thighs-of-betrayal-or-something - Tumblr blog

thighs-of-betrayal-or-something · 3 years

Text

Ideal and Real (ch.1)

Summary: Bucky might have gotten rid of the Winter Soldier's programming, but he can still feel the Soldier's presence. He decides it's time to get rid of his past self completely.

Bucky Barnes x reader x Winter Soldier

(A preemptive warning that my writing sucks now cause I haven't really been writing in a hot second, but hopefully it will improve as I continue, so constructive criticism is welcome. Also a reminder that requests are open!😊 Other than that, enjoy!)

Bucky knows he shouldn't go back to Wakanda, especially after what happened with Zemo and Walker, but he could still feel the Winter Soldier's presence. The programming may have been removed, but the Soldier still haunted him in a way that was far more real than just a memory or a nightmare.

For the longest time, all Bucky wanted was to be free. He always thought happiness was unobtainable, but now that it's just within his grasp, he's desperate for it. The ideals of a normal life were always just out of reach, but now they were closer than ever.

And this feeling was straining what few relationships he still held on to. It pushed him away from Sam more and more as the weeks went on. He and Sam were friends, the bond between them getting stronger now that they were currently working together on missions and such, but Bucky had been calling off more and more as of late.

All his stress and worries were causing fights with you, and he hated fighting with the one he loved more than anything. He had already let you know that he was set and leaving for Wakanda soon, and hoped for all he was worth that when he came home, he would be able to finally be himself. You could only hope that he came back happier.

And his fears and worries about the Winter Soldier were holding him back again.

It had taken him some time to contact Shuri, and even longer for her to appeal to his request to return, albeit temporarily. She had, however, been quick to let him know how long the procedure could take. He would be away for at least a year, maybe two if things didn't go as planned.

Bucky was hesitant to tell you just how long he would be gone. He hated being away from you just as much as you did, but he knew you would be understanding about the situation. You always were.

"Hey, doll? Can you c'mere with me?" Bucky leaned on the doorway to the kitchen, where you were putting together a cake for Sam's nephews. Usually, Bucky brought a store bought cake to the cookouts for the boys, but since he wouldn't be able to make it to this one, you decided to put your baking skills to the test.

"Of course. Let me just finish icing this and I'll be right there." You knew Bucky would be away for a while, for what, he didn't tell you. He only let you know that it was something to do with his past, so you left it at that. You would help and support him in any way you could.

Bucky walked up to you and planted a kiss on your lips before making his way to the living room. He only had a few hours before Shuri and the Dora Milaje would arrive to take him to Wakanda and he wanted to spend that time with you. A few weeks was hell for him to be away from you, so he wanted to savor your presence before he would be separated from it for a whole year. Granted, he would probably be frosted again, if it was anything like last time.

He had sprawled out and made himself comfortable on the couch while he waited for you. It didn't take but a few minutes for you to come out of the kitchen and approach the new lump on the couch named Bucky. As soon as you came into view, Bucky let a small smile grace his lips. You never failed to make his heart flutter, despite having been together for a good two years now.

"Hey, silly. Scooch over so I can sit!" You giggled at his odd positioning on the couch. He had his leg propped up on the back of the couch, the other leg straightened out and taking up the other cushion. His prosthetic arm was dangling off the side of the couch while his flesh arm was folded behind his head.

"Mm, I'll do you one better." He reached to you with his prosthetic and tugged you to lay on top of him, tucking your head into his chest and wrapping his arm around your waist.

You laughed at his goofy antics. You knew he would be gone for quite some time, so you were glad he was enjoying himself a bit before he left. It would be agonizingly lonely with him gone, but Sarah had been excited about convincing you to come and visit more often, and you knew you could never say no to her. The two of you had clicked as soon as Sam introduced you.

For now, you could only enjoy your time with Bucky before he headed out. The two of you cuddled and mumbled affections to each other for the hours leading up to his leaving. Whatever Shuri had planned for him would be worth it. Bucky was sure of it.

The ride to Wakanda was rather silent, aside from the occasional alert of current coordinates. Shuri had elected to stay behind to get everything set up, so the Dora Milaje were the only company on the ride there. Ayo had explained what would happen during his stay and left it at that. Bucky decided it would be best to accept the silence and try to relax as much as he could. It wasn't that he was uncomfortable with the Dora Milaje, he was just well aware that unnecessary conversation was a no go.

It wasn't but maybe two hours before a pounding at the door made you jump. Bucky moved out from under you, giving you a goodbye kiss before grabbing his belongings.

"Already?" You whined, not wanting him to leave, but knowing it would help him in the end.

"I guess I can let you go.." You teased a bit before pulling him back slightly to give him a peck on the nose. He smiled and slowly made his way to the door.

"You better be ready, cause when I get back, we aren't leaving that bedroom while!" Bucky called out before slipping out the door. He wasn't even down the driveway and he already missed you.

Shuri was immensely excited at his arrival, even if it was mostly to see how his prosthetic was working for him. Bucky was still hardly used to being so welcome, especially since he knew he was still on thin ice from the Zemo situation.

"If all goes well, your stay shouldn't last more than maybe a year, give or take." Shuri already had a good idea on how to separate Bucky from the Winter Soldier, although it hadn't been tested before now. She silently debated telling Bucky he was basically going to be her personal guinea pig while she prepped him to get started, but decided it was best to keep that to herself. She was 100% confident that it would work perfectly fine, but she wasnt sure he would be exactly happy with the result.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #marvel #sam wilson #sarah wilson

25 notes · View notes

thighs-of-betrayal-or-something · 3 years

Text

Memories

(First Marvel fic! Not exactly an x reader or a Stucky fic or anything, but I'll tag it just in case I decide to turn this into a series! Hope you all enjoy despite how short it is!)

Warnings: None!

The Winter Soldier cherished what few memories he had. For the most part, they were all he had left.

He was Hydra's most loyal and lethal weapon. He had no other choice but to kneel and obey, least he lose what few, precious memories he still had left.

Sometimes, he would remember glimpses of his life before Hydra. A blonde, scrawny boy who's name he usually couldn't place. Mentions of a war, although he often sat wondering exactly which one. A fall, the most common, recurring memory.

These memories were the only things Hydra couldn't fully take away. No matter how many times they wiped his mind and shoved him in the cryo chamber, these memories always resurfaced, however faint they were.

There were things he had desperately tried and failed to remember from the pieces. His name was always on the tip of his tongue, and he was sure if someone said it, he would remember. His family. He would sometimes vaguely remember their faces, or what he assumed were the faces of family, and hoped deep down that they were alright.

Other times, he would remember things that kept him awake at night, when he was allowed to sleep after being released from cryo, right before experiments or missions. He would remember the faces and names of those he's killed. A man and a woman. Stark, he thinks their surnames were. A young man, begging, swearing he didn't see a thing.

The Winter Soldier cherished what few memories he had. But sometimes, he was gracious for the memory wipes.

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #i hope this was alright #if not id love feedback so i can improve

8 notes · View notes