unicornofgt

[unicornofgt]

alright, i have come to the decision i am keeping this blog up as an archive and leaving the gt tumblr community for the foreseeable future.

when i made my post about chamomile-g-tea’s damaging treatment of my story, gtms, my goal was to acknowledge the situation so i could hopefully move forward and restore gtms/my blog as mine again, without her influence. and while i anticipated backlash, some of the responses were just...downright disturbing. lots of comments echoed a victim-blaming sentiment that i am responsible for the emotional and creative damage done to me by another person because ‘why didn’t you just say no or tell her to stop?’ not only does this ignore the several attempts i did make to express discomfort and set boundaries—which were not respected—but even if i didn’t manage to express a ‘no’, that doesn’t make what happened ok; it doesn’t erase the year of crippling pressure and guilt i lived with and still struggle to shake daily. realizing that so many people in this community think otherwise is just...disturbing. it’s disturbing. that’s the only word i can think to use.

the response to all this does not make me feel safe being here—that’s what this situation has unfortunately showed me: that the audience i hoped to allow to view my reclaiming process would also contain the same crowd who make me feel so unsafe—and why the fuck would i let those people see something as personal as that? why would i let them see anything? it’s made me understand i can’t continue to heal myself and my writing if i am posting it for other people, especially harmful people. and even though it turned out this way, i’m glad i gave it a shot; that i made that post as an effort to see if it was even possible or worth it to restore this space—even if the answer was no! absolutely fucking not!—because it saved me from even more time spent sharing my work with people who do not respect me as a person or a creator. i’m glad i tried, however much it sucked, because it allowed me to understand: it is not just one person in this community i feel unsafe with, but a solid percentage of the community at large that i just cannot healthily engage with, and no amount of blocking will fix that.

but of course this is not the only situation that showed me this community’s true colors—the dismissive or outright aggressive response to the calling out of racism in our tropes has also been deeply disturbing. to clarify, there is no problem in identifying with and finding comfort or catharsis in problematic tropes such as the pet trope, but there is a problem with using that comfort to make others feel unsafe and speak over people of color. and the solution to this trope problem is very simple—generally apply critical thinking skills to the media you enjoy, and tag your shit properly (dead dove, particularly when the giant owner/abuser doesn’t face consequences and/or if the abused/abuser fall in ‘love’—dead dove is not actually currently used in this community, that’s the problem). but rather than taking this as an opportunity to listen and improve, it was instead used as a chance to lash out at and make clear that poc are not welcome in this community and come secondary to the feelings of white creators and readers.

over the last few years, this community has fostered and been exposed for bigotry such as terfs, ableists, racists, etc, and especially in the current political era, this is no longer a community i want to share my work with or even just lurk in. and i know on the surface this community seems progressive, but take a better look and you’ll find members of the community doing and saying…questionable things, or keeping quiet and enabling their friends who do and say questionable things because they would rather be passive and polite than be genuinely kind and compassionate through active accountability.

of course this is the risk you take interacting with any person ever—but it’s especially taxing to look around at such a small, close knit community you know is riddled with these problems and wonder if the people making innocent posts are actually harmful; if they prioritize their comfort over the safety of marginalized people, if they even see you as a full person, and for me, personally—if they are willing to overlook consent to blame you for your trauma and defend the person who inflicted it. it’s taxing to explain basic basic concepts to strangers over and over in a place that prides itself on being a safe space, where people just have fun and mentally escape from irl hardships. it’s taxing to ride out shitty, hateful treatment when you are just simply one person (voluntarily providing free services btw) with only so much energy and fucks to give. it is not worth the strain it puts on you as a person, nor is it your responsibility to sit there and accept it, and i am not the only creator in this community who feels this way. we are fucking tired.

quite simply, this is not a community i feel comfortable participating in or sharing anything with. and that’s a shame, because there are wonderful, creative and caring people here who i have enjoyed sharing this space with, and maybe someday i’ll give this community another chance, but currently it’s just not worth the time of day. and i want to make it clear: my leaving is not simply because of just one person or just one situation—that i could handle—it is the community itself that is the root problem; that continues to be harmful, in multiple contexts—that is the reason why i and several other creators are leaving for greener pastures and more enjoyable communities—or just simply for a fucking moment’s worth of peace, because lord knows you won’t find it here.

