#( there's a lot that should be acknowledged / is left unaddressed about how loomis and the psycho-carceral system handled michael )

[haddonfled]

all   the   cracks   you   see   on   the   walls   of   this   place   were   carved   by   my   eyes.      i   have   been   looking   at   them   for   years   ––   fifteen   hourglasses   shattered   between   clenched   teeth.      no   use   counting   them.

𝚃𝙷𝙴  𝙿𝚁𝙾𝙱𝙻𝙴𝙼𝚂  𝚃𝙷𝙰𝚃  𝙴𝚇𝙸𝚂𝚃  𝙸𝙽  𝚂𝚄𝙲𝙷  𝙸𝙽𝚂𝚃𝙸𝚃𝚄𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝚂  𝚂𝙷𝙰𝙻𝙻  𝙽𝙾𝚃  𝙳𝙰𝙼𝙰𝙶𝙴  𝙷𝙸𝚂  𝙲𝙷𝙰𝙽𝙲𝙴𝚂  𝙾𝙵  𝚁𝙴𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙸𝙽𝙶  𝚃𝙾  𝚂𝙾𝙲𝙸𝙴𝚃𝚈  ...

before  there  was  evil,  there  was  the  criminalization  of  the  mentally  ill.    before  a  proper  trial  could  be  held  at  the  age  of  twenty-one,  there  was  punishment.    before  the  boogeyman,  there  was  a  boy  sentenced  to  living  death.    smith’s  grove:    where  patients  are,  first  and  foremost,  prisoners.

michael  was  not  treated;    he  was  subjected  to  a  regimen  of  psychiatric  control  meant  to  render  him  docile.    his  antisocial  tendencies  were  not  addressed  as  much  as  they  were  simply  repressed.    after  all,  loomis  never  intended  for  him  to  see  the  light  of  day.    why  socialize  an  animal  who  will  forever  be  chained  to  a  cage?    would  treatment  have  changed  anything  /  could  it  have  prevented  a  potentially  inevitable  outcome?    who  can  say.

programming  in  smith’s  grove  was  particularly  dismal  for  michael,  who  was  subjected  only  to  the  techniques  of  loomis.    loomis,  who  studied  him  rather  than  treated  him  /  loomis,  who  relied  too  heavily  on  the  use  of  psychotropics  to  keep  michael  in  a  state  of  pseudo-zombification.    so  he  adapted,  learned,  and  resisted.    loomis  was  not  afraid  of  him,  but  the  other  staff  were.    pills  went  missing  /  syringes  were  returned  to  locked  cabinets  as  full  as  when  they  left.    who  could  tell?    michael  embraced  his  living  catatonia  over  the  years,  patiently  biding  his  time  until  the  right  moment  to  strike.    he  became  comfortably  numb,  living  an  existence  in  which  he  was  incapacitated  ––  by  thorazine,  by  the  tomb  in  his  own  mind,  and  sometimes  by  both.    loomis  wanted  michael  to  lose  himself  in  order  to  keep  him  docile  …  and  lose  himself  he  did.    but  in  losing  himself,  he  only  grew  closer  to  the  evil  lurking  beneath  the  surface.    prison  does  not  make  people  better.    PRISON  MAKES  PEOPLE  WORSE.

...  𝙰𝚂  𝙰  𝙽𝙾𝚁𝙼𝙰𝙻,  𝙷𝙴𝙰𝙻𝚃𝙷𝚈,  𝙵𝚄𝙻𝙻𝚈  𝙵𝚄𝙽𝙲𝚃𝙸𝙾𝙽𝙰𝙻  𝙷𝚄𝙼𝙰𝙽  𝙱𝙴𝙸𝙽𝙶.

how   can   i   see   myself   when   i   am   always   with   me.      how   do   i   know   myself.      say   no   to   mirrors;      they   can   only   enumerate   me   or   make   me   one.      i   am   not   like   that.      i   am   not   myself   or   the   other.      i   am   in   no   state   at   all.

#( i have so much to say about the criminalization of the mentally ill actually ) #( but michael's a difficult case because he's also supernaturally aligned ) #( and that. makes him an unsuitable case study ) #( but all the same ) #( there's a lot that should be acknowledged / is left unaddressed about how loomis and the psycho-carceral system handled michael ) #[ 𝚂𝙴𝙻𝙵. eyes deep like blackness black like catastrophe catastrophic like silence. ] #[ 𝙳𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙻𝙾𝙿𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃. i was a child but now i am nothing. i am watching myself rot away. ] #( i reckon this'll be part of a series ) #( like im gonna write metas n shit in clusters that all tie back to an overarching theme ) #( and this round will be smith's grove ) #needles / #mental illness / #long / #institutionalization / #psychiatry / #ask to tag