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teyamsatan · 9 months

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My sweet bb Andra 💕 How are you doing love ? 💫

I have a juicy Request and I know you will make its justice 😩🤌🏻

So basically, we have Neteyam and Mate going out for a little time together at the lake, or pond whatever (deep enough 😏😳). Reader decides to draw Neteyam. So he poses for her and well she starts drawing and all. She is all concentrated looking at the paper for a moment and she feels something being thrown at her. She looks at him and well 🥴 We don't need any precisions here :3

Reader is all flustered and Neteyam is just smirking widely. Reader hasn't any time to react because we hear Jake's voice screaming Neteyam's name from afar. Oh ! Guess what ? Neteyam forgot. Yes. He forgot a training with his father (Pls let this poor guy rest a bit 🙂).

And Lo'ak (Otherwise it wouldn't be funny hehe)

Neteyam tries to grab his loincloth but reader is faster and throws it far into the bushes, with a smirk obv. So Neteyam has no choice to jump into the water (I know that Na'vi are less ashamed of nudity... Are they ? Anyways !)

So his brother and father get there, very fastly. Everything that happened before was like in 10 secs.

The rest I leave up to you 😏 We only need some funny dad-Neteyam and brother-Neteyam interactions when he just can't go out of the water, but he's very very late... Then we have Lo'ak that finally understands and just cannot stop laughing, making Jake more than less annoyed than he already was. And we have some intense playfull eye contacts with the reader. She's enjoying it haha.

Yeah... You can end it like you want 😂💖 My brain is a mess sometimes ugh 😥

Okay Imma stop 🙈🌸 I hope this inspired you and no pressure okay ? 🫂

Smooches 🥰

no cause this is so so funny and i hope you enjoyed bestie xx it feels good to be back writing for neteyam :((

pairing: neteyam x human!reader

wc: 1170 words

warnings: smut, fluff, minors do not interact 🔞

na'vi compendium: yawne - beloved, tewng - loincloth, tanhí - bioluminescent freckles

As a human on Pandora, there wasn't much for you to do, very little your body was inherently made for. You were slow and clumsy, a stark contrast to the Na'vi carrying you on his back like a little doll, all nimble and quiet as he treaded the deep shrubbery, his thumbs massaging your thighs as you rested your chin on his shoulder, humming contently in between peppering kisses to his neck.

As a human on Pandora, you were stuck in a lab most days, with filtered air and fluorescent lights, that did nothing for you, that had a rare talent of making even the most beautiful creature look ghastly and ashen, that gave you a headache, that made you miss the beautiful light peering through the uneven gaps created by the branches of the tall trees of the Omaticayan forest. Stuck as you were, you turned to artistic outlets for your boredom. You loved to draw, and you became very good in time, enough that the entire lab and some of the village were now covered in your landscapes and your portraits. The people loved you, and your talents, and often urged you to draw them or loved ones, as a way to immortalise a face or a moment forever in time, a priceless gift for them, and one that gave you a place amongst the Na'vi, even different, as you were.

As a human on Pandora, you didn't have a lot of choice of entertainment... or men. But you've never felt the lack... not when you had Neteyam. Your best friend, your confidant, he was always up for a challenge, and, let's just say, he always thought of you as one. In the few years since your 18th birthday, a rite of passage of sorts for humans, you were told, Neteyam made it his purpose to show you that you will never have to miss out on anything on Pandora, that he would make it his life's mission to... be there for you, in any and every way you needed, be it to be a shoulder to cry on, or a shoulder to rest your legs on as his head was in between your thighs, Neteyam was always there - ready to help, ready to serve.

You gulped as you reminisced about this morning, about the moans that escaped him as he was lapping at your folds like he was quenching an unquenchable thirst, like eating you out was for his own pleasure, and not your own, or the way he didn't stop until you were so overstimulated you were crying, something he made up for by showering you in soft kisses and quiet whispers of "you did so well for me, yawne. you always take me so well."

"You ok back there... friend?"

"Yes, Teyam. Just tired. Are we almost there yet?"

"Patience, love. You wanted more inspiration for your drawings, right? I told you I found just the place, and you're going love it, I promise. It's just a little further."

Well, he was right. The little meadow created by a small, clear pond, bustling with little fish swimming peacefully, drowned in warm sunlight, was the perfect backdrop for the painting you had in mind. With a small smirk, you pointed at the water and clicked your tongue at your much larger, beautiful, muscular friend.

"Get in, Teyam."

"Why?"

"I've wanted to draw you for a while, I just wanted the perfect background, and now I have it. Now go."

You chuckled to yourself as you heard a loud splashing noise, and settled on removing your pad and pens, placing them on the ground next to you as you thought about what positions would work best for what you had in mind. You gasped loudly when something soft hit you in the face, removing you from your less than innocent reveries - it seemed Neteyam was ahead of you, as you felt for the object that you removed from yourself and realised it was his loincloth. When you looked back at him, your mind shortcircuited at the sight of his naked body, glistening in the sun as the water dripped down every defined muscle, down his chest and abs, down his v-line, down his -

"You like what you see, yawne?"

Although it pained you, you raised your eyes until they met his beautiful features, tanhí shining brightly even in broad daylight, as they always did when he was overtly happy or amused, and by the wild, mischievous grin and crinkles by his eyes, it was a safe assumption he was both.

"I say you forget the painting for now, and come here so I can show you how... grateful I am you thought of me as your next subject."

It was a no-brainer to you, really, but when you heard a voice you knew all too well screaming, the noise echoing through the trees, heightening the sound, your body stilled in place.

"Neteyam! Are you there, boy?"

"Fuck! I forgot I was supposed to meet my dad for training."

"Quick, throw me the tewn-" you screeched as the instruction came too little too late, and in the heat of the moment and much to Neteyam's dismay, frightened by the quickly approaching steps of the Olo'eyktan, you threw the cloth in the opposing direction, somewhere in the bushes.

"Netey- ah, kid. What are you two doing here?"

You just looked at him, panicked, eyes flickering from him to Neteyam's younger brother, who looked at you suspiciously, eye narrowed as they assessed the situation at hand through a lens of youth and misdemeanour Jake couldn't really see, and you were glad.

"Cat got your tongue, kid?" The Sully patriarch's raised eyebrow did very little to will out of the catatonic state you found yourself in, so you remained quiet as he scoffed, turning his attention to his oldest son, instead.

"You were supposed to be in training at 1400 hours, remember?"

"Yes, sir."

"Come on, out. We need to be off and make up for it."

"I-I... can't."

"And why the hell not, boy?"

You felt Jake's eye roll deep in your soul, and you felt like you should take the blame for this since... you threw Neteyam's clothes away in fear, and everything. You should rectify this.

"Jake, I-"

"Oh, my Eywa! He's naked! He's so naked!"

Your mouth dropped in shock, but it was too late. The cat was indeed out of the bag, and as your and Neteyam's eyes met, listening to his dad's groans of disgust, you were a little relieved to see a hint of a smile on his face, the beautiful twinkle of amusement putting your mind at ease, letting you know it was all going to be ok. As long as you were together, and you had him, it was all going to be ok.

Reaching your hand behind your head to scratch the itchy spot at the base of your neck, you laughed awkwardly as you spoke:

"I'm... experimenting with some new artistic techniques?"

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

・❥・ Moth To A Flame

Pairings: Neteyam x Omaticaya!Reader

synopsis: you have an amazing, patient, caring boyfriend, but you still can't help being drawn to Neteyam like a moth to a flame

warnings: smut (p in v, fingering, creampie, soft!dom neteyam, marking), mentions of blood, cheating, strong language, minors do not interact 🔞

wc: 1.3k words

a/n: a little gift for @mightyneteyam x hope you enjoy, bestie!! Inspired by Moth To A Flame by the Weeknd. This made me feel all sorts of things, i wish i could share with the class but i'd probably get banned from tumblr

ps: i also think 'you right' by doja cat works so well with this oml

'Cause he seems like he's good for you

And he makes you feel like you should

But does he know you call me when he sleeps?

But does he know the pictures that you keep?

You don't know how this happened. You can't even remember how it started. The only thing you know is that, while hugging your incredibly patient, caring, beautiful boyfriend, you somehow once again found yourself eyeing Neteyam from across the room, once again getting lost in his predatory gaze and unruly smirk, that was reserved for you, once again giving him the small head signal that told him to meet you later, in your secret spot, that you frequented way too often, that you desperately wanted to be in right now, instead of here, at this celebration, where the music was too loud, and the people were too chatty, and your promised-mate was too sweet.

It ate at you - the guilt, each day and night. Enough to not do it as often as you probably wanted to, but not enough to stop. You knew it was wrong. You were promised to someone else. And he was the best person you've ever met, and he treated you so well, and he loved you and cherished you, and you loved him. You wanted him, but you needed Neteyam. Whereas your mate gave you stability and comfort, your quixotic affair with Neteyam gave you life, gave you thrill, gave you excitement, and you couldn't imagine ever being without it.

"I feel like you want to get caught, yawne." he says with a smirk as he rips off the top covering your breasts, as he immediately dives in and captures one of your hardened nipples in his mouth and sucks, until it hurts, until it bruises, until you moan. You shake your head weakly, mewling softly as two of his long digits slip past your folds, getting coated in your juices, as his thumb teases your clit, and all of a sudden he's a painter and an artist, and you're his muse and his canvas all in one, and you knew you would become a masterpiece by the time he was done, by the time you were done. This man knew you, every dark, twisted facet of your being, and he used it to his advantage, and you could never complain, because he used his advantage to yours, because at the end of the day, you were his muse and he was your creator, and you'd follow him into the pits of hell as long as he never stopped painting you.

His lips travelled from your breasts up your body, leaving a trail of spit in their warm, illusive wake, until they reached your neck, where he sank his teeth, where he marked you, and you couldn't find it in you to resist and protest, not when the rush of adrenaline travelled from the puncture wound all throughout your body, until it reached your core, until it sharpened and amplified the pleasure that was building in as his fingers slipped in and out of you with ease and grace, and you came, moaning loudly in his mouth as his tongue coated your own with a heady mix of blood and spit.

"Yes, you do, yawne. My scent is on you. In you. You let me mark you in bites and bruises, you let me come in you. You want him to find out, don't you? Want him to leave on his own so you don't have to do the hard work, huh?"

