wh0reforthemarauders - Tumblr blog

wh0reforthemarauders · 9 days

Text

Diehard

Pairing: dbf!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel tries Viagra for the very first time.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected p-in-v. Erectile dysfunction. Daddy kink. Praise kink if you squint. Overstimulation. Cumplay. She/her pussy pronouns. Pushing physical limits with a pre-negotiated safe word in place for it.

Note: No more limp dick erasure. We die like [old] men.

Part of the Waiting Game ‘verse | Word count: 986

Joel just wanted to prove he could fuck like he used to.

He didn’t think he’d almost kill you in the process.

“JOEL!” you screeched, heels digging deep in the mattress as your climax came in seismic waves.

The stimulation was insane. Normally the much-older man would have been down for the count after two—and usually one—big O, but now his chest was heaving, hips relentlessly beating a punishing pace against your own.

Your walls were slick with not only your cum but his, milky ropes of his arousal making for an obscene set of sounds every time his dick slid in and out of your cunt. You could feel his balls tighten and twitch with every forthcoming spurt of him, practically reeling with the pulse of each new sticky gift inside you. His groans rumbled low, but the power and pleasure and outright primal fervor they conveyed were unmistakeable. You had to look down, feebly, to believe it yourself—Joel never fucked his way through your orgasm and his.

Then you felt a palm slide up the back of your head, and Joel held it up to make sure you watched him fuck you.

“J-Joel,” you whimpered, watching his girth disappear and reappear at least a half-dozen times as you did.

“Just a little more, honey,” he murmured against your forehead. The smack of each thrust was dizzying, “Want my pretty girl nice and full’a me before she leaves, okay?”

Joel never could let you head back to college without a few of his loads and a head full of filthy memories—something to hold you over until your next visit home. You would’ve liked to mumble back, ‘Okay,’ but then your pussy clenched around him, and his thrusts grew faster.

“My sweet girl,” he grinned, “She likes that, huh?”

You could scarcely manage a nod. The weight of your head was held fully by him, and if that wasn’t indicative enough of your fucked-out state, your face surely said the rest. When Joel leaned back to adjust the angle of his thrusts, he caught sight of your hooded, glossy stare and almost came all over again. He slowed his pace for once.

Then he dipped a finger between your body and his, just long enough to douse the tip of his digit with cum. He bottomed out inside you, watched you part your lips in a gentle gasp, and pressed his touch to that open space.

It was almost like you didn’t have the strength to suck. You just let him smear the sticky stuff along your lower lip, gaze plastered to his. Then Joel’s cock sank deeper.

“O-ow!” you whined, partly reanimated by the stretch.

“You can take it,” Joel grunted.

The double entendre wasn’t lost on you. You could, and would, take his finger and his cock inside. You suckled dumbly on the cum-drenched fingertip in assent.

But when Joel’s finger popped out of your mouth and his thrusts picked back up, you weren’t entirely convinced you would be able to hold up the second half of that deal.

It wasn’t fair. He took one magic pill, and poof, his dick stayed hard for half the fucking day. You had nothing but your youth and two shaking legs to ensure your survival. When Joel worked his cock back and forth a couple more times and it seemed your body was about ready to scream, you took hold of his biceps and squeezed tight.

“I can’t.”

“Can’t what?”

The tip of his cock nicked a soft ridge inside you, and you jolted back. Joel’s palm was still pressed to your head, holding you to him, and his hips had you pinned as well.

Instead of answering, you whimpered.

You didn’t want him to stop, but you also weren’t sure if you could handle any more. Your eyes met his, pleading.

“Can’t what?” Joel pressed, a little more sternly.

Another whimper. Inside, Joel’s cock was rubbing that pleasure point raw, and you felt another climax coming.

“Use your words.”

“Too— too—”

Each new thrust was sending stars before your eyes. Joel was one sick man if he tried to make you talk while he fucked you past the point of all intelligible speech.

“Too what? Tell me, baby.”

You’d get that fucker back someday. Joel just grinned.

