the-roman-imperatrix

[the-roman-imperatrix]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Reblog if you have Roman Republic content on your blog

(aside from just during the international Tumblr holiday that is the Ides of March)

Put in the tags who your favs are

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Julius Caesar when he becomes dictator

#ancient rome #julius caesar #roman republic

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Happy Ides of March, everyone.

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Romance is not mandatory to have a good plot!

Let's repeat it until society understand.

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It looks like Sulla invaded Duolingo

#ancient rome #lucius cornelius sulla #roman republic #s*xy s*lla

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Sulpicius in an evil league of his own

#ancient rome #roman republic #sulpicius #commit to the bit

[the-roman-imperatrix]

*48 hours after being introduced with a punic war hyperixation* There needs to be a Second Punic War Musical for god's sake WHERE IS HOLLYWOOD---

[the-roman-imperatrix]

I'm not even into military history but the Second Punic War goes so hard:

A cycle of revenge across two continents

Tactical and strategic brilliance

Deadly ramifications of colonialism and toxic masculinity

Gender-nonconforming Scipio Africanus

Hannibal the child soldier with generational trauma

Defense of the realm allocated to a man named Mr. Bean

Mr. Bean refuses to actually fight Hannibal and it WORKS

Motherfucking elephants crossing the motherfucking Alps

Scipio letting his arch-nemesis go free because, after twenty years of war, they've developed a grudging mutual respect, and have more in common with each other than with their own governments

Where is the enemies to lovers lesbian fanfiction??

[the-roman-imperatrix]

you are a roman senator, and one of your fellow senators just called you effeminate! what to do?

well, first you have to find out: how effeminate are you, really? take this test to find out!

do you:

like to wear the colors yellow, bright green, light blue, purple, or lavender: +1 for each

like to wear long sleeves: +1

enjoy the company of women: +1

like to wear perfume: +1

curl or style your hair: +1

shave any area of your body (other than your face and/or head) +1

move carefully in order to not mess up your outfit/hair/makeup: +1

wear a loose belt, or no belt: +1

like to wear loose fitting clothing: +1

have a lot of casual sex: +1

ever bottom in sexual encounters: +5

love your wife and are open about it: +1

like to wear translucent fabrics, or silk: +1 for each

wear your tunic longer than knee length: +1

wear more than one or two rings: +1

wear other jewelry (earrings, necklaces etc): +1

wear makeup: +1

have a complex and flamboyant oratorial style: +1

have long hair: +1

like to wear slippers: +1

enjoy living luxuriously: +1

have little impulse control: +1

once you have your total number, match it to these results!

0-4: you are a proper, virtuous roman man. only your political enemies would call you effeminate, and they do that to everyone. even if you scored a couple of points, most people understand that nobody is perfect.

5-10: you're getting into some dangerous territory here... you'd better watch out or your fellow senators will ridicule you for your womanish ways.

11-20: you are effeminate. all the other senators are definitely making fun of you. they're glancing at you, whispering in each others' ears and giggling as you walk in there with your little perfumed hairdo, or your fancy little outfit, or whatever got you a score this high.

21-25: “For one who daily perfumes himself and dresses before a mirror, whose eyebrows are trimmed, who walks abroad with beard plucked out and thighs made smooth, who at banquets, though a young man, has reclined in a long-sleeved tunic on the inner side of the couch with a lover, who is fond not only of wine but of men—does anyone doubt that he does what cinaedi commonly do?" *

26-31: you may as well just embrace it at this point. no one can dampen your effeminate swag if you just don't care what they think! you can even feel proud that you got the high score.

if you want to read more, this is a pretty good article that covers a lot of this stuff: https://www.jstor.org/stable/24616489

*(Gellius, Noctes Atticae 6.12.5, tr. J.C. Rolfe)

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Imagine you're trash talking your rival in the forum and he shows up, says, "Have fun, I'm off to sacrifice a bull," and the entire assembly just gets up and leaves with him.

I think I'd melt into a puddle and not leave my house for the rest of the year.

Nathan Rosenstein, “Aristocratic Values,” in A Companion to the Roman Republic, eds. Nathan Rosenstein and Robert Morstein-Marx

[the-roman-imperatrix]

💥🙌👏

[the-roman-imperatrix]

On the one hand it does get tired and frustrating when people have no clue what terfs actually are & what they believe in But on the other. You have to admit it's really funny that they failed so hard at being trans exclusionary radical *feminists* that basically any instance of misogyny being perpetrated by other women can be mistaken for terf rhetoric by someone who isn't well versed in theory. Womp womp

[the-roman-imperatrix]

can’t criticize plastic surgery as an institution because it’s none of your business if a woman wants to “fix” her insecurities. can’t criticize the makeup industry or beauty standards because some women feel good when they shave and wear makeup. can’t bring up the challenges women face in the workplace because some women want to be stay at home wives instead of working. everything a woman does is automatically feminist and we shouldn’t stop to think about the context surrounding her actions because that would be misogynistic. here’s what i had for girl dinner. according to my girl math the barbie movie was a revolutionary piece of feminist media. i may not show it but i feel the life slowly draining from me day by day.

[the-roman-imperatrix]

made another one

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Publius Clodius Pulcher and I have long ebony black hair (when I'm sneaking into the Bona Dea rite) with purple streaks and red tips and icy blue eyes like limpid tears and a lot of people tell me I look like Sempronia the conspirator (AN: if u don’t know who she is get da hell out of here!). I'm related to Clodia Metelli but I wish I wasn't because she's a major fucking hottie. My brother's a witch, and we're in the senate in Rome where I'm a tribune of the plebs. I'm a plebeian (in case you couldn't tell, CICERO) and I wear mostly black. For example today I was wearing a black toga with matching lace around it and a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets and black combat boots. I was walking in the forum. A lot of optimates stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

[the-roman-imperatrix]

Clodia Metelli, Aurelia Cotta, and Fulvia are so slept on.

Flattening the Roman Empire to a bunch of conquest boys or the Roman emperors or whatever men are stereotypically interested in really does a disservice to anyone who would have been interested in the history of that region but now isn’t.

The Roman Empire meme pisses me off because of the cultural connotations being applied. The idea that the Roman Empire was something inherently violent/dominating/driven by war and barbarism and that that’s all it was. Over 1000 years of human history framed as just boys fucking about ‘being boys’ with the violence and dominating being the thing that makes it masculine.

The association of masculinity with violence and domination. The idea of violence and domination being inherently masculine and an immutable aspect of men. Where have I heard that before? Oh yeah. Transphobes.

Gender essentialism is bad. Even if it’s a ‘funny meme’ it still perpetuates harmful ideas.

#ancient rome