You shook your head again, fastening your legs around him as he raised you by your ass, your back against a tree, his length prodding at your sopping entrance almost playfully, teasing you with the promise of another mind-blowing orgasm. He reached down in order to align himself properly, and when he pushed in, you squealed, his tip enough to make you lose any insipid fragment of self-restraint, or of critical thought, or of thoughts of what or who you left behind at the party. Your hands find his shoulders in an attempt to gain some leverage, some control over the way you knew he would claim you, he would use you, but when that proved futile, your hands moved to his neck, bringing him closer to you, until you met in a sloppy, messy kiss, abound in flickering tongues and blood from sinking teeth finding pink lips, and the nature chirped in whistling tones and high-flown melodies, singing for you, or to hide you - either way, a welcome distraction.

When he bottoms out, you cry, and he kisses your tears away, and for a second, it doesn't feel wrong anymore, but feels like twin flame souls coming back together, where they planned on being for eternity, until the end of time. His pace is rough and calculated, each stroke brushing the spongy part of your walls that made you see glimmering stars, and you knew what you came here for was once more within your reach, so close you could taste it, just like you could taste him, his blood and your own amalgamated together on your lips.

“Just say you want me back. Just finally admit it and I’ll let you come on my cock next, how’s that sound?”

It was tempting, the confession that was barely contained within your soul, that you wanted to scream at the top of your lungs most days, that you bit back with a groan now, because you were happy with a better man... you should be happy with another man. But this man, this glorious, nefarious, beautiful man took all the available space in your mind, even now, after all this time, and you wanted him, and wanted to keep him. In moments like this, it didn't feel absurd or unattainable anymore - it felt real.

“Do you think he knows? Even subconsciously, do you think he knows deep down what a little slut you are? How much you ache for me, how much you like to get fucked until your knees shake and your mind quiets? How you give into me, how your back arches and your mouth falls open as I fill you with my cum? Do you think he understands to some level that no matter what you say, no matter what he thinks, you’ll always belong to me, and only me?”

The words were harsh and cruel to some, exciting and titilating to you, and so, so true. Your resolve was weakening with every thrust, with every vibration of his voice that you felt in every cell of your body, until it was depleted, in the same way you needed to be.

“Say it, sweet girl. Say it and I’ll let you come on my cock.”

“I’m yours. All yours.”

“That’s right. That’s a good girl. Come for me, baby. Let me hear your pretty moans, so I can fill you up.”

You do as you're told, and the masterpiece is final when the explosion of colours, intense and luminous, splatters on the canvas, when the cries and shakes turn into music put to paper, when your arching back is just the final ensemble of a sculpture carved in marble. You both pant as your legs fall limp around him, but he doesn't let go, keeping you close, his head in your chest, breathing you in, helping you off your high.

"I want you back. We're inevitable, you and me. Please, just take me back."

Your mind, now clear and finally able to rationalise, is torn between what you knew was good for you and who you saw at night, every time you closed your eyes. You wondered if you would ever be able to choose.

Or tell me, does he know where your heart lies?

Where it truly lies, right here with me, babe

Where it truly lies, my bed, babe

Where it truly lies, in my arms, babe

Where it truly lies

taglist: @fanboyluvr

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

I'm All About You | Neteyam x Human!Reader

requested: yes | no - from this request

synopsis: you are a young researcher who came to Pandora to study it, to understand it, but left the RDA as soon as you discovered the endless atrocities they instigated on the planet and the beings inhabiting it. And much like his mother, Neteyam can't help fall in love with a beautiful, brave alien.

wc: 1.4k words

warnings/notes: a wee bit angst, mostly fluff, idk how to write fluff

a/n: i got the origin of the reader idea from a fic i'm working for my own OC from the Cardigan series (coming to you soon, wink wink @uniltaron), and so if you think you've seen it before when you read that one no you didn't ;). anyway thank you for requesting and hope you enjoy x

Na'vi words used: tilor - beauty

"...And he feels like home

If the shoe fits, walk it in

Everywhere you go"

"In Na'vi culture, we say each person is born twice. The second time is when you earn your place among the people, after completing your Iknimaya and Uniltaron." Kiri's deep voice almost lulled you to sleep, as Tuk was carefully braiding your hair, a rite that took hours. In that time, you loved to learn as much as you could, and assimilate the culture that was so different and unknown to you, and yet felt so warm, like a ray of light peering through the clouds.

You and Neteyam met a few months ago. You were one of the new scientists brought on Pandora to study it, to provide the necessary knowledge in order for it become the new Earth, the new home for humanity. You were a young PhD student, who showed promise back on Earth in your advanced knowledge of techniques which would be useful to the team, but your background was entirely different, so you knew next to nothing about this new, beautiful planet. Unfortunately, you became more than a little disillusioned as the harsh reality of what the RDA was really like hit you in the face like a ton of bricks. It turns out with enough hush money and resources, it was easy enough for them to conceal the truth about what they were doing here and how they were doing it. How much murder, how much chaos, how much hurt they unleashed everywhere they went, how their palaces were made of bones stuck together by the blood of the natives and the beings of the planet.

You left as soon as you could, sneaking out in the middle of the night, praying you won't get eaten by a Thanator, hoping you could somehow run into one of the humans you now knew were still residing here, one of the members of Grace Augustin team's, the people you were previously told had died being attacked by the "savage, uncooperative" Omatikaya.

You didn't run into them, but you did run into a man. A Na'vi man that almost killed you, and would have probably been more than justified to do so, but decided otherwise when Woodsprites surrounded you, just like they had his dad some 20 years ago. He couldn’t - it was a sacred sign, and it felt like fate. Instead, he brought you back to the village. You were given a place in the clan and in the adjacent labs when you told Jake Sully, the Olo’eyktan and the most wanted man alive, the truth. He believed you, and the Tsahik believed Eywa’s signs. Since then, you have been learning as much as you could about the Na’vi and the Omatikaya, from anyone who was willing to help you. The Sully kids took a liking to you, and so did Norm and Max. But none of them quite like the oldest Sully - Neteyam.

Ever since your fateful first meeting, Neteyam has been drawn by your presence, so new and different, so intriguing to him. You were the first human he’s met since he was young, the only new human he’s seen that was good, that didn’t want to kill them or harm them or hurt their planet. You left and abandoned everything you knew, everything you thought would keep you safe in order to do the right thing, and Neteyam loved that. He couldn’t help the way his being gravitated to yours, and he couldn’t help falling in love with you. The scientists always said Neteyam was a carbon copy of his mother, and they laughed when they realised that was yet another way in which that was the case. A Na’vi warrior, strong and mighty, with a soft spot for a clumsy, unknowing, brave human.

“There, you’re all done. You’re so beautiful I could cry!” Tuk didn’t cry, but you almost did, as the small girl, who was the same height as you, always treated you so nicely, always welcomed you with open arms and an open heart.

“Do you want to see if Neteyam’s back from his hunt?” You nodded sheepishly, and took her hand in yours as Kiri guided you through the undulating paths of the village. Your Na’vi was getting better, you thought enthusiastically, as you could more easily pick out what some of the Na’vi women sitting in front of one of the tents were talking about animatedly.

“I can’t believe they let another demon walk among us. Her smell makes me want to throw up. You know they are saying the Olo’eyktan’s son will pick her as a mate? How is that even possible? It would be an abomination, like she is.”

Kiri’s eyes snapped in the direction of the offenders as soon as yours fell to the floor, blurred from the tears spilling on the wet ground like endless cascades. You felt yourself withdraw into your own body, as you always did when hurt got the better of you, and your hand slipped from Tuk’s as you turned on your heels and ran back into the tent you just exited, shutting the flap as well as you could, hoping this way, you could keep the people and the thoughts that plagued you out of your life, and your mind, forever.

It wasn’t long before a tall, blue form appeared in your tent, as Eclipse settled in the nature all around you. Neteyam sighed as he approached your body, huddled in a foetal position in the hammock that he slept in most nights, when he wasn’t in your room back in the lab. It might as well be your own hammock, to be honest, and if police were to dust for prints, you would definitely be the number one suspect in its ownership.

“Ma tìlor…” Without another word, he joined you in the hammock, and nestled you in his chest, his hands caressing the skin on your back and arms, the motion calming your nerves and ceasing the booming of your heart. His touch always had the power to do that, and you were grateful. Grateful for him, grateful to him.

“They hate me. The clan hates me.” Neteyam scoffed, rolling his eyes and kissing the top of your head affectionately. “Let them. Vanara, Hiwi and Rìt'e are mean girls, jealous, bitter girls. They have been after me and my brother since they were young, because they all want to be Tsa’hik, they all want the status that comes with being mated to the sons of the Olo’eyktan. You are silly if you think their word or opinion should matter.”

“It does matter, Neteyam! It matters because they’re not the only ones who think that way. The downside of learning Na’vi is that I can finally hear people’s opinion of me. I can finally understand what they say behind my back. And you know what’s the worst of it all? That they’re right!” You burst out crying once more, holding onto him like he was a life jacket in the middle of the ocean.

“Why are you here? Why would you ever want to be with me? Why would you ever ever consider choosing me as your mate? I’m nothing. I’m a human. I won’t be able to bond with you, I’m never going to be able to be born again as one of the people. I’m small and insignificant, and you are everything, and I just -“

You could barely see Neteyam through the now fogged up mask covering your face, but you felt him, his hand willing you to look up at him, his braids falling carelessly in front of his face, his heartbeat strong and rapid in his chest that you were snug against.

“You are someone who left the comfort of your home, everything you ever worked for, everything you thought you knew at the first sign of injustice. You are kind, and sensitive and empathetic to everyone around you. You are brave, and strong. You are capable and skilled, you are so intelligent, and so, so beautiful. Your eyes sparkle brighter than the star you came from, and your smile makes the sun feel dim and dull by comparison. You came to me like in a dream, like a gift from Eywa herself. That’s why I chose you. Because there’s no one else. Because, like my mother, I can’t seem to stay away from amazing, strange, lovable aliens.”

“Now, can we please go to the lab so I can take this mask off and kiss you?”

taglist: @fanboyluvr

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

So It Goes... | Jake Sully x Reader

Summary: You meet Jake Sully at a party thrown by your dad for his military friends, and your life is forever changed as a result.

Pairings: Jake Sully x Human!Reader

Word Count: 1.9k

Warnings/notes: just pure filth (18+, Minors DNI).

A/N: I had a dream about Jake Sully last night and this is the result, hahahah. I might turn this into a series if people like it x

You did a number on me But honestly, baby, who's counting?

You don’t know how you found yourself in this scenario again, getting fucked dumb by a man you swore you were done with just a couple hours before.

The noises coming out of your mouth were unholy, much like the way he was thrusting into you so hard, so deeply it was making you see stars. Over and over. Over and over.

“You like that, don’t you? You’re such a fucking slut for my cock.”

You were, you always have been, ever since you first laid your eyes on Jake Sully, you were his.

It was one of the nights your dad organised a get-together for his friends and colleagues, all military men, all 10 feet tall and so fucking hot and muscular, so forbidden, you were dripping in cum just at the thought of one of them drilling into you.