“Too much,” you hissed when his hips delivered another mind-numbing push. Then, feeling pleasure threaten to peak at almost a painful degree, “Toomuchtoomucht—”

Joel continued thrusting, knowing damn well you knew what to say if you really wanted him to stop. As if to underscore this point, he tipped your head back and made you hold his gaze, features creased with a frown.

“That sure don’t sound like the safe word to me.”

It wasn’t. You knew it wasn’t. He didn’t need to tell you twice, or even breathe a second word besides. With one more brush of Joel’s thick, throbbing, implausibly hard cock, he sent you over the edge and into your fourth orgasm of the morning, hitting that spot again and again.

And again.

Just like before, Joel fucked you through each wave, catching your lips this time to stifle your cries. You might’ve gone blind for a second or two, but that was alright; the pleasure, proximity, and then the sweet, erratic pulse of his cock sending rope after rope of his cum deep inside made the overstimulation worthwhile.

Your body went limp against the bed, held tight in Joel’s grasp, when you felt that sickly sweet dichotomy of soft, tender touches and a cock lodged between your walls that was as hard as it had ever been. Still trying to console you with kisses, still trying to warm you up for another round, perhaps, Joel almost laughed out loud in your mouth when you groaned into his and whispered:

“Please don’t ever take that fucking pill again.”

#joel miller smut #joel miller

3K notes · View notes

wh0reforthemarauders · 17 days

Text

Tom Hiddleston Characters: What They're Like When They're Drunk

(Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or images. This is just a fun listicle, not designed to offend anyone. As always, please feel free to leave comments and/or constructive criticism below. Also, this is not meant to endorse binge drinking or bad behavior, drink responsibly and only when you're of age. Thank you, and without any further ado, please enjoy!)

Characters in this list: Will Ransome, King Henry V, Prince Hal, Prince Loki Odinson, Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim, Bill Hazeldine, Coriolanus, Jonathan Pine, Robert Laing, Oakley, Magnus Martinsson, James Conrad, Thomas Sharpe, and Jaguar Villain! Tom Hiddleston.

Will Ransome from “The Essex Serpent”

Drunk Persona: The Lusty Vicar

Let me begin by saying that this happens more often than you would imagine. Don’t bother asking Stella because she isn’t the type to say such things about the reverend

Now that I’ve got that out of the way, Will would be most likely to get drunk if he’s drinking on an empty stomach

At a dinner party in Aldwinter, and the host would offer him a glass of wine as soon as he enters the home, just to tide him over until supper is served.

By the time that first glass is empty, the alcohol would start to make the reverend a little less…inhibited. His posture would get more relaxed, his legs would spread a little further, he’d lean back in his chair

But after that second glass of wine before dinner? The reverend would be leering at anyone that happened to be passing by, from the hostess to even a pretty young man whom he was sure he had seen in a confessional booth a few days ago.

He would approach anyone he needed to talk to and get their attention by either placing his hands on their lower back or somewhere dangerously close to their rear.

The hostess would probably turn a shade of scarlet by the way he placed his hands down her hips just to tell her that he liked the food and would like a refill of wine

Eventually, either the doctor or the host of the dinner party would manage to get Will away from the ladies and the youth at the party, placing him in a bed until he got too tired to move his arms.

King Henry V from “The Hollow Crown”

Drunk Persona: Life of the Party

Thanks to the shenanigans from his youth, the king of England has a pretty strong tolerance for alcohol. It would take at least four pints of ale and an entire bottle of wine before he got fully drunk

The king of England would be most likely get drunk at a feast or a ball, somewhere with large amounts of alcohol being served

As the alcohol took its effect with every cup, the king would be humming along to whatever the musicians would be playing, maybe even singing the words under his breath if he knew them

And if you’re ever at a celebration with a drunken King Henry, be prepared to pulled to the dance floor at some point

You see, when King Henry is drunk, he doesn’t just want to have a good time. He wants everyone around him to have a good time too.

Your lover ended things with you? You wore the wrong shoes with your gown? You ate too much of the roasted potatoes? You got into an argument at work? None of it matters, you’re wonderful and it’s time to dance.

