Boldly Beautiful
23 - I love things that plunge me into an existential crisis. Not bad at writing either.
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whenweloveagain · a day ago
Take A Look At My Face (Sam Wilson x Reader)
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"You're such a quick girl (Y/N)."
"Are you here to kill me?"
The mighty Titan. Who would have thought it? Here in his tent, slicing vegetables like some kind of Intergalactic Chef. And yet despite everything . . . Tentatively, you step closer. His face is scarred, his eyes downcast. This place is little more than a tent in a field.
"You promised me I would learn to live without love," you murmured. "So I tried to live as you wished me to. The result? Sam is dead. And I have never known pain like this. Why? Why did you not fulfil your promise?"
He sets the plate down. "It is true (Y/N). I wanted greatly to free from your sensitivity. From your aching pains. But to transfer your consciousness to an android body would have taken away what I admired most about you."
Instantly his neck is at the point of your sword. "Another game? What then? What did you admire most about me?'
Not a muscle moves. "I told you. Your heart. Your fire. And passion." He slaps your sword away with a sinister laugh. "Don't pretend you are sad. Your time with the human was always limited. I simply cut the string earlier than intended. He was a rat. I thank the stars every day that he never . . ."
"I'm carrying his child Father." There it is. The twisting of the lips, the clenching of the jaw and the only indication of anger you have seen since you arrived at the Garden. And guess what? You're addicted to it. "Yes there it is. Your worst fears. That I would grow to be a god like you. That I defiled myself with one of the humans you hate, that he touched me, and kissed me, and made love to me . . ." Every word you utter sees him turn a shade darker. "And yes. I loved him. I loved him more than I have ever loved you. If you want to kill me, now is the chance. You have the power. Kill me. And spare me from the dark days ahead."
Like a deflated balloon, he sags against the ground. A huff. "Fight all you wish. You think I call you daughter because I took you in? You know nothing. I call you daughter because I see more of myself in you than in any of my other children . . ."
"Liar!" The kick lands squarely against his face. The crunch does not satisfy you before you are punching him with all the force you can muster. "This was you! Everything I am is because of you and now Sam's dead and there's no one left to save you from me!"
"You will always be like me. That is enough."
You start chuckling. And then it hits you. Could he be right? Look at how quickly you leapt to defend yourself. To kill him. Look at what you are doing. You enjoy the blood as much as he did. The only difference is that you deny it.
"Take a look at my face," you growl as you let him drop to the floor. "Someone somewhere is coming for you. I may not be able to bring Sam back. But I want you to know that everything he stood for, the very ideals you spat on and dragged through the mud, I will proudly carry. Know that. And remember me well."
When you leave, you do not look back.
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whenweloveagain · a day ago
Me singing Think Of Me from Andrew Lloyd Webber’s Phantom of the Opera.
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whenweloveagain · 2 days ago
You Know How Much I Love You (Loki x Reader)
Notes: TVA Loki variant
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- This is a love story. But like all love stories, what makes it beautiful is not that it lasts forever.
- The man you loved was called Loki. He wasn’t a man at all as a matter of fact, but a Frost Giant brought under the protection of Odin All-Father of Asgard.
- It seemed that no matter what, you could not seem to put him far from your thoughts, nor you from his. The first time he kissed you was a moment that echoed down through the years ahead, not least because Thor caught you and the shock of it was so sudden that you tumbled back into the fountain and got drenched.
- When he asked you to marry him, you knew what you were getting into. There are only so many times you could look into a person’s eyes and fail to see a broken heart. But you knew one thing. Without him, there would be two broken hearts. You were the piano, and he was like the melody making your ears dance along.
- And then one thousand years later, the time came for Thor to become King.
- “Are you alright my life?” For that is what you would call him. Your life. Your reason.
- “It should be me up there.”
- “Loki . . .”
- “He’s an arrogant buffoon (Y/N). The nation is surely doomed with him as King.”
- “Being King won’t make undo the pain you have felt Loki. Don’t try and perform for them. Being King will never buy their love. You have mine. That’s all that matters.” Little did you know the wheels had been set in motion and you were too late.
- When he turned on his brother, you were there begging, begging on your knees for him to stop. To come back. When Thor let him go to the darkness of the abyss, it was by a hair’s breath that he stopped you from jumping to join him. When you found out that you were with child and in your agony, lost the only remnant of him left that you had, you decided to leave Asgard. Too many memories. Perhaps a new home would give you a new start.
- In Midgard, you were happy for some time. You lived through the Battle of New York and eventually, some time later, after your dear friend Frigga was gone, you returned to Asgard. Within a year, Hela arrived and the streets went dark and the scent of fear descended.
- And one day, like a bad dream, like alcohol on an open wound or a slap around the face, he was there. Dressed in this strange brown jacket, with this serious looking man in a dark suit.
- “Loki?”
- The look on his face when he sees you will never be forgotten. His step towards you is met by two steps back.
- “What are you doing here? Who is this?”
- “Don’t . . .”
- “(Y/N), you’re going to die if you stay here.” You roll your eyes but he doesn’t stop talking. “You have to come with me.”
- Tentatively, you touch his face. You don’t know why but it makes you tearful. “Frigga told me such a thing was possible.”
- “(Y/N), listen to me! You can be mad at me later, you can yell at me all you want but you have to come with me NOW!”
- Staring at the man accompanying him, you shake your head. “I’ll never be mad at you again. I’ll never yell at you again. I can already feel it. All the moments we are ever going to have are gone.” May you never forget this day. Aren’t people supposed to be afraid when they know they will die? Why then do you feel so serene? “Goodbye my life. You know . . . you know how much I love you.”
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whenweloveagain · 8 days ago
For A Lie (Tech x Reader)
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- Once upon a time, there was a girl who believed that she could conquer the world. How she enjoyed those days growing up, when the world seemed to fit her every whim. A place. A safe place in her mind where no one could harm her.
