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virmillion · 18 hours
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had a dream that I met a wizard and we fell in love and became unhealthily attached to each other so we decided to meld into one single creature together but the process was horrifically slow and painful and most of the dream was us lying in bed holding hands while lesions opened up in our skin and seeped out blue and green fluid and the wizard said "this is going to take a very very long time" and I said "that's ok"
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virmillion · 18 hours
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my pet mold spore
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virmillion · 18 hours
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virmillion · 18 hours
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5A period, honey .
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virmillion · 18 hours
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my pet mold spore
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virmillion · 18 hours
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my brutalist son just killed my rococo son with his gray concrete alphabet blocks
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virmillion · 18 hours
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this stupid little beaver bitch
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virmillion · 18 hours
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My 14 year old brother just took a drink of hot chocolate and hissed like he'd knocked back a shot of vodka then set it down and went "ah... that's the good stuff."
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virmillion · 19 hours
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We're on a new platform with a totally different audience...we have to prove ourselves all over again...convince a totally new group of people to think we're funny and worth your attention....so allow me to drop some of my "A" material....the funniest thing I got.......here goes....... jeef berky
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virmillion · 19 hours
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kinda sick of all those posts that are like "my ancestors were surviving starvation and the plague meanwhile i get nervous ordering food at restaurants". as if jauffrey the woodworker didn't fumble his conversation with the fine maiden running the fruit stand and then tripped on a pebble as he left in a hurry
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virmillion · 19 hours
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What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun
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virmillion · 19 hours
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What if we had a plagiarism scandal here on tumblr, kinda annoyed at the youtubies having all the fun
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virmillion · 19 hours
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I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent
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virmillion · 19 hours
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“a goose chased me one time” “these animals possess a human understanding of morality and have chosen to act with ill will towards me specifically and the human race in general” “they’re mean” L + you’re an idiot + the infinite beauty of nature’s creatures is astounding + a swan bit my car once and you don’t see me bitching
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virmillion · 19 hours
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two ants have performed the world smallest and most delicate kiss
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virmillion · 20 hours
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person who is chronically outside
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virmillion · 20 hours
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