#‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't

[missiodine]

tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.

like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"

love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology

like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.

#autumn says stuff #vent #im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long #i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it #never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟ #nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟ #yes that exact statement was said to me #maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it #like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because #grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it #from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point #is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally #it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how? #take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really #came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize #that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here. #im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that #‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't #even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence. #its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did. #better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to #forget that miss iodine exists. #sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso #fucking hell. #thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in. #My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.