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the-panmixxia · 9 months

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Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 6

"Oh, Roman, say cheese! I gotta show Logie this." Patton cooed, holding up a phone covered in a fluffy case.

Virgil inwardly sighed, flexing spook's toes to push sharp claws deeper into the arm holding spook. Not that Roman seemed to care, holding Virgil up like a kid showed off their newest arts n crafts. Spook had been subject to another bath - and although the water was pleasant, the soap gentle, and the clawed hands massaging it in was even gentler - the whole thing was stressful, mainly because spook was with two strangers, and could sit rather comfortably in either of their hands.

It reminded Virgil of Janus, when he called spook fragile.

"Now you're all clean, let's see if Tabitha likes you! Oh, she used to love looking after the babies. I had her spayed before sending her out to adoption. Sometimes that can change their feelings about being a surrogate mama."

Virgil was carefully placed inside a strange, mini tent made of mesh and zipped all the way shut. Spook blinked up at Roman, who smiled and gave a thumbs up.

"No need to worry, my feline friend! This is a mere precaution, I have complete faith that Tabitha will take to you. You'll be romping around with her in nay time."

Princey sure was passionate.

A bedroom door opened up, and out came Patton, cradling a tabby cat. The Were smiled, running a gentle hand over her head.

"C'mon, Tabitha, come meet the baby."

The cat was plonked in front of Virgil, and all at once, spook recognised the cat.

"Latte! It's you!" Spook wanted to cheer, yet it came out as a strange, high pitched chirp. Late returned the noise enthusiastically with a chirp of her own, eyes wide and purring before deciding to do a forward roll right onto Virgil's tent, as though she could squash spook with all of the affection in her fluffy little body.

Patton gasped before crooning at the cuteness, kneeling down to stroke Latte as she tried to rub her way through the mesh. Virgil tried to meekly greet her back with a nuzzle of spook's own, which honestly set her purrs off more. Honestly, spook didn't know if she somehow recognised Virgil or was simply lost in the baby sauce.

"Okay, okay! Jeeze, you clearly like the kitty, huh? Oh you're such a good girl." Patton cooed as he unzipped Virgil's tent, scooping spook under the stomach and quickly depositing the kitten in front of Latte.

It took less than a second for Latte to scruff the little kitten, happily toting spook up a nearby cat tree for some optimal tlc.

"meow. Meow. MEOW!"

"Oh, you little thing. I'm not leaving forever, I'm going to work. Roman will look after you! And Tabitha is gonna play with you aaaallllllll day."

That was not Virgil's concern. Patton was trying to leave and Virgil still hadn't gotten to steal some fur! Spook needed it, but Latte had been relentless. The only time spook had been close enough to Patton was when the Were served some more milky food to help 'wean' the kitten. Virgil jumped forward to take a bite, but Patton dodged in much due time, cooing over how eager Virgil was to eat.

It was ten minutes past nine, now, and while Patton was almost definitely running late, he was seemingly very hesitant to leave. Roman sat at the breakfast bar, only an arms length from the cat tower Virgil was held hostage on, chomping away at a stack of French toast.

Bizarrely, Patton had also begun baking a pie, before leaving it in the oven not yet turned. Maybe he was just really fond of meal prep.

"My dear friend, you must go to work and cease your fretting! Your marvelous moggies are more than safe in my hands."

"But, kiddo, Logan isn't here yet. He's normally here by now, but I haven't even gotten a text that he's on his way!"

"I'm sure microsoft turd is doing just fine. He's probably found some paperwork left in the library's printer and decided to complete it for fun."

Patton hummed, a very parent like noise that conveyed 'I'm listening to you to be encouraging but I'm not at all paying attention'

After a moment Patton gasped, speed walking to the door and swinging the door open.

"Logan, there you are! And you brought a friend! Come on in, kiddos."

"Hello Patton," Logan greeted, just as rigid as at the library. "This is Remy, we are here to explain a very important situation about the kitten you have -"

"Latte! Baby girl, there you are!" Remy squealed.

Latte finally ditched Virgil, making a noise close to a quack before leaping off the cat tree and running over to her original owner. Remy scooped her up, nuzzling and giving kisses, mumbling nonsense with the odd curse word sprinkled in.

"Aww, Tabitha, is this your real owner? I'm so happy."

Wait, this was perfect, Virgil could grab this pelt now, Remy was there and was holding Latte to make a dash for it. So, with a lot less grace than the adult (and real) cat, Virgil dismounted the cat tree, yowling for a moment before charging the hairy pair of werewolf legs.

"Oh!" was all Patton said, watching the cute charge, while Logan simply scruffed the kitten before it made contact with Patton.

"No need for that, Virgil. We are discussing your situation now."

"What are you on about, specs?" Roman quizzed, not yet finished staring at the stranger currently in their house, cuddling a cat they'd known for over a year.

"This is not a kitten." Logan said simply gesturing to Virgil's tiny body. "This is a curse. Virgil is a human who upset a warlock, and now turns into a kitten at night. In fact, if my timing is correct, spook shall be turning right about now."

The 'now' was punctuated by transformation, then Virgil promptly falling on spooks face. While Patton fretted to peel the stranger off the floor, Remy responded as any best friend would. Laughter.

"Oh, gosh, I'm afraid I really don't understand what's going on here." Patton admitted, looking from Virgil to Logan. The vampire straightened his tie and began to explain.

"These two came to the library a while back to help translate old text for a curative spell intended to reverse the curse placed on spook. To complete it, Virgil needs a blue flame, a serpine shed, fae blood, vampire venom, and were pelt. I believe it is in our best interests, objectively, to assist Virgil. So, Patton, if it wouldn't be too much bother, would you be willing to sacrifice a little bit of hair?"

"Oh, of course! It'll always grow back."

"Wonderful. I need to cure copper sulfate quickly. Then we can convene on the roof terrace."

"What about me?" Roman asked "I'm not sure how fae can donate blood. I know we absorb the needle at hospitals, but I'm sure I could try and give some."

"Actually, I uh. I already have your blood?" Virgil hummed, more like a question.

Roman blinked, before shrugging.

"From…the laundry room?"

"Uh, yeah. The laundry room. Um. Sorry."

"This is almost embarrassing," Janus complains. "It's like the longer we go trying to get information from people the less we frighten them."

"Yeah, I'm kinda surprised we haven't had the cops called on us yet, given the fact you keep interrogating anyone entering the building and trying to girlboss your way in."

"Our legality isn't helped by you getting naked every hour, Remus."

"Legality, schmegality. I say we burn this building, smoke the emo out!"

"Always with the fires, Remus, dare I say it's getting cliché - wait. Fire. I smell copper sulfate."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, oh" Janus snapped. "Some unqualified dumbass is trying to make a bootleg spell without the actual magic."

Remus stayed quiet for a moment, before pointing up at the building.

"Clench your butt cheeks again, I need to see that purple line."

"I don't have to - ah whatever, it's fine. Here it is."

The trail of purple was stronger now, probably feeding off the artificial magic from the flame. It trailed all the way up the building, causing Remus to smirk.

"I think that may be our unqualified dumbass trying to make bootleg spells without any actual magic."

A brief and horrified look came about Janus, glancing up before turning to Remus.

"Get us up there, we need to stop Virgil from whatever stupid spell spook has figured out."

Two large wings unfurled from Remus' back, bat-like and black, with quite a few tattoos carefully carved in green ink to make a gorgeous contrast. Janus mentally sighed before making his way to Remus, ready to be picked up. Clawed fingers pulled him close and secure, and in mere seconds, the imp was flying around (but mostly up)

"Well, that flame sure is blue. Good job specs." Roman cheered, perched on an aircon unit and watching his vampire roommate sprinkle flakes of copper to turn the flames blue.

Logan nodded, once, politely, and stood back up.

"This flame should suffice for your needs. Begin to add the ingredients, with your own contribution last."

Virgil nodded, wringing spooks hands together, deciding to first toss in the molted gorgon skin. The flame briefly became green, thinning up into a serpent silhouette before dying down into it's original form. Cool.

Logan nodded an approval, brandishing his vial of venom and tossing it to the flame. This time, the flame turned dark red into the shape of a heart.

Roman mumbled a soft "Spoopy" while Remy just snorted a vague amusement.

Virgil was ready for the next step, twisting the top of the sample container, swishing the golden ichor around for a moment before pouring the whole thing in. For this ingredient, the flame became a shimmering gold, the flames turning into butterflies and flying away - before turning to normal, obviously. Though Virgil felt a noticeable difference, the flame was much hotter that usual.

Sending Roman a side glance, spook smiled awkwardly with a shrug.

