theonyxranger

[theonyxranger]

The oldest living tree ever found was a pine named “Prometheus.” It had been alive since before the Egyptian pyramids were built. Some guy cut it down in 1964. Source

#afk

[theonyxranger]

having online friends is sooooo crazy because it starts by sending ridiculous memes and then one day it’s like omg. home is a person I’ve never physically met

#afk

[theonyxranger]

Elden Ring ᨖ ↳ Stormveil Castle

#afk

[theonyxranger]

Zenless Zone Zero | Billy Kid

#afk #that's rad

[theonyxranger]

My sister sent this to me, and as a lesbian in MA I can't say anything lmao

#afk

[theonyxranger]

also im basically a 6'4" 13 year old child so keep that in mind too

"But you don't LOOK like you're almost 30" yeah thanks that's because about ten years ago the internet decided to hammer into everyone in my and my parents' generation the idea that a masc-presenting individual's age and maturity correlates visually with the length of their facial hair and not only do I hate how it looks and feels on my body mine grows slowly enough that I can shave once or twice a week and still get carded at my local liquor stores and grocery stores.

#self rb #brevity is the soul of wit #and i am soulless and unfunny

[theonyxranger]

"But you don't LOOK like you're almost 30" yeah thanks that's because about ten years ago the internet decided to hammer into everyone in my and my parents' generation the idea that a masc-presenting individual's age and maturity correlates visually with the length of their facial hair and not only do I hate how it looks and feels on my body mine grows slowly enough that I can shave once or twice a week and still get carded at my local liquor stores and grocery stores.

#nyx post #sorry im just mad at how often people say WOW YOU LOOK SO YOUNG #no i dont your concept of age and interpretation of personal style is just skewed by hipsters on social media in the 2010s

[theonyxranger]

one of the most infuriating things about becoming an adult is when you realize that it actually is 10x easier to solve problems by making a phone call vs literally any other communication method

#i dont get the total aversion to phone calls #i just find it easier to say the thing out loud than to type the thing out

[theonyxranger]

me to my giant evil robot of which i am piloting when the stalwart hero activates it’s self destruct sequence

[theonyxranger]

I've been staring at this gif for ages and it's so funny.

Maul is just showing off and does this completely unnecessary jump to back away, doesn't bother to use the Force to open the doors but throws something at the controls.

AND FUCKING OBI-WAN KENOBI CASUALLY WALKS UP TO HIM, SWINGING HIS LIGHTSABER LIKE "YEAH I'M GONNA FUCK YOU UP BITCH"

The longer I look at it the funnier it gets. He's just not impressed at all lmao

#thats just how ray park is #and furthermore #that's just how obi-wan is

[theonyxranger]

#little over 3 years old

[theonyxranger]

woman walking a husky and a maltese and her arms are splayed out like christ on the cross cause of their opposite temperaments. husky pointed like an arrow down the path and the maltese smelling the concrete with great slow consideration. she is grimacing. this is a new tarot card to me, but just another day on earth

#afk

[theonyxranger]

Me.

#afk

[theonyxranger]

#afk

[theonyxranger]

#afk

[theonyxranger]

blasts your baja

#nyx post

[theonyxranger]

"Sire, a new follower to our cause is at the gate."

"Do they have an icon?"

"Nay, sire, a default icon."

"Do they have a title?"

"Untitled, sire."

"Do they carry posts?"

"A single reblog of a recent fandom post."

"Hmmm... I'll risk it. Let them in."

"Very well, my liege."

"Wait! What is their url?"

"I believe it is 'gender-critical-kirby', my lord."

"Kirby would never! Shut the gate and banish this TERF from my realm!"

#afk