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xalonelydreamerx · 3 hours

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Re your meta: How has immortality not been a good experience for Darkling? He grew to be quite powerful because of the immortality and time.

I’ve talked about this before in a slightly different context.

He does have power, but that power has been acquired at the expense of all other potentials for happiness.

I would frankly argue that immortality bringing him misery isn’t necessarily a matter of interpretation rather than outright text. The narration often brings attention to his bleakness. He is isolated, feared by even the people closest to him— rightfully so. His most important relationship is with his mother, an equally miserable and bitter woman who he blinds, who eventually commits suicide in a bid to stop him. The sincerity of his desire for some sort of connection with Alina is debatable (I think it is genuine) but it is fact that he basically has no one else.

His life just doesn’t sound particularly fulfilling! And you may attribute that to his actions rather than it being an inherent effect of immortality. But immortality is what has shaped him into the person that he is by the trilogy.

In my opinion, the story doesn’t function if the Darkling is happy. If he were happy, he wouldn’t be so unchangeable in his perspective or *afraid* to be proven wrong. If he were happy, he wouldn’t need Alina to turn out exactly like him and to validate his choices. He is a character that is ruled by sunk cost fallacy.

He is positioned in the narrative as Alina’s foil and the threat of what she could become. The story draws a direct line between power and immortality, and the main theme it is concerned with is the inherent corruptive nature of power. Therefore immortality itself, as a concept, is presented as a corrupting state.

I don’t tend to approach the trilogy and the duology as a single narrative, because I feel they thematically contradict each other and aren’t written with the same ideas in mind. But it’s worth bringing up that the other immortals we see in KoS are uniquely warped, completely othered from humanity, and also distinctly miserable. Even outside of their purgatory, Elizaveta would simply never be happy. Neither would the shambling, shape shifting mass that is Grigori. The series pretty consistently presents immortality as a cruel and wholly transformative fate that, ideally, should be avoided.

That’s why in Demon in the Wood we see the Darkling so young and so vulnerable. He has a capacity for cruelty even then, but it’s explicitly due to the direness of his circumstances. That’s also why the faint nods to his insistence of the Grisha following peasant customs is, imo, really integral. Likewise, his claim to only being motivated by the greater good of his country and Grisha as a whole, is a farce now. But it wasn’t always. To fulfill his role in the narrative, he cannot have always been an unfeeling, selfish mass murderer. It’s his long life that has slowly transformed him into that.

He starts out ambitious, but that ambition has eaten at him from the inside until he’s nothing but a husk. The sheer force of time has slowly worn away at his morals, has made him discover that there isn’t any line he wouldn’t cross if it‘s for a good enough purpose. And over the years, the bar he needs to clear for “good enough” drops lower and lower.

The longer he lives, the lonelier he becomes, the less he sees other people as people, they’ll all die in the blink of an eye anyway. The more he sacrifices for gaining power, the more he becomes convinced that power is the only thing that matters. He cannot even consider any other way to live, because if he did, that means acknowledging that all those centuries of being miserable were for nothing.

I know your question wasn’t a moral one, rather than approaching it from his perspective of happiness. But with such a (formerly) ideals driven character, I think the realization that he’s sitting on centuries’ worth of accumulated corpses for absolutely no pay off or greater purpose is itself a looming source of anguish that he’s trying very, very hard to avoid.

#excellent take!#especially the example with the other immortals who ngl I've completely erased from my mind #grishaverse meta #the darkling #book darkling

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xalonelydreamerx · 4 hours

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“When Van Gogh was a young man in his early twenties, he was in London studying to be a clergyman. He had no thought of being an artist at all. he sat in his cheap little room writing a letter to his younger brother in Holland, whom he loved very much. He looked out his window at a watery twilight, a thin lamppost, a star, and he said in his letter something like this: “it is so beautiful I must show you how it looks.” And then on his cheap ruled note paper, he made the most beautiful, tender, little drawing of it. When I read this letter of Van Gogh’s it comforted me very much and seemed to throw a clear light on the whole road of Art. Before, I thought that to produce a work of painting or literature, you scowled and thought long and ponderously and weighed everything solemnly and learned everything that all artists had ever done aforetime, and what their influences and schools were, and you were extremely careful about *design* and *balance* and getting *interesting planes* into your painting, and avoided, with the most astringent severity, showing the faintest *academical* tendency, and were strictly modern. And so on and so on. But the moment I read Van Gogh’s letter I knew what art was, and the creative impulse. It is a feeling of love and enthusiasm for something, and in a direct, simple, passionate and true way, you try to show this beauty in things to others, by drawing it. And Van Gogh’s little drawing on the cheap note paper was a work of art because he loved the sky and the frail lamppost against it so seriously that he made the drawing with the most exquisite conscientiousness and care.”