King Henry would be willing to dance to anything with anyone. There’s a legend circulating the palace of how Henry once twirled a very pretty blond man at a party and danced with him for two songs in a row. (But don’t tell anyone I told you. I would like to keep my head on my shoulders for now, thanks)

But for all the fun that the king of England is when he’s drunk, it is a pain for the guards to take him to his chambers.

The only way is to wait until he gets drowsy from all the dancing, and then carefully carry him (with one guard getting his arms and the other guard getting his legs) to his bedchambers

Prince Hal from “The Hollow Crown”

Drunk Persona: Lovesick Boy

The Prince of Wales would most likely get drunk at…you guessed it, a tavern.

One can guess that he’s had at least a few cups of the strong stuff when he’s being super extroverted, talking to anyone and everyone who enters Mistress Quickly’s tavern as if they were his best friend

But after he’s downed another three cups of sack (making a not-so-grand total of seven), Hal would turn into the most brooding, lover boy you have ever seen

Sitting by the window, Hal would drink from his cup and stare out at the night sky, declaring under his breath about how you, his beloved, ‘doth teach the stars to shine’

Hal would talk about you to anyone who would listen (usually Poins) in the most rosy language about how perfect you were. How he wanted to hold you close and run his fingers through your hair. How he could picture you, laying in your bed and looking out at that same very night sky that he was witnessing.

Between drinks, Hal would describe your nightgown, or at least what he imagined you would be wearing at night, and the perfume he imagined you wearing to sleep

He compared you with the Lady Venus and said that when God created you, you became His personal work of art…And that somehow led to his great desire to be a pot of lip paint, so that he may touch your sweet lips every day.

Hal’s words may be strings of sentences that don’t seem to make sense as a whole, but they would be filled with the deepest emotions of love for you

Prince Loki Odinson of Asgard

Drunk Persona: Cuddles

Loki may look like he’s a lightweight, but he is not

It takes four or five cups of Asgardian mead before the god of Mischief is filled with more overt joy, laughing at Thor’s antics and cheering on Volstagg’s ability to devour entire loaves of bread and trays of meat

But one would most likely find the Asgardian prince in the gardens or in a more secluded area at some point during the night, probably in need of some quiet after all of that noise from Thor and the Warriors Three

He would be holding a pillow, a kitten, or a bunny he conjured with his magic, and stroking them softly, just enjoying the feeling underneath his fingers

And if you were around, Loki would probably ask for hugs, just wanting to put his arms around you and rest his head on your shoulder, enjoying your perfume

He would fall asleep at some point, smiling like a baby, still holding onto you with a vice-like grip.

But don’t worry, he would be pleasantly surprised to see you in his arms the next morning despite the throbbing headache and the numbness in his legs. Loki would use his magic to heal himself from his hangover and shyly ask you if you would like to share some breakfast with him

Loki of Asgard and Jotunheim from The Marvel Cinematic Universe

Drunk Persona: Philosopher on the Dance Floor

This happens about just as often as you might imagine. He is the God of Mischief after all

When Loki gets drunk at a party or at a nightclub on Midgard, he would start to gaze into the distance as if in deep thought. And just when you least expect it, Loki would say something profound like, “Grapes are just younger, more hydrated raisins.” Or something like, “It’s not true love until you’ve wanted kill them at least once.”

He would take sips of his drink and continue to spout all of this “insights” about the world.

The best way to stop Loki from lecturing would be to get him on the dance floor, where he would be kicking his heels and seductively swaying his hips to the music, shamelessly flirting with you the whole time.

And after dancing through four songs straight, Loki would still be energetic enough to spin you around until you’re dizzy

“Darling, life’s a party, and parties are life….If you’re not partying, you’re not…life-ing. What’s life but just a bunch of dancing and music and murder?”

Laughing, you would stumble to a corner of the party and try to sit down. “Yeah,…life’s a party with you, Loki.”

“No, you’re the party, sweetheart.” Loki would slump next to you, throwing his head back with a grin. “The best kind of party is when you’re with your favorite people. And you’re my favorite.”