- Your intelligence and hard work meant that very quickly, you ascended the ranks of the Republic, becoming the youngest senator since Padme Amidala to speak for your home planet. To make things better.
- It was on the ruins of Orto Plutonia that you met the man who changed you permanently.
- “Senator (Y/N).” The Chairman gestured for you to sit. “A pleasure to finally meet the woman who has done so much for us.”
- “Chairman Ontomarda. Do you know why I’m here?”
- “To discuss diplomatic relations between our respective planets of course. The question I have is, are you willing to give me what I want?”
- You grab his hand before it touches your thigh. “The question I have Chairman, is what made you betray the Republic?”
- The smile drops from his face. “I beg your pardon? These are aggravating words.”
- “Money? Women? Power and prominence? Did you think you could sell out the innocent to help profit for the guilty?”
- His bodyguards linger at his side. That silly sneer seems to comfort him as he chuckles, rising to his full height. “You know, such a beautiful woman shouldn’t travel alone.”
- “First thing you got wrong. I’m not alone.”
- Taking down this particular sector of the Crime Syndicate was the first of many jobs in which you used your political affluence to help the Bad Batch finish a job. 
- “What’s up with you?”
- Tech swallowed. “There’s nothing ‘up’ as you say. I’m glad you’re well.”
- “’I’m glad you’re well . . .” You punch his arm playfully but find the smile is not quite meeting his eyes. “Have I done something to upset you?”
- “No. It’s fine. Put it out of mind.”
- “But . . .”
- Only later when everyone was asleep and you were heading back to Coruscant did you find anything out. Hunter was in the cockpit. He never sleeps at night. You think it’s because the silence leaves him alone with his thoughts.
- “Hunter?”
- “Senator . . . (Y/N). What’s keeping you up?”
- “I’ll be quick since you’re so busy. What’s Tech’s problem with me? This isn’t like Orto Plutonia is it?”
- “Where he almost took a man’s throat out for hitting you? Who knows? Listen (Y/N), I’ve been thinking . . . you’ve done a lot of missions for us, with us. You’ve been a tremendous help.” Waiting for the penny to drop. Can he see the beginning of tears in the dark? 
- “But?”
- “I think you know. We’re bound by the same laws (Y/N). Tech’s developing feelings for you. And we can’t be in relationships, we can’t have lovers.”
- “But what about Cut . . .”
- “He gave up a world that didn’t mean much to him. He’s happy with that. But the Republic is everything to us. You know Tech. Are you going to make him give up everything, for a lie?”
- Your excuses sounded better when you spoke them to yourself. You close your eyes. You’re not a liar. Not to yourself. Not to others. It happened once. Never again. 
- “This is the last time then.” When he says nothing, you take it as confirmation. When you arrive at Coruscant the next day, you come to leave the ship. Tech reaches for your arm, the way he always has. But this time you don’t take it. This time you can’t look. 
- “I’ve been really happy with you Tech.” You don’t look up because you don’t want him to see you cry. “I’ve always admired . . . how you take care of your brothers. And how you take care of me. You’re going to do really amazing things.”
- Those are the last words you spoke to him. 
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whenweloveagain · 15 days ago
All I Am Is Pain (Clint Barton x Reader)
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"How did she die?"
"I told you."
"Yes Clint," you murmur sarcastically. "Yes you did. But since it's a moment I hope never to forget, I hope you can find it in your heart to tell me, just one. More. Time."
'What's this about (Y/N)?" He snaps, lifting his legs from off the table. How many times have you been here, in this exact same spot, laughing with Natasha? And now look at what has happened.
"Don't you raise your voice at me!"
"I will until you start listening to me!" He retorts, doubling his volume. "When are you going to start believing that I did everything I could . . . Don't you walk away from me . . ."
The dollar builds tumble to the counter. Your drink remains unfinished as you storm out of the cafe with tears in your eyes. Clint starts at the sight of them. It even gets you a look resembling pity. A look you detest.
"Don't pity me Clint. I've got no use for it."
"How do you know it's pity for you?" He whispers. Despite his quietness, the note of sadness in his voice does not elude you. "I lost Nat. Now I'm watching the love of my life walk away from me."
"Don't call me that Clint," you answer. Those eyes wrack themselves in their surprise. "You've had lovers before me. We've got eight billion people back on the planet just like before. Hell. You forgot about Nat easily enough. What's one more?"
You could not have prepared yourself for what you saw next. For the little velvet box he pulls from his pocket. Or the dazzle of the diamond as he opens it.
"Clint . . ."
"(Y/N) . . ."
"Don't ask me to marry you . . ."
"You and Nat were everything to me. You still are. You don't know what you did to me. After the funeral, it's like the woman I knew died and you replaced her. You don't talk to me anymore. You don't smile at me anymore. When I can get you to look at me, all I see is pain. You're right. I'm not going to ask you to marry me. Not when I've seen what you can become."
"All I am is pain!" You bark. "I went with Tony and Steve remember? I got to retrieve the mind stone, and in the process of smuggling it out, I had visions. Visions like you have never seen, never will, never would want to see. The world forgot about Natasha. Now we're back to tripping over our toes and pulling the same old rubbish that we did before we disappeared. Not this time . . . Not this time . . ."
"(Y/N), are you ok? Your eyes are glowing. Maybe you should sit down . . ."
"Maybe you should back off. Keep the ring. I've never been better Clint. I feel amazing. The Mind Stone did something to me Clint. I feel stronger than I've felt in years."
"You're not yourself."
"I'm going to make the world pay for forgetting her Clint," you insist. "You're right. I'm not myself. I'm better."
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whenweloveagain · 22 days ago
It's Not Your Fault (Thor x reader) - Part 3
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"Something's got you good."
They were looking out over the ocean near New Asgard. The sky was like a picture painting and he thought of all the times his father spoke of his mother. The blades of grass were dancing in the wind and he was reminded of how your fingers would link together across them. (Y/N). Where are you?