— Brenda Ueland, from “If You Want to Write: A Book about Art, Independence and Spirit”

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xalonelydreamerx · 4 hours

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"in the original myth medusa was actually -" "well in the homeric version, achilles wasn't -" "no but in the real myth -"

read what you have just written. in the myth. myth.

these were not real people. myths change and shape to their contemporary situations with every retelling. whoever was telling or writing the myth put in or took out something different and new every time it was told. "accurate myths" are not a thing, I'm sorry. 'accurate to homer's version'? sure, go nuts. but they were never histories, and modern adaptations are not wrong for being different.

#nothing to add #as always you nailed it theitsa #long thread #greek mythology #medusa #greek culture

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xalonelydreamerx · 7 hours

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Alexandre Souêtre.

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xalonelydreamerx · 8 hours

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Samantha Misovits, Star Hellas 2022 (aka Miss Greece), in a traditional Cretan Greek dress. (She is a Greek national but has descent from Serbia and Ukraine, hence the name.)

#oh she's stunning #greece #historical fashion #traditional dress #traditional clothing #greek culture

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xalonelydreamerx · 12 hours

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Dune landscape in Athens

Every year Greece gets sandstorms from the Sahara desert. Their intensity depends on the area and season.

#Athens #Greece #the way it fits 😭#just finished a call with my mom and she was complaining about the sand in Athens (I'm abroad)

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xalonelydreamerx · 13 hours

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My sweet sweet sweet Baby.

#timothée chalamet #timothee chalamet #bones and all #lee bones and all #I watch this movie for the first time 2 days ago and I fear I may be going into hyperfixation 😭#he deserved so much better #fuck Sully #films

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xalonelydreamerx · 1 day

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⭒Alina Starkov, begining of s&b vs end of S&S ⭒

#alina starvok #grishaverse #tgt fanart #book alina starkov

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xalonelydreamerx · 1 day

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“what. are. you?”

#POOKIES #I'm sure I've rb this before but who cares #alarkling #tgt fanart

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xalonelydreamerx · 1 day

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edit: i ended up ranting instead of adding anything interesting so feel free to skip

Talking about book alina's character is like walking on eggshells these days 'cause there's always someone waiting to say "But [insert bashing]..."

Even in the spaces I hang out (typically darklina 'cause I don't dare to venture in the rest of the grishaverse fandom) when it comes to book alina she gets the most criticism; she's annoying, she's selfish, she's a brat. She was childish and a coward because she didn't step up to become a leader from the get go. Because she had her own assumptions and misguided views about grisha etc.

it's like everybody skips the part where she was raised with non-grisha people her entire life and just expects her to erase and embrace all the propaganda she was fed on because character like Genya or Nadia are being nice to her at the Little Palace.

Then you have the whole thing with the Darkling (who, listen he's my favorite character but) people always criticize her believing Baghra and not sitting around to wait and demand an explanation.

Why should she?

It took forever to warm up to this man who she had only heard horror stories about and we're surprised that the minute she finds out he lied to her she's willing to run away. Like... c'mon, which 18 yr wouldn't react like this?

Speaking of which, apparently because Alina was in the army, that automatically forces her into an expectation where she should have been more disciplined, and willing to get into the war business. Yep, let's forget the fact that she only joined the army for Mal. Let's forget that she was merely a cartographer - and not even a good one.

"She was an adult in grishaverse standards to join the army. She should act like an adult for the civil war in ravka."

In history many boys used to join the army since they were like 14/15. Does that mean they suddenly didn't have the mind of a teenager?

I honestly cannot get behind the logic.

Alina was just a teenager. Acted like a teenager and that's what people hate the most.

And it's not like she didn't have enough on her plate.

As I mentioned there's a lack of nuanced analysis about Alina, except if it's related to her ships or to criticism about her.

Let's talk about how Ana who was a mother figure of sort can easily be a parallel to Baghra. How her unfair treatment and verbal abuse affected her self worth and provided number of reasons for Alina to have insecurity. How about the orphanage she grew up with? The Duke was behind it but how was it running? Did the children have fresh clothes and food? Were they educated properly to be given a chance when they grew out of the system? Or were they nudged to join the army to serve the king and gain whatever benefit they could?

Let's talk about her identity crisis; the Darkling had wanted an equal to stand by his side, Nikolai wanted an ally and a future Queen, Mal wanted a version of his friend that no longer existed, the grisha by her side wanted a savior, the commoners a saint, the Apparat a martyr.

I'd definitely love to hear some headcanons about how even though the wasting sickness has gone away, it still affects her life because her body system had become accustomed to it.

Alina as a character is curious, witty, and charming. She's also insecure, selfish and ignorant. Having flaws make the characters more interesting, and it's unfair how female characters in general are always held on higher standards.