You put on some nice clothes for the occasion, your dad stressing the importance of this evening to you several times. A little black dress, hugging all of your curves in the best way, some black pumps and a simple necklace with a pearl pendant. Your long hair was flowing softly down your back, covering some of the bare skin on display. You were wearing natural makeup, except for the lips, painted red, your favourite colour. You made your way downstairs to the living room, where you could hear soft chattering from outside the door, and with a deep breath and a glass of champagne in your hands, you walked in.

You felt eyes on you as you moved towards your father, who was animatedly chatting to some of his colleagues. He smiled fondly at the sight of you, his only daughter, the jewel in the crown of his endless accomplishments.

“There she is. The best thing I have ever done.”

“I don’t know, dad, that car you built from scratch is pretty up there, if you ask me. I pale in comparison.”

All the men around him laughed, and you knew you have done your part for this particular dinner. You came in, you looked pretty and presentable, you made people laugh, all in the span of a few minutes. You were getting good at this.

You made the rounds, saying hello to all the people you have grown up seeing, knowing, making small talk with. They were nice men, most of them, and you felt comfortable in this situation, surrounded by them, knowing that you were safe in this house, in this life, that if anything were to ever happen to you, you have about 30 trained, powerful soldiers in your phone that would fuck up whoever wanted to mess with you.

Eventually, you reached a smaller group that was chatting softly, and your eyes immediately glued to one man, that you haven’t seen before. A little taller than the rest, you were barely reaching his ribs even in 5 inch heels, and your knees went weak taking him all in. He was gorgeous, the most gorgeous man you have ever seen; younger - younger than most people here, although that still made him probably twice your age. His hair was shoulder length and braided in small braids, one rogue braid in front of his face, and you felt the sudden urge to touch it, and then his face, his chest, his -

“So good to see you, kid. How is everything going?”

“Good, Frank. How about you? How’s the family? I heard Emily got into her dream University, that’s a big accomplishment!”

You felt eyes on you - you felt his eyes on you. There was heat everywhere in your body where his gaze fell, and you felt yourself cowering a little under its intensity. You couldn’t give less of a fuck about Emily and her upcoming trip, not when you were worried all of them will see a line of your arousal dripping down your leg with how wet you were for this man who is yet to speak a word in your direction.

“Have you met Jake? He’s a new transfer, best of us all if you ask me.”

You forced yourself to look up at him, and your lips parted with a small gasp when you saw how he was eyeing you. Like you were prey, like a meal he was dying to eat up. Fuck.

His hand was stretched out in front of you, expectantly, and you took it, shaking it once. He lingered, not letting you go for just a second longer - not long enough to be suspicious, but long enough that you noticed, that it mattered. There was ache in between your legs now, cunt throbbing painfully and desperate for attention. You have never reacted in this way, never had such a visceral reaction to anyone else you have ever met before. The way he was making you feel was so primal, so raw, you were panting in need and you knew then you had to have this man. Whatever it took, you had to have this man fuck you til you passed out.

“I thought they were all exaggerating when speaking of your beauty, but I now see it was an understatement. It’s nice to meet you…?”

“Y/N.”

His head tilted slightly to the sight, and with a small smirk, he said. “Nice to meet you, Y/N. I’m sure I will see you again sometime.” The way your name rolled off his tongue drove you mad. You needed to excuse yourself. Now.

You hurried to your bedroom on the upper floor of the house and closed the door. You didn’t even have it in you to remove your dress, the agony too much, too palpable to allow for such frivolous, pointless distractions. You pulled your lace panties down your legs and threw them carelessly to the side, and reached in your nightstand for your best friend in these kinds of circumstances. You lay on your back in your large, king-size bed and spread your legs, your fingers quickly finding your folds, that were so wet there was a small pool forming on the sheets, and you haven’t even started. You moaned at the contact, so turned on that you knew it was going to take very little to make you cum so hard your legs would be shaking. When you were ready, you directed the vibrator to the entrance of your pussy, sliding it in slowly, feeling every inch. You couldn’t help the moan that escaped, and you couldn’t help the image of the man you just met that was plaguing your mind, driving you to your release faster.

“Jake...” you moaned his name, trying to will him into existence, into you.

You came violently, legs shaking and feet curling, panting loudly at the powerful orgasm that enveloped you. It was the best orgasm you have had in a long time - that’s what this man was doing to you - just his image, just the thought of him.

“Well, I was going to at least buy you dinner first before I expected to see you cum moaning my name, but I'm definitely not complaining.”

Your eyes shot open and your body upright, vibrator still deep inside of you, and you were shocked to see him, just standing there, just looking at you, same smirk plastered on his face as earlier. Even with a clearer mind, you were still perplexed at his beauty, at his magnetic force just pulling you towards him and you found yourself forgetting about the horrendous situation you were currently in just to admire him a little longer.

“You like what you see?” He raised an eyebrow, smiling crudely at your fucked out form and your curious eyes.

“What are you doing here?”

“I just wanted to check in on you. You seemed… a little flustered at the party, and I was afraid you might be sick. I wouldn’t want you to get sick on my watch, that would be against my duty as your father's friend and colleague.”

He closed the door swiftly behind him, and made his away towards the bed. Towards you.

You recoiled, removing the vibrator quickly and pushing your knees together, bringing them to your chest.

“What do you think you are doing?”

“I told you, I just want to make sure you are ok.”

You wanted to tell him to go, but you couldn’t find your voice - not when he was stalking towards you the way he was, a hungry look in his eyes, not when you wanted him to devour you whole.

He placed his knee on the bed and gently grabbed both your ankles in one hand, pulling you towards him so easily, like you were a tiny doll. You were startled at his actions, but curious to see what he was going to do to you, so you said nothing and waited.

Once your feet reached the end of the bed, touching his knee, he spread your legs apart, and took you in, his mouth parted to accommodate for the deeper breaths he was taking looking at you.

“Look at this. All of this for me?” He trailed his hand up your leg and you shuddered at the contact, at the feel of his rough hands on your body, sending pulses of electrical current up and down your entire being. You felt yourself becoming wet yet again, and the anticipation rising in your stomach was making you dizzy. You closed your eyes and let yourself feel him, feel his touch, feel the way his hands reached your folds and tentatively stroked them, removing the slick liquid with two fingers and watching as it dragged when he touched them together and pulled them apart.

Your back was arched now, eyes tightly shut, silently pleading for more, for anything to help you release some of the tension in your lower abdomen.

“From the moment I saw you walking in that room, tight dress and those lips, those fucking lips, my cock got so hard I thought they would all be able to see, see what you did to me. I could smell you, smell your dripping cunt, and I knew you needed a good fucking, I knew you wanted it as much as I did. Isn’t that right, baby girl?”

You moaned at his words, so hot, so wrong, you almost came just hearing them. He pushes two fingers in your damp pussy, and the groan he releases when he feels you nearly sets you off, and you buck your hips wildly on his fingers. He pulls them out just as quickly, and when your eyes found his, he had a serious, dangerous expression on his face, which made you gulp audibly.

“I asked you a question.”

“Yes, yes...” you say panting, “that’s right.”

He pushes his fingers back in, starting a slow, torturous pace that drives you fucking crazy. “That’s right, what?”

“That’s right…sir.”

“Good girl.” He quickened his pace, not stopping until your undoing, which made your entire body convulse uncontrollably, cumming all over his long fingers.

“Fuck, you are so hot. God, I will ruin you, girl. And you will let me, you will beg me to.”

You knew then he was right. This man will ruin you, and you will watch, unable to do anything about it, but pray that when he’s done, there’s still something left of you to go on.

#༊*·˚ andra's works #◘ andra's oneshots/drabbles #jake sully #jake sully smut #jake sully fic #dilf jake sully #avatar smut #jake sully angst #avatar twow #avatar #avatar fanfic #jake x reader #jake smut #jake sully x reader #jake sully x yn #jake sully reader #avatar reader

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teyamsatan · 10 months

Text

riding dilf!jake sully (nsfw)

pairing: dilf!jake sully x female!reader

a/n: i fully blame @jakexneytiri for this and her post and the sangria i had in the airport that made me horny and tipsy while waiting for my gate. i wrote this in 15 minutes, so enjoy besties x

warning: smut below the cut (18+, minors dni!!!)

wc: 500 words

Jake’s lustrous, azure thighs were glowing in the dim lights provided by the flora surrounding you, tanhi brighter and bigger than what you were used to, due to the surge of slick continuously streaming from your soaked cunt and onto his skin. His fingers were bruising on your hips as they pushed you further onto him, almost to the point of pain, but at this point, how would you even tell the difference?

He was only half-paying attention to you, the other hand busying itself with a map and some documents, strategising for the next battle, the next stint, the next war. Once in a while, he would glance over at you, smirking at your fucked-out face, at the way your glossed over eyes were swimming with tears, frustration evident all over your features at the desperate way in which you wanted to be filled dumb with his cock and cum, but he wouldn’t have it - not until you were “ready”.

“Just one more, kid. One more and you can ride daddy, hm?” At the way he drops the papers from his hand as finds your hair, gently petting you, hand trailing your face until it reaches your jaw, two fingers slipping past your puffy lips and into your mouth, you whine, pushing your head back, feeling his thigh become even more slippery as you ground back on forth on it, feeling one more orgasm ready to crash into you and overwhelm you, drive you into a semi-comatose state from which only his cock, thick and heavy, could pull you from, and drive you further down, at the same time.

"That sound good, sweetheart? You want daddy's cock in you so badly, don't you?"

Another whine, another deep chuckle, and when he licks your tits and sucks on one of your sensitive nipples, hard and begging for attention, you come, giving him what he wants, the third orgasm, the holy trinity that would allow you to reach heaven at his hands, just the way you liked it. With a smirk, he sits back, watching you with a raised eyebrow, gaze flickering between your face and his tented loincloth.

"Go ahead, kid. It's all yours."

Like a starved man who's seeing a meal for what feels like the first time in his life, you pounce at the fabric, gulping audibly at the sight of his bubblegum pink tip leaking precum and at the promise of the sheer length and girth splitting you in half. You couldn't wait. You worked so hard for this, it's only fair you were rewarded.

His fingers find your hair once more, the domestic gesture driving you crazy while you sink onto him to the hilt, moaning louder with each inch. With a sly smile, he turns his attention back to his documents, settling in comfortably on the grass.

"That's it, honey. Daddy wants to see you fuck yourself on his cock, nice and slow, like the good little girl he knows you are."