"Sorry again about stealing your blood. Not my best moment."

"It's quite alright! It was only very weird. If it was extremely weird I might've taken offence."

"Not even gonna pretend that makes sense. Anyway, uh, Patton?"

"Hm?" Patton responded, snapping back from that distant look.

"I was gonna ask for your hair but, uh, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm good, kiddo, I just... Do you think, once you're all okay again, we could like - all of us, be buddies? I know we're only hanging out cause you need help - which I'm so happy to give you! - but uh. Will you be friends? Even when you don't have to?"

Virgil blinked, touched by the soft moment. Logan and Roman didn't need to send Virgil warning glares, though they certainly did, cause spook already knew the answer.

"Of course, Pat. You're... Cool. I'd love to just hang out. Not in a purrito this time, tho."

Patton gave a little giggle as fae grabbed the pre-braided lock of hair, snipping it off with little thought and tossing it to the flame. This time it turned silver, spreading flat and wide until it was almost a circle - probably to look like the moon. When the flame reformed to blue, it began to dance around, floating between the group. Trying to find a host.

All that was left was for Virgil to donate some blood, so it knew who to attach itself to.

"Uh, Virgie-poo, the fuck is behind you?" Remy said abruptly, speaking for the first time in a while.

Virgil glanced behind spookself, catching a purple thread coming from the ledge and straight to Virgil's chest.

"Oh, brother." Was all Virgil could utter before a hyper imp soared high up, before landing in a way that only nearly crashed twice.

A small growl escaped Patton, matching hisses from the vampires, and a small pulse of golden energy from Roman. Yet all Virgil could do was huff and confidently stomp over to greet the two.

"The hell are you two doing?"

"Oh, Virgil, please say you aren't going to do that stupid spell."

"Unbelievable. Haven't spoken in years and your first sentence is a dig at me."

"It wasn't a - look, listen, these spells are cheap and unstable, they can have all sorts of nasty side effects."

"...I don't care." Virgil said, simply. Spook turned back to approach the flame, still spinning around to find a host.

"Look, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have stalked and cursed you, but please don't do this, I can fix it for you, let me-"

"No! I'm going to do it MYSELF!"

With this final declaration, Virgil was slicing spooks hand, holding it out to bleed into the flame. It glistened, turning a soft lilac before the flame lept into Virgil.

It didn't burn, though the impact was enough to knock spook over. The world span, before disappearing for a good few seconds. When Virgil awoke, just about everyone was huddled around spook. Virgil sat up, batting them all away and simply trying not to vomit. Spook's ears twitched and flicked, in the entirely wrong place to be natural.

Reaching a hand up to feel, Virgil could only stare blankly in frank disbelief.

"Pfft," Remy huffed as they tried to lighten the mood. "Virgey got the cat-boy treatment. You gotta invest in a maid outfit now, babes."

"Oh, heaven's, Virgil. Look at what you've done." Janus tutted, gentle hands maneuvering spooks face around to gauge a better look "Oh and a tail, this is a mess."

Remus beamed from behind the fussy warlock, miming cat paws and 'grooming' himself (which was probably the closest thing to grooming he'd done in a while). "Loving the neko look, Virgie. I'm sure your tumblr mutuals will positively cream!"

"Shut up, Remus, you're gross" Virgil huffed, looking annoyed for a moment before melting.

Glancing around at everyone, Spooks old family, current roommate, the maybe-friends spook had made from rather contrived circumstances. Family was a strange thing, and Virgil still held a lot of hostility about being cursed like that, even if it wasn't the worst thing Janus could've stuck on spook. Janus needed to learn to apologize. Virgil needed to learn to accept an apology without it simply being appeasement. Virgil didn't fully forgive Janus yet, but surely the fact that socking the warlock in the face didn't even spring to mind anymore was a good sign.

It was likely that the two still had things to argue about, and Remus would tag along to wind them both up in a way that somehow brought them closer, as it always did. Virgil also wanted to carefully test the warm relationship that Patton seemed so keen on. Remy was already mingling with the trio like they were lifelong friends, and the fact that Virgil didn't feel jealous that spook was losing the vamp, well it proved that spook just might be expanding spooks friendship group. What a concept.

With all this in mind, Virgil batted Janus' hands away, ignoring the warlock's hurt look, meeting his eye with a determined look.

"I think we all should hang out at my place, for a bit. Since you came all this way."

Janus blinked, adjusting his gloves and giving a curt nod.

"Certainly. That sounds agreeable." Everyone else muttered positive words, a distinctly Patton-esque voice excited over the prospect of a 'sleepover'.

"Good. You're ordering food for us all, for being such a dick."

Remy cackled at that, highfiving Virgil as spook held open the access door, allowing everyone to get back inside the building. Janus was the last person in line, and he sent Virgil a stupid, sappy smile.

"Oh, Virgil, I've missed you. Never change."

"I already have, Janus." And spook didn't just mean the new cat features.

"And, well, that's okay."

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the-panmixxia · 9 months

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Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 5

Two figures wandered through narrow alleys, closely following a magical, purple thread as it flickered in and out of existence. Janus huffed in frustration as it completely disappeared, lowering his hands and rubbing them to ease the cramping.

"This isn't working." Janus mumbled, rather grumpy. Remus grinned, quite happy to trot next to the frustrated warlock.

"I still say we should hijack a sound system and blast Paramore until the little emo scuttles out of a crevice!"

Janus simply rolled his eyes, fiddling with the lapels of his peacoat before reengaging his spiritual bonds. A neon green thread lead straight to Remus, an orange thread trailing far east to his brother a few states away. And one, faint purple thread, barely there and leading them dead ahead. A tether to Virgil.

A tether that flickered once more, and disappeared into nothingness.

"Don't fret, Janny! It was going a bit to the left. That's a direction to get waking in, huh?"

The two kept walking, Janus eyeing the sky critically. It was going to rain soon, and in no less than an hour Virgil would be transforming back into a kitten. The guilt threatened to eat him alive at any moment, though it was rather difficult to wallow in past mistakes when a devilish imp was hanging off your arm, singing crude parodies to pop songs under their breath.

"Hmm. Maybe Virgil is in there?" Remus says with a smirk, nodding towards a building across the street. Music could be heard from inside, and neon signs in the window depicting silhouettes of girls in bikinis, it was rather apparent what the place was. "I think we ought to check it out, just in case."

"Something tells me that our socially anxious, asexual friend is not going to be in a bloody strip club!"

Remus simply grinned, shrugging his shoulders. "I dunno, maybe spook will surprise you. I bet Virgie is getting a lap dance right now. Oh, can you imagine?"

Janus scoffed, cuffing the horny imp round the ear. "Give the Gods a break Remus, we find Virgil this week I'll give you a lap dance myself. Let's get moving."

With the vague promise of a lap dance from his favorite, uptight warlock, Remus seemed a lot more motivated to find the third roommate. That's not to say Remus wasn't worried about Virgil, or that he didn't want spook back. It was just that…well, Virgil was a human equivalent of an adult, and technically within spooks right to disappear into the night like a much less intimidating Batman.

The pessimism was pissed out of his bloodstream the second Janus was able to clench his ass and get the magic up and running once more. This time, the thread traveled a few feet ahead before curving upwards to a tall apartment complex. It disappeared before it could hit a particular floor, but unless Virgil was hovering behind the building with a new found flying ability, then spook was almost definitely in that apartment building. Spooks house, most likely. At least that curbed one concern, that Virgil's intense hatred of social interaction lead to a lack of job and housing. Before all this drama Virgil was working at an extremely quiet leather shop, usually spending spooks whole day listening to some variant of a "this generation doesn't know good leather when they see it" rant. Virgil insisted it was better than dealing with customers.

"Oh, fuck yeah. Imma be having that lap dance before sunrise!"

Janus flushed a gentle pink on the left of his face, tugging his gloves with a huff.

"Oh, shut up. We've got at least a hundred apartments to search, and before that we've got to find a way in without looking like criminals."

"Pshh. No building is gonna keep my slippery dick in or out."

"Bitch. BITCH! NU-UH, I'm liking none of this."

"Remy, we've been brainstorming all week. I'm telling you, Patton had zero interest in eating me. I think fae just fosters cats? Like, for fun?"

"Latte didn't need fostering, she had an extremely loving owner!"

"I mean, you never really got her chipped or put any identification on her. Besides those stupid crochet hats you'd wrestle on to her."

Remy let out a primal hiss that would've had any caregiving vampire going feral, though only served to raise Virgil's brow in an unamused manner - spook had heard the whole spectrum of nestling noises from Remy, not much have Virgil pause anymore.

