whoneedssexed

[whoneedssexed]

Rich Siegel, Jewish resident of Teaneck, NJ, at Township Council meeting

[whoneedssexed]

Hi, Tumblr. It’s Tumblr. We’re working on some things that we want to share with you. 

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[whoneedssexed]

Idk if this is the right place for this ask but,

I read somewhere that you have to have been on T for a certain amount of time before getting top surgery

I definitely want a flat chest but I finally got to a point where I actually like my voice and I don't want to risk it changing and me hating it (I'm enby btw)

So, is this true? Or can I get top surgery without going on T? And if so how/where

If you had to be a on T for a certain amount of time before getting top surgery, I would think a lot of people would be dying from breast cancer.

As for how and where, that's unfortunately something you'd have to discover yourself. A combination of outdated ideologies and insurance policies often limit the amount of providers you have access to for trans-related care, let alone the amount of surgeons willing to do anything for you.

And that's if you're in the USA. I know in the UK trans-related care is *extremely abysmal* and that is pretty damn terrifying coming from someone living in the US; if your healthcare is more easily gained in the US then something is real fucked up where you live (for the most part).

Top Surgery.net is a good resource for Americans

And I don't have a similar resource for the UK, but searching for "uk top surgery" brings up a number of clinics, such as the London Transgender Clinic.

mod BP

#I might close the inbox again so I can catch up on all these asks #just been burnt out to heck #trans health #transitioning #asks #top surgery #transgender #nonbinary #afab

[whoneedssexed]

Why does penetration leave me feeling like I'm having minor cramps afterwards? Like, is there a simple explanation for what might be causing that?

(For info, this ask is not referencing p-in-v sex but just me doing things on my own, so it's not like a partner gave me an std or anything, and it's also a recent development so it might just be something that gets easier with time, but I don't know)

Well, you could be like me, and have a sensitive cervix.

There's also the potential of it being a result of a tilted uterus.

Or you could just be going too deep, or have a non-optimal position for what you're doing.

There are several reasons, but for the most part it's normal.

Now if the cramping is very painful, or you find yourself bleeding excessively, or you're experiencing non-stopping cramps and/or bleeding, that's a good time to see your doctor.

mod BP

#asks #sexual health #vaginal health #cramping #cramps #masturbation #penetration

[whoneedssexed]

https://ictnews.org/news/dancing-for-inclusion

https://ictnews.org/news/dancing-for-inclusion

[whoneedssexed]

🗣️This is important!

America’s puritanical, homophobic, anti-vaccination, anti-sex education, “morality” mentality is killing people.

This information could literally save someone’s life. Please share.

Links:

👉🏿 https://www.businessinsider.com/oral-sex-is-the-leading-risk-factor-throat-cancer-expert-2023-4

👉🏿 https://www.nbcnews.com/health/cancer/hpv-can-cause-cancer-many-people-dont-realize-rcna79597

👉🏿 https://www.gardasil9.com/adults/hpv-faq/

👉🏿 https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hpv-infection/in-depth/hpv-vaccine/art-20047292

#sexual health #reproductive health #oral health #rectal health #anal health #all the health #hpv #human papillomavirus #cancer #vaccines #vaccination #sex shaming #sex negativity

[whoneedssexed]

Hi. I need advice. My bf has depression and while it hasn't been terrible while we have been dating , recently he seems more distant and has mentioned he feels stuck in life, he's constantly unsure now which is very not him and keeps quiet and says "I dont know" alot. We and his friends think his depression is slowly coming back, because obviously it doesn't go away. I dont know how to help, because I do feel like its putting a strain on our relationship, we're currently doing long distance due to work so we arnt able to have our similar routine. His communication skills are not the best, we have small arguments frequently mainly due to his lack of interest on the conversation or his small outbursts. Which at the time I didnt put two and two together but now it kinda make sense. I feel like he has become distant and dont seem engaged at all when we have little time to talk. While I feel for him, im getting frustrated because our fight seem to be the same pattern, of him not being able to communicate properly. I've expressed this before as this is all we have at the moment and he seems to understand but doesn't seem to make much effort of trying. I do think the distance has affected this and he doesn't seem to realize, he a very actions person and he has expressed that he feels useless bc he can't do much for me while I'm away. Were so well together in person but lately we seem like a completely different couple . I'm not sure what to do, I think I want to give him some space , which makes me a bit sad bc we hardly have much time to chat. I ask him if he needs alone time ,etc but he can't seem to answer me with a direct answer. During our relationship his depression hasn't been bad , its been maybe mild but nothing to this effect, it's never caused a shift in our relationship but this time it feels different. So im.not sure how to go about this. Any advice would help, I do love him and want our relationship to grow but the past couple of months it seems more draining and mentally exhausting.