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Pairings: Neteyam x (f)Avatar!Reader x Lo'ak

Word Count: 3.5k words

Warnings/notes: angst, mentions of death and mourning, cursing, mentions of smut

Synopsis: Neteyam's death leaves more than a few wounds behind, and you and Lo'ak must find a way to navigate the aftershocks together.

A/N: well, this hurt. i love this song, and as I was listening to it one day, this idea came to me, and so here it is. i would say enjoy besties, but i feel like that's just me rubbing salt in wound. as usual, can't wait to hear your thoughts and I appreciate every reblog, like, reply, follow etc. love you besties xx

I know you hear me when I cry, I try to hold it in the night

While you're sleepin' next to me, but it's your arms that I need this time

The tent was dead silent as you entered it, a tortured sigh and the sound of muffled sniffles you tried your best to stifle, the only thing that could be heard. You almost worried for Lo’ak as you made your way to your shared mat, as he was even more engulfed in deep slumber than he usually was, no snores or breaths discernible. You found yourself reaching for his mouth and nose just to check that he was indeed still alive, the sound of your own heartbeat deafening you, your palms already coated in an increasingly thick layer of sweat that you rubbed on your thighs, as the unpleasant thought burrowed through layers of your mind until it reached the front, until the flashbacks almost took over you.

When his breath coated your palm, you breathed a huge sigh of relief that woke your mate up, and the tears that didn’t even have time to dry from 20 minutes ago started pouring down your face again.

“Baby, what’s the matter?”

You didn’t know how to explain, and you knew you couldn’t even reasonably begin to try without telling him where you were, where you went every night after you were sure he was fast asleep.

“Nothing, just had a nightmare.”

Lo’ak sighed and opened his arms for you to fall into, and you did, clinging to him like he was your life support, and to be honest with yourself, at this moment in your life, he probably was.

“Another one, baby?”

You felt the hole in your heart bleeding inside your chest, pooling blood in the pit your felt in your stomach, where it’s been bleeding for months, where it wouldn’t stop, not until it filled you up and spilled around you.

“… yeah. Another one.”

Look at the cards that we've been dealt

If you were anybody else, probably wouldn't last a day

Every tear's a rain parade from hell

You loved Lo’ak. You had no words to describe how much Lo’ak meant to you, how much he has meant to you your whole life, ever since you were just a 5-fingered freak and a tiny human finding happiness and meaning in this life that seemed to clobber the both of you to the ground whenever it had the chance. You have been best friends since you were born, and you didn’t think that was ever going to change. You were grateful for him, and his presence in your life, that saved you, both literally and figuratively, multiple times throughout your 19 years of life. You were grateful for his heart, that sometimes felt like it was too big to reasonably ever fit inside his body, and his mind, that somehow never tired finding new ways to make you smile, and his own smile, that shone brighter to you right now than any star in the sky, than even the sun itself as it was engulfed by Polyphemus before Eclipse. You were grateful that he chose you as a mate, and grateful to know that, in light of everything, there was now no one else in the world you would rather embark on this life-long journey with, no one else who could even begin to understand the fucked-up mess that was your mind - partly because you and him shared in that, you shared the pain and the grief, and you were forced to navigate it together.

You felt sleep slowly engulfing you, and you knew the nightmares wouldn’t be far behind.

Though I wish he were here instead, don't want that living in your head

He just comes to visit me when I'm dreaming every now and then

Nightmares became not only expected, but almost desired in your life, as even in nightmares, even in the worst nightmares your mind could ever possibly conjure up, at least he was still there. He was there, here, in your life, and when you touched him, and you felt him, and you heard him, it felt real, it felt better than any reality. Even the nightmares where you relieved the worst day of your life, over and over, like a twisted comic joke, still brought you some sort of sick post-hoc comfort, until the morning came, or until the dream ends, and the arms that are wrapped around you aren’t the ones you need.

The ones you needed, you left behind just a little less than an hour before, and despite it just being a vision, a metaphysical experience that would never manifest itself in the real world anymore, his warmth still lingered on your skin, his scent still flooded your nostrils, his eyes were still ever-present in front of your own, even with them tightly shut. You could feel him, like he was still here, like he used to be when you were still you and he was still him, and he was still here and he was still yours.

“Yawne, I think we should do it. I think we should tell everyone, it’s time.” Your new blue body seemed to fit perfectly in Neteyam’s, a dream come true, it seemed, a gift from Eywa herself. To be able to be here, in this meadow, at this time, tall and supple and cerulean-skinned, without a mask to hinder you, with finally nothing in between you and the boy you’ve been in love with longer than you could remember. You received an Avatar as a present on your 18th birthday, and you’ve wanted nothing more than to spend every second of your new life with the person you could now freely be with, no biological, or physical barriers in the way, the person that occupied every thought in your mind and has explored every inch of your body, and it still didn’t feel enough. Never enough.

“Tell them what, Teyam?” Neteyam rolled his eyes, and you smiled at the way he knew you were just making him say it out loud, because you enjoyed how the words rolled off his tongue. He’s always had an accent speaking English, just like you did when speaking Na’vi, and you found it hotter than the pits of hell, which is where you felt like you were headed sometimes when you played these kinds of games with your beloved.

“Must you always do this?” You chuckled slightly against his chest, and you tried not to focus on how the intimacy and feeling his naked body against yours, powerful and muscular was making you slightly dizzy. You will never get enough of this, and you couldn’t believe you would never have to.

“You’re stuck with me now, you can’t reconsider after so many years, especially now that I have an Avatar.” He pulls your closer to him, which you thought was physically impossible, but he loved nothing more than to prove you wrong. The kiss on your forehead was so normal and habitual for him, for you both, and yet it didn’t stop the goosebumps travelling down your neck, or the butterflies in your stomach, or the scrambling of your thoughts.

“I wouldn’t want to reconsider, yawne. Which brings me back to what I was saying.” You sighed, allowing yourself the chance to clear your mind of the bad feelings plaguing you, of the unshakable perspective that this wouldn’t go down well, or be accepted, or even tolerated in the clan.

You were a Sky Person, an alien. Even though you grew up with the Na’vi, that simple fact, unmovable and completely beyond your control, never changed. And even now, even in this body, the stares never stopped, and neither did the incessant chatter, about how you were still a demon, still wrong, still not fit to be around the Olo’eyktan’s children. Neytiri and Mo’at warmed up to you in time, but you knew that it was not nearly enough to matter, not enough for them to willingly accept you as Tsa’hik, which is what Neteyam wanted to make you by announcing it to everyone.

A tender, slender finger on your chin and the slightest pressure lifting you face to meet his pulled you out of your reverie and his warm smile and intense gaze drowned out any fear immediately. It was a gift of his - and a curse for you, because you could very rarely think rationally when he looked at you like that.

“I want to tell them. I’ve loved you for what feels like my whole life. And now I get this gift, this incredible gift, and I get to know that you will be mine forever, that we can mate before Eywa, that I get to feel tsaheylu with the only woman I’ve ever wanted to feel it with.”

It felt surreal to you, almost like a dream, this love. This love that felt so good, that was almost too good to be true, and you wondered sometimes, fear overtaking your mind, as it always did, what would be the price you’d have to pay to balance it out. He always told you that - that nature has a balance, that life has a balance. That Eywa makes sure to reinforce that balance. Well, you were so happy, it felt like the world was pink and fluffy and weightless, and it was yours to take and he was yours to love and nothing else mattered, as long you had him. So what would be the price to pay?

“I want to do this right, my love. I want to prove myself to your family, to your mother and to the Tsa’hik. I want to learn, I want to earn my place among the people. I want to take my Iknimaya. Once I do, we can tell them, and you can do whatever you want to me, and that’s a lifelong promise, Neteyam.”

Neteyam. Neteyam. Neteyam.

Baby, you do it so well

You been so understanding, you been so good

And I'm puttin' you through more than one ever should

And I'm hating myself 'cause you don't want to

Admit that it hurts you

“Wake up, baby… come on.” Lo’ak’s voice drowned out the wails you didn’t even realise you were letting out until it was too late to stop them, too late to pretend they were anything else but what they were.

“It’s me, ok? You’re alright. You’re safe.”

“Lo’ak…”

You loved Lo’ak. So much. And the hatred you felt for yourself every time he had to pull you out of a nightmare about his brother, every time you found yourself wishing it was him instead, every time you wondered how your life would have turned out if Neteyam never left you, it ate at your soul, gnawing at the already bleeding edges of the hole in your chest. He deserved better, you know he did. And yet he stayed, and he loved you, because despite everything, you both knew there was no one else, not for either of you. The trauma bonded you, it made sure you were made for each other, like two pieces of a messed up puzzle.

As ironic as that sounds, maybe that’s why you never mated before Eywa. Because of the past, and the trauma, because in truth, despite not saying it out loud, it scared the shit out of both of you. Because you both knew deep down that there are things you can’t recover from and some truths better left unspoken, and feeling each other’s emotions and desires, your deepest fears and fantasies, at least right now, would be the one step too many, one step in the wrong direction, one step off a cliff.

“You went to see him, didn’t you?” You felt heat rise in your cheeks at being caught red-handed. All you managed was a meek nod.

“You always have nightmares when you see him.” There was a heavy silence that enveloped the room, but eventually, Lo’ak sighed and continued. “…How is he?”

It was your turn to sigh.

“He’s good. He’s… Neteyam. He misses you. He talks about you all the time, wonders why he hasn’t seen you in a while.”

Lo’ak’s frown was visible even under the cover of darkness, and you knew you should drop it, but you couldn’t - not when you knew he’d regret it, he’d hate himself even more than he already does if he doesn’t find a way to be there for his brother, to see him, to allow himself a way to move on from the guilt that plagues him everyday.

“I will. Just been busy with training, with strategising meetings, with my dad. But I will.” You didn’t tell him how you knew he was lying since you saw Jake there almost every time you went, and even if you didn’t, Neteyam told you about how often his dad came by and all the little chats they have.

“Ok. You know best. I just think you should go before it’s too late.” Lo’ak scoffed, annoyed with you as he rose, legs crossed in front of him, a hard expression on his face.

“Too late for what?! It’s already too fucking late.”

“Too late to say you’re sorry.”

The flickers of light peering through the weaves of your tent reflected in his eyes as the tears flooded them, and you felt so sad for Lo’ak, and so sad for yourself, so sad for all the pain that didn't seem like it would ever be healed.

“He doesn’t fucking remember anything anyway. How am I supposed to apologise to him if he doesn’t even remember what happened? What’s even the point of it all?”

His tears hit your skin as he shook his head and let them out, and you reached for his face, brushing what was left of them with your thumb.

“You could still apologise. Not because he would remember, but because you need to. Because the guilt will kill you if you don’t. Because he’s your brother, and he loves you, and he misses you. Because you miss him too. Because this way, the last memory you have of him doesn’t have to haunt you forever.”