#i considered making this post just ‘yea i feel unsafe here i’m leaving’ #but i did want to post a clear explanation for mutuals still here n the ppl who come across my blog in the future #instead of leaving it to speculation and guess work #so i wrote a fucking essay lmao #but there are more personal details i didn’t go into bc they’re distressing and some of y’all are straight awful<3 #however i will say you are not inside anyone else’s head if they say they feel unsafe it is not for you to question that #anyways privileges to myself and my writing are officially revoked #when i’m ready to share writing it’ll be with close friends in private #and maybe eventually on another site like ao3 but if that happens it won’t be for a while #and if i do post gtms there it will prolly be v different from the version here bc it’ll be the restored and improved version #i hate the version on this site<3 #for now i just need to get back into the swing of things bc rn it is. so hard to Think at all #i’ll also be doing things on my fandom account i am just leaving this community bc good lord #if you told me a month ago i’d be leaving this community i’d have been devastated but now? #having seen sm of this community’s true colors one after another? #i don’t give a fuck now #the only thing i feel is relief #the community i thought i was apart of does not exist and it made me physically sick to realize and experience that reality #for all its problems i did not think so MUCH of the gt community was this vile #i’ve run this blog for years and closing this chapter just brings me closure and peace #and to those of y’all who are alright n still here: good fucken luck lmfao wish y’all the best dealing w this shitshow #gt community #giant/tiny #gt #g/t #sfw g/t #gtms #gt mech suits

[unicornofgt]

this week has been a bitch for my health so i’m goin on a break to recover n focus on managing my chronic illness, see y’all in a bit

#i don't regret anything i've said or done bc those boundaries needed to be set but fuckin hell #some of y’all. are The Fucking Worst™️ #and i will not miss u<3

[unicornofgt]

I will NEVER see a prehistoric dinosaur

#when i tell u it hurts me everyday

[unicornofgt]

not to poke my head in on a convo but i will say that as a disabled person, if i see ppl using disability/physical conditions purposefully to dehumanize a tiny character i will personally claw your eyes out

#as another disabled person so will i<3

[unicornofgt]

Old art, but hey check out these tinies Mii found,,

Don't mind her crying over her gf, it's fine

[unicornofgt]

the next person who turns this into fearplay vs fluff discourse i am breaking into the house of to smash all ur dishes. we are not talking about preferences we are CALLING OUT RACISM you absolute fucking fools

#quit derailing and purposefully missing the point #i swear to god no one can say anything in this community w/o someone turning it into a complaint on fearplay/fluff discourse #for anyone unaware this is abt the pet trope pls scroll down for context #instead of embarrassing yourself by making uninformed posts #for the love of god no one is saying not to write this just to apply some critical thinking skills to the media you enjoy #and the amount of you who have told the poc in this community to shut up bc it’s not that deep….telling on yourself babe

[unicornofgt]

You’re Still You

(hi this is the thing that’s been on my mind for months, in which morgan looks at his top scar surgeries for the first time after waking up from being in the mech. there really isn’t a warning here, save for mentions of nudity and scars. this is just pure self indulgent gender euphoria.) Rain was the only way to be a semblance of clean in the arid wastes…well, at least when you were sixteen times the size of a normal man. Humans had the privilege of being able to spend a fraction of their meager water resources for a towel wash, maybe even a full on bath for the children…Morgan had to wait until the blessed day when the skies darkened and spat out a river for him so he could wash off all the muck on his person for the first time. As he watched the little people milling below him run for cover in their tents, he rose to his feet and plucked Nick up and off from the ground below. He squirmed between his fingers, briefly alarmed but ultimately annoyed by the sudden movement, easily clamoring onto the giant’s shoulder when brought up, up, up to it. Little hands pressed gently on the skin of his neck, and Morgan could hear the whisper of a kiss, feel the most miniscule scratch of his stubble–he couldn’t help but smile. Did Nick think he brought him up there to cuddle? “Come on, you. I’m finally getting out of this bloody monkey suit.” He grumbled as he rose to his feet. 

Keep reading

[unicornofgt]

(Pirouettes into view) Hello ladies and gentlethems. You may be seeing quite a few community critique posts around. You may be seeing it framed as a battle between ✨puritanical exclusionists✨ and the ✨deranged kinky outlaws✨. I am here to remind you that this is not the case.

