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simplysharali
| Wings of Inspiration |
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The Life of Eve
ishikorokoroishi
生きた証
manasseh
hey
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uhm quickie update… we’re dating. WAIT WHAT? yuh i’d say that was accurate and shocking.
it was just a cosmic joke
funny thing we started as strangers and might ended up as strangers again. so much progress in a year full of drama.
december 2019, nothing special.... yet.
april 2020, made a squad with the og — learned all your names, played every 9 pm until 2 am max and bruh i remember we’re just using the mic to communicate and then there’s me... i don’t do mics... all i did was listen to them and carry the team lol. if my memory serves me right, i am a pro selena user way back then haha.
may 2020 the month it all actually started.. added all of you in facebook, twitter and ig. until the squad had a dilemma and the sad part is that it didn’t last long. and then there’s you... and me... left.. you even invited me to play another game. while waiting for them to play with us we played that game.. and it’s just the two of us. me, being an introvert who prefers texting over calling suddenly it just got reversed when you said “call ako” old me would prolly decline to that invitation. but instead i just answered it and enjoy actually the game... and it became a routine for me. for us.. then we had our first tampuhan.. i don’t know how to react to that and thank God i learned how to handle your mood swings with the time being. we played every night. you called every night and i answered it without even hesitating. lol, i can still remember where i would answer that, with my fan turned on because of my set up haha you always say “fan mo” because you hate those noises... you can’t function well. and then you introduced your doggos to me. it was a pain in the ass memorizing your doggos ‘cause damn, they’re so many!!! you always send me vids and pics of your precious babies and got mesmerized by Lighting. my og fave never ever forget. until your mood swings and your unpredictable inis sa’kin became a hobby of yours. somewhere along june to july i’ve managed to memorized your doggos and ended up hopee being my fave, because hopee’s the miracle baby and prolly the cutest hehe. you started sending me links of songs which became my song choices right now, i hate edm. i hate modern musics you know that, but the weird thing is that you managed for me to like it.
august 2020, your birth month.. and my birth month. ‘twas nice to know you for quite some time even though you’re still guarded with me. august 8, mia. hibernate daw my cousin told me. and bago sa’kin ‘yun lol, didn’t wanna celebrate your existence because ganun din ako but ‘di sanay sa “hibernate” term haha. i greeted you at exactly 12 midnight and 11:59 pm with no response from you. my efforts in your birthday lol, i even made you a memoji photoshopped picture but i didn’t send it. it was supposedly an interactive greeting but you hibernated. you’re back from the dead at aug 10. then aug 16... my birthday. sinalubong birthday with your voice.. 22 by TS was the only song i listened that day. we played and you even gave me a chance to ask whatever i want for my birthday gift. since i don’t want material things... my request was for you not to hibernate for the whole year. in other words I ASKED FOR YOU. your time, your presence, you... and you agreed basta ‘wag lang ako magpuyat 2 am max. OUR VERY FIRST DEAL.
made new friends at september. you made a squad... paradox. and our og squad ult. with random people who started to become close to us. i remember the first ones. carl, clarke, christian, kulit hahaha. good times. we actually careered rank games over classic ones. october came still the squad is functioning. our group chat’s getting bigger.... and noisier lol. still our routine is there.. we call. we play.. you send vids and pics of your doggos. we share kwentos.. share music..
november 2020... was the month you legitimately gifted me. an account with agent z and so many more skins. you said that it’s my christmas gift. you gave that to me on november 11. 11-11. your favorite. I FELT SPECIAL. gumastos ka ng malaki for me... the effort of finding that acc. amaru was the original ign. spent months thinking for the perfect ign. said i love you for the first time to her. because i do.. and i appreciated the gift so much. i forgot she’s always reminding me not to be attached to her... i think it’s a little too late for that.
december 2020.. i’m running out of time. 31 days and i’ll be out of her life. - from the way she described it.. cut off and goodbye. so, spent the last 31 days with her laro lang ng laro. december 23, i made an effort. ngapa ngapa sa photoshop.. i turned hopee, lighting and cloud into a vector art 😅. and gave that’s my christmas gift to her. first ever christmas with chef. she even send me a pic of her for the first time. december 31. my supposedly last day with her.... turned out a little bit unexpected.
january 2021 naglalaro pa din tayo. you can’t seem to let me go. february, we took a break from each other. ‘di mo ako pinansin. i’m still living but i just exist lol. 20% functioning that time because of questions na hindi masagot sagot. hiatus for a month i cant believed i survived that.
