the jewelry case because he’s clueless. 

So he gets Dennis a little silver charm bracelet and the charms are like a playing card and a magic wand and a star.

Dennis thinks it’s adorable and wears it every day and he shows it off and eventually like Shun or somebody is like “he got you jewelry was he shopping for a girl???”

Yuuri gets so intensely embarrassed about it like it’s not his fault people didn’t teach gift buying at Academia the damn store lady said it was a good idea! And he fails to live down the teasing ever and never gets Dennis another present either.

who gets up first in the morning

to everyone’s surprise, Yuuri.

Yuuri’s got shit to do and plants to tend and he’s used to the early morning soldier schedule.

but god help you if you ever wake him from a nap.

who suggests new things in bed

both of them and they’re so unabashedly dirty they’ll try almost anything once that Yuuri doesn’t veto.

Dennis will try anything.

Dennis is adventurous and Yuuri can’t even comprehend the shit he finds on the internet.

who cries at movies

Dennis. He cries his eyes out and Yuuri just.

“I can’t fucking take you anywhere, stop, hold still, oh goD CLEAN YOUR FACE, DON’T TOUCH ME”

who gives unprompted massages

Dennis. Dennis is tactile, he loves touching Yuuri and Yuuri melts at his massages? It doesn’t matter where or when, Yuuri will never protest and Dennis gets his touching time.

who fusses over the other when they’re sick

They both fuss over each other in different ways.

Dennis spoils the shit out of Yuuri. Hot presses, cold presses, the tv set at the right volume, extra pillows, medicine taken on the spot for the next dose, homemade soup and blackout curtains.

Yuuri ignores Dennis is sick until he gets bad and then he awkwardly tries to copy how Dennis takes care of him and it’s awkward and uncomfortable. Dennis takes a nap and wakes up to Yuuri having turned their room into like some apothecary nightmare, there’s herbs and plants everywhere and Yuuri is putting some weird paste on his chest but he’s too sick to deal with it.

( Yuuri is smug when his stuff works better than medicine ever did, take that )

who gets jealous easiest

Look at Yuuri and tell me “jealous” isn’t a word that describes him.

Dennis cannot even hang out around Yuuya without Yuuri getting puffy and jealous about it.

who has the most embarrassing taste in music

Yuuri likes instrumental music and that’s it.

Dennis likes everything and that’s horrifying.

Yuuri has broken no less than six stereos and two of Dennis’s phones when Dennis has played shitty American music that he can’t even understand ( because he was never taught English) like Crazy Frog and Fergalicious.

who collects something unusual

I don’t think either of them collect normal things that most people would collect.

Yuuri collects poisonous plants and carnivorous plants and any animal bones he finds, what the fuck?

Dennis collects like every shitty kiddie magic set ever. He’s got like 192 decks of cards and top hats that wouldn’t even fit on his head.

who takes the longest to get ready

Dennis’s hair always looks like a mess and that’s because sometimes he forgoes brushing it because what’s the point?

Yuuri takes 9 hours.

He takes longer than any woman on a tv show, and god forbid he see something out of place in the mirror by the door as they’re leaving, like Yuuri I have a brush in the car, Yuuri no, we don’t have time for this, YUURI

who is the most tidy and organised

Yuuri likes cleanliness and order and organization and it’s also funny because he hates to clean. He hates it. So he will bitch at Dennis if he finds boxers on the floor, there’s a hamper right there you HEATHEN, because Yuuri will only clean when he has to.

who gets most excited about the holidays

Yuuri regrets his life choices spending his first Christmas with Dennis. They live together, it’s nice, but Halloween was tolerable for the aesthetic but Christmas is a devil’s holiday where Yuuri’s concerned.

Dennis wears a different ugly Christmas sweater each day, there’s no repeats and so you will not see them out in public together at all in December.

who is the big spoon/little spoon

Yuuri is a weird person who says “don’t touch me” but likes cuddling. Dennis is precariously the big spoon because he is A, bigger and B, not trapped in Yuuri’s arms where he could potentially lose his life if he angers his boyfriend.

who gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports

Yuuri can also be described as the word “competitive.”

Dennis is also not one for letting his pride be mocked.

Shun mocks them both constantly and Yuuri is so full of vinegar that it gets out of hand.

who starts the most arguments

For two emotionally stunted, broken, abused people with wildly differing personalities, they fight very little.

Yuuri is always the one who starts it. Every time, without fail.

They fight mostly when Dennis is worn out and can’t take Yuuri’s sharp tongue anymore. Sometimes a guy needs a break and yelling at Yuuri is the only way to get it.

And yet, somehow, Dennis always apologizes with hot tea.

who suggests that they buy a pet

Dennis and Yuuri says “no” before the question is ever finished being asked.

Yuuri hates pets, hates animals, get them away from him.

Dennis wants a pet anyway but he knows better than to suggest a dog, one drop of saliva on Yuuri and the dog would be gone.

So Dennis goes to the shelter with Yuuya and Yuugo to look at cats and finds this sleek cat who explicitly hates Yuugo for no reason at all.

Yuuri accepts that cat and only that cat for that very reason.

what couple traditions they have

There are no traditions here other than cuddling and reading books.

Yuuri also attends every magic show of Dennis’s without fail no matter how much he hates the noise and crowds. Dennis, on the other hand, helps in Yuuri’s garden the next day and gets bit by at least two plants every time.

what tv shows they watch together

They don’t, let’s be real.

what other couple they hang out with

There are so few people who can tolerate Yuuri or Dennis and there are virtually no people who can tolerate Yuuri and Dennis.

Yuuya and whoever he’s dating end up being the victim of double dates.

Yuuri hates them.

how they spend time together as a couple

Cuddling. A lot of cuddling. And messing around.

who made the first move

Dennis. By accident, actually. When they were kids at Academia, Dennis put on an entertaining duel that Yuuri spied on from the shadows. Dennis told Trapeze Magician to give one of their audience members a gift.

Trapeze gave Yuuri a rose even though he was out of sight and he popped his head out for just a sec with the rose.

Dennis broke into this big, goofy, missing-two-teeth smile and Yuuri was gone, what happened, he does not understand.

who brings flowers home

Why bring flowers home when one of them grows them?

Dennis. Dennis does.

Yuuri hates it, stop killing flowers you asshole, it’s not a romantic gesture.

who is the best cook

Dennis only because Yuuri emulates his ace card so well.

Yuuri is always hungry, all the time and he doesn’t gain any weight.

No one figures out how.

When Yuuri cooks, he takes the whole “taste your cooking” thing to heart and by the time he’s tasted it multiple times, it’s half gone.

Dennis is tired of being hungry because of this and now he cooks all the meals and makes a snack for Yuuri to eat while he cooks so he doesn’t eat their meal again.

#❛ anonymous. ❜ #❛ asks. ❜ #❛ what a shame we all became such fragile broken things. ❜ ⁽ᵈᵉᶰᶰᶦˢ ˣ ʸᵘᵘʳᶦ⁾ #❛ shut the fuck up zayne. ❜ ⁽ᵒᵒᶜ⁾ #long post cw