two-many-eyes

[two-many-eyes]

“how would you feel if someone blocked you just because they found you annoying?” then i wouldn’t have to interact with someone who thinks i’m annoying? i don’t see a problem

[two-many-eyes]

george washington was the first king, and his rule lasted from the year 0 to 1776. he clipped his toenails in the west and the rocky mountains piled up. bored one night, he ejaculated in the headwaters of the mississippi and by the time his sperm reached the delta, they had matured to adult men: the first Americans. during his reign great infrastructure projects were undertaken; he personally oversaw the construction of the brooklyn bridge and the chicago bean. he was succeeded upon his death by little gay bitch thomas jefferson

#thanks to our shitty american education systems this is the only history i was taught 😔 #(no they did not teach this. no i was not paying attention to what they were teaching) #(yes i was busy drawing characters from hamilton) #(it was an era)

[two-many-eyes]

I think the most fun part of monsters inc is boo calling sulley “kitty” and mike wazowski by full government name

[two-many-eyes]

you can always give your blorbos mobility aids btw . you can always make them disabled its always morally correct

#bel #don’t worry i got a GREAT disability hc lined up

[two-many-eyes]

Hot take but canes are not a limited resource. Most mobility aids aren’t but canes especially. Canes are $20 at a lot of stores like CVS, Walmart, etc. You aren’t taking that resource away from “real” disabled people (hint: you ARE a real disabled person) in fact buying more canes creates more demand and works to make more stores carry them for better prices. You aren’t faking being disabled or hurting disabled people, you’re working to make canes more accessible which is helping disabled people.

Get the cane.

[two-many-eyes]

Adults: Following rules is good, not following rules is bad

Little me: Okay :] *follows a rule*

Adults: Oh my god look at this loser. He doesn't know that this rule is Secretly Okay To Not Follow. Dumbass. Let's all laugh at him

[two-many-eyes]

When I was “I want him” about a male character im not saying I wanna fuck him. I want him like a spoiled little girl wants a pony, I want to him so I can put him on my shelf for safekeeping, I want him like a good hearty stew on a winter’s evening, I want to put him in a jar and shake it.

#bel #i’m pinning him in a butterfly display case 💚💚

[two-many-eyes]

hate, hate, hate the “mirror test” so much, all it is is some guy in a lab coat pokes you in the forehead and then they lead you into a room where there’s this window and some bitch on the other side of the mirror has a smudge on her face and when you point and laugh at her she points and laughs at you, but she’s the idiot with a smudge so why’s she laughing but if you yell at her she just yells back and everything keeps escalating until they drag you back out of the room, and then they ask you all these stupid questions like “did you notice anything about the person you saw” or whatever, like, yeah, i fucking hate, hate, hate her so, so, so much, i noticed that, why do they keep doing this, and then they scribble a bunch more shit in that file, it is literally the most pointless part of the week, and the worst part is they always force this conflict too, like, obvious lesson learned here, don’t interact, don’t speak, keep your head down, but if you just avoid looking through the window the test never ends and they keep waiting and watching and wanting to judge the results even though it is so, so, so tiresome and irritating every time, i don’t like her, i hate her, i don’t want to see her ever again

#mirror test is always a reblog #a classic #also only 17k notes!!!! more ppl need to see mirror test

[two-many-eyes]

#bel #‘ineptly kiss cheek’

[two-many-eyes]

The most embarrassing thing In my life is whenever I see people and they ask what I’ve been up to . Literally nothing ever . Im like ohh you know this and that …. The usual ..

#best part abt starting a new job is having an answer to what i’ve been up to

[two-many-eyes]

it's been two years and somehow i STILL can't believe that he came out as bisexual by mistake and then had to make a twitter thread coming out as straight. this could only ever happen to misha collins.

[two-many-eyes]

me every day without fail: I'll do [chore] when I get home

me when I get home:

[two-many-eyes]

I love this picture. Sultry, come hither stare out the bars, oral fixation prop in mouth, loose oversized shirt + NO PANTIES. One leg lifted up revealing a peek at his exposed rabbit hole. Jailhouse FISH god damn he was ahead of his time

[two-many-eyes]

i want someone to dry hump me until they cum in their pants

[two-many-eyes]

Homestar Runner, Mystery Science Theater and Space Ghost Coast to Coast is superwholock for people who listen to They Might Be Giants

#shut up

[two-many-eyes]

taking a tolerance break from sudoku because it's desensitizing me to numbers

[two-many-eyes]

we dont even get 9/11 off of work. like i guess you were never THAT sad about it