“It should haunt me forever. I ruined everything. His life, my family’s life… your life. I’m not an idiot. I know you loved him, and he loved you. I know if you had a choice, it would have been him.”

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again over him,

I know that it breaks your heart when I cry again intead of ghostin' him

Lo'ak's words shocked you. You never got the chance to tell his family, or the clan, in the end. You never got the chance to make him yours, and he never got the chance to feel the mating bond, the one thing he wanted to so badly. He never got the chance to be a father to your children, the way you used to dream about together, he never got the chance to raise a family with all the lessons he had learnt from his own parents growing up. He would never enter your bedroom again, banging his head against the frame of the door that was way too tiny for his 9 foot tall body, smiling as he always did when he spotted you reading by the foot of the bed. You would never get the chance to teach him a new English slang you learnt from a show, or play him a song you learnt on guitar, or allow him to rest his head on your lap, watching as his tail moved erratically in a display of pure, incandescent happiness. Your Iknimaya came and went, and he wasn’t there to witness it, or cheer you on, and you would never get to fly together on your ikran, never get the chance to share so many moments you reserved just for him, that you now had to live without, that you now had to wish away into the ether, and let it go, alongside your dreams and hopes, alongside the future you always wanted and you will never be able to have.

All you had were glimpses, flashes of light in the dark, whenever you saw him in visions the tree blessed you with, where he was still there, and he was still him and you were still you, where you still had him and your life was still alright, if only for a little while.

“I can’t wait for your ceremony, you know?” Your back was flush against his chest, and you loved the warmth that irradiated off of it. it felt so real, just like it used to when it was real. He has always been your own personal sun, something you made sure to tell him as often as you could, and you couldn’t help wonder if this is why your body’s been cold since he left. Like the actual sun could never achieve what he did, like no other body could, like nothing could. You hummed mindlessly, allowing the breeze to touch your skin, just like his kisses up and down your neck did. In here, he didn’t know that he died. He would never know. In here, everything was all right, everything was serene and calm, everything was just the way it should be. The last time he visited the tree was a happy time, and you were so happy that was the last thing he remembers, the last thing he always would. He would never had to know the pain of death again, and knowing his smile would be forever captured in here, just like his spirit that was evergreen and so, so beautiful was, it was the only thing that allowed you to go on. As long as he was alright, and he was happy, you could still sleep at night.

“Is it just because we finally get to have sex in front of the Tree of Souls or…?” You said with a chuckle and his lips detached from your neck, and you could just about picture his frown, just about picture the roll of his eyes and the little pout he always had on whenever you said something that was so widely outrageous in his mind.

“Yawne…”

“I’m kidding, jeez! I can’t wait either. I can’t wait to be yours forever.” At least in here, you could always pretend. In here, you could, for a little while, entertain a fantasy, allow it to pass through you, allow yourself the happiness you’ll never know again. He tightened his grip on you and you felt his breath on your hair and a small kiss at the top of your head.

“You’re already mine forever. You’ll always be mine, and I’ll always be yours.”

You couldn’t stop the tears that rolled down your cheeks on onto his arms, or the words that followed. “I’ll always be yours, and you’ll always be mine.”

We'll get through this, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with a whole lot of baggage

But I love you, we'll get past this, I'm a girl with a whole lot of baggage

It was your turn to console Lo’ak as he was crying with his head in his hands, and knowing the pain he must be going through, the pain in which you shared, it struck a chord in you that seemed to wake you up a little, that allowed you out of your constant dreams and nightmares, of your visions and forsaken desires and focus on him, and watch him, and see him.

“I know this isn’t what you wanted, ok? I know that it’s not your ideal scenario and I’m sorry. I’m more sorry than you’ll ever know that it’s my fault you and Neteyam will never get to be together. It kills me, the pain and the guilt, it eats at me every day and I -“ you shut him up with a kiss, that felt warm and needed, that promised to at least try to mend some wounds in your soul.

“Stop. You know it’s not your fault. And if you don’t, then that’s why I’m here. To show you. And reassure you that I love you, and that Neteyam loved you, and neither of us would ever blame you. I’m here to keep you sane, just like you’re here to keep me sane. And it’s fucked up, and it’s weird sometimes and the guilt I feel is just as strong as the one you feel, but we’ll make this work. Because I love you. Ok?”

You loved Lo’ak. And you knew he loved you, too. And while it wasn’t how you imaged your life to turn out, you knew your happiness had always been Neteyam’s priority. And at least for him, you’d try to find at least the shadow of it again, and you knew the best place to look for it was in your new mate’s light.

taglist: @fanboyluvr

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teyamsatan · 8 months

Note

part two of the miguel drabble pls i'm begging???

bestie i'm working on it xx i have a little written but I have to focus on my really big examination that's coming up on tuesday, and after that i'll be writing to my heart's (and yours, i hope) content. but here's a little sneak peak x

The vibrating purr reverberating in the room and through his body until it shook him to his core was unmistakable as he slipped past your bedroom window, quiet as the dead of night. Just as unmistakable were the soft, whimpered moans that escaped your plump, parted lips, on which Miguel can see traces of saliva and cum as they stained you, glossy as your favourite cherry-flavoured lip oil. Fuck.

“Ay, muñeca… if only I knew how needy and desperate you’d be without me, I would have never left.”

“Mi-miguel!”

There was fumbling, followed by a deep silence that unsettled Miguel. Your eyes, beads of light and love, shone brightly and cut through the darkness that enveloped you both, and he felt his heart stir and his cock twitch in response. You were so beautiful. So innocent, so good… so pure. Nothing like him. He felt guilty at having come back, guilty at once more putting the universe, all the universes in danger just for his own selfish needs, but the grip you had on him, the earth-shattering, unmoving, all-consuming grip felt like enough to risk it all. Especially right now.

“Missed me, doll?”

#༊*·˚ andra's works #my asks 💕#◘ andra's oneshots/drabbles #𖨆♡𖨆 andra's anonnies #miguel o'hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderverse #miguel spiderman #miguel x reader #miguel x you #spider man 2099 #spiderman atsv #miguel o'hara smut #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #miguel o'hara fanfiction #miguel o'hara x y/n

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Illicit Affairs | Oneshot: If This Was a Movie

Pairing: Neteyam x Human/Avatar!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: When Tuk forces you to sing a song you used to sing in the year Neteyam left you, both of you have to suffer through the memories that flood in uninvited.

Warnings: some angst, fluff, a lot of feels, Neteyam x Reader being the absolute cutest 24/7, like my heart can't deal honestly

Word Count: 5,7k words

A/N: So I am dutifully writing the last (two?? maybe? maybe not?) chapters of The Archer, but I have been obsessed with exploring more of the relationship we never got to see before the beginning of Illicit Affairs. I always imagine them having the best friendship/situationship that was so meaningful and deep, which is why it hurts so much more when he left. The memories aren't in any sequential order, they happen throughout the years. Also this would be somewhere in between Chapter V and VI of Illicit Affairs. As soon as I heard this song, I knew I HAD to write something like this. I didn't think it would be so involved, but I really like the way it turned out. And I hope while you wait for the last chapter of the archer and recover from Epiphany, you will enjoy this insight into their relationship x

I would highly recommend playing the song while reading, and you can find it in my Illicit Affair Spotify playlist xx

↳ *Spotify playlist* ༉‧₊˚✧

“Come onnnn!!!” Tuk’s squeeky voice was unyielding, no matter how many protests escaped your lips.

“Please, sing that song! You used to sing it a lot back in the day, when I used to come by the lab. Pleaseee?”

“I will sing, Tuk-tuk, just not that song, alright?”

“No, but it has to be that song! It’s my favourite song! I don’t think mummy and daddy heard it, or Neteyam!”

There was a reason for that. The song that Tuk wanted you to sing haunted you. It was a song you sang like a litany, hoping that if you sang it enough, it will come true. Like if you sang it enough, he would do the things the song said, that you wouldn’t be alone anymore. There were so many memories, so many painful thoughts associated with that song, and the thought of being vulnerable around Neteyam, after he just came back into your life abruptly, after telling you you shouldn’t take the Avatar, after treating you like the lifetime of shared moments was gone in the wind, was close to unbearable. He didn’t deserve it, didn’t deserve hearing how much you suffered, didn’t deserve to hear what he put you through, not in the way he left, not in the way he ended it. But still, he gave you this guitar. Outside of a couple of horrible birthdays, he still was undefeated in gift giving, still knew how to make you melt into a puddle on the floor.

With a deep sigh, you tuned the guitar in your lap and started playing, unable to look at anyone or anything other than the way your fingers were pressing on the chords, how the skin moulded around them. You focused on the pain your Avatar fingers felt, fingers not yet accustomed, not yet calloused enough to play the way you do in your other body. The ache was bliss compared to the one you felt in your heart, hearing the all-too-familiar sound, feeling all the memories flooding in. Little did you know, taking in the painful lyrics, Neteyam’s own memories weren’t far behind.

Last night I heard my own heart beating

Sounded like footsteps on my stairs

Six months gone and I'm still reaching

Even though I know you're not there

You looked at Lo’ak out of the corner of your eye, trying to keep your focus on the cells in front you and not on the boy who looked like guilt was eating at him. You hoped guilt made a meal out of him and left nothing but the bones. You haven’t seen Lo’ak in a while. In fact, you haven’t seen him since your birthday. It’s been a couple of months now, and to be honest, you were going through it. Neteyam leaving, and everything he took with him when he did, left you in pieces. So many pieces, each one sharper than the last, each digging into you, each bleeding you dry from the inside out. You felt the betrayal deep in you, in every corner of your soul, poisoning your blood, much like all the pills you needed to make it through the night.

You wanted to ask, you needed to ask.

Where is he? Why did he leave? Why didn’t he say goodbye? Was there someone else? Did he finally decide it was time to outgrow you? Did he realise finally there was no future?

Nothing came out. Your pride didn’t allow you to ask. If he didn’t care enough to say it, you wouldn’t care enough to entertain another thought of him, at least out loud.

The silence was thick and awkward. You both knew what you were thinking about, you both knew the enormous, Na’vi-sized elephant in the room staring you down, waiting to be addressed, but you didn’t talk, just waited for him as you were working dutifully on your experiments.

“I’m sorry it’s been so long since I’ve been here. It’s been crazy with training and everything else, dad’s having us train from sunrise ’til sundown every day, like we’re little robots. You know I would have come sooner if I could.”

