#(plus even having that validation from someone else can't solve everything for you)

[nightswithkookmin]

Jimin is a pretty bOY

This is a continuation of our discussion on my last post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me, I think I agree with all of it.

Not sure how I feel about the calling eachother out bit or near scolding of others in the comments. Please let's be welcoming and respectful of others's thoughts regardless of whether or not we agree with it. It's ok to hold diverse views. We do after all come from different backgrounds and have accumulated different experiences and I think it plays out in how we see things. Everyone's opinion is valid. Plus, I purple yall.

Now, do I think he is trying to pack on muscles........? Yes. He said so himself in Festa when he said he would rush to the mirror when he thought he had gained some muscle only to find out his biceps looks like a muscled kindergartner.

He also said lately he's into exercising and staying in shape which is true because for quite sometime now since early this year he has been talking about how "weak" he is in their Vlives and have even given instances of him not being able to do certain things- certian simple and easy tasks- which is typical of him I'd say. He's always talking about how "weak" he is especially around JK and juxtaposing that with "but JK is so strong" which I'm sorry but I have to smirk at right now cos it's such a typical gay pick me simp thing to do. We've all been there.

Do I think he's trying to be a muscle bunny or revert back to his body shape around debut? Absolutely not. But I do think he is straddling the line of toxic masculinity which is what the conversation is about.

I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to stay in shape or even enjoying work outs. Last night I ran downstairs because I had left my stew on the stove and now this morning I called renew my gym membership because I discovered running can be actually fun to do... No. No it's not. The gym instructor would have to come for me kicking and screaming.

RM have said even though JM looks skinny and fragile he is one of the strongest within the group. Besides, this is not the first time he's expressed interest in working out and building his body- hello, on Era?

I remember people complaining he looked too buffed up in that period on SNS and PJMs quickly jumping in to clear the searches for it. The choreo for On required agility and endurance and required the members- not just JM build up some definition in their muscles.

We've seen them go through all that. So it's not simply a matter of black and white staying in shape or doing it because he feels pressured to do so. Especially, when you consider that he's undertaken some pretty unhealthy measures in the past in attempts to lose weight or soften out his body post these muscle building, weight gaining periods and we've always chalked it up to his dance and how as a contemporary dancer he has to look a certain way or this or that to try to justify and make sense of it. Next you, know there are six chapters of break the silence of him talking about all the dark places he's been, the pressures to look his best for his fans or for his job and all these other painful stories he's shared with us over the years. And it's like, but why? Why do this to yourself?

I'll never forget the look he gave JK when JK was talking about wanting to build muscles in one of the interviews for the promotion of Be- I think I made a post on it. When JK noticed JMs disapproving glare he backtracked saying he would want to stay skinny after gaining all that muscles.

I mean if I'm to be honest, he was bound to crack at one point. The signs were there being surrounded by all these men who adhere to the traditional aesthetics of a masculine body- from Namjoon to Taehyung.

I wish y'all will steer the conversation in this direction and make it more about gender norms and expressions and breaking stereotypes and diversity in the body aesthetics of men.

Jimin is a man too. He just isn't what people traditionally will label masculine. Androgynous is more an apt word in my opinion. How many times have I said, I think Jungkook hetero passes because his body aesthetics is quintessentially what most associates with a masculine man?

Breaking gender barriers is not just about embracing feminine apparels- that teeters on cross dressing quite frankly and can be a bit performative and baity. Then you have to consider their culture in itself has an inherent pro gender diversity feel to it.

Now, let me explain my problem with the Klout ad campaign a little bit.

Do you see how Tae stands out? And I'm not saying this to fuel the "Tae was their fav" debacle. It's the 007 feel... I'll explain in a bit.

Most often, alcohol advertisers as well as most advertisements intended to sell to men often try to appeal to men's internalized ideals of masculinity or try to shape and define what a man or masculinity should look like. These ideals are so often toxic and detrimental to men and mostly women too.

Take a look at these ads for example. All I had to do was google search ads for men.

Real men drink milk and look at the image they present as real men. This blatantly implies if you don't look like this, if you are not a strong cliff climbing man with abs you are not a real man.

The second image is subtle. I call it the 007 slash Kingsmen-esque ideals of masculinity. It portrays men as sexy cool badass- works out but isn't too buff, filthy rich or middle class, wears Rolex, designer clothes, is kind but has a mean exterior and is every 13 year old wattpad girls's dream of a man. In fiction, you see this kind of masculinity in characters such as Edward cullens to Christian Grey. And a lot of ads for men alternate between these two ideals of masculinity.