"Sorry, Remy. Those hats were dumb. And I need to get fostered by this big ass werewolf so I can bite a big ass chunk of fur out to act as a pelt."

"And then I'm gonna bust you out by knocking on the door and insisting that's my kitty?"

"Yeah. You should have finished at the library by nine am, come back with your librarian venom and once I've poofed back we should be golden to go through this reversal!"

"This is gonna suck. You're making me deal with two of the biggest bitches ever, like I actually don't know who's worse, the nerdy librarian or the cat-napping dog -"

Virgil huffed, smacking Remy's arm to stop them mid rant. "Are you doing it or not, Remy?"

The two paused, staring at each other, Virgil trying to control spooks anxious breathing and Remy - well, they technically didn't have to breathe, but he sighed and huffed plenty.

"Of course, Vee. We've got each other's back, we're cov-... Uh, a couple of pals. Besties. Roommates for life."

Spook huffed a laugh, it was always amusing how awkward Remy got at any form of affection despite his usual sass and confidence. Still, Virgil probably shouldn't mock it.

"Thank you. Let's get this sorted. I'm gonna turn into a cat anytime now. Drop me on floor twelve and I'll try and be caught by -"

Ah. Cat mode activated, apparently, as Virgil suddenly got very close to Remy's boots. The vampire shuffled back, cooing softly before scooping Virgil up.

"We need to get a proper cat after this, babes. I miss Latte's baby phase, she was such a scruffy little kitten! But not as scruffy as you, babes, don't worry."

That was plain rude. Virgil bit his thumb in retaliation, but diligently plopped into a loaf position on Remy's palm. The other thumb rubbed a gentle circle on the back of spooks ears, mm, nice. That deserves a purr.

"Heh, cute little bitch. If this werewolf does end up eating you, I'm totally having your bedroom. You actually have a view, I'm stuck staring at another building's air con units."

Ah, Remy, the eternal drama queen. The two ride the elevator, doors opening to an empty hallway. Remy steps out just enough to peek round the corner, foot in the doorway to keep it open. The coast was clear, so they leant down to whisper to the kitten.

"Right, this is your stop, yeah? You know which door it is?"

It was quite hard to communicate in this tiny body, so Virgil tilted spooks head all the way back to really emphasize the nodding yes. The vampire smiled, reaching into his bag to grab something before rubbing a greasy substance into Virgil's body. Gross.

"All done, babes. You look extra wet and pathetic. See you later."

With that, Virgil was left in the hallway, Remy's disgusting hair gel settling into spooks fur, stinking of chemicals and shea butter. Yuck. Virgil wandered up the hallway, not needing to count the numbers as Patton's door was the only one not swamp green, but still wondering how to get the werewolf's attention.

"With my luck," Virgil thought "Patton isn't even in faer house tonight. In fact, it would be just my luck if Patton has moved out and I'll never get that stupid pelt."

Maybe crying would help? Did spook have the shamelessness to literally cry for attention for a complete stranger? Considering the alternatives were either staying as a cat for half of spooks life or hitting Janus up to beg for a cure, then maybe so.

" Meow. Me-eeeeooowww!" Virgil cried, trying hard to project spooks tiny voice, pacing around the halls. Hopefully Patton's wolf-like hearing extends to faer human form, but Virgil had never actually talked to a were long enough to know very much at all other than etiquette and social rules for different species, which all children learn.

The elevator hummed as it rose to this floor, opening up to let someone out. Virgil flicked an ear, glancing at the doors to see a pair of crisp, white trainers step out. The bright red laces had shiny beads and Disney-themed charms adorning them. When spook actually looked at the person, the pathetic little mewls died out. It was the same fae that Virgil had, rather creepily, stolen the blood of. As weird of a move as that was, Virgil will gladly take the bad karma that arises from that decision at a later date. After the curse has been reversed, please.

"Oh Padre, look! I think it may be the long-lost soot sprite, returned at last!"

Seemed like this fae was adamant on talking like Prince Charming (the Shrek version, and Virgil did intend that insultingly) and spook was quite sure they'd been talking to a father of some sort. The last thing Virgil needed was to be closely examined by an elder fae. This one seemed oblivious to the curse, and their mild fae-features (freckled, where most elder fae had impossibly unblemished skin. Ears pointing a little, instead of ears tall and pointy enough to pierce the lobe thirty times over) meant that they didn't possess the ability to interact with others curses.

An elder, on the other hand, would sniff spooks true form in an instant. Maybe turn spook into something worse, for funsies. Spook didn't feel like interacting with that scenario, so rather literally turned tail to try and hide behind the dying ficus a few doors down.

That plan also didn't last long, as the assumed 'padre' gasped and made a soft, dog-like whimper.

Wolf like, even.

"Oh, kiddo, there you are." a familiar voice crooned.

The mission had, once again changed, and Virgil piloted the tiny body to turn round and stare the Were down. Patton was reaching out, crouching with a few bags round his arms, clearly uncertain if pursuing the 'animal' would be wise or not.

Fuck that.

Virgil meowed a battle cry before charging the wolf, who 'woof-ed' something pleased, ditching the bags to scoop the tiny body up. Yes, wonderful.

"I see you still have that Patton-ted touch with the baby animals, padre." The fae hummed, Patton laughing softly at the dumb pun.

"Oh, Roman, I'm so happy! We gotta get this kiddo checked up, though. Who knows what's happened in the two weeks they've been missing."

Yes, yes, yes. This was all going according to plan. Virgil purred at the Were, lowering his guard so spook may take the winning bite before skedaddling.

Though, the thought did make Virgil a little guilty. Spook was practically using Patton, playing with the Were's kindness of animals to steal his magical fur-

"Could you heat some water, Roman? I'm gonna weigh the kiddo, take their temperature then try and get some food into the poor thing."

Take their temperature.

Even Virgil knew you couldn't stick a thermometer in a cat's mouth and tell it to stay still.

Fuck this. It seems that bad karma has returned once more.

"That was my spot and you know it, you blood-sucking asshole!"

A fossil-looking ass pensioner shouted at Remy, over the sound of their own car's honking. It wasn't Remy's fault the old dude took so long to make a single maneuver. They honestly hadn't noticed the tiny, two seat smart car was moving. The car had kept perfectly still as Remy whipped round into the free spot, and only then did the man decide to take offense.

If Virgil was here, the wet little emo would insist Remy apologize and find another spot. Sucks for this old dude that Remy really wasn't in the mood. The vampire grabbed their satchel before standing proudly in front of the other car to flip a hearty bird.

"Shut up, you old turd! Go park literally anywhere else and get off my dick!"

The pensioner's face turned a lovely shade of red, fumbling with his door while mumbling angry nonsense.

"Why, you disrespectful, oversized mosquito. I ought to-"

"Excuse me." A new voice chimed in, firm and authoritative. Remy turned their head slightly to see the library vampire - Logan? Yeah he was called Logan. Def. - standing a few paces behind the two, looking rather unimpressed.

"The only designated parking at this facility is the disabled spots marked in blue. You can not own a parking space and so arguing about which spot is yours is moot."

The old guy scowled even more so, trembling in anger and revving the engine of his car, clearly trying to insinuate he'd ram into Remy. They merely grinned.

Logan did not find it as amusing, and in a blink was in front of Remy, one hand firmly on the hood of the car with a warning grumble that Remy had only ever heard his sire make, when he was a fresh enough turn to keep her attention.

"Your options are, in order of my personal preference; you leave now and find an alternative way to spend your night, you find another place to park - of which there are plenty - and come into the library when you are sufficiently calm, or you can continue to be irate and I can call security to remove you from the premises."

After a tense few minutes the old guy drove off with an angry huff, and while Remy fully intended to give a sarcastic salute, a cold hand encircled his wrist.

"It is not necessary to provoke the situation I have already sorted."

Ugh, boring.

"Fine, babes. Thanks for all the jazz, I'm actually here to see you in particular so, like, I'm glad you're here."

Logan dropped Remy's wrist, gesturing the two to return to the library. "Oh? And why might that be? Do you have more text you need to translate?"

"Not tonight, gurl, I'm here to talk vampire - to - vampire about things vampire."

"I… see." Logan said after a little hesitance, readjusting his tie. "Is there a particular reason that 'vampire' things can not be discussed with your sire, or your coven?"

"Uh, I'm asking the questions, babes. So, uh, tell me. This venom that the spell asked for, yeah? It's from a vampire, but I'm a vampire, and there's no venom coming from me. Is it like a period thing, do I only venom once a month? What's the deal with that?"