march 1 at 12:05 you messaged me “buhay kapa?” and we started talking again. and we played again like we used to. shared stories. this was the time where i got so obsessed with edm and lahat ng gusto ko naipon na dapat ssend ko saiyo. kaya tinadtad kita lol. spotify was my bestfriend here lol. premium eh hahaha. missed your doggos. daily dose ko ng doggo nabalik din hehe. nauungkat nanaman ‘yung sa cut off. let go. good bye thingy.
april. my last month. the fallout month. you sacrificed your time for me. we stayed late so bad we even woke up at the same time which is so weird lol. 10 pm up to 5 or 6 am gaming. talagang sinusulit ang oras na magkasama. you even said you left your 5 man for me. april 18. you made your decision to cut me off. and it broke my heart. cried so hard. can’t even talk to you so straight because of that. 10 mins after you called me again to say that i can still talk to you.. you still can’t seem to let me go ha.
we still talk at night but not that much and then you suddenly stopped. and nasaktan ulit ako kaya i had the urge to real talk you. and you suggested a call na naging routine natin na ulit. night calls with you. until hindi nagiging healthy because of my toxic mindset and your indecisiveness and cold hearted personality. until april 30.. you really cut me off. cried 3 times narinig mo lahat...
I THINK this is it
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the idea of you
“don’t get attached to me”
five simple words that you always say
“because I always disappear.”
i’ve been warned many times.
kept lying to myself
“no, i’m not yet attached”
spent months on collecting my true feelings
then comes a day when i’m finally honest with it
is that day when you started to push me away.
with the one full year of knowing you
you are a memory worth keeping
despite the heartaches and sorrows you’ve caused me
it’s nothing compared to the idea of having you in my life.
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okay.
you seem happy. i hate myself for being easy. may 11 and you’ll be out of my life. I NEEDED YOU... and you weren’t there. you said you would be there for me.
“don’t be afraid, don’t be shy... i’m here as long as i’m around” fuck. a lie.
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can’t seem to let go.
edm was supposedly a nice new memory for me...a breakthrough. but it turned out to be the opposite, a breakdown.
every song now reminds me of you.
selective memory aint working for this one. i need help.
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it was just a cosmic joke
funny thing we started as strangers and might ended up as strangers again. so much progress in a year full of drama.
december 2019, nothing special.... yet.
april 2020, made a squad with the og — learned all your names, played every 9 pm until 2 am max and bruh i remember we’re just using the mic to communicate and then there’s me... i don’t do mics... all i did was listen to them and carry the team lol. if my memory serves me right, i am a pro selena user way back then haha.
may 2020 the month it all actually started.. added all of you in facebook, twitter and ig. until the squad had a dilemma and the sad part is that it didn’t last long. and then there’s you... and me... left.. you even invited me to play another game. while waiting for them to play with us we played that game.. and it’s just the two of us. me, being an introvert who prefers texting over calling suddenly it just got reversed when you said “call ako” old me would prolly decline to that invitation. but instead i just answered it and enjoy actually the game... and it became a routine for me. for us.. then we had our first tampuhan.. i don’t know how to react to that and thank God i learned how to handle your mood swings with the time being. we played every night. you called every night and i answered it without even hesitating. lol, i can still remember where i would answer that, with my fan turned on because of my set up haha you always say “fan mo” because you hate those noises... you can’t function well. and then you introduced your doggos to me. it was a pain in the ass memorizing your doggos ‘cause damn, they’re so many!!! you always send me vids and pics of your precious babies and got mesmerized by Lighting. my og fave never ever forget. until your mood swings and your unpredictable inis sa’kin became a hobby of yours. somewhere along june to july i’ve managed to memorized your doggos and ended up hopee being my fave, because hopee’s the miracle baby and prolly the cutest hehe. you started sending me links of songs which became my song choices right now, i hate edm. i hate modern musics you know that, but the weird thing is that you managed for me to like it.