You turned around from your hood, and gave him a look he knew too well, a look he knew meant he was lying, lying through his teeth and you knew it. You always knew. He cringed and refused to look at you, deciding a random spot on the floor is probably safer. There was no point in torturing him. You were angry, but in truth, not with him. Because you knew if it was his choice, he would be here instead of training anyway. And if he did stay away, either it wasn’t his choice or it was, which meant he felt too bad to come and face you. No matter which, Lo’ak came out of this looking pretty good, unlike his brother.

“So I learnt a few more songs. And I watched a couple of movies I think you would really enjoy, so whenever you have the time, we can put them in the hub and watch them together. You bring food, I’ll make stale popcorn that’s probably been expired for years, it’ll be a great time. What do you say?”

You watched Lo’ak’s eyes shoot up to yours, and when he met your smile, his own dazzled you. He was so beautiful - a mini Jake for sure, resemblance more striking by the day. He looked so relieved, like a huge weight just got lifted from his shoulders and therein lay the proof that he would never stay away from you unless something horrible was eating at him, like second-hand guilt for his brother’s actions and mistakes.

You chatted for hours, and it took very little for it to go back to how it was. You talked about everything under the sun except one thing, the one thing you wanted to talk about the most. You were so alone, you realised. You had no one to talk to. You had to go through this completely on your own. No matter whatever happened in your life, however fucked up, you always had someone… you always had him. You didn’t anymore, and you didn’t have Kiri or Lo’ak either - you would never put them through having to listen about your problems with their brother. You were all alone.

Eventually, it was time for him to go. And the closer to the door you got, the more your own desperation clawed at you, the more your mind twisted in agony. Just ask. Just ask. Just ask anything.

“See you soon, Angel. Promise it won’t be this long ever again.”

You gave him a small smile, biting the inside of your lips until blood came out, hoping this way the words won’t. As he closed the door, your impulses overcame your will.

“Hey… Lo’ak?” You looked at him, a mix of emotions swirling in your brain, but grief won this battle - and the war, it seemed.

“Is he….” Fuck. “Is he ok?” Tears were swimming in your eyes, making your vision blurry. “Is he safe?”

Lo’ak looked at you pitifully, and you hated it. Hated him, hated Neteyam for putting you through this, for making you so sad it was pitiful to others. He fiddled with the door, moving it inches forward and backwards, trying to release some of the tension that now filled the room.

“He’s alright, Angel. Just busy. Training and all, you know how it is.”

You removed the tears dropping furiously down your cheeks with the thick material of your lab coat, and nodded softly. You got up from where you stood and told him to follow you to an adjacent lab, one with medical supplies in it. You pulled out a tube and put it gently in Lo’ak’s hand.

“This is called Lidocaine. It’s numbing cream. He has sensitive skin and doesn’t do well with Mo’at remedies, they always sting him. I always use it… I used to use it on him when he came by with wounds from training or hunting.”

The tears didn’t stop, no matter how badly you were trying to will them away, and your heart ached, ached with sadness and love lost, with missing your best friend, your soul mate, your twin flame, the boy you loved.

“Just… just give it to Mo’at. Or to Kiri, she has gentler hands. Tell her a light layer after the wound is clean is enough. She just needs to wait about 30 minutes before she does anything else, for the cream to work.”

Lo’ak kneeled next to you and took you in his arms, and you broke down as you wrapped your arms around his neck.

“I’m sorry, Angel.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

I was playing back a thousand memories, baby

Thinking 'bout everything we've been through

Maybe I've been going back too much lately

When time stood still and I had you

Neteyam struggled to fall asleep, like he did every night for the last couple of months. And he can lie to himself and say it’s because training has been particularly stressful recently, or it’s because his wounds, that haven’t been healed in the way he’s used to, hurt him and drove him crazy because of how itchy and uncomfortable they are, or because his parents have been dropping hints about him having to find a mate, and to be fair to himself, all of those are definitely part of the problem. But he knows that the real problem, the only problem, is that he can’t sleep without you. Neteyam’s body is so used to yours, to the smell and feel of your room, to that small bed that he somehow got so used to in time, being so stretched out in his tent felt ironically confining to him. His heart tugged painfully in his chest at the thought of you, that never truly left him, that made his mind wander and his body tremble, all day, every day. He was a mess in training, his dad was unhappy with him constantly, although Neteyam knows the Olo’eyktan was definitely going easy on him. He wonders how long it was going to last, this preferential treatment, the way even Lo’ak was being less of a dick than he normally was. How long did they expect him to be heartbroken, what was the amount of time they thought it would take for him to overcome this unconquerable grief. Whatever it was, they would barely be scratching the surface. He tossed and turned for hours, not being able to stop the torturous memories coming back to haunt him every night, like clockwork.

Neteyam has always been a light sleeper, always. He thinks it’s a Na’vi thing, their bodies and minds a lot more attuned to the world around them, a lot more aware of any tiny sounds, any movement. It helped their senses were a million times better than a human’s, but anyway, long story short - Neteyam was a light sleeper. Usually. Not tonight, though, as he has to be shaken awake by you, so deep in his slumber you almost had to shout him awake. He only ever slept this deeply here, in this room, with you.

“Neteyam!”

He wakes up in a panic, heart thumping and adrenaline rushing, looking around for any signs of danger. There were none, obviously, unless he considers that horrible little artificial light coming from your lamp, making him almost dizzy with how bright and unnatural it was, a danger.

You laugh at him, placing a hand on his back and one on his arm and comforting him back to a normal heart rate. It was crazy to him, almost unspeakable, what your touch did to him. Your whole life but particularly recently, your touch had power to both instantly calm him and set his skin on fire simultaneously. He didn’t think anyone would be able to hold such power, but you did. You did.

“Neteyam…”

“I’m really cold.”

Neteyam’s breath stopped and he gulped loudly. Even in all the time he has been coming here at nights, you were always separated by a blanket. You would always fall asleep before him with your head rested comfortably in your pillow, almost overcome by your blankets, that you pushed up so far, only your eyes were ever truly visible. You were cold a lot, which Neteyam didn’t really get. He couldn’t remember the last time he was cold. You said before this is yet another difference between your species. The Na’vi had higher core temperature, much higher, so they didn’t feel cold in the same way.

This is fine. I mean, the Na’vi always sleep huddled up, it’s not uncommon for them to hold each other to sleep for warmth. This is fine, it’s normal. He tried his best to stop his heart that felt like it was about to gallop out of his chest, and moved a little from his spot so you can open the blanket for him.

He got under it, and plopped himself on his side, holding the blanket up so you can join him.

“Come here.” You turned off the light, which Neteyam really appreciated, and he watched as you made your way to him, back turned until it hit his chest, until your body was flush against his own.

“Shit. You’re freezing.”

His arms found your body, as he stretched one for you to rest your head against, and the other one encircled your abdomen, pulling you closer. Neteyam could feel you, feel your chest rising and falling with every seemingly laboured breath, feel your heartbeat that he realised matched his in speed and intensity, feel the thin layer of sweat that enveloped you suddenly.

There was silence in the room, deep silence, that while normally very comfortable, felt awkward, like there were words that needed to be said, feelings that needed to be addressed. You both laid like that for a while, the stillness almost unbearable, but, much to Neteyam’s surprise, you eventually turned around, facing him. He could see your wide eyes in the dark, sparkling with an almost iridescent glow, mouth slightly parted to accommodate the deeper breaths you were taking.

You nuzzled your head in his chest, breathing in and breathing out, in and out, until you spoke softly, barely a whisper.

“Thank you.”

“Always.”

You fell asleep quickly after that, head on his chest, but he couldn’t. Not anymore, not when he realised that the love he’s always felt for you, the love he thought was familial, like you were his blood, was not at all like he envisioned. When he realised what he’s felt all this time was a different kind of love, a deeper love, deeper than any ocean, deeper than any trench, deeper than he ever thought it was possible to ever feel, ever experience in this life. Your breath was rhythmic and peaceful now, and whilst it was helping settle him down a little, it was not enough, not to be able to sleep, not without a million thoughts dawdling in his mind. What did this mean? What was he going to do?

“Neteyam…”

He was pulled out of his chaotic musings by your soft voice, wondering how he missed it that you were awake. Another shock to the system pulsated through him when he realised that you weren’t awake, you were indeed still fast asleep… and you were saying his name. His name. It wasn’t that that shocked Neteyam, you’ve said his name in your sleep before… it was how you said it. You said it how he felt. You said it with… love. With need, withyearning.

“Neteyam…”

I know, Neteyam thought. Me too.

What was he going to do?

Come back, come back, come back to me like

You would, you would if this was a movie

Stand in the rain outside 'til I came out

You’ve always been a little different than any human he’s ever met before. It made sense, Neteyam thought, seeing as you grew up here, on Pandora, with them, and not with your own kind, in your own world, so different to this one. But it took a while for Neteyam to adjust to the humans he would always see in the movies, hear in songs, have you read about in books, the humans scientists that chose to stay, and you.

One of the biggest differences, one that Neteyam struggled a lot with, is the clothes. When you were young, you used to wear Na’vi clothes, as there were no clothes on Pandora small enough for you, and his mother always made sure you had little loincloths and beaded tops, just like Tuk had, and Kiri before her. Neteyam loved seeing you dressed in those wears, it made him feel like you have always been just a part of them, regardless how different yours bodies were. But as you got older and your body changed, as you started working in the labs, and staying mostly indoors, you ditched the Na’vi clothes for human ones. T-shirts and trousers, shirts and hoodies, socks and shoes. Your body became mostly covered, just like he was used to seeing in other humans, just like it was normal, and in time, Neteyam got accustomed to you like that. The most you ever uncovered was maybe your legs when you wore shorts or your arms when you wore a T-shirt. Once or twice he saw your bare midriff as you wore something you called a cropped top. But that was it.

So Neteyam was a little… well, more than a little disheveled and… flabbergasted when you came out of the big lab complex wearing… pretty much nothing. It wasn’t nothing, it was once again some Na’vi clothes Kiri gifted you, but to him, it was nothing. He didn’t know what was wrong with him. Spider wears the exact same things all the time, less, if he thinks about it. And Na’vi women wear these things every day, it’s the only thing he knows, so why is this so strange to him?

He watched as you skipped down the stairs and made your way to him, a small bashful smile on your face. You brought your fingers to your forehead and greeted him and Lo’ak, and his heart skipped a beat. Just one, not a big deal. Right?

Neteyam couldn’t help the annoyance that built within him as he watched you and Lo’ak interacting, talking to each other like the whole world was your oyster, with your stupid inside jokes, and the stupid movie references he didn’t get, and you laughing and touching his shoulder playfully. He definitely didn’t like how his baby brother was looking at you, how he could tell he was feeling the same feelings Neteyam was, just masking them really poorly. This can’t happen.