Logan blinked, first trying to digest the lingo, and then another long blink as he processed the question.

"...No. A vampire's venom is not akin to a menstrual cycle. An adult vampire on a consistent diet is capable of creating venom regularly, though may temporarily stop production while siring as their body prioritizes producing a feeding blood higher in density and nutrients to assist their nestling's growth. I imagine your inability to produce to venom is that you are, essentially, a vampire's developmental equivalent to a young child, and like children, you are not able to yet produce your own 'offspring' in the form of siring"

"First off, rude, I'm not a kid. Second of all, how the heckin heck am I gonna get the venom Virge needs if my dumbass body hasn't started making it?"

"Well donating a small dose is rather simple and noninvasive, surely you could ask your sire or other coven members to help assist your human friend?"

Remy groaned rather loudly, smacking a palm onto the reception desk. "You obtuse fuck, can't you read a room? Sire and coven are out of the bloody question, stop asking me about it."

He felt kinda bad about snapping, when Logan's face fell slightly, a similar look as to when the librarian briefly thought the two were mocking him. Ugh.

"Sorry, sorry. Not sure why I'm being such a bitch tonight."

"It is alright." Logan responded simply, the look leaving his features as he readjusted his glasses. Remy mirrored the action, pushing their sunglasses back up their nose. "You acting like 'a bitch' is most likely a reflection of a nestling's instinct to avoid abduction."

"Abduction?"

"Yes. Well, nowadays there are paper trails for each individual turning, and proper legal protection for the sire but it wasn't always like that. A lot of elder vampires are, so to speak, a little nestling orientated? They'd love nothing more than to sweep a newly-turned from their sire, and claim them as their own. The process of claiming, though, it's long, stressful, painful, and poses risks to the nestling in question. To combat this, nestlings are hard wired to face new vampires outside of the coven with a disagreeable personality and non-compliance, trying to project the sentiment of 'I am too much trouble to steal' "

"Oh. Ew, that sucks. Anyway, it doesn't help me or Virge get this vamp juice. Any ideas?"

Just offer, just offer your nerdy little venom so I can grab a coffee and a muffin before I have to go rescue the emo-

"Wait. I'm under the assumption 'Virge' is the person with the shape-shifting curse. Was that the person you were here with the other week?"

"Not sure I like how weird your eyes are going, babes. But, yeah, the lil goth kid I had with me."

Logan leant forward, half tense and half excited. He did love piecing a mystery together. Part of the reason he loved planning out his Sherlock fanfictions, honestly.

"What animal does Virge unwillingly shift to?"

"...a cat."

"Is it this cat, in particular?"

A phone was slid towards Remy, and after carefully picking it up hew examined the imagine. A young looking man, standing tall and proud, quaffed hair and a charming smile. Honestly, the dude was hot. The charm and sparkly aura meant this was probably a fae. This fae in particular was holding a very disheveled kitten, wrapped up in a fluffy blue towel and glaring straight at the camera. It was Virgil, undoubtedly, and Remy damn near doubled over in laughter. As they tried to recover, they slid the phone back over, nodding in a silent answer to the question.

"Oh, spook looks pissed! I love it." Then a brief thought. "Shit. Spook isn't meant to be with that guy. Wait, how did you figure out Virgil was this cat?"

"When you last came into the library, I recognised Virgil's scent as the unknown human scent that was left in my shared apartment, from when my roommate had found an assumedly stray kitten to cater to. It was a mystery, one that admittedly poked my territorial nature, and I felt rather indignant when you two entered the first time. However, with no solid evidence and the fact that the offense did not repeat - I opted to not bring it up during our first interaction."

Wait. Logan's roommate had scooped Virgil up as a kitten, and then Virgil had obviously left the apartment, leaving a trail of spook's anxious musk?

"Oh, fuck. You're roommates with the werewolf, aren't you?"

"If by the werewolf you are referring to my roommate, Patton, then yes. Fae is a close friend and I consider fae coven."

Remy simply blinked at the older vampire, cheeks puffed in a blatant 'well shit' expression.

"Welp. At least Virgil got kit-napped by the right person."

"What do you mean? Why would your friend need to be in the care of Patton? Barring the fact that, logically speaking, that's the best place to stay if a small and vulnerable feline."

Remy glanced behind Logan, seeing a coffee vending machine pushed right into the corner by a conference room. It was a shitty brand with no additional flavors, but this matter clearly required some caffeine. So he decided to grab a cup while relaying Virgil's grand scheme to get some wolf hair for their magical uno reverse spell. It might have been rude to walk away while conversing, but the two vampires could hear each other perfectly fine while still speaking in a low tone, and Remy was able up successfully curb the instinctual need to hiss, bite this other vampire, and book it right out of there.

After pushing through that urge, Logan proved quite a good chat-buddy, Remy simply forgot about the sample. Or the rescue mission.

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the-panmixxia · 9 months

Text

Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 4

Logan shut off the car, unlocking his seat belt and collecting his briefcase from the passenger seat before stepping out of the vehicle and locking it. Ahead, a large figured waved at him, and Logan humored the werewolf with a wave back despite already approaching faem.

Even though the area had an extremely low crime rate, the parking lot being enclosed with cameras and security, and Logan being an incredibly capable vampire that could subdue any attacker, Patton still felt the need to accompany faer coven (though it was pack in Patton's terms) back to the apartment to ensure their safety.

Realistically, in the event the trio was attacked, Patton would be the one to be protected. Yet the fretful wolf should not be told that faer pack would put themselves in danger to protect faem. That sort of information will lead to an extended stay in the nest.

"Logan, kiddo, how was work?" Said werewolf chirps, hands clasped together to restrain the urge to scoop Logan into a hug.

"It was adequate, yes. No stressful encounters to speak of and the bento you packed was incredibly enjoyable and well balanced, so thank you."

Patton let out a quiet, instinctive woof of pride and practically beamed, even more so when Logan stepped into fae space and allowed Patton to wrap an arm around him to walk upstairs together. The journey to their apartment from the parking lot was approximately three to four minutes, so Logan decided to engage a relatively frivolous anecdote since both Patton and Roman seemed to adore any and all idle chatter.

"I did meet two individuals of note today. They had never entered the library before, nor had I meant them at any other occasion."

"Hmm? What made them so special then, Lo?"

"One was an incredibly young vampire, so new they shouldn't have been out of the nest and certainly not away from any sire yet they had no scent on them at all - they were also borderline combative to my presence. The other was likely human, and their scent was the same scent that has been lingering in our living room."

Patton gasped, freezing up to look down to lock eyes with him. Logan stared right back.

"You mean when…?"

"When the abandoned kitten disappeared from your care, yes. It was definitely the individual that was in the apartment that night. They didn't strike me as rather malicious, in fact they were at the library to help out a friend of the two that had been cursed."

The werewolf was silent, jaw tight and staring down the corridor as faer mind raced. It was no secret that Patton had been itching to find the owner of that scent, and faer kind demeanor was likely clashing with the instinctual urge to fight whoever was on the property. The two stopped at the apartment door as Logan worked the key.

"What did they do after you helped them?"

"Well, I assisted translating the Puttuhk scripture and after the nestling used slang that I wasn't familiar with the two left in a hurry into the nestling's car. They're a terrible driver by the way," He punctuated the statement by dropping his keys in the designated, banana shaped, key bowl. "They parked the car over two parking spots, struggled to reverse out of the parking spot despite the lack of other vehicles, and then left at the designated entrance for the parking lot."

"Don't be too hard on them, specs, I'm sure they wheely tried to pull out properly." The third coven member, Roman, popped their head around the corner to grin at the two. The ridiculous pun drew a laugh and a groan from Patton and Logan respectively, the former reaching out to pull the fae into a tight hug.

"Roman! You're awake, kiddo, I'll start a breakfast for you while I'm making Logan's supper."

"It's alright, Pat, I'm going into work for one and need to leave for my train in like, twenty minutes. I'm just grabbing cereal."

Patton blinked, frowning softly before shuffling through the cabinets. "Oh Roman, I wished I'd have known. I'll bring a big lunch to you at about five. If you're only going in for one, when are you going to be back?"

"Eh, about ten pm? And yes I'll message you when I'm getting out of the theater, and when I'm on the train, and when I'm off the train and driving home."

Logan's coven was amazing and, logically speaking, simply the best. The only issue that cropped up often was their constantly clashing schedules.

As a fae, Roman could comfortably sleep once a week but still insisted on eight hours a night for 'beauty sleep' before going to work as a manager at the nearest theater. It was usually a nine-to-five type job though instances such as these were Roman was working unsociable hours on his days off were becoming more frequent.