Bill Hazeldine from “Suburban Shootout”

Drunk Persona: Baby Boy

Big. Old. Lightweight

This guy would get drunk after two beers at a college party or a gathering with friends. After his first one, Bill would curls up at the foot of the couch, his knees tucked into his chest with a goofy smile on his face

He would start to drink his second beer with two hands on the side of the bottle, sort of like the way a little kid holds their sippy cup

You would definitely know that Bill’s wasted when his response to anything is either ‘Yay’ (when two people kiss at a game of ‘Spin the Bottle’) or ‘Aww’ (when you tell him it’s time to go home)

Another giveaway? Bill would probably start sucking his thumb after his second beer

Dealing with a drunk Bill would be exactly like dealing with a baby boy. None of his words would be completely coherent, he would giggle excitedly when someone burped nearby

And heaven forbid if someone smashed a bottle, Bill would start to cry with tears rolling down his cheeks…until someone stuck Bill’s thumb into his own mouth or gave him another drink

You would probably never be able to let a drunk Bill out of your sight, or at least until he fell asleep. Mostly because someone could try to feed him even more alcohol or draw something on his face.

At about ten o’clock, Bill’s parents would probably call his mobile (with little to no idea that he was at a party) to say good night. And using your acting skills, you would have to explain that their son was tucked in bed, fast asleep after too much…ice cream

Caius Marcius Coriolanus

Drunk Persona: Pax Romanus

If you thought that the most ruthless general of Rome would rather fall on his own sword than be seen drunk in public, then you would be correct.

It would take about nine cups of wine to get General Caius drunk, which would usually never happen unless he were at an incredibly boring party

General Caius would be very good at hiding the effect of the alcohol, keeping himself tight-lipped and rigid in posture. And the only giveaway that he’d been drinking at all would be the stink of wine on his breath.

But the moment he got home? Your dear general would be stumbling over his own feet until he found a comfortable surface to lay down on

General Caius would be more relaxed than usual, telling the household servants to call him by his first name. And he would coax you not to fuss over the fact that he just collapsed into bed while still wearing his shoes, but he would smile when he saw you remove them from his feet.

Catching you by the wrist, he would lure you closer to him, not letting you go until you agreed to lay next to him.

He would open up about his opinions on the world, and his plans to retire from the military with enough time to devote himself to you and perhaps your future children. He would tell you things about his childhood, and laugh when you playfully complained about the way smell of wine on his breath

Eventually, he would yawn in the middle of his talking, his words becoming more slurred until he fell asleep.

Jonathan Pine from “The Night Manager”

Drunk Persona: Never See it Coming

Warning: Spoilers from the series

Jonathan isn’t used to drinking large amounts of alcohol, but he is someone who would need at least a few bottles of strong beer or a few glasses of liquor to feel the effect

But he’d be most likely to get drunk after the successful completion of a mission, when he’s alone in a bar somewhere in London or in the lounge of a fancy hotel

He wouldn’t drink with the idea of enjoying himself but mainly to forget himself, more specifically forget his memories of the blood surrounding Sophie’s corpse at the Hotel Nefertiti, the sounds of Freddie Hamid’s gasps for life as Jonathan choked him to death, and the racist, callous words of Richard Roper as he was being dragged away to prison

Jonathan would silently burn in his hellish house of memories with every drink. His vision would get blurry, then his words might start to slur despite the stoic tone of voice. His hands would move more slowly and less steady than they usually would

The only way one would know the former night manager was actually drunk would be finding him passed out next to his empty drink. You would never see it coming

Robert Laing from “High-Rise”

Drunk Persona: Doctor Sexy

While sober, Dr. Laing is definitely the most desirable man in the high-rise. Single, high-income doctor with a body that’s capable of performing CPR and being the reason for it, he’s everything the ladies could want, and he knows it.

After his third scotch at one of the high-rise parties, he would effortlessly remove his blazer and hang it over a chair, strutting to the dance floor with a single aim in mind.

He would turn up the sex appeal, rolling up his sleeves before seductively moving his hips to the music, pointing one finger into the air as he moves his arm up and down.

All the while, his gaze would be on you and only you, undressing you with his eyes as he waited for you to look his way.

And when a particularly suggestive song started to play, Dr. Laing would surprise you with his hand on your waist. “Dance with me,” Dr.Laing whispered for your ears only.