I know this is a very, very late response, but when things get like this for depressed people, it can be a red flag for potential suicidal ideation.

That said, being depressed can also cause a lot of brain fog, which makes people indecisive, dissociative, unable to think to the future, etc. This happens because of how exhausting and draining depression can be, especially in a world that demands you always be doing something, anything, at every moment. People with depression are extremely susceptible to burnout.

He could need a change in medication/treatment, or a change in environment, or a change in his support systems. Or sometimes, it's just a temporary rut in life. Doing more positive and/or relaxing things can also help, such as colouring in books, going to a movie, starting a new series, visiting an animal sanctuary, going on a hike, going to an amusement park, etc. Things that don't require a lot of effort and can be simply enjoyed, depending on social tolerances (ex: a museum could be a bad idea because there's too many people and it overwhelms).

There's also the fact that the strain on your relationship could be the cause of the depression and not the other way around. Which is to say, because you guys aren't in your usual routines and aren't able to experience each other often, his depression is returning. A lot of depressed people rely on routine and partner support to supplement their treatments. Breaking routine in particular can leave someone feeling lost, hopeless, confused, stuck, and so on. Plenty of people need routine to feel purpose and direction in their lives.

Depression can cause more arguing because it can deplete one's ability to tolerate others. Again, this is because of how draining depression is, which leaves someone with significantly less spoons and overwhelmed easily. Shutting down is a natural defense mechanism and presents itself as aloofness, sudden bouts of anger, disinterest in anything, inability to conversate, and so on. There can be different ways to treat these individual symptoms which can improve the overall depression.

If he seems to struggle still with communication or explaining what he wants and thinks, have him start keeping a journal or notebook where he writes everything he is feeling, or even draws pictures. Have him jot down any time his mood dips and what happened at the time it did, and maybe he can find triggers for what's going on with him.

But, it is fair to be frustrated. You have your own feelings and likely own problems as well and for the support YOU needed to be taken away is absolutely a frustrating thing. It's a good idea for you to find other support in this trying time to maybe take the pressure off of him.

If you haven't already, I would communicate to him exactly how you're feeling, and that you want to help but you don't know what to do. Ask him what he needs most right now - a distraction? a discussion? a solution? - and follow through. If he can't decide about it, emphasize you're there for when he knows. Additionally, explain to him that there's always gonna be sometimes when you two can't be in person and that he can't fix everything every time, and that you don't expect him to.

Here are some resources for both of you:

Getting Out of a Funk: How to Help Yourself Through Depression

Tips for managing depression in relationships

Babylon: How Depression Can Affect Relationships

Self-care Wellness Toolkit

Worksheet for depression coping skills

How to talk to someone who has depression

How and Why to Practice Self-Care

How can I communicate with someone with depression?

Depression in relationships

How to Tell Someone You're Depressed

Helping Someone with Depression

The Impact Your Mental Health Can Have on Communication

PsychCentral: 10 Self Care Tips for When You Have Depression

Anna Freud: Self Care

What Not to Say or Do to Someone Who Has Depression

Coping with Depression

How to Talk to Your Partner About Your Depression

How Depression Affects My Ability to Communicate

Psychology Today: Why Self Care is Hard for Depressed Individuals

The Royal Australian & New Zealand College of Psychiatrists: Self-care for depression