"I'm giving you the throne."
The look on Valkyrie's face was a picture of shock for all of two seconds. "You don't know what you are asking."
"My mother told me that everyone fails at being who they are supposed to be," Thor murmurs. "I know who they wanted me to be. But I won't be that King. I never could. Neither could Loki. But you can."
Dark eyes study his expression. The sadness. "I'm going to be making some changes."
"I expect nothing less."
"And what about you?"
He's doing that thing where he fiddles with his hands again. "I did all of this for her. Now she's not even here."
"You're going to find her?"
"Or die trying."
"Who was the girl's father?"
Ashia means "life and hope." As you watch the young child race around the field, giggling as she flies her kite in the air. She is so beautiful. But she looks so little like you. Her brilliant blue eyes and curly blonde hair make your heart tight.
The man in black next to you takes a seat. Something in the nature of it makes you uneasy. "Who was the girl's father?"
"Gabriel . . ." When you loved me . . . "Gabriel Vardis. He was a soldier . . ." Gods your head hurts.
"That's good (Y/N)." He lays a hand on your shoulder with all the warmth of a snake encircling its prey. "So . . . You have never had other lovers there."
"Oh no. Gabriel was the only man for me . . ." You're seeing white. Your head REALLY hurts. "Wait . . ." His white smile drops. "There was a man. A god . . ."
"Take your pills (Y/N)." He shuffles the pills in front of your face.
"I can't remember his name . . ."
You start crying. "I loved this man so much, and I can't even put a name to his face . . ."
"You're emotional (Y/N). Seeing things. Seeing faces. Remember what happened to you."
"The Snap?" You whisper.
"And more. You've been through some horrible things. Only by taking your medicine and attending your sessions, are you going to get better. And be there, for your Ashia. That is what you want isn't it?"
Where did that glass of water come from? The smile is all teeth, no eyes as he hands you the glass. You take the pills. Gabriel. Gabriel. There has only ever been Gabriel.
Part 1 - https://whenweloveagain.tumblr.com/post/651905472689045504/its-not-your-fault-part-1-thor-odinson-x-reader
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whenweloveagain · 29 days ago
It's Not Your Fault Part 2 (Thor Odinson x Reader)
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"Can you not see? We are all dead."
Dancing in golden rays. With blurry eyes and twisted music. The banquet hall was full of the rancid sound. Instinctively in his panic, he looked for you. And there you were but your gentle eyes were drunk on the sound of this music, your hands grasping frantically in ways you never were capable of.
"(Y/N), what are you doing?"
"Come and dance with me my love!" You giggled. "Come and dance with me."
"(Y/N), I would dance with you until the stars rained down from the heavens, but this isn't you. What is this?"
"You won't dance with me?"
He rushes to wipe your eyes. "Don't cry my love. Don't cry. I . . . I'll dance with you."
But you aren't smiling anymore. "It's too late Thor." You lift his hands, cradle his fingers. He could smell the soft vanilla of your skin, see you waver in the song. What he would have given for his mind to be where you were. "We're out of time."
"What are you saying? Don't say that."
"I love you Thor."
"No!" He grabs you by your shoulders. "I will not lose you. We'll be together forever, just like I promised."
Shaking your head, you finally meet his eyes. Other figures fade. The room becomes silent, and the sickly song fades into oblivion.
Seconds drag into eternity. Your body begins to turn to dust.
"Yes. You did promise me didn't you?"
When he wakes up in the bed, and sees the beer cans strewn around the floor. An aching head, and empty arms that always used to hold you. He used to promise that you would run away together. That you would have the life you always wanted. Now the sight of this place without you makes him sick. When he thinks of you . . . No. No. It should have been him.
Part 3
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whenweloveagain · 29 days ago
It's Not Your Fault Part 1 (Thor Odinson x Reader)
Note: This is a three part series.
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"(Y/N)! No, no . . ."
With a bowed head,your hand began to turn to dust as they rested there for the last time, in his. Your eyes were streaming and you couldn't stop the hate. But let your last words not be filled with hate. Because you already knew how it would go down.
The last thing you saw before the dark was Thor's face stricken with panic. Touching your fingers to his lips, you murmured to your beloved.
"It's not your fault."
If you had been able to see what happened from there, you would have seen the God of Thunder break down and cry. The kind of crying that frazzles the brain and quakes your jaw, and makes your shoulders rack with the agony.
And then silence. That same madness followed him when the time to confront the Mad Titan came.
There they were, standing in Thanos' home. The gigantic monster responsible for your death was being held back by Iron Man and "Carol."
"I used the stones to destroy the stones . . . It almost killed me . . ."
"Better for you if it had."
Tony's face was a mixture of shock and rage as Thanos' head went flying off like a whippet. The blood was saturating the air, it was still on his hands. Still the pain remains.
"What did you do?" Steve says.
"I went for the head."
Those steps away from the body were the heaviest steps he has ever taken. Heavier than carrying his mother's body across the streets of Asgard. Heavier than leaving his father. His hands will never hold you again. Because deep down he knows. Thanos may have delivered the blow, but it's really him that killed you.
Part 2 - https://whenweloveagain.tumblr.com/post/651908138735468544/its-not-your-fault-part-2-thor-odinson-x-reader
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
My Woman (M'Baku x Reader) - PART 1
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Leap! Not to move, but to save yourself. You can't believe yo were that stupid but the exhilaration of the chase is sending fire through your veins. Every time your feet touch the branches, your powerful hands grasping the next tree, racing so hard that the bark falls to the ground as you move along at speed. You feel like Tarzan. Alive, powerful. In a way you can only be by yourself.
You are almost at the border when you see him. It is only a flash but it hits it's mark. You lose your footing on a patch of ice. Pain sears through your hands, cutting, biting. You hit the floor with the taste of blood in your mouth and realise you've bitten your tongue.