Not taking no for an answer, he would lead you to the other dancing partygoers, keeping his body pressed against yours while he muttered how he’s already picturing you naked and screaming his name.

“Doctor!” You gasped.

“Yes,…just like that,” he muttered as he inched his lips towards you. His fingers dug into your waist, taking your breath away. “Say the word, I’m yours…”

Oakley from “Unrelated”

Drunk Persona: Clear and Present Danger

After about four shots of limoncello while on vacation in Tuscany (plus the Negroni from earlier in the afternoon), Oakley would be even more likely to put himself in all kinds of danger

When he’s sober, Oakley is someone who likes to do some pretty risky things like driving without paying attention to the speed limit. But when Oakley is drunk, that risk-taking attitude would be turned up to ten times that level

Depending on where you were, he would try to jump off the roof to “simply look cool” or pretend that he was the lead in an action film.

Or if you were near the villa’s poolside at night, he would frantically take off his clothes and make a big cannonball into the water, after a running start (even if there's a sign that says 'no diving')

And he would loudly coax for you to join him , not caring if he might wake up anyone sleeping inside the villa.

“Oh, don’t be shy!” Oakley splashed in your direction. “I won’t bite…unless you like it that way.”

It would be quite a task looking after a drunk Oakley because he would refuse to go to bed unless he was either close to passing out, or he was seduced into bed by you

Magnus Martinsson from “Wallander”

Drunk Persona: The Talkative Drunk

After about four pints at the pub, Magnus would pretty much turn into a loose canon, talking unabashedly about anything and everything

Propping his chin up with his elbow, he’d go on and on about how he’s never liked the way Wallander handles cases - a comment that would definitely get him in trouble at work if his superiors ever heard

Then, he’d tell you his most brutally honestly opinions about each and every member of his team at the Ystad Police Department, about how everyone lets Wallander get away with far too much even with his seniority and experience

You asked him if there was anyone else in Ystad he spent time with when he wasn’t working, and he turned to you.

Magnus would take a long look at you, drink a long sip of his beer, and start to speak. “You…You’re the one I wanna marry,” he slurred. “I remember the dress you wore when you first walked by my house. It was cute and purple, showed off your pretty legs and …You had your boxes in your yard…Damn sexy you were, I got hard that day in the shower.”

You blinked. “In the shower?”

“Yes. What do you do in the shower, love?”

You licked your lip. “I…I can’t be…I don’t want to say it in public. I still can’t believe you’re ”

Magnus lowered his head to look into your eyes. “It’s ‘cause you’re unforgettable, darling. Ever since that day you moved in, I told myself, “she’s gotta be mine”….mine, mine, mine.“ He gently grazed your thigh and rested his head on your shoulder. “Let’s go home, love.”

“Alright. I can drop you home. I think I’m sober enough too.”

The next morning, Magnus would wake up irritable and sarcastic, groaning the moment the sunlight entered the window. But all that would disappear the moment he saw your voicemail from the night before, asking him if he was awake and alright.

Magnus would pick up the phone, and take a deep breath before dialing your number. “Hello…Look, about last night, I just…Sorry, if I made myself an arse in front of you. I never meant to do that. But,” Magnus would swallow and run his fingers through his curls. “But if you still aren’t totally mad at me for getting drunk, I’d like to take you out on a proper date. Is that…would you be okay with that?”

Captain James Conrad from “Kong: Skull Island”

Drunk Persona: The Impulsive Drunk

Not a lightweight for sure. It would take at least five beers for the former SAS agent to get close to being drunk

He would get very impulsive, a stark contrast from his usual way of thinking through things before acting.

James would probably need to be kept away from his guns and other artillery because he would definitely shoot something at a moment’s notice if taken by surprise

And if James were around other people talking, he would be quick to call someone’s idea either “fantastic” or “bullshit”, depending on what he heard

But the moment he found you standing around with your friends or talking to someone that wasn’t him, James wouldn’t waste a second grabbing you from behind, sloppily kissing your nape until he had your attention.

“James…” You glanced over your shoulder, immediately hit with the smell of beer.

