The Game
I have question, why do people feel the need to lie about their true intentions. The fact is that everyone has their own agenda. I have been around people that claim to be good people. Meanwhile, their actions have spoken poorly about themselves. I know I have done wrong, but wrong has been done to me when I have been the most vulnerable. I recently read a quote that people should not judge…
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Forever Yours, Para Siempre Mío
You are that someone that forever will be special in my life. Things unveiled differently than they normally do. The pursuit wasn’t there, nor the romance, nor the affection. It was the dark lonely nights that brought us together. But in those lonely nights we learned separately to love ourselves first. Than you added in how I could love myself; how I could and should allow people in my life and…
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the call
I call hoping you answer
I call hoping to hear your voice
I call hoping you be there
no one is home
no one lives there
there’s no one to answer
you are no longer here
I just go into my memories and I..
I hear your voice, one…
once again,
I don’t want it to ever fade
I miss you……🖤
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Midnight
Midnight, I no longer think of you
Midnight, I am no longer in your arms
Midnight, I tell myself I’m leaving
Midnight, I ask why
Midnight, I ask how
How did I get so far
Faraway from my own person
How did I get here
Here alone without guilt
Midnight, was it you
Midnight, was it me
Midnight, is this where I will be
Be in a couple of years
Midnight, take me away
Midnight, is now…
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Secret Lover
having to keep you a secret is so difficult
I had always wonder why people had secret lovers,
Never understood why until today,
Not necessarily because the sex is good
Not necessarily to just have fun
Not necessarily to get away from reality
But just sometimes because we are afraid to
bring them out to the public
Someone might not approve
OR for some
that someone else could get hurt
For me, I'm…
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20s
Dear 20s,
Why didn’t someone just say that they were going to be the best years of ones life and before you know it, just like that be in your 30s. Being young is being full of dreams, hopes, expectations one realizes that it is nothing like the movies. Real life is such a B. Being young one has the strength to break up and move on like we still got a…thousands of days to go on dates. Time to…
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COVID-19 /2020
The year 2020 was one hella of a ride.
In a couple of years there will be many books or movies talking about the pandemic that hit world wide. But for now I will write about how I felt that year.
Everything felt like it stopped, froze, so still. Wanting to be able to move and do all of the “normal” things like celebrating birthdays, holidays, graduations, etc. Wanting to go over to friends,…
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Hope
hope is a very dangerous thing to have
hope is the very thing that gives us life
hope is the very last thing that should die
hope is the pursuit of happiness
hope is the also the last thing that dies
when hope dies, we die…
Teegar
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tell me why I still smile when I read your messages as if you just sent them
tell me why I still feel butterflies when I think of you
tell me why I miss your stupid big vocabulary
I never knew what the hell you were saying
but I wanted to read every word you would say
and as I go back into the messages I think I’ll finally catch something
that I missed that could of changed everything
-tonka
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an urge, a burden
an urge, a burden
for whatever reason
wherever I am
I feel the need of
crying AND praying
its an urge
a burden
my heart
is overwhelmed
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Friends
My whole life I have struggled with people being my friend. I thought that I was the problem, there had to be something wrong with me. I would hear how people would mention that I was too BOSSY. I would hear people say that I was a know it ALL. As I got older I tired fixing all that and I thought that was going to fix the problem. Then I would still hear people say, “she’s just COPYCAT.” And over…
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Decision
The decisions we make in life might seem like they won’t affect us in anyway. Maybe not right away. Along the way it actually does. It may break us & define us. Or it makes us stronger, learn from it & move on. The choices I’ve made have not all been all that smart but I’m not perfect. I’m not proud of most of them. But I know that at the moment that was exactly how I felt & that was exactly what…
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Veterans
Hate, power, grittiness all leads to war.
Everyday lives are taken, people fighting for who can have more. More of what I ask?
Civilians are on their knees praying that their love ones return safely home.
Yes, truly this men and women have the heart and bravery to be in the front line.
Many say its for the safety of the civilians and their well being.
How many more casualties shall we have, for…
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offended
There is not a day that you don’t come to mind
You were the best teacher we had
You wanted to be remembered
Now you are, but I am afraid that
I miss you terribly
Our time was short
Yet, powerful
Ps. I was asked if someone could write about you, it was a privilege to say, “yes.” They thought I was going to be offended.
-teegar
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Fuisteis Tu
sigo en el mismo lugar
sin ti
pero cada dia es igual
no ay ni un dia que pase sin que te piense
dime porque te fuiste
te fuiste y dejaste un grand vacio
te extraño todos los dias
no me canso de decirte lo
por mas que intento de dejar de pensar en ti
nomas no puedo
cada lugar que voy solo estas tu
tenias razón
que la gente aunque no esté presente
siempre están con uno
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Just Leave
Every time I think I am ready to leave,
I pack up my bags
I have one foot out the door
I don’t know if it’s love or not
The sound of your voice
Your facial expression
But there is always something that pulls me back
I want to leave
I don’t love you
I don’t hate you
but I don’t want to get there
Look, I have loved,
I have cared,
I have had it all
It is just time for TOMORROW to be a new TOMORROW
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Yesterday
Yesterday, is….for yesterday’s worries, while the today is the day that hunts my day.
don’t fuck with people’s lives
don’t fuck with people’s hearts
Yet, somehow it is okay to do it when we have been hurt.
I have come to a conclusion.
Even if we don’t intend to hurt people we do it anyways.
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