#(eh 'at this point' implies smth once did but that's wrong too. nothing ever helped at all! it's been over a decade since i started -

[daz4i]

i don't mean to alarm anyone but i think I'm genuinely losing my mind more and more each day

#like no longer in a ha ha funny way. I'm just losing my grasp on myself and feel fundamentally detached from life itself #it's not new it just hurts more now. i feel like an animal and not in a good way #maybe i need to change meds again. but. idk if there's even anything left i haven't tried yet ajsjftjgjh :/ #i am genuinely just... not meant to be alive... there is nothing in the world that can help me at this point #(eh 'at this point' implies smth once did but that's wrong too. nothing ever helped at all! it's been over a decade since i started - #- getting treatments for my mental illness! i think at this point it's just doomed. what's the use.) #i wish i wasn't so terrified of pain. i want to die. i want to try to kill myself. but I'm scared of not dying after i do. I'm so tired #I'm just so so tired of existing. I'm in so much pain. i wish i was never born #i hate my parents for bringing me into this world and i hate myself for not killing myself earlier #vent #suicide // #ask to tag #liveblogging my mental breakdown on tumblr dot com #sorry for being dramatic. everything is bad but my brain especially is