“I need you. Now,” he muttered between sucking your earlobe and kissing you neck.

He would practically be dragging you back to his bunker, murmuring about how he wanted nothing but to make love to you and couldn’t wait another moment…until his back hit the mattress and he passed out in his bed, his arms around you.

The next morning, James would be completely flustered by what he’d done, already hungover and irritable (none of the other soldiers at Monarch would be in for a good day). He’d ask if you were okay, apologize for what he did, hoping you’d still be able to like him after all of that and promising he wouldn’t drink like that again.

Baronet Thomas Sharpe from “Crimson Peak”

Drunk Persona: Happy to Be Alive

Having attended fancy parties and balls throughout his youth, Thomas would have a general awareness of different types of liquor

Thomas would be likely to get drunk while consoling himself after a rough moment with Lucille. He’d pour himself a glass of wine from one of the bottles in the cellar, and take slow sips while he paces through the halls

Then, a small trigger - perhaps a photograph from his past or the faint sound of Lucille playing the piano - would tug at Thomas’s heartstrings, making him feel even worse. And to quell the pain, Thomas would take another drink

After about five cups of wine, Thomas would stagger up the stairs with a boyish smile, singing to himself without a care in the world and pirouetting between steps

He would take your hands in his, exclaiming about how wonderful it is that the two of you live in a world where you’re both alive and in the same universe. How you could be thousands of meters away, in another continent or across oceans, but instead you were here in the same home as him.

He would stroke your cheeks as if you were the most precious thing in the world, and spin you around until you were laughing.

Depending on the weather, he would insist on playing in the rain or the snow simply to “celebrate being alive”, dancing and enjoying himself until he grew tired

Then, he would lead you back to the bedroom and simply hold you close until he drifted off into a dreamless slumber.

Jaguar!Villain Hiddleston

Drunk Persona: Master of Darkness

It’s hard to imagine the most ruthless and tactical businessman in London ever being drunk. He takes great care to limit his alcohol consumption in public, knowing fully well that one single moment of weakness or wrong move could destroy his reputation beyond repair

The only time he might ever get drunk would be while pondering over a tragic event - a betrayal from someone close to him, or the untimely death of someone he cared about.

You would find him in the dining room, nursing a glass of whiskey with a mournful expression, the bottle at arm’s length from him

When you called his name, Mr. Hiddleston would turn to you with red, puppy dog eyes and beckon you to sit on his lap. And when you did, he’d hold you close and bury his face into the crook of your neck, smelling of whiskey and cologne

He’d sigh as you stroked his hair, and if you ever tried to leave the chair or get up, he would either pull you back into his arms or follow you. Even if you just wanted to take your coat off or check your phone, he would be right behind you

When you were done, he would wrap his arms around you from behind and lead you to one of the couches or the bed.

“Please…stay with me,” Mr. Hiddleston murmured, inhaling the scent of your hair while his hands clutched you. He took another slow breath. “If you ever leave me…,” he hissed into your ear, “If you ever betray me, my love…I swear that I won’t stop until this whole world is destroyed. I’ll burn everything…You’re all I have, darling.”

With those words, he would pass out cold in his bed, shortly before you’d fall asleep next to him

The next morning, all It would take is a double espresso for Mr. Hiddleston to return to his normal, powerful and loyal self.

He would surprise you with a splendid breakfast containing your favorites, and maybe a gift from Cartier in the afternoon in return for your fidelity to him

Tag list: @thatdummy-girl @icytrickster17 @mischievoushiddleston,@lokischambermaid , @lady-rose-moon , @lokisgoodgirl , @eleniblue@lokisninerealms @jennyggggrrr ,, @tom-hiddleston-imagines , @lokiismineforever @smolvenger @winterfrostlovetriangle , @the-haven-of-fiction , @turniptitaness @cakesandtom ,@sallymagnoliaposts @leahs-reading-nook @holdmytesseract @muddyorbsblr @evelyn-kingsley@anukulee @acidcasualties @lotsoflokilove23 @caffiend-queen @real-sharena-h @asgards-princess-of-mischief

#loki #tom hiddleston #thomas sharpe #robert laing

43 notes · View notes