“Sooo, where are we going? We can go meet Tuk and Kiri and help them look for beads and rocks?”

Neteyam saw Lo’ak push his head back and snore loudly, so loudly it scared some of the animals peacefully existing in the forest surrounding them.

“Don’t be mean. Anyway, you guys choose. Whatever you want, I’m yours today, boys.”

“Well, I definitely like the sound of that.”

That’s enough.

Neteyam caught up to both of you and pulled you by the arm. He keeps forgetting sometimes how small you are, how…fragile your body is compared to even a Na’vi child’s, so the movement jerks you violently and you gasp in pain.

“Neteyam, what the hell?”

He felt so bad, it almost drowned all the other ugly, festering feelings harbouring within him. Not quite, though.

“You need to go back and change.”

You looked at him, puzzled, not quite understanding what he was saying.

“What?” You glanced down at your clothes, trying to figure out if there is anything wrong with them.

“Why? Is there something wrong with them? Kiri made them for me, for my birthday, I wanted her to see me wearing them.”

“You’re almost naked. You need to change. Come, let’s go back.”

He started walking you back towards the lab, and he felt you struggle to release yourself from his grasp. You were putting all your might into it, he could tell, but to him, it felt like the resistance might as well be air. He let you go, not wanting to hold you without your consent.

“What the hell do you mean I’m almost naked? I’m wearing what you wear, what your people wear. I’m more covered than Spider ever is, and I’ve never heard you complain about how he’s dressed.”

“This is different.”

“How?” You were angry now, chest heaving with panted breaths, a dark look in your face, and your temper, that Neteyam feared a little and he knew Lo’ak did too, was fully flourished now, fully on display. Shit.

“It just is. Just trust me, please?” He was trying to calm you down, hoping you would just trust him and not question him any further. He should know better, you were your mother’s daughter after all.

“Trust you? You have some nerve, Neteyam. I’m going home. Don’t even think to come after me.”

He saw you stomp off, a little amused at how such a tiny being could be so so loud when she was angry. He heard you muttering as you left, so many words, so many curses, Neteyam cringed a little.

“Pigs. Boys. Misogynistic. Stupid. Pig-headed. Annoying. Boys.”

As you continued walking, the flurry of insults got lost as echoes in the forest, and Neteyam turned to his brother, who was already looking at him, disbelief all across his face.

“Bro, do you have a death wish or something?”

Neteyam ignored his question for two better ones. “What’s a pig….? What’s misogynistic?”

“You’re asking the wrong person, man. But I wouldn’t hold my breath it’s a compliment.”

Come back, come back, come back to me like

You could, you could if you just said you're sorry

I know that we could work it out somehow

But if this was a movie you'd be here by now

“Dick. Stupid, stupid boy. I can’t believe he would say that, how dare he tell me what to wear?”

The mumbling didn’t stop the whole way back to the lab, not as you entered, not as you took off your mask, not as you walked the hallways all the way to your room and shut the door forcefully behind you. You pressed play on your vintage record player and plopped yourself on your bed with a huff, fantasising about ways to get back at your annoying, aggravating, irksome boyf-… friend. Friend.

You could keep wearing it, you could just go to the village and let everyone see you. You could not let him in the next time he comes at night. Maybe a Palulukan would eat him and then he’d learn to not be such a little -.

“Ace? Are you ok? I heard you mumbling and shutting the door so loud I’m sure I pipetted the wrong amount of treatment on my cells.”

“I’m fine, it’s just… I’m fine.”

“Neteyam?”

“….no.”

“Oh, kid. Neteyam’s the only one that ever gets you this riled up. What did he do now?”

“He’s a misogynistic pig. Telling me what to wear or what not to wear.” You were again talking more to yourself than to anyone else, mumbling quietly, so much so Norm had to push his head further into the room so he could listen in.

“Oh, Ace.” Norm laughed heartily, amused at your teenage problems.

“He’s just… not used to seeing you like this.”

“But every other girl dresses like this. And Spider does, too.” You were pouting now, upset that Norm was defending him.

“Yes, Ace, but you’re not every other girl to him, and neither is Spider.” He snickers a little at his joke.

“Just… give him some time to adjust.”

You rolled your eyes in his direction, but relented. You still haven’t forgiven him, but at least your temper lost its edge now.

It was late, after eclipse, when you heard a pebble knock on your window with a small clink. You removed your eyes from the book you were reading for a second, huffing when you realised who it was. Too little, too late, friend.

Another pebble. Then another. Then a bigger one. Big enough that you worried for a second it was going to break through the window and kill you. Maybe he would kill you and then he’ll feel guilty for the rest of his life. You smirked a little, then discerned finally how petty you were being. With one last huff, you put the book down on the bed and got up, stomping to the entrance of the lab.

You put on a mask and opened the door, whisper-screaming in his direction.

“Neteyam!”

He came sheepishly, hands behind his back. He looked sad and guilty, embarrassed at himself and how he behaved.

“Atan…”

“Don’t ‘Atan’ me. Go away. It’s late. I was preparing to sleep.”

“No, you weren’t. You were in bed, reading a book. I know you struggle to sleep if I don’t come.”

Rats.

“I’m really sorry… really, really sorry. I don’t know what came over me. But I want you to know, it’s not because you’re a girl. It’s because…” He struggled with the words, looking around for divine inspiration to hit him. “I’m just not used to it, that’s all. But I shouldn’t have acted like that. I was crazy, and an asshole, and I’m sorry.” You watched as he pulled a bouquet of flowers from behind his back and you gasped, unable to hide your amazement. “I know humans give each other flowers to say they’re sorry? Please forgive me?”

You had to bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling like an idiot, like a smitten idiot, but you couldn’t help the tiny smile that escaped you as you nodded softly in his direction. He made his way to you and you took the flowers from him, smelling them as much as you could through the mask. Your heart thumped in your chest when you saw his hand make its way to the bottom of your mask, forcing you to look up at him. “You looked beautiful today. Really beautiful.”

I know people change and these things happen

But I remember how it was back then

Locked up in your arms and our friends were laughing

'Cause nothing like this ever happened to them

That night, that one night you would never forget was the first, but definitely not the last you fell asleep flush against Neteyam, your body so close to his, so intertwined you could feel each other, every curve, every breath and heartbeat.

That’s when things changed, when everything changed. Neither of you acknowledged it to themselves or to each other, but you both knew, deep inside. There was a consensus reached that he would come, that you would share a bed and a blanket, share space and oxygen, share every atom until there was nothing there separating you, not anymore, not for the rest of time. Or so you thought.

You wanted him. Wanted to tell him you loved him, you needed him. Wanted him to kiss you, wanted you to talk about what you both knew you meant for each other, wanted to talk about the future, wanted him to tell you he’d never leave you, he’d never find some random girl who will never, ever understand him, or know him, or have him like you did. Wanted him to put your mind to ease that you weren’t crazy to want this, that this wasn’t in your head. That it wasn’t wrong, or impossible, or cursed or forbidden. That it was right, it had to be right because how can anything wrong ever feel like this? How can it feel like the Universe conspired its entire existence just to put you two in it at the same time? When it felt like all the stars aligned just so you can be you and he could be him and you two can be who you were, together… forever.

“Neteyam?”

Your head was rested peacefully in the crook of his neck, deep silence all around you. It was bliss. You were warm, finally, you haven’t been cold in months, not with him in your bed, strong arms all around you, his tail wrapped tightly around your thigh. A low sound woke you up, deeply reverberating through your entire body.

You listened, and sure enough there it was again. It didn’t take long to realise the sound came from him, from the boy who dozed off next to you.

Your mum had a cat when she was a child back on Earth, that she loved greatly. She had so many photos and videos of her that you grew up watching, and the sounds emanating from Neteyam were… the same. He was… purring. Cats purred, your mum said, only when they were really happy. When they felt safe. When they were with loved ones.

You let out a small amused gasp, and reached out your hand to push back the braids that fell on his beautiful face. You couldn’t help it, and you put your head back where it was, in the crook of his neck, and listened as the calming sound melted all of your problems, all of your worries away.

You smiled in his neck, and before you could stop yourself, you placed a small kiss on it. Who needed pills to sleep when you had him?

Now I'm pacing up the hall, chasing down your street

Flashback to a night when you said to me

"Nothing's gonna change, not for me and you"

Not before I knew how much I had to lose

“Ow, ow! Grandma, you’re going to kill me one of these days.”

“Oh, Neteyam, stop complaining. Maybe don’t get injured so often if you don’t want me to have to do this every other day.”

Mo’at was clearly not in a joking mood today, Neteyam thought. Her hands were rough and the ointments harsh against his skin, leaving burning marks everywhere in their wake. Neteyam missed you every minute of every day, but particularly more in moments like this, when a minute felt like an eternity.

Lo’ak entered the tent and Neteyam could see him revelling a little, just a little, in his big brother’s pain. Lo’ak was mostly sympathetic towards Neteyam’s… predicament, but he still blamed him for the hurt he’s caused you, hurt that he had to see every day.

“Mighty Warrior.” He scoffed as he made his way to his own side of the tent, pulling something out of his box of trinkets.

“I debated even giving this to you. But we wouldn’t want the skin of the Perfect Son, the Perfect Soldier, the future Olo’eyktan to be blistering and irritated in any way, now do we?”

Neteyam let out a low growl in his brother’s direction. He was in no mood for this.

He caught the tube Lo’ak threw at his head with his perfect reflexes and almost dropped it when he realised what it was.

“D-did..um, did Norm give you this?”

“No. She gave me this. Even after all this time, she’s just worried about you, about your pain. She doesn’t want you to hurt. She’s a mess, even after all this time, and she still gave me this, so you wouldn’t suffer from your wounds.”

“If you ask me, you deserve it. And you don’t deserve her.”

Neteyam twirled the tube of numbing cream, one he knew too well, in his big hands, twisting it in every angle, imagining that she must have held it, must have touched it. Maybe if he tried hard enough, he could feel her, the residue of her warmth, of her scent he missed so much. All he felt was cold, just like the one that enveloped him permanently since he left.

“You’re right. I don’t. That’s why I left.”

