what-is-nvld

[what-is-nvld]

I was like, why when I read professional documents am I so lost and can't figure out what they mean at all. Then I go into a video call or conversation with someone about the same information do I understand.

Mum was like, you mean the main thing your nvld causes. Oops, yeah.

#nvld #non verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent #non-verbal learning disorder

[what-is-nvld]

They don't know how to deal with angry.

They know how to deal with compliance.

My emotions are always stifled, pushed under, to be palatable.

I'm too much when I'm happy and I'm too much when I'm angry and I'm too much when I'm sad.

I yearn to scream, to explore, to be LOUD and unapologetic with who I am.

I've learned for years to be quiet, to listen to instruction, to take the injustices and only care about them in the way that is socially acceptable.

But I am angry.

Because I realise all the ways that I could have been treated better in the past.

But I'm not allowed to be angry, they were trying their best.

Because I don't conform.

I try my hardest to fit in the ideal of productive, what they tell you that you have to fit into to be a worthy contribution to society.

It drains me, I'm tired, It chips away at me slowly.

I'm still angry but I'm also so so tired of fighting.

#mental health #neurodivergent #nvld #adhd #non verbal learning disorder

[what-is-nvld]

you guys know being neurodivergent isn’t just … having interests a little too enthusiastically , right? like you know neurodivergence includes mental illness, right? please tell me you know this

#neurodivergent #non verbal learning disorder #mental health #nvld #recognition of the mental health side #it impacts my life!

[what-is-nvld]

This is an experience I have had that I never expected to be put into words. I didn't do the last paragraph though, I still befriended them and acted how I wanted though I was a little too shy in school lol. I did try to blend in but I still just befriended whoever.

We need to talk about this fear when you see another neurodivergent kid getting mocked behind their back or bullied, and maybe you're not even aware that you're neurodivergent yourself yet, but you have this profound, internal knowledge that you have more in common with this one kid than with all of the others who are mocking him.

So you're just like... Terrified. Because you know you're blending in -for now- but you also know you're right next in line for the bullying. If you do just one thing wrong, if you're just a little bit too weird, if people notice you two have some sort of common point, you'll end up in the same position than them.

So you just use them as a counter-model and try to avoid doing anything that might look like something they'd do. You become overly self-conscious. You think constantly about the fact that you don't want to end up like this one kid. You try to avoid talking to them as much as possible, to avoid befriending them. And every time you do a mistake, every time your natural behavior shows, your mind races like "oh no, I've acted like them. People are gonna see we're alike. They're gonna talk behind my back about it. I'll remind others of them and they'll mock me for it."

#neurodivergent #neurodivergent mood

[what-is-nvld]

It occurs to me that, I need people around to feel okay, and not just people on the internet who I text sometimes or all the time. People who I can hear their voice, have a laugh with, hear both of us having fun. I've been pretty isolated for what, three years now, and it's definitely taking its toll. I leave my house sometimes when I have to, I text people or use discord all the time. I feel bad because I have friends, I would never want to make them feel like they don't do enough. But still, I feel really isolated and lonely.

#neurodivergent #mental health

[what-is-nvld]

I know there's a literacy crisis or whatever but that doesn't give you the right to go after people with intellectual disabilities and people with brain fog and learning disabilities. Sometimes we need help understanding something, we might ask "dumb/obvious" questions. It doesn't mean we aren't trying to pay attention or use critical thinking. Responding to someone's question on the internet with snobby wisecracks about how the person should learn to read or go back to 1st grade is rude at best and ableist at worst. Just ignore the question if you don't want to answer. Don't flatter yourself saying how progressive you are if you turn around and make fun of your friend for asking a question after a movie.

My partner let's me pause and ask questions during shows and movies bc he loves me and wants me to enjoy what we're watching too instead of sitting there confused cause my brain couldn't catch up. Or I lost attention for a few seconds and missed something important.

[what-is-nvld]

ok so hear me out, superpowers as a metaphor for neurodivergency

but like not in the “neurodivergency is a/gives you superpowers” type way

more in a sort of “everyone acts like it’s a superpower and anyone who doesn’t think so isn’t thinking positively enough”

Oh you don’t like being a telepath? Come on! You’ve got a gift there! You’re lucky! Just please stay away from me so you don’t read my mind.

Your fire powers are awesome! You’d stop accidentally setting things on fire if you just put your mind to it.

What do you mean your super gravity powers being treated like rubbish telekinesis gave you lasting childhood trauma? At least you’ve got powers!

You lost your voice pushing your noise amplification powers to the limit? That’s kinda sad but just don’t do that next time! Your powers are still super and your voice will come back for you to do more cool tricks for us with!

[what-is-nvld]

Anyone who is neurodivergent just not feel like your best is good enough. People are always like, try your best and it'll be enough, but it never seems to be enough. It never fucking seems to be enough. And I'm trying so hard to feel like enough but wow is it not easy. I wake up everyday and do my best just to get told that I just need to try harder. I'm trying to feel like enough but it's hard when my best is the equivalent to others first step sometimes.

#vent #non verbal learning disorder #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #i don't have advice or anything #just feelings

[what-is-nvld]

Let’s talk about rejection sensitivity. 

I just interrupted someone in the middle of their work to ask a question that I thought would be easy for them and in fact I already had the answer but was just looking for a little reassurance. 

Of course after a bit they yelled at me because they got distracted and had kept telling me over and over that they needed to focus but I kept asking questions. I know I can be like this. 

But it still hurts when I get yelled at or told to shut it even though I am the one in the wrong and they tried to tell me before. 

So then I feel like crying because I feel like they hate me and idk what to do really. I can’t stop being who I am but who I am is not always compatible with others at all times. 