When you lift your head, he is just standing there. Standing at an easy six five, possibly more, the man you see before you has always been something of a specimen. His dark striking eyes, the firmness of the jaw line and the fullness of the mouth, and a glint that says he knows it. M'Baku.
"And you are?"
His warriors close in behind him but he raises a hand and they seem to hang back.
"Not your enemy," you insist.
He lowers himself to his knees as only a King could. And that expression tells you all you need to know.
"Then why does such a beautiful woman appear at my doorstep in the middle of the night, and take off running like a criminal?"
You move to open your mouth but it becomes as dry as sand. "Just because I want to tell you, doesn't mean I can."
He continues to stare at you for a few unnerving seconds. When you dreamed that he would finally look at you, you didn't think it would be with such disdain.
"Then you leave me no choice."
"No . . ." You try to lift your leg but cry out in pain. "I can't be captured. Your Majesty, you have to believe me. I'm not your enemy. You have to let me go. Right now . . ."
You don't appreciate the pity in his eyes as you grab onto a nearby tree trunk and fight to stand up on your feet. It is only the prospect of a night in a Jabari prison cell that keeps you biting your teeth, and fighting the urge to pass out.
"Even if I released you, you would never get far. The only way from here is through Waianae and they would skin you alive."
"What are you . . ."
He takes you into his arms and under other circumstances, you would be very pleased to enjoy the moment. But not now. Not now. Now will be the end of you. A downed bird is a dead bird. If you can't get out of here, you know you won't see the end of the night.
"You're not going to let me go?"
A raised eyebrow is all you get in response.
"Then I'm glad you think I'm pretty. Because the next time you see my face, it's going to be crushed beyond recognition."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
Never Say That Again (Crosshair x Reader)
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"Cross . . ."
"Why do you love me?"
There was blood on his hands. The skin a flushed red as he tries to scrub it off in the river. The pale water was running with scarlet.
"Cross, it was an accident . . ."
"She's dead (Y/N)!" Clenched fingers grasp your shoulders as he tries to push you, to compel you. To make you fear him as everyone else has done. "Don't you see? It's all because of me! The reason they're chasing us is because of me, and you . . . ."
Your eyes fill with tears. "And me what?"
"You can't see that you've fallen in love with a monster."
"Don't . . ."
"You don't belong with me (Y/N)."
"Stop it . . ."
"You belong with someone who can love you properly."
Something snaps. His eyes widen tenfold when you scream at the top of your lungs.
"I said stop it!" You yell. "This is my life, mine! And I decide who I get to love and if you're going to go ahead and penalise yourself for taking a life, then guess what Cross? Every single one of your brothers, plus me, is guilty guilty guilty. Cross . . ." You take his head in your hands. "Never say that again. Promise me you won't ever say that again."
He was so warm when he rested his forehead on yours. "(Y/N)?"
"We both know I'm going to break your heart."
"And we both know you're my life, and I don't care."
"(Y/N) . . ."
"He shot Wrecker?"
"(Y/N), you really need to breathe . . ."
The medical droid hums at your side. That thing hasn't let you alone all day. "She is going into labour . . ."
"I know!" You hiss angrily. "But Hunter . . ." Through heavy breaths you grab his hand. You have to know. "He didn't kill him?"
"No but . . ."
"He never misses," you huff. "He's still in there . . . Hunter . . ." You touch his cheek. "I'm going to have this baby. And then we're going to get Cross back. You'll see."
After a long 14 hours in labour, you held your son. Your hands were shaking. But you held this gift, this treasure, like it was everything. It's not too late to have the future you always wanted, with the man you promised to love.
Looking at those eyes stirs resolution in the innermost corners of your heart. You have always been a lover and not a fighter. But it has to be this way now. You have to fight for what you love.
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
Worse Than Him (Dark Loki x Reader)
Warnings: Yandere behaviour, blood, violence (not explicit)
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"What do you want?"
"You (Y/N). It's always been you."
You turn on your side, trying to dull the pain in your stomach by clutching it. To no avail. You are still in the dark, your blood smells as metallic as it always does, and the betrayal sits like a rock in your throat.
"Me? What does that mean?"
"It doesn't suit you know." His face was obscured by shadows. All that could be seen was the streak of a finely moulded jaw and perhaps the edge of the world's most sinister sneer.
"Loki . . . Don't start.'
The prison bars were the only thing between the two of you. But as he rises to his full height, moving across the cell like a panther. "(Y/N), come now pet. You sought refuge with these humans because you thought they could protect you from me. But these bars will not hold me forever, and the weapon that can keep me from you has not, will not, ever be built. Ever.'
"Who do you think you're talking to eh?" You counter back. "Your dog? Maybe one of your side chicks? I'm not the person I used to be. I've changed. I-I've recovered from all the things you did. And I'm happy."
The God of Mischief stares at your sleeping form. Look at how magnificent you are. Even in your defiance.
He knew when he first saw you that you would be the undoing of him. Something about you. The way you smell of vanilla, the silkiness of your laugh. The way your eyes mirrored the Sun when you smiled. Could you not see that all he wanted was you? Your touch? Your love? For you to look at him the way you looked at all those other fools, those buffoons who weren't worthy of you.
Even now while you sleep in the darkness, his fingers skim your face. The only time when your features aren't twisted with hate.
"I love you . . ."
The gasp as you wake, almost hitting your head on the bed board as you scramble to get away from him.
"I told you to stop doing that."
"You told me to stop doing a lot of things. And yet . . ." You jerk your hand away as he reaches for it. "I can never seem to resist you. I think it's time you stop resisting me." You say nothing. A subtle sign that you are still fighting.
"Tomorrow my (Y/N), we're getting married. We won't have to hide anymore. We can go anywhere, among every people in the Nine Realms, and no one will ever question who you belong to. Our day has finally come."
His expression falters. "Again."
"I said . . ." Your eyes level with his. "No!"
A lightning bolt of silver, the knife pummels into his stomach.