6 Powerful and Effective Ways to Communicate Better in Relationships

5 Signs that Depression is Eroding Your Relationship

How to Talk about Depression with Family and Friends

Tips On Communicating With Those Who Have Depression

6 Dos and Don'ts for Supporting Someone Who Has Depression

22 Ways to Cope with Your Depression

NIH: Caring For Your Mental Health

Depression Self Help Guide

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques to Help with Depression Symptoms

Healthy Coping Skills for Depression, Anxiety, and Anger

Clear Minds Center: Tips for Communicating with Someone Who is Depressed

How Depression Effects Relationships and What You Can Do

What to Know About Dating Someone With Depression

Relationships and Communication

How to use mindfulness for depression

Depression in Relationships: When to Say Goodbye

-Mod BP

#did I say some? I meant a lot #depression #communication #relationships #relationship advice #mental health resources #mental health #depression resources #suicide m tw - #asks #anonymous #self care #self care resources

[whoneedssexed]

Older Black gay men in long term relationships are rarely covered or seen by main stream media.

#lgbt positive #lgbt positivity

[whoneedssexed]

Here is a (non-exhaustive) list of free resources for different sign languages:

American Sign Language (ASL)

Australian Sign Language (Auslan)

Australian Indigenous Sign Languages

Black American Sign Language (BASL)

Brazilian Sign Language (LSB)

British Sign Language (BSL)

Chinese Sign Language (CSL)

Emirati Sign Language (ESL)

French Sign Language (LSF)

Italian Sign Language (LIS)

Indian Sign Language (ISL)

International Sign Language (IS)

Irish Sign Language (ISL)

Japanese Sign Language (JSL)

New Zealand Sign Language (NZSL)

Mexican Sign Language (LSM)

Plains Indian Sign Language (PISL)

Polish Sign Language (PJM)

Ukrainian Sign Language (USL)

Yolŋu Sign Language (YSL)

Please feel free to add on if you know of others, be it more resource for one of the sign languages above, or resources for learning any of the other 300 plus sign languages.

Edit: I updated the ASL reference to Bill Vicars, but reminder that these are just things I found around, please find Deaf teachers wherever possible! And for ASL, lifeprint.com is another wonderful resource.

#sign language #language #learning resources #language resources #education resources #education

[whoneedssexed]

-fae

#racism #us history #black history #blacklivesmatter #videos #rape m tw

[whoneedssexed]

terfs celebrating that the international chess federation has banned trans women from competing in women's FIDE competitions, because it's sooooooo feminist to argue that women are so biologically inferior and nowhere near as smart as men and thus can't play chess on the same level. girl that's not feminism that's literally just misogyny

#misogyny #sports #transmisogyny #transphobia #jfc

[whoneedssexed]

Hi, If one's vagina doesn't lubricate properly (for example after a hysterectomy with the cervix removed as well, well after surgery, once cleared for sex) and there is no penetration, and orgasms are still a thing and desired-- how likely are the orgasms to be painful? Is that a concern at all? (Wondering if the cervix is worth fighting for.)

Oh the orgasms shouldn't be painful, as far as I know. You don't need lubrication to have an orgasm.

The only thing it would have an affect on in this way is making any penetrative pleasure more difficult. But you know by now you don't need to have penetration to have pleasure!

There are some who find orgasm makes it easier for them to lubricate, actually, as well as relaxing their vagina to allow for easier penetration.

That all said, there are most certainly creams and regular lubricant that can be used to help. You can always speak with your doctor about safe recommendations and potential medications they can offer!

mod BP

#sexual health #vaginal health #vaginal lubrication #vaginal dryness #orgasm #sexual activity #reproductive health #asks

[whoneedssexed]

Hi i've been on a long term relationship now for about 6 years already but within those years we never really had that much sex because first, we're on long distance because of our jobs and second i got a pregnancy scare and it made me very anxious so that we haven't had sex for like few years now. But this year i wanna try it again, but when we did it its hard for me to do it again probably because im scared or something which my man really understands it. He reassures me its not the sex what he wants. But i really want to try again but im scared. Help.

Reassure yourself by protecting both of you. Get on birth control of some sort, and use condoms. That makes the likelihood of pregnancy an extremely minuscule possibility.