Do you see how they modeled Taehyung in these ads after this kind of masctheme? Tae looks the same in almost all the ads. 007 sexy cool badass.

Now, I may not be a makeup beauty guru or MUA or whatever, but one thing I've picked up on especially when it comes to makeup for men- BTS and Kpop idols mostly is that, they soften out the harsh features on their faces and make them appear more androgynous or effeminate to suit the Kpop look and they ditch it entirely in different settings.

So for instance, Tae and Kookie's natural hawkish eyebrows tend to get softened around the arch and edges- don't know how the fuck they do that- but it appears less in your face intense most times when they wear make up in kpop related contents.

However, in certain other contents that lean towards a certain gender theme those features are emphasized. Not to say hawkish features are masculine features. Just saying in men, Kpop idols, my observation is they soften those features out with makeup or surgery.

Now, take a look at JM in these ads and look at everything from his posture, make up, hairstyle and brows. It's as if someone took an eraser to his androgynousity and erased his feminine side. Take a look at his photo above and compare it to the ads.

I am not a man. But I feel the gender look they went for, intended to appeal to men, tapped into a rather outdated stereotype of what man and masculinity should look like.

What is a man?

What should a man look like?

What aesthetics of masculinity is Jimin gravitating towards now? And I'm not talking clothes, I'm talking the expression of his gender. Time and again, he's talked about how looking a certain way made him uncomfortable in the past because he was constantly fighting his feminine side. He is androgynous. Sometimes he leans more into his feminine side. Other times he leans more into his masculine side but this is the only time he's leaning into his masculinity that makes me uncomfortable to watch because like I said it bothers on toxic masculinity.

He's said whoever he was, the version fighting to look masculine, that wasn't him. So forgive me if I worry whenever i see him suppressing his feminine side and acting like 'one of the boys.' Him staying in shape is not synonymous with him erasing a valid part of himself or suppressing it. He can stay in shape, celebrate his masculinity and still be FILTER.

What I'm saying is, this not a conversation about him exercising. This is a conversation about an ad erasing his feminine side and boxing him into a narrow expression of his gender and how that might be affecting his view of himself especially in the way he's been gravitating towards a certain masculine aesthetics and how that could be toxic.

Tae has said the same thing and BTS have agreed the JM as of 2019 was the real JM according to them.They said he was that way- suppressing his feminine side, because there weren't much songs and choreos that suited him and so he had had to bend himself to fit with the others.

And so when I see him leaning a certain way I tend to wonder if his exterior environment is playing a role in that. I hope you can understand that.

He is a contemporary dancer and strength and flexibility are prerequisites for his craft. The company go out of their way to incorporate contemporary dance in their choreos for JM's sake which helps solve that problem of him trying too hard to look a certain way.

May be I'm projecting. May be my little brother is effeminate and I've always recommended Jimin as a role for him to tell him not to try to look different just because other boys look different. May be I've seen him try one too many times to kill himself in the gym trying to build on muscles and getting frustrated with himself because he ends up looking like someone else. You can't gym the queerness away. Society will never let you be who you want to be so you might as well flip it the middle finger.

These boys are being shaped by their environment. I hate to say this but the environment they are in isn't exactly progressive and the longer they stay in there cut off from the outside world...

Flying out helps. Meeting different people and being exposed to different cultures and conversations on gender expression helps.

Anywho, these are just concerns I have. Will have them till I see that's not where he is headed towards. But let's not act like these ad campaigns do not and can not psychologically impact these boys especially as these advertisers are not looking to tap into their own definition of gender and masculinity but shape it and redefine it to appeal to the demographic they intend to market to.

I think this is just a grey area for me. Rather than try to change JM to look a certain way in order to sell alcohol. I think the ground breaking thing would be to have a man who looks like JM show us how someone like him would sell a can of drink. I think that would be revolutionary.

Signed,

GOLDY

[silverylion]

Can we talk about Lance for a bit ?

There is something that really bothers me in season 8. I mean everyone is kind of still recovering but I feel like I need to say it anyway.

They chose to heavily feature Allurance from episode one cause they planned to kill Allura. It's a fact. As much as I don't ship it, they make a really cute couple with adorable scenes that made me smile and support them and I could have got over my disappointment regarding who I wanted to end up with Lance if only Lance had shown a bit of happiness by being with her.

