#(no one in konoha thinks this because anyone who's talked to minato for five minutes knows he loves his wife)

[mixelation]

WAIT WAIT WAIT someone is like 'pfft marrying their jinchurriki. obviously its political' and minato is like. you accuse me. of NOT LOVING MY WIFE? RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME? ILL HAVE YOU KNOW-

minato rips off his shirt to reveal a full chest tattoo that says I LOVE KUSHINA 5EVER

#i the context of #reborn au #kushina being a jinchuriki is a very well kept secret #but if we keep my headcanon that uzushio was attacked specifically because #people were afraid that minato getting the hat AND being married to kushina would mean uzushio would join the war on konoha's side #then yes i bet lots of people outside of konoha think it was a political marriage #(no one in konoha thinks this because anyone who's talked to minato for five minutes knows he loves his wife) #also yes i think minato could stand there and listen to people say insane and inaccurate and possibly cruel things about HIM all day #but you speak ill of his family?????? RIP u #idk obviously we want to make him 'break character' at ninjacon but i've been debating how #was considering a scenario where someone says something weird af to tori and he's like #'i can't believe he would say that to you IN FRONT OF ME' #like he's very aware weird dudes say inappropriate things to teen girls ok. he signs off on missions involving teenage girls with knives #taking advantage of that #but also he's been hokage for like a decade. usually people behave in front fo him????????

[fiction-queen-blog]

TheAmazingUchihaBruhs: Naruto’s Birthday Special (part 1)

A/N:I have been very busy, but I managed to fix something for Naruto’s birthday anyways. Enjoy

Case 18

The one thing I had been secretly enjoying these past three months, was annoying Naruto for being underaged. So, it is fair to say I have been quite the ass towards him when it came to activities that were technically illegal for minors.  I also did not pass the opportunity to shove it in his face. Every. Damn. Time.

But the day has come the minor is going to turn 18, and my teasing days have come to an end. It was only to be expected from Naruto to directly take the opportunity to invite me to come over during his the celebration.  He did make clear that he was going to shove the 18 candles on his cake somewhere the light won't shine.

Yeah, I was not underestimating what an ass I have been to him these past months.

Putting that aside, I wanted to get him something special for his birthday. Something he would not only like but love. However, I have no fucking idea what that thing would be.  So, I have to do some detective work.

Detective work being a different way of saying -> I am going to stalk him so I know exactly what he wants.

Oxoxox

Like every good detective movie. The very first thing you do, is clear the pin board and  put everything you already know about the case.

I looked at the yearbook picture of Naruto in the middle of the board. It was surrounded by the ' known'  facts. I was playing with the red marker while my eyes were fixated on the board.

Uzumaki Naruto. Recently started his bachelor in chemistry in the university of Konoha, lives with his mother, Uzumaki Kushina, and his father, Namikaze Minato. He plays tennis, goes to the gym, likes to go to bars, socialize, make friends, play video games. Suffers from ADHD and a nut allergy.

The last one I found out the hard way.

" Holy fucking shit! Shisui owes me money!"  

I turned my head to Izuna, who naturally walked  in my room without knocking.

" Get out" I threw a book towards him, but he dodged it.

" What? We have 34 bets. Which one?" Shisui stuck his head inside my room and looked at the pin board.

" It is not what is looks like!"  I was afraid they thought I was stalking Naruto.

"You did not win. He hasn't kidnapped Naruto yet. So, you haven't won yet!" Shisui looked serious.

" You guys think I am going to kidnap Naruto ?"  I did not expect anything better from my brothers.

"Are we wrong though?" Izuna pointed at the pin board. " You have made a graph of his sleeping pattern going from light-sleep to heavy-sleep"

"Dude, I thought you were bad at maths!"  Shisui walked towards the pin board to examine it.

"Can you ..like...stay away!"  I hissed, trying to cover the board with my body.  " He invited me to celebrate his birthday next week, and I need to figure out the perfect gift!"

"Why?" Izuna asked. " Because he got u that awesome sex toy, you don't wanna share"

" Disgusting..and disturbing.." I shook my head slowly.

"You know what would be a nice gift...A restraining order" Shisui high-fived Izuna.

"But really, you probably won't even see him Friday. Lots of people got invited-"

" Friday?"  I cocked my head, " he said Sunday"

"No, it is Friday. I am sure " Izuna grabbed his phone and after a few minutes he turned the screen towards me.

"But..He told me it was at his house...at noon" I scrolled through their chat.

" Ayyee...Now it got awkward..." Izuna looked at Shisui.

"He probably has his reasons, princess. Maybe he wants the two of you to celebrate together. Maybe he knows you are not into loud music, a big crowd and warm beer. You are probably-"

" That asshole! He is shutting me out!"  I clenched a fist.

" Yeah ! And he invited like..the entire university! If not the entire city".

" I think you are putting fuel on this fire, izuna" shisui sighed. " princess, just be straight with him. Text him and ask about the party on Friday. Maybe he made a mistake, maybe he has his reason-"

"Oh, I am going to get to the bottom of this!"

"Hell yeah! Go and catch him right in his fucking lie!"  

"I thought you and naruto were friends, Zuna"  

Their conversation between them went on.

I didn't pay attention though.

 I was determined to find out why the hell Naruto was shutting me out. Could it be...that there was some hotti in his class who is super smart and good in chemistry and maths that loves to work out and is like a 10 in bed!

Shit. No. That person would have everything I have not. Maybe Naruto already knows!  I have to find out who this bitch is...and kill them.

