yourmodernpsyche
Memoir of a Butterfly
Days of sadness and longing, of anger, of heart broken to pieces, of trying to be brave and strong. As I write in this blog, may this be the end of every grief and pain that I have. I hope that after all the storm, a rainbow of never ending success and happiness shine in my life.
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Go on with what I feel or stop?
There is a guy na pareho kami ng place of work. We've been friends (special) for almost 6 months now. We're dating. And I know it's too fast to think but I guess... Mahal ko na siya.
But last night, he's planning to move to other work place. And I felt sad.... Although, it his choice and I will support him to anything that will make him happy.
Ngayon, sobrang nalulungkot ako and scared... That we might lose connections and communications if that will happen.
Should I need to stop my self from falling in love with him habang maaga pa or should I just let it?
Kindly reply guys. Thank you in advance.
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God is with me
Why do I need to feel afraid if they’ll leave me? I have my God with me...
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Yung feel mo magpose 😁✌️
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Ginataang gulay with love ❤️
11.23.2019
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Birthday present from the guy with semi-curled hair ❤️
11.22.2019
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Even the nights are better
I, I was the lonely one
Wondering what went wrong, why love had gone
And left me lonely
I, I was so confused, feeling like I'd just been used
Then you came to me and my loneliness left me I used to think I was tied to a heartache
That was the heartbreak, but now that I've found you
Even the nights are better
Now that we're here together
Even the nights are better
Since I found you, oh
Even the days are brighter
When someone you love's beside ya
Even the nights are better
Since I found you
You, you knew just what to do
'Cause you had been lonely too
And you showed me how
To ease the pain and
You did more than mend a broken heart
'Cause now you've made a fire start
And I, I can see that you feel the same way
I never dreamed there'd be someone to hold me
Until you told me and now that I've found you
Even the nights are better
Now that we're here together
Even the nights are better
Since I found you, oh
Even the days are brighter
When someone you love's beside ya
Even the nights are better
Since I found you
I never dreamed there'd be someone to hold me
Until you told me and now that I've found you
Even the nights are better
Now that we're here together
Even the nights are better
Since I found you, oh
Even the days are brighter
When someone you love's beside ya
Even the nights are better
Since I found you
Source: https://www.lyricfind.com
*I never thought that I would feel this way again... Nights are better.. when we talk about each other’s stories... When we share laughter and meaningful stares...
I thank God I met and found you...
11.22.2019
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Loving you
It's been quite a while
you've really kept me wanting you
you've got some style, so unique
you're beautiful, so warm, so deep
stay with me tonight
let me know the kind of love
that will remain forever be
a dream that had become reality
Lovin' you, woh
is such an easy thing to do
no, you never know
it's drivin' me crazy
'cause it grows and grows
but i won't let it stop
no i'm not givin' up
lovin' you, lovin you
just a bit too much
it's been quite a while
i never felt so easily
wonder how you broke my style
you're close to me i need you now
stay with me tonight
it's got to be just too much love
i could remain and forever be
a dream that had become reality
Lovin' you, woh
is such an easy thing to do
no, you never know
it's drivin' me crazy
'cause it grows and grows
but i won't let it stop
no i'm not givin' up
lovin' you, lovin you
just a bit too much
woh, lovin' you
just a bit too much...
To the guy with semi-curled hair
I think I am falling in love with you... From the way you think, the way you make me laugh, the way you smile... (makes me mesmerize) So unique... Which makes me wanna embrace and never let you go...
It's fast.. I know.. Me neither, never thought that I would feel this way.... I never thought that we'll be friends... But Months and months passed by... My feelings getting stronger. I wish I could say all this to you... But, there is a perfect time for everything...
At this moment, I am happy that we're friends and I just want to cherish every moment I am with you...
11.20.2019
#prsnl #love
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TRUE, DEEP DESIRE
True, Deep Desire
Winn Collier
“What do you want me to do for you?” Jesus asked him. Mark 10:51 Mark 10:46–52
Ezekiel 11–13; James 1
A mouse with a shrill voice, Reepicheep is perhaps The Chronicles of Narnia’s most valiant character. He charged into battle swinging his tiny sword. He rejected fear as he prodded on the Dawn Treader toward the Island of Darkness. The secret to Reepicheep’s courage? He was deeply connected to his longing to get to Aslan’s country. “That is my heart’s desire,” he said. Reepicheep knew what he truly wanted, and this led him toward his king.
