21 Things I Wish I Knew At 21 (A Letter to My Past Self)
1. Stand up for yourself. I know you think you’re only being considerate, I know that your intentions are good, but shrinking your vast magical inner world just to fit into theirs will come with a steep price: and that price is your inner peace, the fullness of your heart, your mental health. But don’t worry love, at the end of it all you will heal and burn anew, you will rise from the ashes of your own pain, and you will burn even brighter yet. And most important of all, from then on you will be crystal clear on your high standards and boundaries.
2. That homesickness you feel, that yearning for a place where you belong, is only a reminder that you don’t yet feel at home in your own heart, in your own mind, your own body. When you do, the homesickness will vanish.
3. It’s not too late, you’re not being left behind. You must honor your own timeline, your own rhythm, and your own goals. Nobody can dictate your path, and that’s a wonderful thing.
4. Bolt at the first red flag. No, it doesn’t get better.
5. It’s called a break up because it’s broken. Stop looking back because you’re not headed that way. You’ll only be lured back in, because the things which drew you together, are still there. Recognise the dealbreakers which broke the relationship, and walk away. You’re just prolonging the inevitable.
6. You’re stronger than you can ever realise. You have a 100% survival rate. You’re a survivor, and you should be proud of that fact, instead of letting yourself be guilt-tripped by toxic people who were never in love with you, never in love with who you are, only the idea of you. Of course they were more loyal to their idea(l) of you than the actual you. See the truth of the situation as it was.
7. Get up from the table when the only thing being served is rotten. There’s no point holding on to unhealthy relationships, friendships, even family bonds. Put a distance between people that are not interested in your wellbeing.
8. It’s not b*tchy to have high standards and crystal-clear boundaries. In fact, it’s a necessity! Because the only people that get upset at you having boundaries and standards, are those that benefit from you having none.
9. Listen to your intuition, stop ignoring your gut when it’s telling you everything you need to know.
10. Stop engaging with the kind of energy and people that you know you don’t want to have in your life. There’s no debate, no conversation. When you engage, you’re allowing them space in your mind and in your heart.
11. Friendship is a two-way street. You can’t put in all the effort and expect it to magically work. When you see it’s one-sided, let go and move on. You deserve honesty, loyalty, committment and dedication, the same as you offer to others. No exceptions.
12. Actions speak louder than words. Forget about what they’re saying. Pay attention to what they do. It doesn’t matter how many times someone says they love you every day, if all they do is make you cry and break your heart. There is a disconnect there which is their problem, and not yours. You deserve better.
13. Stop clinging to an idealized past self. You’re a human being, not a painted portrait forever frozen in time. You are *YOU* as an integral self; past present and future; strengths, weaknesses and vulnerabilities, all in one. You are ever changing, improving, developing, and that’s okay. You’re not supposed to stay the same cookie-cut character for the rest of your life. It’s okay to change, in fact it’s how it should be. You can recreate yourself again and again, as many times as you need, until you are finally embodying your authentic self… Read more
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