No manner how we look at it, he isn't happy ! Why is that ? He finally got what he always wanted so why did they depicted him like that ? I really don't understand and that's what makes me so angry about all of this.

He doesn't seem like someone in love who finally got the girl! He seems hurt! Why is that ??

I'm ready to ignore the messy plotline of this season, the inconsistencies and everything that is wrong because overall, what I really care about is Lance as a character.

He means a lot to me because he is so different from the characters we normally meet in this kind of stories. He began as an annoyingly flirty boy who was desperately searching for glory to calm the insecurities he only show to few people. He was talented but needed someone else to acknowledge it to fully realize it himself. He was defined by his loudness and his love for love. He was looking for validation and a special person who would love him as profoundly as he love others. He had big dreams, big expectations, a bright future ahead of him. He wasn't overly masculine, liked being pretty and throw terrible pick up lines. He was funny, adorable I fell for him as much as I identified with (even if we are so different). He wasn't perfect, far from it, but it's also why I love him.

For many - including me - he was also representation. Not only for another kind of complex character but also by being Cuban and supposedly bisexual, something that seemed to be heavily implied so many times but I won't even talk about it.

During the series he has grown to be more self assured through the missions he accomplished with his friends, the people he met but most importantly Keith who trusted him and relied on his abilities, which definitely shown him his worth. I'm not even gonna talk about Klance as romantic. Keith is an important person for Lance's character, a friend he needed by his side along the way and that still was there for him in season 8. Which is really great, by the way.

I'm not gonna talk about the 'first choice' thing or the 'someone he needs, not someone he wants' or even the 'endgame' aspect of his romance. But yeah, that was all lies.

On this photo, Allura seems calm and happy, she seems like she can finally see a future with Lance and it's great. What is not so great, though ? When I saw this particular part in the episode, I stopped and watched Lance's face for about 5 minutes to try to understand. I don't see a happy boyfriend, here. I see a guy kind of unsure of what he is doing. I see a guy who doesn't know if what he is having is for real or even if it's what he really wants. He seems quite uncomfortable, tensed. It's maybe just a projection on my part but I genuinely cant see happiness here no matter how long I look at it. But maybe I'm really biased and don't see what actually is, you tell me.

Throughout the season, he was here to support Allura on her journey and it's great, but I would have wanted her to reciprocate it in a way or another. It's what Lance always needed and he didn't got it.

And in the end, he cried. I feel like he never really believed that this relationship would stick, that for whatever reason, they would end up parting paths. And the crew chose to kill her... In all honesty, Allura is not a character I really care about. I thought nothing about her in s1 and in s2, I started disliking her with what happened with Keith. But even thought I don't really care for her, making her die ? For seemingly no reason ? It's tough. And once again, I'm not even talking about how they killed representation or how people in the fandom can feel crushed by that, betrayed, even. I'm only remaining on Lance's side.

He never really had someone to reciprocate his love, something confirmed by his mom. He fell for Allura, casually at first, really hard when the series continued. What he feels for her is genuinely profound and I really liked that he confessed to her but even then... why did he seemed so sad ?

Just look at him !

He probably never loved anyone as much as he loved her. He sees a lot in her but he never felt like he was on equal ground with her. She is an awesome gorgeous space princess. He is just a boy from Cuba. (An awesome funny adorable space ranger but what do I know...). He never felt like he had a chance or deserved her affection. What about that ? It wasn't mentioned even once and I think that this is the reason of his constant sad face while he confesses, while he kisses her, while he conforts her...

I just don't understand and it makes me sad to see him like that. I know, he is just a character, I know this is just a cartoon, I know this just a kid show. But seeing a character you so much love becoming this sad guy that only support without reciprocation, this guy that loved love and is betrayed by it ? I just can't feel anything else but anger and disappointment for the wasted potential.

He ended up losing the woman he loved. The only person who seemed to reciprocate his feelings and because of that I think that he will always be a little more cautious about it because he has always been disappointed. He shot for the stars and fell hard. I fell hard with him. And as someone that feel that love will never go both ways, it just makes me even more bitter about this.

About the altean markings I don't know what to think. Some people think Allura turned him altean, others think she just left him something to remember her by. In both cases, this is wrong.

If the first theory is true, then what? What does that mean beside the ridiculous impossibility to change race? Did she make him altean to 'level him up' from his human status because he wasn't a match for her? Because altean are so much better? Because there was no need for that! Alteans are not all dead so why? For all I know, it wasn't to make royalty knowing that he ended up farmer so... once again, why?