I pulled his picture from the pin board.

"Operation perfect present has changed. I am no longer interested in what he wants. I am interested in that slut's name he fucks around with and I am gonna make them disappear!"

I saw shisui and izuna share a look with one another.

"Uhmm...where did the ' slut'. Come from?" Shisui was the first one to ask.

" obviously it is the bitch in his class that he is totally into and thus is shoving me to the side!"

"That makes perfect sense! You're his plan b when it doesn't work out with that bitch!"  

At least izuna got it.

" you will not listen to my advice, will you?"

" no" Both izuna and I said at the same time.

" don't call me when you are in jail" he walked out of the room. Well, I did not need his negative energy anyway.

I grabbed my laptop.

“This is like playing detective! But instead of the finding the missing dango we are finding the bitch who is trying to steal your boyfriend"

" he is actually not my boyfriend....yet" I turned the screen of the laptop around for Izuna to see. " he has 200 classmates. It could be anyone of these fuckers!"  I put the laptop back on my lap.

"Oh damn...this seems like...a lot of work. Why don't we just..like..proof you are better than some random person in his class."

I looked up from the screen, over my glasses at my brother.

" Dude..I'm an 18 years old, below average, guy that has severe ptsd coupled with anxiety and on the verge of depression. My special skills are eating an entire bag of crisps and sarcasm"

" yeah..killing the bitch is easier" izuna admitted.

"Fuck, you would expect a bunch of future chemist to be a bunch of geeks..." I Muttered, googling every name.  " it could be any one of them"

"What is Naruto's type anyway?" Izuna looked over my shoulder. " dude, are you cracking into their personal emails?"

I turned my head to look at my brother.

"It depends...are you going to snitch on me?"

" When did you even learn-"

" I am a guy with some hidden skills....I knew some IT nerd back in the police force. I saw them do this all the time. That is how I know some tricks"

" dude...Why don’t you just crack Naruto's computer. See whom he has been in contact with from his class and all"

I stopped typing for a second.

" fuck me"

" I am a good partner"

" even better if you get me some coffee" I said.

" on it, partner!" Izuna jogged out of my room as I continued trying to get in Naruto's laptop.

" ha! I am in! Thank you weird IT chick that is always talked out loud" I smirked.

"Do I wanna know what is going on?"  

I did not look at the door opening, knowing it was Obito.

"Hacking Naruto's laptop to find some scumbag trying to steal something of mine"  

"I don't wanna know" Obito said, as he walked past the open door.

"Hey, I got the coffee. What do you have so far?" Izuna said, putting the mug down.

" so far...I know his background is a picture of a fox and he watches a lot of porn..like...a lot...like...fucking hell. There is gay porn here and lesbian porn and just straight porn. Apparently he does it between making homework too?"

" how long can this guy go?" Izuna grabbed my laptop and scrolled through it. " he is into some kinky shit..so it seems..."

"What else is there?"

"...Youtube..lot of youtube..FaceNet"

" FaceNet. Give me that" I grabbed my laptop back. "Ha! They have a class groupchat !”

" of 200 people?!"  

" nah...20...but he is in 6 of them...fair to assume he made friends with almost everyone" i scrolled through some of the chats, but got nothing.

"Hey, single chat, some chick named Mito" Izuna pointed out. I pressed it and frowned.

" He video chats with her"

" cam sex eh! Scumbags!"  Izuna said.

" it is suspicious, right?!" I shouted.

"He wrote a message..see the chat with his mom is back on top" izuna speculated.  I pressed it.

" Hey mom, I am with  Nana"

"Who the fuck is Nana!?"  I shouted.

" he has two side bitches! With you makes it the three side bitch! "

" but of course!"  Everything made so much sense now.

" she is typing!" Izuna pointed at the screen.

"Have fun, dear. Be safe " Izuna read outloud.

"K-kushina...But...i thought she liked me!" I grabbed izuna. " she is in the scam too...curse that family. What does she mean, be safe..WHO SAYS THAT!"

" Come..come...Sasuke...it is alright".

" it is not!"  I hissed, pushing izuna aside. " I am gonna track the gps on his phone and fucking confront him!"  

" you can do that?!"  

I raised an eyebrow when I turned my head.

" track my i-phone...dude...it is not hard..." i shook my head.

I wrote the address down and got up.

" bitch gonna get it. All of them!"  I reached in the drawer and grabbed my handgun, though izuna immediately grabbed it from me.

" you are right...I will beat them all! More satisfying"

"Maybe..And this is odd coming from me. You are just scared because you don’t see him as often as you used to. So,now you are thinking irrational?”

“You followed one psychology class. Back.The.Fuck.up!” I hissed

“I should not be a part of this. Without Shisui as my attorney I am not sure who else I can afford"

" whatever! I will go alone!"  I Grabbed my phone and walked out of my room.

" where are you going?" Shisui asked as he saw me pass by.

" fuck some fuckboy’s bitches over" I hissed.

"....Be safe..”

#narusasu #naruto #sasuke #happy 18th birthday naru-chan #better than nothing I guess #well can't help being busy #biomedical science struggles #hopefully I have time for an part 2 #should stop giving free therapy sessions xD #maybe then I would have actually more time for myself to e.g.write #inner me: if you stop drinking so much you would have time too #ok..u got me there.... #anyway enjoy. I will try to make next part better this is more like..just throwing it in here so u guys know #that Naruto's birthday has not been forgotten