"That's for my mind." You drag the knife to the left as his yells take over the room. The blood saturates your fingers but it's been so long. "That's for the family you made me lose. And this." Up from the bed, you press a kiss to the expanse of his cheek. "Is to remind you that I'm the one that hit you where it hurt. I hope this hurts, like you hurt me."
The sound of his body hitting solid metal is everything you didn't know your soul needed. Maybe he'll live. But as you clutch the knife, nab the key, and bolt down the corridors, you can't help but start laughing. He's right. You're nothing like him. You're worse.
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
We Are Forever (Zemo x Reader)
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"Baroness . . ."
"(Y/N), please."
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."
The coffin was too small. You cast your gaze to Helmut but he was eerily silent. The coffin was too small.
Your gloved hands ran along the wood. Took in the little flowers. There were a few people off to the side, weeping. Maybe they were paid. It certainly seems stupid to think that anyone could care about a little backwater family who were just trying to make their way in the world when they had been kicked out.
"My little star," you whispered, resting your head on the coffin. "Forgive your mother now."
"(Y/N) . . ."
"I won't leave you alone." Helmut reaches for your arm but you shut him off. "We'll be together soon."
"What are you doing here?" You spit. "Get out."
Rocking that stupid cup of cherry blossom tea. Hans isn't coming back. Your second boy, Daniel is almost six. It still sickens you that people said you'd lost Hans but still had one spare.
"You've known me all your life yet you still think you can tell me when to come and go."
""I . . ."
"How is our son?"
Part of you yells that Daniel is not his son. He was gone. A victim of his own blind hate, of his own blind rage and you. You could not stop yourself going over the rails, let aione him as well.
"Daniel is well," you murmur, gasping as you realise he's stood and began to walk towards you. "He's happy. Don't touch me, don't . . ."
He brushes a tear from your face as you turn from him. "Won't you say my name anymore?"
You wipe your eyes. "You name is on the divorce papers."
"I'm not leaving you."
"No. I'm leaving you."
"So that's what we come to is it?" He sneers. "We've kept every promise we ever made to each other. After I've killed for you, and worshiped you, and made love to you . . ."
"Didn't you hear?" You growl. "The depot in Munich got destroyed. You have nothing on me anymore. Nothing on my family anymore. No reason for me to stay your wife. I'm free of you. Now pick up the divorce papers, grab your junk, and get out of my house."
Your heart was waiting for his counter. And not long after he's taken the papers and his hand is on the door knob does he speak.
"You wake up every day at 7am, from your apartment in Manhattan. You wash and dress and have toast and orange juice for breakfast. At 8am, you take the route past the barber shop to take Daniel to Longheath where he meets a private tutor. You pick him up at 3 . . ."
"What's the point?" You manage to say.
"You forget me (Y/N). You forget what I used to do. I don't need a depot to have anything on you. You push the divorce and Daniel's in the wind. I told you we are forever."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
Not For Them (John Walker/US Agent x Reader)
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The sound of your brother's death will forever haunt you. It is like your heart broke before Karli threw the kick. Threw the kick. Like he was a rag doll.
You and John rush to Lamar at the same moment.
"Lamar," you whisper. "Please, please talk to me . . . Lamar . . ." His blood is warm. His blood is warm. You're already trying not to cry as you place your ear against his chest, trying to find something, some indication that he is ok. "Lamar . . ."
The stare that John gives Karli far outnumbers yours. You've seen that look before. Written in blood.
"John . . ."
"You . . ."
The haze is broken. Karli crashes through the opposite window. John doesn't miss a beat before following her and you . . . What will you tell Ma and Pa?
"Lamar, oh Lamar, oh . . ." You rest his head on your chest. You feel sick.
"I'm going after Walker." The Winter Soldier makes for the door but you intercede.
"No. I'll stop him."
Falcon doesn't look happy. "What, so you can kill the girl too?"
"If her neck happens to be exposed and my knife happens to find it, I'll call it a good day, yes."
"I'm not going to let that happen," he counters.
Resting Lamar's head back on the pilar, you shake your head in disappointment. "Then maybe it's time I give you a lesson in just how powerless you actually are."
You don't bother waiting before turning to the broken window and making the jump. Your senses are buzzing. The streets seem empty, the air seems heavy, as if everyone and everything can sense how disturbed you are. And the speed? You can hear the footsteps. Frantic footsteps.
One of the Flag Smashers in the square. His face is streaked with blood. He looks terrified. John bolts.
"No!" You yell. "No John, no!"
You physically have to block his way before he stops and even then, you cannot be sure he won't just weave around you.
"Get out of the way (Y/N)!" He moves to push you but you grab his arms.
"Make me John!" You hiss. "He didn't do it."
"You ever heard of guilty by association?"
"And all they will see is Captain America cutting down a defenceless child John, please, please. You'll ruin your reputation, you'll ruin everything!"
"I don't care . . . ."
"I'll do it!" You say.
"If you want him gone so badly, I will do it. But if they see you kill him, everything will come down on your head."
He falters. "(Y/N) . . ."
In the background, the Flag Smasher is getting away. When did the atmosphere change? You feel his muscles tense under your fingers, read the resolve in his face.
"John . . ."
"You're not giving up anything else for me (Y/N) . . ."
He does get around you. He did all of that. The scene played out as if it had been scripted. You were there when that stupid shield leaked the blood all over the pavement slabs and the world managed to snap it.
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
You're Not My Bucky (Bucky x Reader)
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"No no no . . ."
You were running. He's there. You know he's there! You know he's there! He just can't leave you alone, he's always spreading, like a cancer, consuming you and your life and everything you ever cared about . .
Bursting through the upper floor of the Russian Embassy . . . The man he has pinned hits the ground. Every time you show up, you have his full attention. And you wouldn't have it any other way.
"What's wrong Soldier?" You growl. "You look live you've seen a ghost."
