ux-wizard

[ux-wizard]

Me: Good design is timeless

Apprentice: Like a level 18 Druid?

Me: No, like the quality of the design is unaffected by the passage of time.

Apprentice: oh . . .

Apprentice: Isn’t Time Stop like a 9th level spell?

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[ux-wizard]

I need a better spell to transcribe all my raw data onto sticky notes.

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[ux-wizard]

Me: Good design is user centric

Lich: So . . . I should put a user’s soul into the design like my phylactery?

Me: No, like, think about your users.

Lich: It’s hard to not to think about the user when you’ve magically bound their essence.

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[ux-wizard]

Spell book that’s papers on clipboard. Spell book that’s a deck of cards. Spell book that’s a film reel. Spell book that’s a bag of holding with scratch off tickets. Spell book that’s a magic supersize coke with tear off spells like the monopoly game at McDonalds…

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[ux-wizard]

Lawful Good Fireball KPIs: celsius (internal temp), meters (radius), consistency of casting.

Chaotic Evil Fireball KPIs: decibels (screaming)

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[ux-wizard]

Me logging a bug report after trying to use a crystal ball to scry on itself. #notworkingasdesigner

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[ux-wizard]

[ux-wizard]

‪There have been few wizards who tried to design spells that use proprietary components that only they sell. ‬

‪I want to say that the wizarding community values free and open design, but reality is wizards see can see a scam and have access to ~fireball~.‬

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[ux-wizard]

A dragon found a baby human in the woods. However since they are incapable of caring for a human child they decide the best way to help is to simply bring a human to raise them. This is where you come in, as you and your house are now being carried hundreds of feet above the ground by a dragon.

[ux-wizard]

If only stakeholders believed this. #design #research

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[ux-wizard]

Humans are moist. Like, compared to dwarves, elves, tieflings, etc, humans are just constantly emitting fluid and vapor.

Means that typical touchscreens aren’t half as effective for non-humans. Also means humans wearing non-human fashion can get dank fast.

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[ux-wizard]

‪Pop culture portrays wizard school as fun but frankly incredibly reckless and dangerous. Wizard school is actually pretty dull. Practical magic training is a lot more like PE than anything else.‬

‪Sorcerer school on the other hand. . .‬

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[ux-wizard]

People think making cars safer with magic involves airbags filled with health potion or automatic plane shift collision detection.

The most effective car enchantment is giving the driver a bonus to intelligence and wisdom. #drivesafe

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[ux-wizard]

A google search history story.

-Best spell to cook a turkey?

-Is fireball the best spell to cook a turkey?

-Will healing potions fix a burnt turkey?

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[ux-wizard]

‪Insulin pumps are rad, but also an important reminder that design needs to be more than just easy to use. There’s a real potential for harm if it’s poorly designed.‬

‪(or used inappropriately by adventurers to administer a continuous stream of healing potions)‬

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[ux-wizard]

When clients ask if you can do a little bit of design before they start paying you. #kikisdeliveryservice #workersrights

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[ux-wizard]

I was worried the Bureau of Secrets was going to worry about non-wizards and the “meta-verse”. I thought they’d worry about non-wizards learning about interplanar travel. I asked the head secrecy officer about it and he said “Nah, we already know about Second Life”. #meta #ffs

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