What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
Nobody Knows
3 notes
·
View notes
What did Matthew McConaughey decide to do when he got a little bored of acting?
"I'll write, alright? I'll write!"
4 notes
·
View notes
It only costs 1c to get into our local aquarium, so long as you’re camping or dressed as a dolphin...
To all in tents and porpoises, it’s free.
1 note
·
View note
How do math students get to school?
They take the rhombus
1 note
·
View note
Why can’t you trust duck doctors?
They’re all quacks
3 notes
·
View notes
I broke my finger today but on the other hand...
I’m completely fine!
1 note
·
View note
What type of car does a Monster Truck announcer drive?
Hyundai
HYUNDAI
HYUNDAI
1 note
·
View note
How can you tell it’s a dogwood tree?
By the bark
4 notes
·
View notes
I'd like to take the band ABBA out for lunch and if I could, I would my friend.
For Nando's
1 note
·
View note
Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Then it’d be a foot
0 notes
We visited France in the middle of summer
So in the heat of the day I jumped into the river.
My friends all said I was in Seine...
3 notes
·
View notes
I was terrible at school,
I failed maths so many times I can't count.
2 notes
·
View notes
My vagueness coach...
He's...an interesting guy...
0 notes
I once watched a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
No text found
1 note
·
View note
I was chatting to this nun
So I was chatting to this nun right, asking her about her daily life. So I asked her, "do you wake up, have a cup of coffee and then go to church?" She replied, "don't be silly, a nun's habits aren't as black and white as that"
0 notes
What do lawyers wear to court?
Lawsuits
2 notes
·
View notes
waiter and customer
Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. - And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!
0 notes