You dodge the first knife. Your arms rise as his full weight descends upon you. Drop as he aims for your ribs. He's fast. And strong. And every time you're about to hit, he's blocking and every time you're about to hit, he's dodging. It's like knowing all the steps to a dance you've done a thousand times before. Because he's an insult.
"Give up!" Your shout snaps his concentration for one second long enough. Elbow up like a battering ram. It strikes his jaw with a crack. The twisting kick follows. BANG! As fast as he's down he's up like a yo-yo.
"You aren't the goal," he warns you. Look at how you can take all that gentleness, all that handsome charm that Bucky had, and twist it into something so warped. Something that spits in the face of everything he stood for.
"No," you say. "But I've got your attention on me now. And you better not take it off."
His laugh hits you like shards of glass. "I know you."
"And I knew you. But you're not my Bucky, you're just the thing that killed him."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
When You Kissed Me (Crosshair x Reader)
Warnings: ANGST
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You slap your arm around the girl and sit down. What does she see? Does she see what you see?
"Is Cross . . . Is he . . .."
Whatever crosses her mind, she does not share it with you. "I tried."
"Yeah." Hunter raises an eyebrow at the two of you as you drop your voice. "Me too kid. Me too."
"Omega!" You yell across the blaster fire, dropping down from the roof and gambolling across the stone. "Get back to the ship!"
A blaster bolt narrowly misses you but Omega is hanging in the alley way.
"But you . . ."
You're pinned down like a womp rat in a barrel. You can't believe you let yourself be so stupid.
"Don't wait for me! Get out of here!" Her hesitation will be her undoing so you stare her dead in the eyes. "Now soldier. That's an order." Looks like that's the only promise you're capable of keeping. The hairs on the back of your neck stick up.
"Might I offer you some advice?" The familiar red dot is fixed on your chest. A cruel sneer marks his face as Crosshair appears in view across the street. "Don't bother running."
You've seen him covered in blood that wasn't his. You've seen him thrashing about in his sleep. You've even seen him only once, on the verge of tears. You would take any of those over what you are seeing now. The living dead.
"Cross . . . You found us."
"I suppose I should thank you good Doctor. Without you, I would never have found the other traitors."
"What are you . . ." Your heart runs as ice.
"You took the tracking implants out of the clones," he murmurs. "But you never thought to check for one on yourself. Now you'll die with them. I got everything I wanted from you (Y/N). Now your usefulness is almost over."
"What about when you kissed me?"
The flash across his eyes is the first indication of a falter. "I never . . ."
"Yes you did. What about when you made love to me, do you remember?"
The sniper lowers slightly. "I was only using you. You're nothing but a tool to infiltrate unit 99 again . . ."
"You're lying."
"No!" He levels the gun at you again, gritting his teeth so ferociously that you fear they might snap. "You're twisting things. None of that happened. You're trying to get into my head."
"Cross . . ." He winces but does not resist when you squeeze his forearm. "Cross I love you. I'm going to make you better again. I promise."
"Good soldiers follow orders!" He yells, ripping your arm off with force. "Now are you coming in the easy way, or the hard way?"
You don't bother telling him what you told Hunter. Maybe you can make one thing right, and give them the time to get away with Omega. Maybe you can make one thing right.
"The easy way it is I guess."
He snaps the handcuffs onto your wrist, not willing to meet your eyes.
"What?!" He growls.
"I'll never stop fighting for you. I love you. Always."
He drags you to your feet, biting on the toothpick. "Well I don't love you. Now walk."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
I'll Never Be Without You (Hunter x Reader)
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"Who is he?"
You blink. "What?"
Your brother straightens off his armour. Jai is an excellent bounty hunter. A protector. A man who has always been there for you, but there is one problem with Jai - he knows too much about you. And he knows it.
"The man who keeps calling on you (Y/N). Did you think I wouldn't find out?"
"I kept no secret from you Jai," you insist. "And you insult me. I'm a grown woman now. And I don't need to be spied on."
Jai sneers. "And you thought I'd overlook the fact that a defective clone is sleeping with my sister . . ."
"He's not defective!" You snap. "Jai, do not push me. You have something you say, you say it and go."
"Is this about what happened with Mom? Acting out . . ."
"Stop it . . ."
"Running out on your family . . ."
"Stop it . . ."
"Are you going to whore around like her too . . ."
"Shut your mouth!" He has you pinned long before your hand reaches him.
"I told you never to attack in anger (Y/N). That defective clone could have had any woman he wanted on a job like his, but you're still stupid enough to think that he chose you."
"Let go of me," you wince, your face pressed up against the cool of the floor.
"Here's my question. When are you going to wake up?"
That night was the night you ran away. And you didn't tell Jai or Hunter, or anyone. Because he was right. You didn't know what Hunter did when he was away from you. Your mother had left. Your father was dead. And Jai was all you had but you heard his words yourself. Wake up. No one wants you around anymore.
And it was going well. You settled in the Outer Rim with what little money you had. But three months in, you started getting sick.
It was in the market place on Felicia where fate came up.
"Did you think I wouldn't find you?"
You gasp as familiar hands encircle your waist, pulling you close against a firm chest and a smell you knew all too well.
"Hunter . . ."
"What are you doing here love?" He asks, turning you around to face him. "I thought you said you'd wait for me."
"Is it fun?" You ask. "Your job?"
He doesn't rise to the bait. "(Y/N), you're shaking. You're afraid. Look at me." You do with reluctance. "Do you remember what I said to you the last time I left?" When you don't answer, he carries on. "You are mine. I am yours. Wherever I go, if it's one rotation or a hundred, I'll always come back for you. And i don't care why you left, you still love me. I can sense it."
"My brother . . ."
When he kisses you, you forget about Jai. You forget about what he said. About waking up. If this is a dream, you'll never wake up. You swear, you'll never wake up.
"Hmmm?" He rests his forehead on yours.
"I'm pregnant."
A soft laugh. "I know love. I know."
"But . . ."