august 2020, your birth month.. and my birth month. ‘twas nice to know you for quite some time even though you’re still guarded with me. august 8, mia. hibernate daw my cousin told me. and bago sa’kin ‘yun lol, didn’t wanna celebrate your existence because ganun din ako but ‘di sanay sa “hibernate” term haha. i greeted you at exactly 12 midnight and 11:59 pm with no response from you. my efforts in your birthday lol, i even made you a memoji photoshopped picture but i didn’t send it. it was supposedly an interactive greeting but you hibernated. you’re back from the dead at aug 10. then aug 16... my birthday. sinalubong birthday with your voice.. 22 by TS was the only song i listened that day. we played and you even gave me a chance to ask whatever i want for my birthday gift. since i don’t want material things... my request was for you not to hibernate for the whole year. in other words I ASKED FOR YOU. your time, your presence, you... and you agreed basta ‘wag lang ako magpuyat 2 am max. OUR VERY FIRST DEAL.
made new friends at september. you made a squad... paradox. and our og squad ult. with random people who started to become close to us. i remember the first ones. carl, clarke, christian, kulit hahaha. good times. we actually careered rank games over classic ones. october came still the squad is functioning. our group chat’s getting bigger.... and noisier lol. still our routine is there.. we call. we play.. you send vids and pics of your doggos. we share kwentos.. share music..
november 2020... was the month you legitimately gifted me. an account with agent z and so many more skins. you said that it’s my christmas gift. you gave that to me on november 11. 11-11. your favorite. I FELT SPECIAL. gumastos ka ng malaki for me... the effort of finding that acc. amaru was the original ign. spent months thinking for the perfect ign. said i love you for the first time to her. because i do.. and i appreciated the gift so much. i forgot she’s always reminding me not to be attached to her... i think it’s a little too late for that.
december 2020.. i’m running out of time. 31 days and i’ll be out of her life. - from the way she described it.. cut off and goodbye. so, spent the last 31 days with her laro lang ng laro. december 23, i made an effort. ngapa ngapa sa photoshop.. i turned hopee, lighting and cloud into a vector art 😅. and gave that’s my christmas gift to her. first ever christmas with chef. she even send me a pic of her for the first time. december 31. my supposedly last day with her.... turned out a little bit unexpected.
january 2021 naglalaro pa din tayo. you can’t seem to let me go. february, we took a break from each other. ‘di mo ako pinansin. i’m still living but i just exist lol. 20% functioning that time because of questions na hindi masagot sagot. hiatus for a month i cant believed i survived that.
march 1 at 12:05 you messaged me “buhay kapa?” and we started talking again. and we played again like we used to. shared stories. this was the time where i got so obsessed with edm and lahat ng gusto ko naipon na dapat ssend ko saiyo. kaya tinadtad kita lol. spotify was my bestfriend here lol. premium eh hahaha. missed your doggos. daily dose ko ng doggo nabalik din hehe. nauungkat nanaman ‘yung sa cut off. let go. good bye thingy.
april. my last month. the fallout month. you sacrificed your time for me. we stayed late so bad we even woke up at the same time which is so weird lol. 10 pm up to 5 or 6 am gaming. talagang sinusulit ang oras na magkasama. you even said you left your 5 man for me. april 18. you made your decision to cut me off. and it broke my heart. cried so hard. can’t even talk to you so straight because of that. 10 mins after you called me again to say that i can still talk to you.. you still can’t seem to let me go ha.
we still talk at night but not that much and then you suddenly stopped. and nasaktan ulit ako kaya i had the urge to real talk you. and you suggested a call na naging routine natin na ulit. night calls with you. until hindi nagiging healthy because of my toxic mindset and your indecisiveness and cold hearted personality. until april 30.. you really cut me off. cried 3 times narinig mo lahat...
I THINK this is it
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it’s a nice break from all the pain. pero ‘di ko naman sinabi na gusto ko na ulit ng sakit...... :(
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I Was Once Happy
The day I met you wearing your black polo with a yellow tee
Not knowing what will happen nor bring
The next thing I knew is I am happy
Butterflies are everywhere, and I can’t control it.
Days and months of good mornings and good nights
Turns into a blank message with our torn hearts
You who made my heart such a delight
Keeps me awake especially at midnight
All those things were gone
And I still long for you
But to tell you the truth
I know it’s not the same to you
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you can’t tell me
that this isn’t Jaime and Brienne with their adopted starklings Sansa and Arya
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The Hour I Cared + poster type
P.S I only edited the first paragraph of the poem haha
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In that moment i was fooled again
I thought i am the girl who can make you smile
The girl who makes your dreams soar
The girl that you always call your sunshine
The girl whom you adore.
In that moment I was fooled again
what saddens me most is that i was fooled twice
both hurts like hell but here i am breathing
tears are slowly bluring my sight
because i kept asking my self “am i not worth loving?”
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