If you're out there, if you're somewhere, if you're moving on

I’ve been waiting for you every day since you've been gone

I just want it back the way it was before

And I just want to see you back at my front door

Neteyam’s eyes stung with unshed tears as he listened to you play, as he had to pull himself away from the memories that won’t let him rest, won’t let him sleep at night, even more than a year after his departure. What has he done? He thought you would be better in time, that you’d both be better in time. He hoped what his mother said was true, that love wasn’t supposed to hurt, that he just needed to give you both space so you can heal individually, and this way your relationship… your friendship could be stronger, could be what it was supposed to be - the only thing it could be. But your love didn’t hurt. Hurting you hurt, seeing you in pain and crying, seeing you suffer hurt, but nothing about you ever hurt. The only time he was ever truly happy was in your presence, the only time he was ever free was in that clearing. The only time he ever felt love, true love, was holding you in his arms at night. The only time he ever felt alive was looking in your eyes. You were the only thing about this world that never hurt. That was always good and pure. And he thought the time apart would change that, would bring him perspective, would prove to him that Eywa had other plans for him, for the future Olo’eyktan, that this way, he could focus on his duties, on the future. That this way he would realise that what he felt for you was familial love that he confused in time with a crush, with something more. But nothing ever changed, not for you and him. Nothing ever would.

And I say come back, come back, come back to me like

You would before you said it's not that easy

Before the fight, before I locked you out

But I take it all back now

Is that the kind of ending you wanna see now?

Baby, what about the ending?

Taglist (thank you ily x) @changing7 @erenjaegerwifee @im-in-a-pansexual-panik @winchestertitties @puffb4ll @rebeccao03 @ultimatebluff @cottoncandy23 @zaddyneteyamlovergirl @n3t3y4msm4t3 @loquatious-josephi-krakousky @eternallyvenus @fresh-new-yoik-watah @lu-the-ghost-reader @@miawastakens @mm0thie @fanboyluvr @amortencjja @eywas-heir @tillys-writings

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teyamsatan · 1 year

Text

Illicit Affairs | Oneshot: The Moment I Knew

Pairing: Neteyam x Human!Reader

Chapter I Chapter II Chapter III Chapter IV Chapter V Chapter VI Chapter VII Chapter VIII Chapter IX Chapter X

Synopsis: It's your 17th birthday, and the gift you get from Neteyam is not one you would have ever thought of - or wanted.

Warnings: angst

Word Count: 2k words

A/N: I have been writing a lot of memories for the next few chapters of The Archer, and I found myself writing about the fated 17th birthday, which makes an appearance in Chapter VII of Illicit Affairs. I'm doing a lot of writing atm, I am trying to get the fifth chapter done ASAP, but enjoy this tiny story and insight into the day Neteyam left 🥰.

What do you say when tears are streaming down your face in front of everyone you know?

And what do you do when the one who means the most to you is the one who didn't show…?

And they're all standing around me, singing Happy Birthday to you

But there was one thing missing and that was the moment I knew

You woke up with a big yawn and an hopeful disposition today, your 17th birthday. You wanted to say it was because another year had passed, or because you knew people would be giving you gifts and attention and all sorts of good food today, but if you were being honest with yourself, you knew it was because you got to see Neteyam again.

Neteyam was a great gift giver. He paid attention, and he listened and he cared, so every year, his present was always your favourite. Ever since around your tenth birthday, when he first gifted you an identical bracelet to his, he always managed to surprise you with a perfect gift that made your heart skip a beat - or several. You haven’t seen him since that day, in the clearing, when you sang him that song, and hoped he knew what it meant. You didn’t get to confess the way you wanted to, you cowered at the last minute, but you hoped your birthday courage would allow you to finally tell him the feelings that have plagued you for probably years now.

You were scared. You knew deep down you probably shouldn’t even do it - I mean what was the point? It’s not like you could ever be together anyway, not like he would sacrifice his title and his future mate, the future Tsahik of the Omatikaya for you, a human girl. He couldn’t, you wouldn’t allow him to, so why were you even confessing? At the least it would make everything awkward and at the most it would ruin the best thing that has ever existed in your life. You couldn’t even decide what would be worst - him not reciprocating or him reciprocating? Cause either way it’s hell inbound, and you had enough of that in your life.

Despite everything, though, every nagging thought telling you not to, you wanted to, needed to finally tell him. You would deal with the consequences as they come, but you couldn’t be a coward any longer. If you had to act like you didn’t have a heart attack every time he got close to you, every time he touched you, every time he looked at you in that way, the way that was reserved only for you, you would go crazy forever.

You were happy to see Kiri and Lo’ak, coming by, as they always did, with a big basket of fresh fruit and food, your birthday feast, and staying with you for the day, as they always did. When you were younger, much younger, you used to celebrate in the village, with Jake and Neytiri, but those days are long gone. Later in life, you celebrated in the forest, climbing and hiking, wild and free, but those days were long gone too. Nevertheless, no matter how much you have changed, the care they had for you never diminished, and neither did their desire to celebrate you in whatever form you felt you were able to withstand.

The oldest Sully’s presence did not go remiss in your mind, every moment without him accelerating your worries that something was wrong.

“Hey… where’s Neteyam?”

You saw the siblings exchange a quiet, strange look. Neither of them looked at you as Kiri talked.

“He’s with the hunting party today, he couldn’t get out of it.”

“Today?”

“Yes…”

“But he never has anything going on on my birthday, Jake always makes sure of it.”

“I don’t think it was fully up to dad, Angel… I’m sure he’ll be back later.”

You saw Kiri flash a look of anger towards her brother, and your heart sank a little at the interaction. This was weird, but you thought maybe he was preparing a present for you that would take extra time. It has happened before, but it was always worth it in the end.

The hours passed, and you mostly finished the basket full of food between the three of you, splayed careless on some blankets you brought in the hub as a big projector was playing some of your favourite films. Your mood soured a little throughout the day, regardless how many sweet fruits you have injested, regardless of the calmness of your surroundings and the friendly faces who were attentively watching the latest picture playing on the screen.

As it finished, the two siblings got up, and Lo’ak awkwardly scratched the hair on the side of his head.

“Angel, we have to go, it’s past curfew and we’re -“

“-going to get in trouble with Jake, I know.” You sighed deeply, walking with them to the entrance.

“Thank you for hanging out with me, guys. I had a good time. Thank Neytiri, Jake and Mo’at for the food, and thank you for the gifts, I already love my new bracelet!” You said, twisting your wrist so the beads on the beautiful thread sang when pushed together.

“You’re very welcome. Happy birthday, again, and we’ll see you in a couple of days.”

You didn’t know if you should push it, and, as they were almost out the door, you found your voice again.

“Hey… if you see Neteyam, tell him I’m still waiting. I’ll probably run some experiments, so I’ll be up for a while… in case he still wants to come.”

You didn’t want to see their expressions, too scared to read something that will hurt you on their faces, so you just shut the door and left.

You paced around the labs and hallways and your room for the rest of the night, terrified as you were that you were going to miss Neteyam’s soft knock. He always thought of everything, was always too scared to wake anyone up, or to let anyone know he was sneaking way past curfew to stay with you for the night, before he always had to sneak off again prior to his family getting up and figuring out he was gone. You didn’t want him to be outside, in the cold and dark, with apex predators lurking at every corner, waiting for an opportunity to feast on a particularly good-looking blue boy.

It was dawn when you made it back to your room, feeling emptiness envelop your being, like your soul had been washed out and taken to the cleaners. You sat in your bed, back against the headboard, and thought about the last month. You haven’t seen Neteyam in all that time, ever since that day in the clearing. He had a weird look about him after you sang him the song, but you thought that was just him processing what you were trying to say to him, you thought it was him scared, as you were, about the prospect of more, about the possibility of everything changing between you. You thought he felt the same way, you felt like you were both on the same page - it felt to you that you had both fallen for each other in time, your love blossoming from the friendship that you have always shared into more, much more. Now you realised it wasn’t that which gave him that look. It was most likely the opposite. He knew what you were saying, and didn’t feel the same way.

You haven’t seen Neteyam in all this time. You thought he was training, but he wasn’t. He just didn’t want to see you. He didn’t want to see you anymore.

The way your heart shattered at the thought took your breath out of you, like you got punched in the gut. You didn’t know what to do with this pain, that was so feral and so severe, you genuinely felt like you were going to die. You lay in your bed, gasping for air, grasping at your chest, trying to will your heart to slow down, to piece itself back together, but to no avail. Neteyam was gone. Neteyam left you, without even saying goodbye. Neteyam watched you confess, and decided he wanted nothing else to do with you anymore. You lost him, like you lost your mum and your dad, lost him after 17 years, and you were alone again.

You were alone again.

Neteyam felt throbbing in his head as he woke up that morning, that continued the whole entire day. He took the day off today, knowing he would be unable to focus on anything, knowing that today, you would definitely realise what he has done. It was your birthday, one of his favourite days in the world. It was a day to celebrate you, the light in his life, his Atan, of course he loved it. And now he had to live with knowing his present would be his absence, and that he would have to live with the consequences of ruining this day for you, and the consequences of breaking your heart. His has been long broken, since the second he walked out of that clearing knowing he would never return. After eclipse, he saw his siblings returning with an empty basket, and his heart hurt at the still open and unhealed wounds.

“Brother, are you sure about this?”

He sighed, not being able to look at his baby sister.

“Yes, sister, I am sure.”

“She asked for you.” Lo’ak said. “Multiple times.”

“She said she’ll still be waiting, in case you decide to drop by later.”

“For what is worth, I think this whole thing is stupid. We’re her only family, and now you’re gonna take another person away from her, bro?”

Neteyam winced at his brother’s words, that cut him like a dull knife, painful and rusted, that will never heal, but fester and linger, forever.

“I’m going for a walk.”

“Brother, it’s past curfew.”

“I don’t care, tell mother and father I’m taking Seze out.”

He left in a hurry, unable and unwilling to register the muffled words spoken to him in a blur. He found his ikran immediately and took flight, knowing exactly where he had to go. He made it to the lab in no time, knowing the ride like the back of his hand by now.

He quickly hurried towards the door, thinking he will abandon this whole endeavour and beg for your forgiveness. It would take a while, but you always forgave him. And he could finally tell you that he loved you, that he has been in love with you for so long he’s lost track, and he could kiss you, the way he’s wanted to for so long, and everything else you can just figure out as you go along.

But then, every step he took was a memory he would never be able to ever erase from his mind, every step a recollection of times he’s been here because you were hurt or pained or near death, all because of him. He swore he could still see your dried blood on the stairs leading up to your door from where you were 13 and you fell down his ikran. He could see your limp form in his arms when you collapsed after you found your dad. His hand reached as far as a couple inches from the door before he stopped, and with shard of glass protruding in his already broken heart and tear drops staining his cheeks, he dropped his hand and left. He didn’t go far, though, circling around the big enclosure until he found the window he knew was looking into your room and just sat there, collapsing on the floor with his back against the cold metal, listening to the sound of music coming out of your recorder.

And I hope I never lose you, hope it never ends

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

I'd never walk Cornelia Street again

He stayed there, on the cold hard ground, listening to the music playing until dawn, until his heart was empty, until his soul was spent. Until he knew he lost you - forever.

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