#(that's sexist and misogynist as fuck and you'll find that in the *majority* of cishet kink clubs all around the world)

[not-poignant]

Hi, I've been rereading Falling Falling Stars and appreciating the nuanced way you represent issues in the kink community. I was at a very M/f-biased party recently and remembering the things Efnisien says about how some kink spaces can feel very sexist. While also noting that it doesn't mean any individual is bad! I also like the aspect of Ef being triggered by aspects of kink and some kinky characters being insensitive to that, but not malicious. I like having a story that shows these things!

Hi anon!

Oh man I loved being able to write about this. Especially because Efnisien was so fresh to kink at the time so it was all very obviously misogynist to him (which...some of it really is!) and Arden I think managed to explain pretty well that sometimes people have fantasies around this stuff that they feel ashamed of and they have a right not to feel shamed for exploring something in ideally a safe kinky space.

But at the same time I think there's also a big difference in feeling between majority-queer kinky spaces and majority-cishet kinky spaces, and most queer folk who have been in these kinky spaces know exactly what I mean when I say this. Not everyone has the privilege to experience both. Sometimes you just get the latter and make do. And there's often more 'queer' in those spaces than folks realise anyway, it just tends to be a bit more hidden, depending.

So I just liked the ability to talk about it actually! To have Efnisien talk about it, and Arden, and Kadek a little bit, and get the different perspectives. I loved writing Efnisien standing up for himself on the collar situation (to this day he doesn't wear a collar), and challenging things that become easy to take for granted in kink spaces because everyone is taking it for granted/not talking about it.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed it, anon! :D

#asks and answers #falling falling stars #pia on kink #what i liked about efnisien and arden talking about it is #some of efnisien's observations are incredibly accurate #but he's missing the part where *some* of it is fantasy #and therefore not unhealthy or anything #the shitty part is when it intersects with very real misogyny (which it does) #(like when a DM just assumes the woman is the submissive/bottom and only addresses the man #despite all indications to the contrary) #(that's sexist and misogynist as fuck and you'll find that in the *majority* of cishet kink clubs all around the world) #efnisien due to his own past actions and his sessions with Dr Gary #immediately sees 'what is wrong with this picture' #Arden is like 'well yeah but the picture isn't *always* what you think it is' #but sometimes it is sladfkfj