"It doesn't change anything. I still want you to come with me. I'll find somewhere safe."
"Hunter?" You slip your arm through his.
"Yes love?"
"I'll never be without you."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
There's Always One (Damian Wayne x Reader)
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It is only by a hair's breadth that you manage to slip out of the corridor. My goodness. That was a close one. He almost saw you. And that would have started a long conversation about why you are avoiding him. Conversations that are best had, hmmm, let us think . . . NEVER.
The bustle of the school is deafening. There's a thousand and one thoughts going through your head. Is the photo genuine? What will he do if he realises it was you that took it? Is Batman coming for you, is he going to take you down into that dark mouldy cave and do away with you, and . . . .
"Hey!" One sound is that of your books hitting the ground. The next is you following them. "Look where you're going stink bomb!"
Oh snap. It's one of the older kids. You know how jacked up on their hormones they are, but it really does make it difficult to survive these corridors.
"I don't stink," you swallow. You're pretty sure. Like, ninety nine percent. "And you weren't looking where you were going."
The guy just cant seem to believe someone spoke back to him. One of his side chicks grabs his arm but he shakes them off. And here we go . . . He steps so close to you that you can see the white's of his eyes.
"I don't stink," you whisper again like a broken record.
"Not yet you don't."
Your screams go unnoticed or uncared for. It;'s not your fault you're small and he's big and that's how the story always goes. And you always promise that these nasty pep,e wont get a drop of a tear off of you but come on . . . Why does no one help? You know why? It's because no one cares.
"Let go of me!" You may as well be a toothless dog for all the good the struggling does. And the dumpster is coming into view. And if anything happens to these jeans, Dad will be angry, and when Dad gets angry, he gets nasty.
You are almost in the dumpster when it happens. You hit the sidewalk on your ample behind. The guy hits the sidewalk and cruises . . . On his jaw.
"What the . . . Oh no . . ."
Damian offers you his hand but you just end up staring at it. "(Y/N). Take my hand."
"Dude you totally knocked him out," you huff, pulling yourself to your feet. "I'm grateful and all but . . ."
"He's fine," Damian says, his lips twisted in a grim expression. "Don't you know? Lying facedown on the sidewalk is just one of those things people do to reset and take the stress out of the day."
At your horrified expression, he clears his throat. "That was meant to make you laugh. He'll be fine (Y/N)." Right on cue, the guy rolls over with a loud groan. "See. I trust you do not wish to be here when he wakes up."
"No. I have classes. See ya. Thanks for the save."
Just before you're free, he takes your arm, whirling you around to face him. You aren't normally that close to anyone. And Damian . . . Well, you could see his face for the thousandth time and still gawk.
"I know it was you in the alley way (Y/N)," he whispers. "You need to delete that photo and any others you took."
"I already did!" You hiss, snapping yourself free from his grip with more aggression than you thought you possessed. "Here's the camera, check it if you don't believe me. Now excuse me."
"What changed between us (Y/N)?!" He glowers, blocking your path.
"Don't play coy. We did everything together. Now I can't even get on the same corridor as you without you ducking out the way . . ."
"Oh you saw that . . ."
"And I want to know why. You're not leaving until you tell me why."
"Well . . ." Your mouth goes dry. The words you want to say aren't coming because everyone else you cut from your life went without a fight. But there's always one . . . So you push down the sadness, meet his icy gaze. "I've been very busy. And that's all there is to it. And why would you even think that I've been avoiding you Damian? It's a big school. You flatter yourself."
You manage to edge out from behind him before he comes up with something else.
"Good. I'll find you for lunch then."
This cutting yourself off isn't going as well as you had hoped.
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
Do Better (Steve Rogers x Reader)
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Stark's funeral has long since drawn to a close. Now they are powering up the time machine again. And guess who has descended from on high to go through.
''I have to go.''
''Wait . . .''
You stand up with tears in your eyes. You cannot believe that you fell for it. He loves her. He has always loved her.
"(Y/N) . . ."
"Did you think about her when we were together?"
Steve is silent. "Hey, we were happy together weren't we?"
You whirl around so quickly that you almost slap him. "Yes Steve, I was happy. Like most people are happy when they think that they're loved. And don't try and change the subject." The equipment begins to be readied, Sam and Bucky are making their way over.
"Can you honestly say that you've never hurt anyone to work out your own happiness (Y/N)? I've been here, living this life for my country, never once thinking about myself. I just tried to do what was right for everyone else. And I'm sorry that the decision I'm making now doesn't make you happy. But you'll love again . . ."
Trillions of people have come back. Dear Tony has lost his for them to be so. But how could you have foreseen how your life would crumble? Look at him. Look at his blue eyes and his face, sad and downcast. You thought behind those eyes was a soul that was singing the same song. Now it turns out you were singing "At Last" and he was singing "Peggy's the Gal for me." You snort.
"Ring." You slip his engagement ring off your finger. "Hand." You slap it into his palm. "I'd like to add 'finger' to the list but let it not be said I wasn't classy about it. Steve?" His gaze is fixed on you. "Love her loyally. Love her with everything you have to give. And maybe, by whatever powers above there are, you'll do a better job loving her than you've done me."
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whenweloveagain · a month ago
Hushed Prayers (Bane x Reader) - Part 3
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- You aren't afraid of death. Death is the only thing of a which a woman like you can be sure. Once the past catches up. But it would appear Bane was right. You have only just touched the surface of pain.
- The journey out from under the anaesthesia is painful. It is slow, like wading through tar. And when you find yourself emerging into something resembling full consciousness, you realise there are marks on your arms that were not there before.
-"Look at me." You don't process the words until a searing fire bursts out across your cheek and a hand jerks your head. "I said, look at me (Y/N)."
- The man before you is short and unkempt with filthy yellow teeth and a smile that shows no shame. A man you have seen before.
- "I don't believe we have had the pleasure," he simpers, gesturing to his bodyguard who lowers his fist.