Patton worked for three days a week at a local nursery, primarily with the infants and young toddlers. Though nothing sounded more torturous to Logan it clearly fulfilled Patton dearly which was all that mattered. When not in work, Patton contributed all sorts of hours to rescuing all sorts of animals - though, in this area, it was primarily cats with the odd raccoon sprinkled in.

Logan himself had a typical inclination towards the twilight hours that one would expect of a vampire, somewhere around the nineteenth century he decided to train his body to entertain some sociable hours and so usually was awake around ten pm to twelve pm, allowing time to interact with the coven in their morning times.

Sure, it was less time together then they'd all prefer - and close to full moons the trio would have to spend a lot of time huddled in the nest to imitate a wolf pile - but modern times called for modern familial units.

"Anyway, who is this fiendish driver Logan was discussing?" Roman asked, shaking a large serving of sugary cereal out its box.

"Logie met a lil baby vamp at the library! And they apparently had some trouble getting their car started." Patton beamed, cheerfully oiling up a frying pan.

"The individual was figuratively an infant, as in a freshly turned yet still in the body of an adult, other than that Patton is correct. I was noting the occasion because the vampire came in with a human that was definitely the individual in the apartment last week."

Roman paused his chewing, staring at the bowl for a ponderous moment before looking up with a scowl. "Did you manage to catch this person's name?"

"Now, now Roman, evoking true names to commit acts of wrath is not allowed. You know this. I would like to speak to this person but we are not getting mean. For all we know that little kitty was theirs and they just wanted to bring them back."

"Still. This scoundrel snook into our abode! I'd run them through just for that. Any respectable person would've simply knocked on the door, and asked dear Patton to 'pretty please return my scruffy little kitten' . And fae would've! Trespassing and sneaking is unnecessary and entirely suspicious!"

Logan sighed and allowed the two to bicker over the ethics of smiting an intruder. Logan himself didn't much care so long as the trespassing wasn't repeated. At that point some maiming may be permissible.

His focus strayed to the window, watching folk wander around like little ants. A bump to his elbow distracted him long enough to watch a vibrating tabby crawl onto his lap. Despite the fact she was already getting fur on his work clothes, Logan obliged the request and shifted his posture to better support the feline.

"Aww, Tabitha is loving you, Logan! I'm so glad she's remembering you both. She was a little spooked coming back."

"Yes she's certainly… Blossomed…" The cat was purring even louder, butting the underside of his chin and forcing Logan to tilt his head back.

"Not found any adopters yet, Padre?"

"Nope." Patton sighed, shamelessly taking a picture of Logan's predicament. "One family seemed promising until they told me they had a dog that hated cats, but apparently it was fine because the dog stayed downstairs so Tabitha could just stay upstairs and they'd never have to meet… Yeah, pets don't really work that way so I had to say no. "

"I apologize Patton, that must be frustrating."

"No worries, Lo! I'd rather spend a bit of time trying to find her purrfect fur-ever home."

"Two puns back to back in a masterfully crafted sentence? You are wonderful Patton, we both have so much to learn!" Roman cheered with his usual dramatics, dunking his dishes in the sink. "However, I must be off now. The theater is no doubt falling apart without me."

Patton perked up, silently sliding faer crocs back on. "Okay, kiddo, I'll walk you to the parking lot. You lock the door behind us, Logan, I'll be back up soon then I can finish your supper!"

Logan gave a smile as the two shuffled out, standing up to lock the door behind them just to humor Patton.

"I hope you have a pleasant shift, Roman. I will see you in a moment, Patton."

With the door locked, Logan made his way back to his seat, prompting Tabitha to almost instantly return to her place on his lap.

"That felt too easy. Surely it shouldn't have been that easy."

It was the day after the library visit, and while Virgil put off work to plan how to collect these ingredients - plotting, not unlike a supervillain, Remy was keen to point out - Remy had gone to work in the pharmacy and miraculously come back with some scales.

"Babes, it was chill. The clinic is always seeing Nagas and Gorgons needing help with their molts, if it isn't warm and humid their shed won't come off right at all. I might lose social points if anyone saw me digging through trash, but I don't think I was caught. I just dug through the bio bin and tried to not throw up, then walla you got your snake skin. Ready to make a lovely wallet or some shit."

Virgil sighed and smiled a little, bumping shoulders with the vampire.

"Thank you, this is going kinda perfect! We've only got two more things to get and then we're good!"

"Uh, no, babes. We're only one thing down. I don't make vampire juice at the moment, apparently. I borrowed a few sample pots from work but when I tried to bite em to get the venom out…"

Remy held up a little pot, the top covered in a stretchy fabric, before using one of his fangs to bite onto the fabric. The idea was to activate the venom gland with the stretchy material acting as skin, so that venom may drop into the pot. In reality, the tooth struggled to get through the top and then an absolutely tiny drop of a gray liquid beaded at the end of the fang. Everyone knew a true vampire would be pitch black and viscous. When the drop finally fell off Remy's fang, it hit the bottom of the tub before turning to vapor, anticlimactic and useless.

Virgil made a face, before looking at Remy with a very light amount of sympathy.

"Is it your age, or…?"

"Who knows," Remy laughed. "All I know about vampires is from twilight, and most of that seems to be absolute bullshit."

"Wait, seriously? That's all you know?"

"I'm not a nerd, Virgil, I'm not gonna do homework on vampires. I got bit now I am one that's all I need to know."

Virgil blinked, staring at spooks roommate and vaguely wondering how they've survived this long. It was a mystery to most.

"So we need to find a different vampire willing to be juiced with little explanation?"

Remy shrugged, trick shooting the sample tub into the trash and missing entirely. "You could always get bitten then, like, suck it back out? Like a jellyfish sting"

"That myth is about bees… And doesn't work. Dumbass."

When spook only got a hiss in return, Virgil sighed deeply and turned away, brushing bangs out of spooks face.

"Right, we'll think of something later. I'm gonna take the laundry down while it's midday and no one will be there."

Spook held out the laundry hamper, patiently waiting for Remy to run into his room and return with all the floor laundry that was accumulating in there.

After a loving exchange of insults, Virgil was out the door and in the elevator, riding it down to floor -1, the oversized laundromat. Despite hoping to have a peaceful descent, the elevator stopped midway to let another person on. This person, naturally, was also carrying laundry. Two hampers, likely a few people in the apartment or maybe they just haven't done laundry for a few months.

They were a good head taller than Virgil, with impeccably quaffed hair and brown, almond shaped eyes that seemed to literally twinkle as if made of dravite (a gemstone that Virgil only knew the name of because it may have been spooks gemsona once upon a time.)

They were much too sparkly and pretty to not be a fae. Okay, Virgil should stop thinking about the pretty part. Spooks cheeks were turning a soft pink, which seemed to amuse the fae as they shuffled inside the elevator.

"Great time for laundry, huh?"

"Um, yeah. Ha. Best, best time for, um. For laundry, yeah." Virgil responded, with the excellent conversational skills of a concussed parrot. Thankfully no one else needed the elevator, and the doors cheerfully swung open to an empty laundry room.

Even better is that the fae was happy to confidently march to one end of the washers while Virgil took the other. The two remained quiet as they emptied loads into their respective machines, the fae taking up three while Virgil just shoved all the clothes into one. They both mainly wore black, anyway, so it didn't much matter. After dropping in a few coins and setting the machine off, spook was happy to pull up a chair and space out for sixty minutes.

The fae seemed to be chatting to themselves quietly, with dramatic hand gestures and all. After the twenty minute mark, and long after Virgil had gotten bored of scrolling through tumblr, one of their machines seemed to have stopped mid-cycle. Some Shakespearen type insults were thrown around before they were pulling the machine out to confidently - albeit, cluelessly - poke at the mechanisms on the back.

Virgil made clear to advert spooks gaze, mostly because the white sweatpants were showing off a well-sculpted behind that Virgil felt pervy for even being near.

"Come, come, you froward and unable worms! You are not to perish with my coins already eaten, my load half cleaned!"

Jeeze. Was this a forest fae, raised in solitude and only recently in the city? Surely not, if they knew how to work it in the first way. It seemed the dramatic fae was just… well, dramatic.

"You dumb machine, remove your casing so I may view your - Sweet mother of Zeus!"

The shout caught Virgil's attention, and when spook looked over, the fae was sat on their butt and clutching their left hand as it trickled a golden blood. It seemed in lieu of a screw driver they'd attempted to pull the back casing off the machine and inevitably slipped, slicing their hand. Being a fae granted them the strength to actually make progress on prying it but didn't absolve them of paying damages for breaking apartment property. One of the many reasons that was incredibly stupid.

