theonly1outof-a-billion

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

had a dream last night where I took a uquiz called “what do you serve?” and at first the questions were standard but as the quiz progressed they became more and more highly specific to me personally and the answers became more and more similar and I realised the quiz Knew me and was forcing me into being honest by giving me no other option so I tried to click out but it just went to the next question which was “are you the spider? or are you the web?” and it had an option for each but I didn’t click either so it then turned to a text box and I typed “I think I’m the fly” and the quiz paused for a while and then took me to a results page that said “you serve truth” and the description just read “what you know will kill you but you will die laughing” so like. good morning everyone I guess :/

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

If you ever notice a post that seems completely random: it's on purpose. I never make mistakes and reblog to the wrong blog

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

universities in america are called Michigan University and universities in england are called Our Lady Beverly's Dunwich Moor Academy For Gifted Little Boys

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

this post will probably appear in someone’s english language defense

you can make nearly any object into a good insult if you put ‘you absolute’ in front of it

example: you absolute coat hanger

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

Trying to get a glass of water but i cant. The water goes up

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

You live in a very haunted house, but it’s not that bad. The voices in the basement remind you of your laundry and tell you to check the boiler, the rat size talking spider keeps the pests away and is a pretty good therapist, and the victorian ghost children are great friends with your kids.

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

i swear to god if one more stupid fandom ruins a beautiful text post i am calling the police

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

“How many people have died to achieve this world domination of yours?” “769.” “…What?” “769 people died to achieve my plans. I counted them, and had each of their names etched on my throne so I never forget what my victory cost the world. Now tell me, how many have you killed to see me dead?”

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

her favorite lipstick

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

GAGO i thought i was the only one who found umn megamind attractive

MILO FROM ATLANTIS WAS HOT AS FUCK 🗣‼️

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

#I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE OMGG

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

Why do real laptops never have designs that slap this hard

[theonly1outof-a-billion]

my little brother came into my room and told me that there was water all over the bathroom floor so i got up and grabbed a towel and ran into the bathroom to find all of my water energy pokemon cards sprawled out on the floor this kid is 5 fucking years old and he got me