zakizendetandi

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water is so so tasty and tastier than any of your foolish monster drinks this is true im sorry. this blog is sponsored by big water now

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a little mock postage stamp i did a while ago. free to download (X) and print as stickers, posters or whatever you like.

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What the sneef? I'm snorfin' here!

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They told Rafah is safe and lied for ages and now it's mask off

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online communities are so strange because people slip away so easily. you can be on here for years, folding people you've never met into the fabric of your daily life, and then they disappear, leaving only ghost posts scattered across tumblr behind. or their blog stays dormant, for weeks, months, years, until you're only still following them because you remember that they love sunflowers or they were kind to you when they didn't have to be or the last thing they posted was sad and raw and you still worry about them sometimes.

and sometimes they come back when you least expect it, years later, even, and there's this sudden rush of relief like there you are, there you are, even though you barely knew each other.

there's a strange kind of love to it. i don't know you and i want to hold your hand across miles and time zones and oceans. i can still see the imprint of you in this community you left. you don't anyone will notice or care when you're gone, but we notice and we care and we wish you well.

i hope you're all okay out there. i hope the sun is shining on your face and you are breathing deeply. i miss you.

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some vibes presented without elaboration

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guys give me your most controversial opinion!!! :D

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new rule

every time you think about a body part that you don't like (me for example, I don't like my facial hair) you must immediately think about a different part of your body that you do like.

for example if I'm feeling dysphoric about the stubble on my face, I must also think about how I like the curvature of my arms, or how I like the unique amber-green coloring of my eyes. it can be any compliment about your appearance that you can think of

I feel like one of the main things that makes dysphoria so rough is that there isn't any balance between criticism and compliment, and the more you think about parts of your body that you don't like, the more they become a focus in your head

sorry for the rambly post but I'm going to be trying this, and I hope it helps someone else who sees this post too

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yknow i never noticed the sheer rareness of images having ids or alt text on this website until i started adding alt text to my art (and trying to remember to add it to any images i post in general, especially text screenshots) and that makes me kinda sad

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was lamenting the fact that my eczema is flaring up when the thought "the itcher" popped into my head fully formed and unprompted and now i can't stop laughing

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favourite selfship dynamic ever has GOT to be "this is an objectively evil character But What If I Was Their Favourite" . literally SO fucking real . and i AM their favourite . they told me so and they would never lie to me. sorry that they lied TO YOU but they wouldnt do that to me. im just built different

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A blonde walks in a bank to get a loan. “I need to borrow $100 for a month,” she says. 

The banker frowns, but takes her information anyway. He runs her credit but can’t find a report. “I’m sorry,” he says, “but in the absence of a credit record, we’ll have to charge 20% interest on the loan, and you’ll need to put up collateral.

“What does that mean?” the blonde says.

“It means,” the banker says, “you’ll have to repay us $120, and you’ll need to give us something more valuable to hold onto until you pay us back.”

“Something more valuable?” The blonde says. “How about my Ferrari?”

The banker nearly snorts his coffee all over his desk, but he prides himself on customer service so he soldiers on. He runs the title on the Ferrari and what do you know, the blonde owns it free and clear. “Okay, he says, “I’ll print out the papers.”

“Just so I understand,” the blonde says, “I give you my Ferrari and you give me a hundred dollars, right? And then in a month, I give you $120 and you give me my Ferrari back?”

“Yes,” the banker says, “that’s the deal.”

She signs the paperwork and hands him the keys. He counts out $100 for her and watches her saunter out the door.

A month to the day later, he’s sitting at his desk when the blonde saunters back in. She hands him $120 and says “I get my car back, right?”

“Yep, he says as he hands her the keys. She turns to go but he stops her. “Miss, I really have to ask, why did you use a $140,000 car as collateral on a $100 loan?”

“Oh!” The blonde says. “I got called out of town unexpectedly on business. How else can I park a Ferrari for a month in Manhattan for only $20?”

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my number one skill is being sooo cute and my number two skill is the ancient curse

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Indubitably 🧐

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My brother's girlfriend had HPV, so he went to get himself the HPV vaccine. There is a fee to pay (nothing much, something like €87) but it's completely free if you're in one of the "at risk" groups.

"What does that mean," he asks. "It's free if you're gay," he's told. "Ah. Would I have to like, prove it, or...?" "Just put in a check mark here."

My brother is in no way, shape or form attracted to men, but also he's stingy as it gets. So now he's officially gay. Congrats bro.