Still, the fae looked a little panicked, and Virgil wasn't a jerk, so spook rushed over to try and help out.

"Um, are you okay? Let me, uh, let me just-"

In spooks pocket there was a purple, plaid bandana that was usually just for spook to twist and knot during times of severe anxiety but now Virgil was able to assist, wrapping it tightly round to staunch the bleeding. Spook had done this plenty before, when Remus did something stupid and - no. Now wasn't the time to think about them assholes, Virgil just had to stop the blood.

The blood.

The blood of a fae.

"Thank you very kindly, dark and stormy. Not one of my brighter moments, I'll admit. I think it may have stopped, us fae-folk heal rather quickly." the fae smiled, gently batting Virgil's hands to unravel the gold-stained cloth. A jagged gold line remained, but even that was dimming and slowly sealing up. The bandana was still wet, Virgil had to seize this moment.

The fae looked a little startled as Virgil shot up, clutching the fabric close like spook was trying to contain a moth. Realizing how strange this looked, Virgil stammered for a vaguely acceptable excuse for sudden departure.

"Um I, uh, I left my work uniform upstairs!"

Flawless.

Thankfully the fae didn't respond to such an excuse and Virgil was free to book it out of there, back up the elevator and swiftly to spooks apartment. Spook swung the door open, barely noticing Remy jump so fiercely he fell backwards onto the couch.

"What the shit, Virgil?"

"Where the fuck did it land, where is, ah! There."

Reaching behind the trash can, Virgil pulled out the sample tub Remy had failed to throw into the trash earlier. Luckily, Virgil didn't need sterile spook just needed sealable.

Remy had come over to watch whatever their roommate was doing - giving a quiet nestling trill of curiosity that both parties resolutely ignored - as Virgil opened up the container, placing it on the floor before spook began to wring the fabric into it.

One, two, three oh, and a fourth!

Four golden drops of blood dripped in safely, and Virgil couldn't only laugh in disbelief that spook had managed to get another ingredient.

Oh gods, this might actually be doable.

"Christ. Did you stab a fae, Virge? You know those fucks can ruin your life."

"What? No. No! I didn't stab anyone. There was a fae doing laundry, and they got hurt. I uh, I used this to help and then realize, you know, 'blood of fae' and all that jazz."

"Dayuuum. Look at us. Two in two to go. Now we gotta find a vamp and a were to just magically give us their dna without asking questions."

Swishing this golden blood around, Virgil chewed spooks cheek in thought. "I think we have some plotting to do."

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the-panmixxia · 9 months

Text

Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 3

"Greetings. Welcome to Compendium Library for References and National Research. Might I assist in any way, or point you in the direction of the correct section for your needs?"

The person in front of them was undoubtedly a vampire, more apparent than Remy could ever be. Pale white skin, pristine black hair, and sharp red eyes - all sitting on an angled face, and donning a rather teacher-esque outfit. The name 'Logan' was clipped to their breast pocket.

Remy perked up, dramatically throwing an arm around Virgil and smiling. "Hey babes, we're here to look at curses and such. You got like, 'Warlocks for Dummies' or something?"

Logan blinked, looking vaguely suspicious. "Neither of you are warlocks or witches. You do realize you are incapable of casting spells?"

"Uh-huh, yeah babes, totally. We're just like, trying to be supportive! Our roommate is totally a spell caster and we just wanna look into it, make sure we don't uhh, ruin any spells?"

"While I have the distinct impression you are deceiving me on this front, all information is free to be accessed by all members of the public so I have no true reason to withhold it. So, follow me, I will lead you to a selection of books that I feel will assist you in whatever concealed agenda you have. Right this way. "

The trio made their way through an impressive array of shelves, stacked high with ladders on a track to reach taller levels. There were hardly any other people within the library, mainly stereotypical professor-type people hobbling around to create their next thesis. The back of the building seemed to be a lot colder, shelves no longer having plaques or markings, making the whole area feel out of bounds. But the guide abruptly turned heel, with a perfectly inoffensive four-finger point down an aisle.

"I believe these books will most pertain you your queries. Please note that as a reference library you may not take these books and scriptures home, you are permitted to read on the desks in the center or come to the front where I will gladly photocopy pages for you. The first five pages may be photocopied free of charge, then each page will be five cents for black and white, seven cents for color. You are not permitted to eat or drink, or have any potentially staining products in this area. Any damage to the books that is evidently intentional or grossly severe can face punishment of a permanent ban from the premises. Now, we ask you to stay quiet and respectful of others as they expand their knowledge. Bathrooms are on the third floor, accessible via the elevator or stairs. We are open twenty four hours, seven days a week, so you are welcome to spend as much time as you like."

Remy smirked, throwing a cocky salute to their fellow vampire. "Sir, yes sir!"

Seemingly unaware of the sarcasm, Logan nodded back

"Thank you, nestling. Enjoy your stay."

Logan was swift to leave, making his way back to the desk at a brisk - yet not supernatural - speed, while Remy gawked at the perceived slight.

"Girl! Do not call me that! Virge, Virgey, did you hear that bitch? Ugh, yelp is gonna hear about this one-"

"Remy, shut up and help me look at the books."

The two worked in unison, searching shelves and carefully thumbing through old journals to find any shreds of information that could help them. Most entries were non descriptive, or cautionary tales about not pissing off powerful magic users which was, you know, a bit too late for Virgil.

"Oh! This might be the one, the curse is really similar to mine, but this girl turns into an owl each night… Much cooler to be honest. C'mon, where's the reverse, she has to get better-"

"Babes? That's a novel, not a first hand account."

"Ah, fuck."

"Oohh, babes, for realsies, I think I've found it! Super old, check, written by an actual warlock, check, an itemized anthology of hexes, curses, and spells? Triple check!"

Virgil metaphorically pounced, the two roommates ending up practically cuddled up on the floor as they observed the book. The first few pages had an English translation next to the traditional script, but after the introduction, it was entirely foreign. Crap.

Virgil stared at the text, willing the pages to make any semblance of sense. Spook sighed, slamming it shut while rubbing spooks eyes.

"Well, we need to find someone that can help us with spells, or whatever this is classed as."

Remy was quiet for a moment, biting their lip and shrugging a feigned nonchalance, "I know my sire can read this shit. It's like, old timey language that all the magical ghoulies used to read and write in so they could have their own super secret club." They tapped a symbol while pouting. "I could probably find some way to contact her?"

Virgil frowned in distaste, watching Remy's expressions close. Admittedly, Virgil didn't know the intricacies of vampire society, but what spook did know was that, typically, sires were very protective of their fledglings even after the rearing.

Nestlings were kept in the 'nest', a broad term for the main residence of the sire but there was often an actual nest of blankets involved, for fifty or so years, at least. After that time slot, the nestling, now considered a fledgling, is allowed to wander round at night so long as they're tucked under the sire's arm the whole time. Somewhere around a hundred and twenty years a vampire would be fully formed with all the dlc that came with it.

Remy wasn't a decade turned yet.

Remy's so-called sire was sheepishly handing Remy a set of keys to this very apartment, telling them to find a roommate for company (this is where Virgil came in. Essentially the baby vampire's emotional support puppy.) and she'll sort the rent, and then booking it across the world for who knows what. Virgil hasn't met this woman, but from Remy's accounts, she shows up every few months to bombard him with love, drink from each other to strengthen the sire-fledgling bond, promises to be more present, then inevitably leaves.

It hurt Virgil most that Remy still spoke so fondly of this woman, despite the hurt. Spook gently held their cold hand, half smirking.

"I'd rather stay a cat forever than meet that woman. We'll find someone else, there's probably a lot of people that can still read this language."

"Pfft, you're right. Wouldn't want to call her back from a very important vacation. I'm sure we can find another fossil to read this crap."

"What about Logan? He seems, uh, academic. Surely he's an old enough vampire to see the use in learning this."

"What? No way, I'm not asking for that nerd's help, he insulted me to my face."

"I'm sure it wasn't an insult, Remy-"

"It was, we're not asking!"

"Remy!"

"Nope."

"Remy…"

"Ugh, fine. Let's just clean this up first."

Virgil took one pile, while Remy took the other, working in conjunction to tidy the area up. It was rather relaxing to potter away and organize the endless shelves. Remy was a little less meticulous and was only concerned with getting the books back on the shelf, not breaking their brain trying to remember their exact placement like Virgil.