Could her story have gone better? Yes! For me the worst thing will always be her losing her powers. It's a tragedy that I could rants for hours but I'll spare you. Anyways, Alina deserves so much more love and I'm so happy to see one person feeling the same ♥

Sorry not sorry but my girl Alina is so real like if she has the option between “taking a nap.” and “give me a position in the government where I have to do things.” she’s gonna choose a nap every. single. time! And that is so relatable like the activity that I also enjoy the most in the world is in fact, rotting in my bed!

#alina starkov #book alina starkov #also I'm specifying book alina because show Alina has number of defenders but the second you stark for book her it's over #it makes me sad. Especially in shipping corners... how do you ship a pair if you hate the half?#I wish ppl would just warm up to her a bit more. Give her the same chance other characters get when they're rethinking of the trilogy

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xalonelydreamerx · 1 day

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that's a very good question actually! in s&b (which is where the quote was from) she had only just arrived at the LP and we know the journey was longer than what the show portrayed.

While it is written that she started feeling better the moment she unlocked what was preventing her and finally gave into Baghras' lessons I don't think her routine, pattern etc would have changed as easily as flipping the switch (I assume bardugo probably wanted the readers to pretty much assume that but if the Darkling can get in depth analysis and treatment for his childhood abuse from his mother, then Alina should also get an equal chance at thinking twice about the wasting sickness which had been affecting her her entire life instead of brushing it away as 'well, it's over now'.

I completely get you and it's definitely something worth pondering.

Sorry not sorry but my girl Alina is so real like if she has the option between “taking a nap.” and “give me a position in the government where I have to do things.” she’s gonna choose a nap every. single. time! And that is so relatable like the activity that I also enjoy the most in the world is in fact, rotting in my bed!

#obviously no harm to having fun and headcanons but this is such a nice chance at some meta analysis for Alina's character #I often see scolding about how she was so selfish for not “becoming responsible and embrace the notion of leading the girsha etc”#but why should she? like she was a sick girl who found out she was meant to be some savior and everybody expects miracles from her #dunno I think it's completely realistic for the first instinct to be shrink away from those responsibilities #I can't remember how much emphasis her past wasting sickness is given in the trilogy. it's been forever since I read the last two books #but atp I'd love to pick them up again.#alina starkov #grishaverse meta

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xalonelydreamerx · 1 day

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"When I saw all the stairs, I almost broke down and wept. Maybe I’ll just ask if I can stay down here in the middle of the hall."

NO FR I LOVE HER SO MUCH!

Sorry not sorry but my girl Alina is so real like if she has the option between “taking a nap.” and “give me a position in the government where I have to do things.” she’s gonna choose a nap every. single. time! And that is so relatable like the activity that I also enjoy the most in the world is in fact, rotting in my bed!

#book alina starkov #they'll never make me hate you #pookie just wanted a comfy bed and good naps. that's actually extremely relatable

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xalonelydreamerx · 2 days

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Self care is writing fan fiction that you are the sole target audience for.

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xalonelydreamerx · 2 days

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oh I still think otkazat'sya would hate all grisha don't get me wrong. It's just the Black Heretic being a woman might have led to the creation of distrust due to bigotry. Women have been accused for heretical practices in the past. Even miracles in Christianity were viewed different if they happened to a man vs to a woman, hence my train of thought. But who knows, maybe they'd do the bare minimal and keep the hate on an equal level.

As for that gifset it's my favorite! 🥹 ♥ let me link it here for everyone who wants to enjoy it

so. First of all I love your blog. Seriously I think you are one of the person who have comman sense in this fandom. I like everything you post. While scrolling through Tumblr I came across the usual anti darkling post ( he is groomer , murderer etc etc ) i did the thing I usually do when I came across such thing : I skip. A tag caught my eye. I don't remember but it's say something like : the only reason you like him is that he is Ben Barnes if darkling is a girl you couldn't like him. Which made me think what if darkling was a girl and alina as a boy. I just image a sexy hot black hair women with pale skin and grey eyes and morozova genes. Which..........is enough to made me think if I am a Bi 🤔. That image has not left me for a week and my dreams. So my question is

What do you think might happen if darkling is a girl and alina is a boy. How might the events of SaB and SaS will be affected. And m*lina too,of mal is a girl too. You thoughts 🤔

Thank you so much, anon! It makes me happy to know that others enjoy my blog and content. 😍

First of all about what that anti said: I personally didn't like Ben Barnes as the Darkling so it obviously doesn't apply. And even if the Darkling was a girl I would still root for her. I root for any character that fights for something better, for a positive change to happen among such oppression. And I think that's one of the major reasons his fans love him as well.

