vulcanmindtrick

[vulcanmindtrick]

* truther = literally anything other than 'they were just platonic buddies'. Anywhere from 'there was one-sided feelings' to 'they were straight up in a committed relationship'

** no nuance here gun to your head just go with your gut here

*** idk if u hate the beatles or whatever answer anyway...this is mandatory for my followers I will be cross-referencing vote counts against my followers counts

[vulcanmindtrick]

I have been saving this since last year. Happy Earth Day everyone.

[vulcanmindtrick]

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

[vulcanmindtrick]

[vulcanmindtrick]

I hate when another car forces you to park terribly but then they leave before you and it’s just like great. Well now my atrocious park job is deprived of context and I look like an asshole

[vulcanmindtrick]

I brought some ancient Greek philosophers back from the dead cuz I wanted to start a prank channel but they started asking me stuff about the modern world and now they won't quit making fun of me cuz my city doesn't have any gates. Zeno of Syracuse called me a "no-gate-having ass barbarian idiot." He already knew English.

[vulcanmindtrick]

do not. Sell my husband twelve fascinating issues of Zoobooks and the Tiger Poster.

[vulcanmindtrick]

started voyager recently, this is all i can think about every time i see harry sitting next to tom in a meeting for senior officers

[vulcanmindtrick]

[vulcanmindtrick]

[vulcanmindtrick]

[vulcanmindtrick]

the humble "like" is oft mocked despite what it does for us. "like, three people" is a vastly different statement from "three people". "and i was like 'what the fuck'" is vastly different from "and i said 'what the fuck'". i love you "like" and anyone who says you make people sound stupid will be killed on sight

[vulcanmindtrick]

[vulcanmindtrick]

amok time

[vulcanmindtrick]

Humans have finally managed to land on Mars, only to find a locked safe buried in the Martian soil. The key is apparently on Earth, but no one knows where.

[vulcanmindtrick]

Team “not actually oblivious to flirting, just terrified of appearing presumptuous” represent.

[vulcanmindtrick]

Everyone please look at this snapping turtle, walking to the pond outside my house, still groggy from a 6-month nap.