theteaesthetic - Tumblr blog

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

I just re-drew this thingie inspired by a pic from Pinterest, let me know if you find the original source bc this is pretty fucking great and helpful 🤍💫

Also I hope you all have a great day and get some rest so you start the week full of energy, ready to kick ass 🥸🤜 ( -me trying to fist-bump u through the internet)

Sending kisses,

and remember: always keep on shining,

B.

68 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

being ia but don't worry I'm still lurking, I c u from the shadowssss 🤠

22 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

note to self:

finals month pressure < taking care of your health whatever it takes

17 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

more ups than downs?

tw: mentions of bad mental health

I debated writing about this for a long time now. I'm not good at describing my exact emotions and putting myself out there in this honest, raw way still feels a bit strange to me. However, I know some of you struggle with what I also struggle with right now and I feel like if anything can help a human being in this situation is knowing that you are not alone. I know it sounds really fucking corny and all but it's true.

DISCLAIMER : I am not a mental health professional but I do think that getting professional help is incredibly valuable and important if you are struggling with anything.

Alright, I won't start dwelling on the past and stuff, as you probably know (or not, if you're not here from Twitter) the last few weeks have been very strange for me. I tried explaining it, but I guess you can't explain what you don't understand. I started looking inward and understanding myself, observing what I felt and why I felt it so that I could put the pieces of the puzzle together. What really happened on the other side of the screen that you're looking at right now is the following: I sat in bed for 2 weeks straight. Big shocker, right? Wrong. It wasn't the first or last time, it was an usual scenery: days passing by, feeling bored of everything and sleeping all day. But this time, besides the back pain and awful amount of cigarette smoke in my lungs, there was somethinng even more harmful happening inside of me. Not only did I not socialize with anyone, or if I did I acted very irritated, but I ignored calls from loved ones that live far away, I didn't attend my online classes and I had no intention of taking care of myself or the space around me. I thought it was a random wave of procastination and sadness, but as the days passed I felt like I wanted to get better but I couldn't. I felt like something was very wrong and I had to just sit there and watch it all happen. The strongest emotions I felt were loneliness, sadness, anger, guilt and fear. I felt incredibly bad for ignoring everyone around me or pushing them away yet I couldn't stop, and I still feel all of those things if it gets a little quiet. Some of you asked me how I got better, and the rest of you may be wondering "okay but what's the point in typing this out and posting it wtf", and I agree, there is no point. Other than being able to say: look, I know it's bad, but let the voice that says "I WANT and CHOOSE to be better" be a little louder than the mean ones. The only difference between me rn and me ~3 weeks ago sitting in bed is the choice to get better. I started calling my friends back slowly, calling my family back. I started attending uni classes, working out, eating better, and I took care of myself and my space. The key word here is SLOWLY. I know it can be scary, but take baby steps towards healing. Accept yourself, as flawed as you are, and try not to trigger the little devil on your shoulder. It will happen eventually, but you will be able to realize it's happening. I am not saying I am fully healed or in a dream-like mental state, but I am trying, and thats's all that matters right now. You are not crazy, lazy or less than anything. So next time you think about something negative let your mind say "hey!!!! I know what this is!!! we do not like this!!!" and slowly you will understand your thought patterns and how they affect you. I will be blunt: it's really fucking hard, to say the least, but know that everything that comes your way is meant for you and you ARE strong enough to handle it. It will be harder for you, especially on the bad days, but with determination and great people around you (*if u feel alone join studytwt, trust me*) it is possible. Think of yourself as the brightest star on the sky, although there are cloudy days you can't let them dim your light, especially when they aren't even there. You will be there when the clouds leave, you'll take a deep breath, and you WILL shine again, brighter than ever before.

Sorry for the long text post ://

Sending love to whoever needs it,

B.

7 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

as a great woman once said:

" I took some time off to rest and now IT'S GAME TIME BITCHES! "

I started to like messier desks hihi 🌷

117 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

" the only way out is through "

26 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

good morning! 🌸

#student #study #studyblr #motivation #studyaccount #studygram #students #art #med stuff #medical #photography #nature #flowers

35 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

About failure, and why it is necessary

Hello cuties,

as some of you probably know I had a fair share of failure in my life both on personal and professional levels. My most recent experience motivated me into finally delivering my thoughts about the not-so-great parts of self-growth to you.

I'd like to start off by saying that failure for me as a concept is a negative experience regarding a goal or dream that has not been reached. Think about that train you missed, that person who didn't like you back, missing an assignment or failing an exam. It sucked, right? But I suppose it didn't kill you since you're reading this right now. And that's the key to failing: letting it hurt then letting it go.