When the two finally approached the front desk, Virgil holding the opened book like a damned caroler, Logan was working away at an ancient looking computer (who on earth would willingly use a Macintosh Classic? Not even the color model?) The older vampire gave no indication of noticing the two, but before either could speak up, Logan had saved whatever document he was working on and was standing up to address them.

"Salutations. I see you have selected a book to help with your endeavors, would you like to utilize the photocopying machine, or search up a cited reference on the database?"

"Oh, no thank you," Virgil gave a hesitant smile. "We need someone to, um, help us read this?"

"You can't read the book?" Logan asked with slightly raised brows.

"Uh, no, we can't, we were hoping you'd read it to us if you aren't busy?"

The librarian softened his gaze, leaning closer to lower his voice. "I see. In twenty minutes I finish my shift and would be happy to help you two comprehend. For the future, I do assist certain charities to offer these free lessons…"

Remy grabbed the pamphlet, frowning at the 'adult literacy lessons' and sliding it back over.

"No, babes, we can fucking read."

"Remy, he's being nice, stop being a grumpy bitch. Sorry about that, what we mean is we can't read this. It's written like, minecraft enchantments or something."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," Logan interjected, fiddling with his tie and looking unbearably bashful. "Is this a mockery?"

"No! No, I'm sorry, Remy's a little unbearable right now cause he's not slept for thirty hours and it's manifesting in almighty bitchiness. Uh, we were hoping with how knowledgeable you are that you could help us translate it to English, cause the book is like all these weird letters."

"Oh. Certainly, may I see the text in question? Let us sit at this table and I will see what I can do."

Virgil, Remy, and Logan all rounded the study table, moving the educational pamphlets to sit the ancient book in front of the equally ancient vampire (Virgil was assuming Logan was ancient, Remy was normally only this crabby with the old ones, mainly because most stared them out for being an unattended newly turned)

"Ah. This book is entitled Puttuhk, an attempted encyclopedia of known spells to be cast by Warlocks and possible variations and uses for the spells. The reverse of each page enlists the reverse for the spell to negate the effects. It was written by 'Üswa the Untold, a powerful Warlock from 1422. She lived in Danzig, the capital of the Teutonic Order which is close to modern day Gdsank, Poland. The script you're intending to decipher is Mettan, considered a dead language akin to Latin, but used predominantly by magic users." Logan's gaze looked up to Remy, tilting his head inquisitively. "I assume your sire has scripture in this language, you seem somewhat familiar despite being unable to read it."

Virgil squeezed Remy's knee gently, trying to convey a message of "please don't, we need him" the vampire physically swallowed his words.

"That's… probably perfect, thank you. We're looking for a reversal in particular, it's quite strong."

Logan nodded and switched to the index while Virgil rattled off the specifications of the curse Janus had cast. In turn Logan would ask questions, often long winded and seemingly unimportant - was the caster left or right handed? Did the recipient experience unconsciousness after the curse had been cast? What day of the week did it occur? All of these Virgil answered, while also trying to not make it obvious that spook was the one that turned into an animal at night.

"The machinations of this curse are truly complex, likely deliberate, has the recipient visited a clinical witch doctor to help alleviate the curse?"

"Um, apparently when they went the doctor just uh, said there wasn't much they could do without having the perpetrator."

"Ah, and did the two not know each other? Was there no way to contact the perpetrator?"

"No." Virgil simply responded. "They aren't on good terms, it isn't an option."

"I see. Well, I am obligated to inform you that despite being a very well informed individual I do not have formal education on this subject. Despite this, I feel I have the correct reversal highlighted here. Would you like to write down my translation?"

There was a plain notebook on the desk, which the librarian nodded towards as a prompt to begin writing. Truthfully, Virgil was just planning to record Logan speaking on spooks phone but decided it probably seemed rude considering how much effort Logan seemed to be putting into this. Spook hadn't written in a while, but hopefully it will still be legible.

"Right, to begin, this reversal is technically an entirely new spell. This time it is a ward that will deflect the previous hexx from afflicting you by working to protect the physical body from transformations. I'm just confirming that this can only be done on Humans, Elves, Centaur, Manticore, Satyr, Gorgons, Naga, Gnomes, and Ogres. This is because these creatures are not able to naturally shift their form, which if they could, would cause major conflict with this ward." Logan waited for both parties to confirm before continuing. "To begin this ritual, the one with the curse, hence described as the "subject" must be at a point of elevation no less than thirty meters - this would've traditionally been achieved on a cliff top, but any tall building should suffice - and most prepare a blue flame with these harvested ingredients; the venom of a vampire, the pelt of a were, blood of a fae, scale of serpentine, and lastly on offering of their own-"

"How the heck do we get a were pelt? Ask a wolf if we can pretty please skin it?" Remy asked, swishing a can of cold brew that he'd had stored in his bag. To be fair, it had been over an hour, that was a long time for Remy to be without coffee. Logan looked slightly peeved but made no comments towards.

"Well. The pelt is referring most to the fur of the Were, so receiving it can be entirely consensual. Once the blue flame has been successfully fed, it should turn a vivid purple and gravitate towards the subject. The flame will chase the subject at that point until they digest it. The process will burn, and likely leave the subject unwell for a long while after as they heal. Hospitals are equipped to handle these types of recoveries though if the subject is struggling to heal or simply needs somewhere to rest."

Huh. Aside from the strange array of items the process seemed rather straightforward. Virgil was expecting the full shebang with cloaks and ritual daggers. Maybe even a goat or something.

"It seems…easy enough?" Spook hummed after a moment's thought, sitting up a little with slight confidence. "I mean uh, I'll let them know and we can, you know, help this person reverse the hexx. Yeah!"

"Magic has a reputation of being complex and dangerous, partly because of humans fearing the unknown and partly due to Warlocks guarding their practices from outside communities."

"We stan a gatekeeping queen. Work it!" The younger vampire chirped, curling their lip in a smug smile to show off some fang. From what little Virgil knew about vampire culture, the gesture would be considered quite rude and overconfident. Like putting your feet on someone's coffee table when you've just met. Logan didn't seem to care, though, so perhaps not all senior vampires were sticklers for etiquette.

"I have no understanding of your rhetoric, one of my coven mates uses the term 'stan' to show admiration for an individual but I fail to see why you'd use it on a porter. Is it metaphorical?"

"...No."

"Right, we need to go." Virgil sent spooks roommate a sharp elbow jab, smiling at Logan just enough to be polite. "Thank you very much for your help. We'll, uh, pass this information on to the uh, person. Yeah. Thanks, again."

"It is no problem, I am always happy to provide knowledge where needed. I hope your acquaintance is able to purge the hexx ailing them."

"Yep. Yup. Bye, babes. C'mon Virgey," the young vampire wrapped an arm around their roommate, lowering their voice despite almost definitely knowing that the other vampire could hear it. "It's time for an epic, not at all tedious, fetch quest!"

"Oh, brother. This is gonna be a whole thing, huh? At least step one and five is covered between us. That's slightly less overwhelming."

"Yup. Just gotta pluck a Naga, shave a wolf, and stab a fairy. Average Wednesday evening, to be honest."

Virgil sighed and flicked hair out of spooks face, clambering back into Remy's shitty little car.

At least Remy seemed somewhat optimistic.

#Ts big bang #sanders sides #Fanfic

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the-panmixxia · 9 months

Text

Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 2

"What is the matter dear Virgil? I apologized in the car, there's no need to be stomping around now!" An exasperated warlock shouted from the bottom of the stairs, gloved hands laced in a tight ball being the only sign of nervousness.

Remus shuffled towards Janus, each of their coats bundled under their arms with an unhappy pout. Janus sighed and began hanging up the coats, still casting an eye upstairs for any movement.

"I think lil emo Anne is a teensy bit pissed at us."

"No, Remus, I don't think that's the case at all. In fact, I'd hedge my bets and say Virgil is thrilled with us."

Briefly shifting a pig nose just to snort at Janus was rather rude, but by far from the worst thing the ratty gremlin had done.

"Boo-hoo, stop moping around, Double D. We all know I'm piss poor at having anything nice to say, so you need to pull your finger out your ass before it stains your gloves, and go comfort ol' 'Wednesday Adams' up there or else I'll do it."

Janus' face wrinkled into something sour, while Remus simply winked and wandered off to do something, no doubt nefarious.

Great. This was Janus' responsibility, naturally. With a deep sigh he began walking up the stairs, mindful of the obnoxious creeks and trying to not 'sound angry' by treading too heavy on the worn wood.