Yes, tumblr g/t has a subcultural battle between its kink roots and extremely sfw modern culture, but we’re not discussing kink right now. We’re discussing the repeated bad treatment, infantalization, and dehumanization of PoC creators and the lack of diverse viewpoints within writers of the community. Please do not try and straw man this important argument by chalking it up to a lack of sex-positive thought, or my whore ass will come and bury you in a graveyard with half a bottle of whiskey.

[unicornofgt]

I would also like to say that people are not saying that if you write these tropes, you’re a bad person. I wrote these tropes when I was younger as a metaphor for my own history of abuse and a way of expressing and processing my own trauma around them. When you’ve been through extensive abuse, your brain recontextualizes that kind of stuff as your sense of normal, and forces you to be attracted to it as a way to try and lessen the cognitive horror of the abuse.

What you need to understand, though, is that those tropes have underlying implications that connect to stuff like slavery and can be v triggering for other people. The important thing is self-awareness about the tropes in your story and how you manipulate them. Do you need to post your personal trauma-processing extremely triggering stuff on tumblr untagged? We have to find a way to deal with our own trauma in a way that does not perpetuate the harm in the world. Write what you want! Write it! But be mindful how you share and tag it, and be aware of how it could be damaging to others. PoC creators are begging you to listen to them and not brush them aside as we do too often.

[unicornofgt]

Yea ik I said I was gonna be more concise with another post but everything has mostly been said tbh. This is just tiny things I wanna emphasize/say to sum up and add:

If you do choose to write the pet trope, either fully acknowledge the implications it has, or don't write it at all.

Stories that don't do this ^ send a message to readers about what in that world is more important to care about...with the choices being between caring about a person's rights or the cutesy moments in their questionable love life.

You can't expect a community full of minors to apply critical thinking to fics that package these things as. Good. You just can't. If you present the characters as good, they will see them as such no matter what they do, because every action is backed by excuses and justifications from the writer that they eat up without criticism.

If a character wholly participates in this system that oppresses people. They. Are. Bad. Fleeting moments to point it out flaws followed by little substantial consequences does not change that. Do they still get the love interest? Do they still end the story or are currently pretty secure and safe, not dealing with any permanent repercussions for their actions? If so they haven't received enough punishment, because imo they should at least be in prison.

Supporting something because it offers scraps of a genre you crave (say angst or smth) is imo, a poor excuse. You are ignoring how much it harms another group of people simply for your own benefit. Very similar to stuff going on irl with current fans of a particular famous writer....and her lil wizards :/

[unicornofgt]

more butches written like male protags in the good way. we won't have gender equality till we have fucked up women with a heart full of love and an interminable sadness around their eyes who wander the world with a sword, perhaps a gun, breaking hearts, taking names, and changing lives wherever they go

[unicornofgt]

[unicornofgt]

#hghhh colors

[unicornofgt]

lmao

[unicornofgt]

[unicornofgt]

re my most recent gtms post: y’all do not get to decide if it was uncalled for for me to acknowledge the last year’s worth of events. it is not up to you. you do not have to like how or that i did it: it is not up to you, i do not care how you feel about it. as i said in my post, i did not make it as a call out, i made it as an acknowledgement to move forward. and to the people whose reaction was “why didn’t you just say no/that you were uncomfortable”: re-evaluate that take. i am not interested in dragging this out further than it needs to be and will not be addressing it again.

#also a clear example of why i do not feel safe talking to her personally is how she reacted to this: #she still views this as something i did to her and not that i felt pressured and unsafe #and it is quite simply not my responsibility to reopen wounds to spell out for the person who caused them why they hurt #not to mention that post was never meant for her—she is blocked for a reason #it was not meant for her to find and read it was not meant to send hate her way it was just to acknowledge the elephant in the room #that is it. #and yeah i knew somebody was always gonna send it to her but i can’t control what other people do #it doesn’t change that it was never meant for her #but all of this is irrelevant bc even if i did talk to her privately that post would still be necessary bc the Point is acknowledgement #i could not continue about the Point Of My Blog (gt and my ocs) with this unacknowledged #and do not brush off what i have to say just bc she makes nice art and is nice to You #that does not make my experience illegitimate i cannot believe i have to say this #also people are saying i hate neurodivergent people bc she’s ND like ?? i am also ND it excuses nothing #not to mention she knows the personal details of my traumas that make boundaries difficult to set #but however much i struggled i DID set them and they were blatantly ignored #sometimes less than 24 hours after being reinforced #anyway as i said i will not be addressing this again but this post had to be made bc some of y’all desperately missed the point

[unicornofgt]

something underwater,