Bartimaeus, a blind man from Jericho, sat in his normal spot jingling his cup for coins when he heard Jesus and the crowd approaching. He yelled out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” (Mark 10:47). The crowd tried to silence him, but Bartimaeus couldn’t be stopped. “Jesus stopped,” Mark says (v. 49). In the midst of the throng, Jesus wanted to hear Bartimaeus. “What do you want?” Jesus asked (v. 51). The answer seemed obvious; surely Jesus knew. But He seemed to believe there was power in allowing Bartimaeus to express his deep desire. “I want to see,” Bartimaeus said (v. 51). And Jesus sent Bartimaeus home seeing colors, beauty, and the faces of friends for the first time. Not all desires are met immediately (and desires must be transformed), but what’s essential here is how Bartimaeus knew his desire and took it to Jesus. If we’ll pay attention, we’ll notice that our true desires and longings always lead us to Him.
What do you truly desire? How might this desire lead you to Jesus?
Source: http://odb.org
Insight:
If ibabase ko sa mismong devotion.. It simply tells us that whatever your heart desires ask it to the Lord with faith in it and put perseverance to achieve it. Pero hindi lahat ng dini-desire natin mabilis na natutupad or mabilis na nakakamit. Lahat ng bagay may panahon. Minsan nangyayari unexpectedly.. Or nangyayari ayon sa kagustuhan ni God. If hindi pa nangyayari.. Just keep on asking it to the Lord. Walang imposible sa Kanya.
(Luke 1:37)
11.20.2019
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M o v e d O n
Someone asked me, “Bakit ang bilis mo naman maka-moved on?”Thought about it last night; While throwing back some of our old photos... I repeatedly asked myself, does it affect you still? IT DOESN’T.
alam ko na may galit pa rin sa puso ko sa lahat ng mga nangyari at nasabi niya sa akin, but I chose to be happy... I chose to move on.... Naisip ko lang kasi na oo masakit sakin mga nangyari but I asked myself.. Do I deserve the pain? Do I deserve this hurt? NO! walang kahit sino mang tao ang deserve na masaktan.... And we have different stories, different experiences in our relaionships... ako, I decided/ chose not to think about it anymore.. ayoko ng isipin pa yung masasakit na nangyari... ayoko ng ilugmok yung sarili ko sa pain na yon.. simply because, nothing will change... nonsense. it’s just waste of time, effort to cry... wala na rin namanang contact between us. And kung meron man… I will not waste my time to ask him again kung ano ang problema o naging problema. Ilang beses ko naming triny na alamin.. pero pinili niyang wag makipagusap.. pinili niyang wag na magparamdam. I respect him…
Again, ito ay sa akin lang... It is based on my personal experience and feelings....
Kasi may mga cases na.. papalipasin lang yung taon.. baka may kailangan lang pag-usapan at ayun nagkakabalikan na… in my case, I chose not to talk to him anymore. Malinaw na sakin ang naging desisyon niya. He has no room in my heart anymore. #bitter nga kung iisipin… But, that’s the truth. I chose not to be with him anymore…Hindi siya ang right guy for me… He does not deserve my love. kung makikipagusap man siya… kung magkakaroon ng chance na makausap ko siya.. siguro… yun na yung official goodbye/ CLOSURE. Lilinawin lahat pero never ko na siyang babalikan… almost 7 years, yes… kung tutuusin.. sobrang tagal talaga.. matagal nga pero masaya ba???
Siguro napagod na lang din ako sa lahat.. napagod na akong umiyak, napagod na akong magisip and now, again, I CHOSE TO BE HAPPY AND I CHOSE TO MOVED ON.
11.19.2019
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New Chapter
It's been a while folks.... Lots of happenings... Happy, unexpected, kind of confusing and unsure... I'm back because I want to share what happened and what I am feeling right now....
I hope you'll help me figure everything out. (problem/ or the things I am stressed about.) Thanks in advance.
11.18.19
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Day 27-28:
With emotional wound we wait days, months or even years before we approach anyone.
Bandaging your wound is the last step...
Emotionally speaking, bandaging your wound takes time.. It includes
FORGIVENESS, ACCEPTANCE AND LETTING GO...
-Jay Shetty
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Day 25:
Ako lang naman pala yung sinayang mo! Lavarn hahahaha
Not the same girl anymore.. I'm now Strong, Happy and Blessed 🌼
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Photo
The Crucifixion, 1320, Giotto Di Bondone
Medium: fresco
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