If the second theory is true, well... That's even worst. She wants him to remember her ? I think he has enough around him for that, the status, the commemorations, the legend that will follow her, stories, his friends that gather to talk about her and how they miss her and what she meant for them... Giving him this will only prevent him from moving on. And it's harsh. I personally think that he should have moved on a long time ago. She never loved him, she was annoyed by his flirty attitude, by his simple presence sometimes. He should have seen that blatant rejection and accepted that yeah, he wants her but cannot have her. Romantic love wasn't something she cared about for so long. And then she fell for Lotor who betrayed her. And I think she honestly still doesn't care about Lance this way.

I think Allura didn't fell in love with Lance. She was heartbroken because of Lotor, because of the altean, because of the crown she lost, because she saw everyone with families while she lost hers. I think Allura just wanted someone that would take care of her and lift her burden with her. Just someone that would remind her that she is not alone in the universe, a distraction from the pain she was feeling. Someone that would ground her to prevent her from losing hope. He was easy, he loved her, she just accepted it not reciprocated it.

I see this like that because there was no real build up for their relationship. It wasn't a slow burn. It wasn't even reciprocal. She was sad that Lance felt so strongly about her and accepted their relationship for her own balance and because she didn't want to see her friend so sad. It didn't solve the problem for him though. Plus when the vision of Lotor, her ex boyfriend, told her to go get the creature thing she did but when Lance, her current (well past cause well, she's dead) boyfriend told her not to because it was dangerous and he cared to much for her safety, she didn't listen to him... Great. That's love folks.

I really could have fell for their story but seeing Lance so sad, so taken advantage of... He was so dull, no charisma, no joke, no stupid lines, nothing. He wasn't himself. He wasn't the Lance we saw grow during six to seven seasons. He wasn't the hero, second in command, courageous sharpshooter we all know.

And the sword ? Was it to foreshadow his future encounter with Alfor and Allura giving him blue markings ? Well, that was unnecessary. They could have done that without making people think that something more exciting would happen, that he would actually use the sword.

And the game show ? If they were to be together why the fuck didn't Lance chose her ? Why the fuck didn't she chose him ?... Well, she didn't because she didn't love him more than she loved the other Paladins. But why Lance didn't? Why make Lance and Keith chose each other? If they didn't want to involve them in any romantic kind of situation (they totally failed), they could at least have made them hug. And an emotional scene to express how much they care for each other to justify being worth choosing the other over anyone else to leave and not spend eternity in the game show. Keith was there for Lance and Lance was too obsessed with Allura to even ask about him. Great, even in a totally no homo friends kind of look it was badly handled.

Can someone explain to me the reason of the sunset setting ? Or why Lance freaked out when Veronica asked him to "put in a good word for her" with Keith ? They are friends, now, there was no allusion to their past rivalry. There was therefore no need for that kind of reaction.

He didn't save Shiro, for absolutely nothing. They never talked about it again. They never gave him the opportunity to make up for how bad he felt about that. He didn't event get a conversation with Shiro. They never gave a closure to Lance's arc.

Why do I feel like they did all that to make everyone pay for the shippers that made the toxic reputation of this fandom ? Why do I feel like the writers hate Lance ? Why do I feel like they totally baited us ?

The guy so in love with the idea of love ended up a lonely farmer. That's a great message for kids : don't even think that life will live up to your expectations no matter how hard you work for it. Don't even think that you can find any kind of fulfillment in your life, neither in love nor career.

I've never been in a fandom while a series was still going but I engaged in the Voltron fandom. I discovered it quite late but fell hard for it, it brought me so much happiness, so much hope ! I will never do it again because I'm not sure that the sadness and disappointment I feel right now are worth it. I will never be mad at the theorists and meta writers, they are good people who saw the extraordinary potential of Voltron, they probably feel worse to have spent so much time and energy picking up clues that definitely existed and only served to bait us.

In conclusion, everything Lance did this season was in a way or another related to Allura, as if he forgot he was someone of himself. As if the writers forgot who this character was. And it's painful.

At least there are still the beautiful fan art and fanfictions that really make him justice.

#voltron : legendary defender #season 8 was a disappointment #lance deserves better #allurance was so badly handled while it could have been so great #i just need to rant to be able to finally move on #i'm just sad right now #i will certainly drown my frustration in fanfictions #i'm still really grateful for the amazing people in this fandom though #this season contained good parts but didn't live up to the potential of the series