A little bit about my professional failures:

Last week I failed my first exam in university, but it wasn't the first time I felt terrible because of something school-related. I study nursing right now, but if someone asked me last year about my university choices I'm sure I wouldn't have even mentioned nursing. I wanted to apply to medical school but I lost my way in quarantine and was too scared to apply. So I'm here, in the same city, studying something similar, on my plan B. Don't get me wrong, I'm endlessly grateful for everything I've experienced and everyone I've met along the way, but I always ask myself "what if?".

A little bit about my personal failures:

Growing up I had the opportunity to be around strong willed, wonderful people, but I was sometimes burdened with things a child shouldn't be worrying about. I have accumulated lots of coping mechanisms, habits and patterns that aren't always favorable to me, and I'm slowly undoing the toxic spider web that formed around me as the years passed. Also, as any other human being, I had my fair share of struggles romantically but all of it carved my heart into the one it is today and I'm very thankful for that. Anyways...

For me failure always meant that I am not enough to reach my goals, and recently I've come to the realization that I don't have to measure myself, I don't have to be enough for anything or anyone. I could let the thought of "not being enough" break me, I could cry every night over my past choices and suffocate in self hatred, but what is the point of that? Why would I give anything enough power to break me? I would like for this year to be about gratitude, love and hard work for me, and I'm making baby steps towards becoming the woman I always wanted to be. With that said: stop letting your brain tell you that failure is bad. Look at it like a sign and know that there is always a reason things don't work out the way you wanted them to. There is always room to improve. When one door closes another one opens, and if it doesn't, then take your broken pieces, pick yourself up and open a window for yourself. Everything you need in order to grow and shine is already within you, just find the courage to let it all out. As a conclusion I'd like to share a little something that I have saved in my notes for the days when I don't feel like myself:

" If the mountain seems too big today then climb the hill instead. If the morning brings you sadness it's okay to stay in bed. If the day ahead weighs heavy, and your plans feel like a curse there's no shame in rearranging, don't make yourself feel worse. If a shower stings like needles, and the bath feels like you've drowned, if you haven't washed your hair in days, don't throw away your crown. The day is not a lifetime, a rest is not defeat. Don't think of it as failure, just a quiet, kind retreat. It's okay to take a moment from an anxious, fractious mind. The world will not stop turning while you get realigned. The mountain will still be there when you want to try again. You can climb it in your own time, just love yourself until then. "

I hope you find the strength to chase after your wildest dreams.

Love ,

B.

30 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

here's a pretty sky pic since i haven't posted in a while 🤠

#student #study #studyblr #motivation #studyaccount #studygram #students #art #med stuff #medical #skyphotography #sunrise #sunnyday #cloudlover #sunset #nature #blue moodboard #study aesthetic #aesthetic

19 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

#NFTumblcryptids

2 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

Haven't posted in a while but damn it feels good to be back 🤍🤠

since the weather got colder and I don't feel the best let me present u yesterday's immaculate vibes:

20 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

reading in bed is by far my favorite guilty pleasure ♡

44 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

(partly) physically attending courses at uni!!! excited but scareddd

#student #study #studyblr #motivation #studyaccount #studygram #students #med stuff #medical #medstudent #medicine #study buddy #study space #study hacks #studystudystudy #study tips #studywithme #study hard

11 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

Good morning!! 💕💕💕

~ can't help being an iced coffee lover ~

189 notes · View notes

theteaesthetic · 3 years

Text

some days it pours, and that’s okay

Disclaimer: This post will not be about studying or uni related stuff.

Hi. I’m glad you’re here.

The past few days have been really eye-opening for me. I had to fall in order to get up, and that’s exactly what happened. I tried to be cheerful all the time, to work out every day, eat clean, and ignore what my intuition told me. I ruined my sleep schedule to the point that I would be sleeping 2-3 hours a night. Besides the physical effects of this, I got really sad. I couldn’t get myself to feel better and I took out my anger on people I care about, trying to push them away. I always pushed myself to work out, (mostly out of self hatred) and felt guilty every second I spent doing something else than studying. This is not me. This is not who I want to be.

I am trying to be kinder this year. Both to myself and to others. I am constantly trying to work on myself and spread joy, but I’m made out of flesh (too). I fuck this up sometimes, and that’s okay. There will be days when the world won’t smile back at me and that’s alright. I am learning to love myself deeply, thoroughly and with undeniable devotion. I am forgiving and appreciating myself, that’s how I heal. I’m still trying to forgive the old me for the way I treated myself in the past and I know better than that now. However, this love is still very new to me.

So takes this as a reminder that YOU are the love of your life. Now act like it.

- thank you for everyone who understood that me being inactive lately was a self-care related choice, I am greatful for all of you -

I’d like to end all of this journal/update thingie with a quote from Paulo Coelho, one of my all time favorite authors:

“ The moment we begin to seek love, love begins to seek us. And to save us.”

Keep on shining!

Love,

B.