#(like having to pay for them and get ahold of them when I'm 50 miles from a pharmacy)

[medicinemane]

.

#that by the way is why I'll never bother looking into if I'm autistic or have ADHD #there's... there's sure a lot of stuff there that sounds familiar #but like... what would I get with a diagnosis? #medical bias and potential discrimination from various groups and entities; same as everyone gets out of it (which is fucking bullshit) #what do I gain? #well... I'm not willing to take the deal with the devil of disability cause I've got a house and I'd like to be allowed to make money #what they'd offer me would help but not enough to compensate what I'd lose #and I have no intention of taking ADHD medication cause... I'm so fucking close to making stuff work #rather work on figuring out how to accommodate myself rather than deal with the hassle of medication #like my insomnia makes it so even antibiotics are a pain to deal with for a week #I don't want to deal with taking a med; especially when then I have side effects to deal with; not when I've almost got things worked out #this isn't anti medication; I'm all for people taking what helps them; I just don't think it would help me #as in; even if I have ADHD and these meds fit my biology perfectly I don't think they'd help more than the downsides they'd bring #(like having to pay for them and get ahold of them when I'm 50 miles from a pharmacy) #so no disability and no meds cause I turn both of those things down #...so... what benefit do I get from a diagnosis other than an existential one of getting to know? #far as I see it's nothing; and like... gotta accommodate myself either way; I can forgo closure in return for no dealing with bullshit #it's wrong that those diagnoses bring bullshit down on people; it's sick frankly #but it's also a fact and I don't need to deal with it #it won't get me any damn help; so I'm better off just continuing to slowly try and sort shit out myself