#(thetis would be an avatar of the lonely. that's not relevant but i think it's important.)

[radioromantic-moved]

in-depth analysis of a smash-bros-style fight between my main f/os Go (this is very long you’ve been warned)

-basically i’m imagining this as set in a big giant building with a separate room set up for each competitor to start in. i set it up like that so glados stands a chance because she needs something to connect to. she just sits in her room and if anyone comes in she traps them in a nasty little maze

-rudyard, frank and oren don’t even bother participating. they’re just Guys they’d get fucking obliterated. all three of them consider it for kicks but end up psyching themselves out when they see the competition. 

-fenneko, georgie and melanie don’t really feel like getting obliterated either but they Will watch and make fun of everyone who loses.

-gordon with his gun hand and hev suit can probably hold his own for a while but his heart isn’t really in it and he’s not really having a good time so he doesn’t try that hard.

-mera has powers and is obviously pretty strong but she’s also kind of a glass cannon so one solid hit and she goes down. she and gordon probably take each other out.

-drake can beat phoenix in canon but unless there’s extremely serious stakes involved he won’t stay in it for long. after he does that he just. goes home or something (maybe he joins fenneko and georgie and melanie)

-mordecai has a Gun and is sneaky but i think it would be funny if he got beaten by patb because 1) they are mice and he is a cat and it would be dramatic irony and 2) it would be hilarious if toon characters can use that fact to their advantage. pinky goes “my gosh, you can’t shoot us! what sort of example would that set for the children?” and ties his gun into a pretzel

-fittingly enough they also lose for that same exact reason. having them win would be breaking the status quo.

-dash and della team up and do really well until della gets stuck in a spiral hallway. dash blasts her way out of it with rainbow powers but then tries to take on glados with the power of friendship (tm) but since she’s by herself she can’t do much of anything

-glados gets taken down by trexel who has been crawling around in the vents for the entire time. he just pulls out all the wires connecting her to the walls and she shuts down but he gets electrocuted. they’re both fine he’s just dumb as shit.

-which leaves helen and thetis, who get into a no-holds-barred showdown match in helen’s corridors. (helen: you’re getting the CARPETS all WET) eventually it has to be stopped because they’re both just melting away into a different reality whenever they get cornered and are trading increasingly rude remarks with each other. they bond later over being mean to twinks.

#(thetis would be an avatar of the lonely. that's not relevant but i think it's important.) #the ones saddest about the no-killing rule are trexel helen and mordecai. #also the winner's prize is unknown. maybe it's my hand in marriage. #nyx on comms #i won't tag them all i'm too tired #but enjoy <3