I also have a deadline to reach this friday and it’s wednesday and I only just started it. I couldn’t get started cause my brain just said no and now I had started but I don’t feel like it again because I was rejected ugh. but it’s okay, I’ll get there eventually lol. 

What do you guys do to help with impending deadlines? or to not feel like people hate you when they tell you to leave because they need to put their focus elsewhere?

[what-is-nvld]

I have been having a bad day today, kinda just locked myself in my room and only just left to have a midday meal and to start dinner because others depend on me for dinner. 

It was making me reflect on like, how people are like, oh get help at the point that it interferes with your life and causes you to lose productivity. I have a deadline coming and that’s probably why I just shut down today. Everything was too much. 

But I dunno, I feel like I should be able to have bad days without others telling me to get medicated. But then, idk if my experiences are like reasonable or if one day I’m just going to break under stress. I’m never sure if it’ll get better or what better is, what I’m hoping for, I’m unsure. 

I’ll make the deadline anyway probably, as long as I start it tomorrow, but it’s never a guarantee that I will want to work today or tomorrow. 

Today I am having a bad day and I will likely feel much better tomorrow. I’ll never not have bad days and I guess it’s just deciding how I want to handle them. 

I don’t know what you should take from this post, just enjoy my ramblings I guess. 

#neurodivergent #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #non verbal learning disorder #I was talking about antidepressants in the reference to medication

[what-is-nvld]

Okay I've been putting off this post and writing here for a bit because I found out that I have ADHD and have since childhood but my parents just never told me. It makes sense to me.

But now I don't know if I can be the nvld person because how can I separate my experiences. So yeah, feedback on like this would be appreciated.

I'm kinda lost on what I'm going to do.

#adhd #non verbal learning disorder #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent

[what-is-nvld]

Really vulnerable post this one, I'm in a depression mood today and finding it hard to get up and actually work.

So I just wanted to reach out to others who may be struggling and say that we will get through this.

#depression #non verbal learning disorder #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent

[what-is-nvld]

So childhood, a crazy time even when you aren't neurodivergent and when you are, wow.

To all the kids who didn't have a better way to explain how you saw or did things differently other than, "it just makes sense this way.", "It just didn't occur to me to ever do it any differently than I have been doing it."

To all the kids who felt like they had to try and explain to adults why their lesson plan or choices just didn't make sense.

To all the kids who had someone look them in the eye and tell them their disability didn't matter or wasn't valid.

To all the kids who wanted stim toys or more help but felt like they had to conform to what all their peers were doing.

To all the kids who didn't enjoy change.

Most of all, to everyone who felt misunderstood during childhood, whether they knew why or not, I hope that you can realise that none of that was your fault and you didn't do anything wrong, that you can live knowing that it's okay that your brain works differently and learn to embrace it in a way that makes sense for you

#these are just my experiences so if they don't fit you 100% or you only relate to some or even just one then that is totally okay! #non verbal learning disorder #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent

[what-is-nvld]

This goes out to all the people with nvld who have been having kind of a hard time.

Remember that just because everyday may not be as productive or have you as ready to face the day as you want, that doesn't mean you aren't still doing well.

Life can feel like a rollercoaster and the fact that you are still here and riding it out is enough.

#non verbal learning disorder #nvld #non-verbal learning disorder #neurodivergent #mental health

[what-is-nvld]

[what-is-nvld]

Also feel free to ask me questions or ask for help with nvld, i may not be able to help but I will try!

#non verbal learning disorder #non-verbal learning disorder #nvld #neurodivergent #neurodiverse

[what-is-nvld]

This, I'm just asking for a little patience in my day to day life.

I hate how obscure my learning disability (NVLD) is. I struggle daily with reading body language, doing puzzles, and other activities that require decent visual-spatial processing. I’ve had people be unnecessarily passive aggressive towards me for not understanding how to complete a task.

I can’t fold my clothes or fill out forms without assistance step by step, but I can talk for hours on end about my interests, and I can make observations on minute details other people tend to miss.

I’ve been praised for my ability to write and have won first place in speech contests for hard of hearing students, yet I’ve been scolded for sounding sarcastic when I don’t mean to be. I’ve been called lazy for being overwhelmed by cleaning tasks that feel daunting because of vague instructions.

My verbal and writing skills mask the struggles I have in other aspects of my life- aspects that seem to have been deemed “more important”. Too often I find myself feeling left out and wondering if I did or said something wrong. No one ever bothers to explain it, and I’m just left to feel like I failed at fitting in and socializing. Like an objective in a video game.

People expect me to know how to do things immediately because of my strong speaking abilities. Then when I don’t understand how to do something as instructed, they’re confused and disappointed. If I need extra time, they act like it’s an inconvenience.

All I ask for is patience, understanding, and flexibility. I know I’m capable of many things, I just may need to find a different technique that works for me. If something is too difficult for me to process, or it requires complex fine motor skills my body can’t seem to execute, please understand that and let me help with something else. I know the limits to my abilities and hope that can be respected.

I know I can achieve great things by utilizing my strengths, but it’s hard to believe that when so much of a focus in a neurotypical world is placed on unspoken social rules that you’re expected to know from day one. And when you don’t pick up on them, you’re an outcast and designated as “weird”.

I’m doing my best but because I don’t fit into neurotypical’s cookie cutter idealist world, my best isn’t good enough.

#nonverbal learning disorder #nvld #neurodivergent #actually neurodivergent #learning disability #learning disabled #existing is hard #I realize this is something many other neurodivergent people experience #I’m trying to raise more awareness about nvld #because it’s barely known and greatly misunderstood #yet it affects nearly every aspect of our lives #non verbal learning disorder