21|she/herlProfile pic by @tuntacle and header by @captainlividllama They both make consistantly better posts than me and most of my posts are just reblogs from them so go follow them AND me that way you get all those great posts twice! I hold them both very near and dear to my heart. Theoretically, I write things like poetry and fiction. Technically I'm a published author but I promise you have not and will continue to have not heard of me. I very occasionally dabble in hornyposting but I try to not do that on main.
"Don't just throw ripped jeans away, you can repair them using these 10 cute Visible Mending techniques!!" unfortunately my friend the first point of failure for every single pair of jeans i have owned in my life has been the Crotch and Ass. Knees: fine, cuffs: fine; but 3 years in, and all that stands between the world and my astronaut-patterned taint is 0.5µm of denim worn so thin that every squat threatens to tear it to shreds like wet toilet paper. If the Tiktok craft community could figure out a way to resurrect jeans afflicted in such a way that doesn't involve adding a whole ass buttpatch like some sort of inverse assless chaps situation then that'd be great
So today pulling into Stop and Shop, this lady cut me off and nearly drove into me, and then, when I tried to pass her, she swung to the right and nearly hit me again, and then flipped me off.
So somebody is having a bad day and taking it out on me. That’s fine. It’s harmless, and I don’t know what’s going on in this woman’s life. I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt she’s not just a piece of shit and is just having a bad day.
But then I park and she follows me, and gets out of the car and starts swearing at me and getting in my face.
Now I go from “indifferent” to “I’m gonna fuck with this woman’s head.” Now I would say I’m a gentleman of size, and in all black and bemohawked I probably look spookier than I actually am, so props to this lady for getting in my face. Now of course I’m not going to hit her, or even threaten violence. That’s shitty. Nobody should get threatened with violence.
Instead, I take a step back, narrowing my eyes like I’m studying her face really closely, and then I touch one of the several piece of “occulty” jewelry I’m wearing (none of which, by the way, are magicked in any way at all). Then I mumble some nonsense under my breath, and then make the fig gesture and the horns at her.
She stops, wide-eyed.
“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO ME?”
I chuckled, and shake my head. “Nothing at all.” I say in a not-terrible convincing voice. “But every time something bad happens to you today, you’re gonna be thinking of me.”
Valentine from The Ghost Hunters Adventure Club and the Scret Of The Grande Chateau is trans sorry I don't make the rules he just is now and that's okay.
I'm well and truly beyond repair. a vehicle is making a really annoying drone sound outside and I keep laughing at it because it sounds like… every way I can think of to describe the video makes me sound insane
it's the yo mama joke video edit where it's tuned to what seems to be an air raid siren and it keeps changing the punchline of every joke to xbox live
Just because nintendo SAYS the Koopalings aren’t Bowser’s kids, doesn’t mean they aren’t his kids. You can’t have a bunch of kid underlings and NOT just instantly be their father. Even if it’s not biological…. BESIDES, it’s canon that all babies come from storks in that world, let the man just have a horde of babies because the stork won’t STOP SENDING THEM.