transtrashofthesouth
transtrashofthesouth
vague vermillion chirography
definition ends the ability to change therefore nothing defines me
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transtrashofthesouth · 10 days ago
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Love is a fickle fiend who feints
Left just when you think you have her understood.
Once, she left me spinning uncontrollably down
Into her grim well of despair. She cut me, she made me
Bleed - she made the bed in my darkest days and said
Stay.
Here with me,
We can be together forever.
Everything smelled of rot and ruin -
Light couldn't shine through to where she laid me.
I imagined myself dying there.
Twice, she raised me up to the precipice
Overlooking a vast sea at sunset, the colors
Pouring over the sea and into each other.
It was breathtaking. It was worth the hike. The view was
One to die for. She said
All this and more is yours, sweetness.
But it will cost you everything.
Tucking the hair behind one of my ears,
As if what she had told me was a comforting sentiment.
After having her presence thrice inside of my head,
She decided to change the tune.
Once painful turned pleasant,
Once bargaining turned into giving,
She wrote a new script.
Once, she let me lay my head into her lap.
Through my hesitancy, she seemed genuine, calm.
Relaxing into her, she leaned down and whispered to me,
I was never going to hurt you, you know.
-@transtrashofthesouth
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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There is an utter peace that washes over me
A complete calm,
A happy sencerity I have found once folded
Inside your arms. Yet,
Startled by my intensity that I feel for you,
I feel chaotic.
Lost in my own thoughts, in my own dreams.
I crave your touch,
Your presence brings me great excitement and
Evermore,
You bring me even greater happiness.
-@transtrashofthesouth
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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I'm just gonna leave this here for all you trans people
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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What do you do when
There's no one to call,
To come and pick you off the kitchen floor,
Take it out of your hands and
Embrace you with the love of a thousand mothers?
What do you do when
There's no one to hear your
Cries of pain and anguish,
Of depression lamenting bitterly in your mouth?
No one to come running to your side
Tell you you're gonna be okay,
Even if you can't stand to see tomorrow rise?
How do you deal with the
Constant thoughts of lulling yourself
Into a permanent sleep that dreams no dreams?
@transtrashofthesouth
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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the sexual tension between me & dissapearing without an explanation
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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What if they come and stay for too long?
“Feelings are just visitors, let them come and go.”
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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Season Shift, Somerset
Photographed by Freddie Ardley - Visit Print Shop
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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It says a lot
About who can handle you when
You'd rather
Drown in your car at the bottom of the sound
Jump off the t-bridge during the fast 4 am train
Or even
Lay motionless until it's no longer an option
These people who can hold your hand
Or pet your hair and trace your skin
All the while
Your brain is twisting itself into pretzels of self-hatred
They just wait patiently
For the storms to pass
The pain to ease
And the you to come back to them.
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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There's something about a cigarette
The way that paper crinkles in your fingers
The smell of the pack opening
Dusting the tobacco off the tips
That first drag
The last one, too.
Knowing it kills you just a little
Only seduces you in the wrong way.
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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Of all my friends, which are many, and my partners, which are more than what the average person has; I find myself here again, alone.
Bottomed out, ideations rambling wild, wanting to lay on the floor and feel myself starve to death - I find my phone is empty.
Do I always have to initiate the contact with my people? Do they not know when something is wrong? Can I lie that well? Or do they just not care enough to come and try to lift my head off the floor?
Why am I always taken for granted? I know that if I were to cease to exist many would feel guilt, and many more would be sad. I know this. But I find myself handling these days alone.
I'm expected to be the happy guy, the one with a warm home for all, and endless compassion. But why am I finding myself here, when all I want is someones lap to lay my head while we sit in silence for a while?
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transtrashofthesouth · 2 months ago
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