thrashmaiden
Never censor your imagination
Running with scissors since the 80's, Human shaped,
headbanger,
Lipstick fiend, latex designer,
vintage collector,
vegemite addict,
optimist,
Australian
Instagram: thrashmaiden
6253 posts
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The internet feels lonely at my age. I miss you
“Nothing better than memories, and there is nothing worse than them.”
— Anton Chekhov
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quick trip to the vending machine
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The Mausoleum by the Phantom Painter
#art#painting#artblr#dark art#goth#gothic#spooky#digital art#illustration#artist#illustrating#illustrations#witch aesthetic#witchcore#witchblr#dark academia#vampire
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🎛️
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Photo
So much amazing in this Polaroid haha.
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Evilutione5150
@evilutione5150
Writing this here seems like a better idea then hammering it out in my physical journal since this is where our friendship began.
Preparing to age myself heavily as I pour my thoughts out into the tumblr void. Thinking about how online culture helped shape me, helped me find friends and connect with the various fringe subcultures littered around the country. What started as a way to pass time in a telco job with unlimited access to the net and a barely basic understanding I started this Tumblr roughly 12 years ago and Acky aka @evilutione5150 was one of my first friends.
He joked with me about music, art, 80s t.v or movies and never missed a pun or 10 deep simpsons quote. He was kind and abrupt and not once did he slide into my DMS looking for an ass pic.
For a girl on tumblr into heavy metal facing the brunt of aggression from men for ‘doing it for attention’ combined with the misstep of using the hashtag #metalchick to try and find other girls into metal and finding only hate, he was a breath of fresh air. No hate, no pick up lines or sleeze. We just chatted like we were stood next to each other at a show.
The first time he posted about one of my fave local and best mates band I instantly reblogged it, excited, they were going to absolutely kill it and they were making people happy and here was the proof, in Ackys words, they did it! He enthusiastically chatted with me about them and would tell me about their shows from across the country.
He was not shy with coming forward about what he did and did not like but more then anything he was inclusive and passionate. Seems like everyone is striving to be exclusive these days, which is wonderful, but he didnt need to learn that, or be shown, he didnt need to be shamed or bullied into it, it was just a small part of the foundation of Acky.
His passion saw him front of the gig, supporting the scene with promos, podcasts, designing shirts and sharing information on pretty much every platform, and for free.
He did so much, just this one guy and now he is just gone?
His shirt designs are still in my top 3 rotations and I have taken my ‘ big sunglasses, very important’ shirt on every trip I have been on and it has been the best conversational piece. His humor translated well through his art and shirt designs. The dry blunt Aussie humor mixed with heavy metal references have lead to me meeting so many new people and each time I would let him know....dude....people LOVE your shirts!
so whats a t shirt? whats the big deal and how does this make him inclusive?
Ackys humor made me feel seen and made me feel like I had somewhere when for most of my life I have been a nomad. He created a way for people to talk to me, to point at my shirt, laugh and strike a convo and some of those interactions have turned into life long friendships.
I'm sure now there are plenty of fifth element or robocop album cover mash ups but at the time he was doing something really cool for so many people involved in fandoms that spanned so far. I chat to so many people about wrestling, or troma films or sci-fi and retro gaming because of Acky. His humour just translated well enough and was not at the expense of others (unless you were a politician) nor was it just a cash grab because pizza+ninja turtles+slayer=profit. He just threw his passions and artistry together and ran with whatever came out which in turn created a wicked community around him.
We initially bonded over BLS, we had the same necklace charm with the logo on a dinky ball chain straight from the 2010s and would discuss at length what shows we would go to, albums we liked, new projects Zakk worked on and he would share his own musical talent which he had a lot of. He spoke kindly of his son and quite frequently would sacrifice his time or skip shows he had been talking about and dreaming about to spend time with him and not once did he complain about the trade off.
I truly think that over the years he has been my biggest supporter in whatever I do. My strongest confident and kindest advocate. We shared our rough times and he would recommend songs or thow me a meme to let me know he understood.
Now as his name slips down my message inbox, and as I post, his notification isn't the first to pop up anymore I feel a new kind of lonely.
Its a kind of lonely I haven't felt since we met from a feeling that goes deeper then a romance or a family bond. He made a community and he let me in.
I hope I made him feel less lonely and I hope I could be there for him the way he was for me. I hope he knew he was loved and that his art and the community he built will live on in some way. I hope his spot at shows is filled and someone else is there to reach out to let others know they have somewhere to belong, if not in person then just online.
He went through a lifetime of pain and discomfort so the idea he is relaxing with his guitar, or cracking his fingers to write out another review or chuckling to himself as he edits his face into another metallica meme is a nice one.
But most of all I hope he found some happiness or comfort in the really wonderful way he impacted those that had the pleasure to know him.
As time unravels and my tears settle, I will have more to say and share but for now Im posting this knowing he wont ever see it, when after so many years on here, he was one of the only people I kept this blog alive for, for so long.
#evilutione5150#friends#personal#online friends#heavy metal#aussie metal#australian metal#metal chick#haha#miss you#community#rest in relax
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