- "What am I doing here?" you ask.
- "What are any of us doing here (Y/N)? To find meaning for our lives." His beady eyes fix onto yours. "To give our lives, for a cause that is worthy." No . . . Even then he continues. "Did you honestly think you could turn your back on us?"
- "You . . . what are these words you are speaking? What business do you have with me Aaftab? You're Dartem's man. You're on his side, you only care about . . ."
- "His vision?" Aaftab wrinkled face seems to struggle with the laugh. "Of dominating the East? No . . . we warned you once that you would pay back your debt to us with everything you had. With your every breath, with your every sweat, with every last drop of blood running through your veins. We trained you. And you betrayed us."
- Whether or not he sees the tears, you refuse to let them drop. "You can't hurt me Aaftab. I don't care who your master is. I'm not going back. You'll not change my mind."
- He snaps his fingers and the man with him produces a garment that stops your heart dead in your chest. The lilac scarf. The one that you gave to Alessendra. Your daughter.
- "You . . ." You have not felt such iciness spread through you in forever. "Where did you get that? You had better not have harmed my daughter."
- "She is safe. And if you want her to stay that way, you will do something for us."
- He is dead. You can picture it now. The things you will do with Aaftab and his lackey, the revenge you will take. Now there is no chance for lustrious ideas like redemption, there are no limits to what you can do. "I will do nothing for you. I'm not scared of you little man. I've seen more ambitious men than you. Sooner or later, they collapse. And their absurd ideas with them."
- Leaning forward, Aaftab speaks again. "Perhaps you do not fear me (Y/N). You think that makes you brave but it makes you foolish. You cannot harm me, or your little girl dies. If I don't report back, she dies. And he is coming." You grit your teeth. "When he does, you know what he will choose to do with you, with the girl, with your family. (Y/N). Be smart. I've seen lots of people take their bravery to the grave. Use yours. And perhaps there may still be a chance for you to be free. Your task is easy enough."
- Your shoulders sag in defeat. "The task?"
- "That brute that is always tailing you. It will not be long before he sees through my distraction and realises you are missing. He will come looking. He will find you." Aaftab draws a dagger from his robes. "And when he does, you slit his throat."
Part 2 - https://wonderprincess98.tumblr.com/post/644928770757771264/hushed-prayers-part-2-bane-x-reader
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whenweloveagain · 3 months ago
Hushed Prayers (Part 2) - Bane x Reader
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- “What happened?”
- “Two bodies were found in the sewers Dartem.”
- “And the woman. (Y/N). I assume she was nowhere to be found.”
- “She has never been a problem before. They’ve always roughed her up a bit. But she has never proven to be anything more than a pretty face. Besides . . .”
- “I want the one who killed those two men to answer to me,” Dartem continues. “Find him.”
- “Him?” An uncomfortable silence lingers like rancid sweat. “You do not believe it was her?”
- “Aaftab, it is clear why you are the brawn and not the brain of this operation. We are so close to our freedom. How many have we killed to get this far? Brothers, comrades, soldiers-in-arms? Do you think I will jeopardise this by allowing a hundred pound woman with her broom and her prayers to stop me?!”
- “Of course not Dartem. She suspects nothing. For Loviatar.”
- “For Loiviatar.”
- Your dreams may not be particularly peaceful normally. But the night after him, you feel like a yo-yo. Dumped in the mire of bad decisions and dark people. But when you wake up to see a face above you, a part of you snaps but before the scream is out, his hand is planted against your mouth.
- “If you want to stay alive, you’ll stop resisting me.” Like you haven’t heard that before. Until he says “Please.” With reluctance, you keep your mouth shut and he withdraws his hand.
- “Do you know that man?” He whispers, pulling you further back in the cell as a group of men pass by. You shake your head. He’s the man with the bodyguards. Bodyguards. In a prison. One look from Bane warns you into silence as this man and his squadron pause outside your cell. They look down at the bars. In the light of the stars they appear as if by magic. It is almost hard to tell if they are only mirages. But Bane’s grip tells you they are real as he presses you, the wall to your back and him between you and them. The leader makes a few gestures. The man to his right nods. Whatever language they are speaking, you don’t understand it. And you know a few. They leave as suddenly as they came.
- “You were asleep last time they did that.”
- His scent washes all around you. Sweat, motor oil, and tobacco. You make a note. “You watch my cell when I’m asleep?”
- “This isn’t a joke (Y/N). The leader is called Dartem. He only leaves his cell to give very specific orders. The first time was when Dartem’s sworn enemy managed to escape the pit. He descended from on high to make a personal round to every prisoner in here. They all got twenty lashes and the guard you will find scattered about here and there. The second time was the night before those two men followed you down to the sewers. The third time he lingered outside your cell while you were resting.”
- “What difference does this make to you?” You whisper. “You can walk away now Bane. You said yourself that Dartem is trouble. Why risk your neck to help me?”
- He narrows those dark eyes. For a second you think you detect a sadness but then the wall is there again. “Who says I have a choice (Y/N). Perhaps I only do so to save myself. Dartem has seen us together. If anything happens to you . . .”
- “You reckon you’ll be next? So why delay the inevitable?” You shrug his hands from your shoulders. “I’m not a pity case Bane. And let me tell you, I didn’t come here with the intention of coming out. I’m not afraid of death. I’m not afraid of pain. I deserve anything that happens to me. And doubtless you do too. So why don’t we stop trying to dodge the metaphorical bullet?”
- “Be careful (Y/N),” he glowers, grabbing your chin. “Not every wound can be healed. And I have seen many a strong man rip like a paper sheet under Dartem’s men. You think because you’ve been handled by those men, and it wasn’t your will, that you know about pain but . . .” His fingers drift to your temples, pressing them, caressing them. “You have only touched the surface.” Unwittingly you realise that you had closed your eyes. When you open them the only remnant of Bane is the dagger he’s left wrapped in the bed sheets and the scent of the motor oil.
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