Now about your question: Boy, I would love to see that. I was always attracted to dangerous women, especially the ones that combine beauty and slyness (like Milady in "The Musketeers" or Morgana from "Merlin" post season 2).

But I don't think the story would be affected that much with the only exception that Alina in a male form would probably not be slut shamed for his attraction to the Darkling (in this version she would be called Aleksandra which is a fact that I love!)

The Darkling would remain an interesting character but, God, does that mean that Alina as a man would still avoid his duties?? 😭

And Mal as a girl. She would obviously be popular and well-liked by everyone but imagine that: she would sleep around with many guys and then attack her best friend for falling in love with a girl that isn't her. Well, for one thing it doesn't stick. You see if Mal as a girl fucked around then she would be called a whore (just like Alina was indirectly called one by Mal for wanting Aleksander) while in the original story when Mal did that no one raised a single eyebrow. So we live in a fictional world where if you do that as a guy then you're okay but if you're a girl then you should be called a prostitute. And Leigh had Mal get away with his behavior so she was more willing to let Mal pass with his sexist behavior than the Darkling who had enough and tried to put end to his people slaughter for good.

Anyway, I believe Mal's character would change a lot if he was a girl (primarily his fuckboy nature because the author doesn't allow a girl to have sexual liberation in her books) and I have a feeling she would be boring (again). And I don't think she would be a tracker?

Alina as a man wouldn't be slut shamed (because he's a man 🤷) but he would still avoid the Darkling. Nevertheless the chemistry would be off the charts. And the Darkling would slay like always. She would be the personification of femme fatale but her goal would be selfless and true like always. For some reason, I imagine her as a very seductive figure (although my wishful thinking might be speaking here).

The real question here is how the relationship between the Darkling as a girl and her mother, Baghra would be. Would Baghra want a daughter in the first place but she got stuck with Aleksandra because it was her only child that shared her powers? Or if Baghra had no problem with her child's sex, would she still be that possessive and controlling over her?

My own answer is yes and Baghra would most definitely leave a trauma to the Darkling even if she was a girl. That woman has no parenting skills in any universe. Just like I can't see the Darkling be anything else other than a fighter and a survivor in any other scenario.

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xalonelydreamerx · 2 days

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hmm I have lots of thoughts about this, but let me echo the same sentiment in regards to fan reception of the Darkling is she was a woman.

darklina/alarkling shippers would still love her. The appeal of the Darkling isn't that he's a man. It's the character, the story, the essence. Antis who make that claim are nothing more than your standard misogynistic readers who assume that people only like villain when they're hot.

A queen glance to asoiaf (grrm isn't afraid of writing ugly looking characters) will show you the fanbase has absolutely 0 problem toying with a villain even if they're the furthest from Prince charming looking

Now onto fem Darkling. I personally do think the fem darling would also be affected by ravka's misogynistic double standards. Would she still have the same position? The Darkling is seen as a powerful figure in canon, he leads the second army and had probably spent hundred of years to even get close to the royal family. Could a woman do that? Yes. Would they let her do it?

Both first and second army consists of female soldiers but that doesn't mean it's an easy rode for women to be generals. Especially in the case of the darkling, he already had his youthful appearance working against him 'cause "how will this boy come here and tell us he has better strategies and battle plans that us? "

So, dunno as a woman I always imagined she'd have to face something tough on her way. She could form the second army but would be lead it? What would she have to do to finally get there? And how much of the grisha's so called "privilege" outsiders think of would be connected to her being a woman? Historically women have been underestimated for being soft, emotional, maternal, incapable to lead and show strength. But if they do, then you have the other side of the coin; how cold, abnormal, monstrous even for a woman to be capable of acting like this. Surely it's not normal.

And if the black heretic was a woman. What does that indicate about grisha women? How worse would the opinion about them would be?

I think it's of things would change for the darkling and in consequence some of his accomplishments or the perception of grisha etc.

For male Alina, I think he'd have a much better help at growing some confidence because of his gender. Yes, shy/self conscious men exist of course, but men tend to form groups, especially in the context of an army. Dunno how he'd feel about his duties, I can imagine him being lazy but canonically Ana Kuya was mirroring Baghra in terms of child/parent treatment and I do think lots of alina's flaws are rooted to her unfair upbringing. Would Ana still treat male Alina like this? Personally I don't think so, but anyways.

I believe changing genders typically does affect a story 'cause experiences, perceptions, treatment is always bound to be different, especially when there's an establish misogyny in the world building.

However, shippers wouldn't really blink at that. If alarkling essence remained the same they'd still be shipped. if the Darkling had similar goals and action she'd still have fans.

Also fun fact but fem.darkling/male.alina have hardly been toyed as an idea for shippers. Fics, gifset, fan edits with gender reversal have always been about fem.darkling / fem.alina