Relaxation with a lot more foreplay and romantic gestures can help a lot, as well, with easing your fear.

Make things funny! Well, sex itself can already be funny - it makes weird noises and you jiggle and you miss holes and you bonk your head... just remember to laugh a lot! Make funny faces, push each other playfully, chase each other - bring back the air of fun and adoration.

With these things, you can return to the activity with a lot less fear and a lot more joy.

In addition, using general anxiety resources can help as well (link). Because at the end of the day, this is extreme anxiety and paranoia, which can be treated.

mod BP

#asks #pregnancy scare #sexual anxiety #sexuality #sex #sexual activity #anxiety

[whoneedssexed]

Hello everyone, I sincerely apologize for my absence, I've been extremely overwhelmed and exhausted on a regular basis. But I'm using Tumblr a little more again, so I'm trying my best to get back to answering the questions lingering in our inbox.

Please forgive me, I am doing my best.

[whoneedssexed]

Hello. I have some sexual trauma from the past and it's destroyed my mental state and relationship with my body. I want to start therapy to start processing and healing. Do you have any tips on finding a mental health professional that specializes in sexual trauma? And any tips on questions to ask or what to expect? I hope this wasn't an inappropriate ask and thank you for any guidance you may give me.

There are typically local counseling groups that will specialize in sexual trauma. But there are also some online, as well as resources for finding one - for example, Psychology Today has a search engine for finding one near you, and of course there is the amazing RAINN.

Or, you could see a regular therapist, and open up when you feel comfortable. It really depends on what you are looking for.

It is also worth noting that shopping for a therapist is awkward at best, and discouraging and off-putting at worst. I encourage you to keep trying even if it becomes the latter. It can be so very hard to find someone you trust well enough and don't feel dismissed by, but you always have the right to leave and try again.

As for questions to ask... hm... I guess I'm not sure about that? When I am testing a new counselor, I typically just bring up what's immediate. It can take some time to make a determination on them for me, sometimes a few weeks to a few months before finally giving up on them. It really depends on their reactions to any confessions or issues I bring up with them, generally trying to start with minor things and slowly coming out of my shell or becoming frustrated or disgusted enough to quit.

(There was one man who was a pretty immediate quit, though, since he was being homophobic right into our second session. Sometimes they are so kind with throwing the red flags at you right off the bat.)

What to expect typically ends up some base questions. GOOD therapists will never pry where you don't want them to. If your therapist is being pushy and demanding then it's time to leave, ESPECIALLY if it's really soon in your relationship.

Base questions often start with, "How are you doing today?" and "What brings you here?" and some general health history questions, such as if there's a history of abuse in your life, a history of mental illness in your family, taking a look at potential cycles of abuse in your family history, etc. Additionally, they may ask about some physical health things, as sometimes those can exacerbate any issues you're having (for example, my fibromyalgia tends to sap my energy and affect my mood, so it's always at the back of my counselor's mind when I'm talking about negatives). Psychosomatic symptoms may be explored in general, as trauma can result in various ailments.

As thing progress, a good therapist will prod you gently to find out the best ways to help you, exploring various methods of treatment. They should always be prepared to change and be flexible to how you are best pulled out of your problems. Worksheets, meditation, helping you explore hobbies, suggesting places to be to build confidence and a sense of community, EMDR, aromatherapy, sleep hygiene, the list goes on and on about things they may direct you through to find where the issues are best dealt with. There may be many ways to help you!

If our lovely followers could share their experiences, I'm sure anon would appreciate it!

PS - a few more resources:

Resources from the National Sexual Violence Resource Center

Resources from the Administration for Children and Families

UK Sexual Abuse Resources

Rape Crisis Network Europe

Sakhi for South Asian Women

mod BP

#sexual abuse #sexual trauma #trauma #ptsd #body image #self image #mental health #coping #therapy #sexual violence #counseling #cptsd #sexual abuse resources #mental health resources #trauma resources

[whoneedssexed]

i hope everyone with acne, eczema, vitiligo, psoriasis, dermatitis, and skin conditions have a good day today

#self love #self image #skin health #healthism

[whoneedssexed]

#lgbt #lgbt positive #positive