Honestly the whole situation was rather ridiculous and Janus shouldn't really be apologizing anyway. The day had started normally for the trio of roommates - Remus dead asleep on the couch, buck naked with only Janus' capelet for modesty, and Janus collecting cloves and cinnamon from the various spice jars to create some Chai Masala to start the day - up until Virgil had wandered downstairs. For one, nine twenty-five in the morning was way too early for the emo to be up, especially since Janus had heard the little shit awake at past-two this morning. To add to the oddness, Virgil was fully dressed in clothes that fit and were ironed.

–

"Hey, Jan." Spooks said, all cheerful, even though Virgil was a tiny little ball of angst and gloom at this hour of morning.

Janus assessed his human roommate, humming slightly in confusion.

"You're up rather early, are you off to audition for a black parade and what-not?"

"What? Jan, you do know that the Black Parade isn't like. An actual event? It's metaphorical. I think." Spooks shrugged the confusion off and went back to the uncharacteristic smile. "Anyway, I'm going on a date in like, twenty minutes."

"A date?" Janus echoed in vague horror, trying to recall any mention of Virgil's apparent love interest.

Spook at least had the decency to look a little sheepish, scuffing spooks shoes (the nice pair of Vans, limited edition Tim Burton collab, that Virgil seldom wears through fear of ruining - oh heaven's, it must be a date) across the laminate flooring.

"I, uh, met him online? And he's really nice, and sweet, started talking the other day and he lives like, five states away but he drove all the way here just to see me so I think it could possibly go really well! It's at the cafe near the train station then we're going to the comic book-"

"No, Virgil. You can't go out with a random guy you've never even met, especially on such short notice."

"What do you mean 'no'? You're not my mom you can't decide who I hang out with!"

"Excuse me, Virgil, for looking out for you but might I remind you - this is my house! And I might as well be your mother, for all I do for you."

Virgil looked rather pissed, shoulders raised like a puffy cat. "The hell you mean, you don't do anything other than breathe down my neck all the time! I'm going to see this guy. I've been looking forward to it all night."

Remus had woken at this point, smacking their lips together as they woke up. "Would you look at that, the saccharine emo has risen before the fifteenth hour! How bizarre. Now, what are you hooligans hollering about?"

"Virgil wants to meet some freak off the Internet-"

"Janus thinks he gets to control my social life-"

"Hush hush, Papa Remus can't hear you both. Come sit on daddy's knee and we can discuss this~" Remus, ever the lewd imp, offered their knees for the two to sit.

"Uh, yeah, absolutely not." Virgil huffed, crossing spooks arms like a pouty child. "Janus thinks he has a say in whether or not I get to go on a perfectly normal date."

"And Virgil was planning to run off with an online stranger and do who-knows-what!"

"It's just COFFEE! Jeeze!"

Remus stared at Virgil, their two sets of eyes more calculating than most gave them credit. Janus awaited the verdict, senselessly reorganizing the cloves still left on the counter.

"You're not nervous about meeting up with a stranger, huh, Virgil?"

Spook frowned, as if the thought hadn't even crossed spooks mind.

"No. I trust him, it'll be fine! He's a lovely guy and would never dream of hurting me."

The imp sighed, standing up - and thankfully wrapping a blanket around their waist, likely only to prevent the screeching Virgil would let out if spook had to see their genitals ever again - and mooching over to a random skull trinket left on a shelf. They lifted it up, grabbed something, and tossed it at Virgil.

Spook didn't catch it, which was odd given Spook's usual reflexes, and instead bent to grab it before lifting it up to show off. A condom. Janus rolled his eyes, but Remus wasn't smirking or grinning so he decided to trust his roommate for a moment.

"If he's a great guy then you should go meet him, but make sure he wraps it before he taps it. Or you wrap it, whichever way you fancy, just make sure you don't spread all your nasty emo germs. Angst is contagious you know."

Virgil blinked once, twice, before dropping the condom back on the table and smiling. "Thank you, but I'm sure he'll have one if we need it. I've got to get going, see you both later!"

Virgil was out the door, closing it at a normal volume instead of the usual slam, but before Janus could even begin to remark on how strange spook was behaving Remus had whipped round to glare at him.

"This is your fault, you know."

"What? It must certainly is not, I was trying to get spook to stay home-"

"No, no, it's not that, you dummy." Remus tutted rounding back to the couch. Janus idly noted that the blanket had fallen off their waist. "It's your damn hocus-pocus whimsical shit. That anti-anxiety glitter you sprinkled glittered all the damn anxiety out of Virgil! Spook isn't nervous about a damn thing."

"What? That's a good thing, spook was terribly anxious."

"Uh-huh, Virgil is composed primarily of anxiety. There's more anxiety in spooks body than water - you've removed any and all anxiety. Sure, spook isn't anxious about the looking specter of death or stressing about the possibility of an evil masked killer breaking in, but Virgil also isn't scared of healthy shit. Like running into traffic, drinking bleach… "

"Meeting up with a total stranger that you've known for a few hours and seemingly open to the idea of getting intimate with them… oh heaven's, I've messed this up, huh?"

"Yup!" Remus grinned, giving a sarcastic clap. Janus flicked one of their horns, huffing. "Almost like you shouldn't cast spells on your friends without prior consent. It's a misdemeanor for a reason. Not that I'm a law-abiding citizen, but some laws are vaguely dictated by morality and shit."

Sure. Remus had a point. It wasn't entirely moral to hexx someone, especially to control their mental state but… Virgil's anxiety had been so bad recently, spook retreated entirely into spookself, spending most the day fighting off panic attacks and sleeping for up to eighteen hours a day. Virgil had even stopped coming down to hang out with Janus and Remus, whispering hoarsely through the door that spook couldn't stop the anxiety clawing at spooks throat at the thought of seeing another person.

A quiet, non-invasive yet lingering spell to coax the emo out of this pitt seemed logical, and over the past two weeks Virgil had crawled out of spooks room and slowly gone back to normal. Until now, apparently, cause the fool had gone in the direction and was walking around with the temperament of a successfully lobotomized patient.

And well, to put a long story short, Janus had no choice but to follow Virgil to that cafe, Remus in tow, and intervene on this date. The guy, an admittedly good looking gorgon, seemed slightly peeved at the interruption. Remus' flash of their demonic side scared him off, and while Virgil was upset before, once Janus had revoked the hexx? It was akin to hell fire.

–

"Virgil? You can't ignore me, Virgil. Open up!" Janus definitely didn't whine.

A loud thud from behind the door.

"What was that? I'm coming in right now!"

"Just fuck off, Janus! I'm done, done with you!" Virgil said, sweating as spook leant on the lid of a suitcase, clearly trying to get the over-crammed thing to zip up.

Janus took a few steps closer, a brief tinge of panic at the determination on Virgil's face.

"What are you doing, Virgil? We aren't… We aren't going anywhere you don't need to…"

"I'm leaving, Janus, I can't put up with anymore you're just," spook gestured to the warlocks whole body, half hovering over Virgil's bed, before screaming in frustration. "You're too much, I'm sick of being treated like a kid, just cause I'm not magical doesn't mean you know best."

"Oh Virgil please you can't leave! It's not, I don't think less of you, I just… I worry. You can be fragile, dear."

"That doesn't mean you get to cast on me without me knowing, and the fact I have to tell you that is enough. I'm leaving. I arranged an uber when I was in the car, it'll be here in ten. I'm LEAVING."

Spook hoisted the case up, nearly falling the other way at the weight of it, before correcting spooks stance and streaming past Janus. Or at least, spook tried to, but the warlock caught spooks arm at the last moment.

"You're not leaving over something so silly Virgil, I was in the wrong and I apologized, just put it behind us! Everything is sorted."

Virgil snarled, shoving his arm off with rare strength and storming off once more. "Oh sure, I'll stay, so you can control my every social interaction like some real life sim! How silly am I for being upset, you've already coughed a half-hearted sorry into your handkerchief so it's like it never happened! Not!"

"Oh, Virgil, you can be such a brat sometimes. I was looking out for you!"

"I don't need looking at, or monitor, it's not that, that book with the year and, oh shut up!"

"Don't be angry at me, I fixed it!"

"YOU CAUSED IT! YOU'RE THE PROBLEM JANUS!" it was rather rare for Virgil to have such a temper, even Remus had re-emerged to assess the situation as the two continued to go back and forth.

"Uh, what in the kraken's crack are you two screaming about?"

Virgil's little lip hardened in resolve, puffing spooks chest out before addressing the imp, "I'm leaving, moving out, I quit."

Remus simply raised an eyebrow, "Please, Virgil, you can't look a cashier in the eye and you wanna move out? Not happening, emo."

Virgil was visibly seething, looking down at spooks phone, no doubt the uber arriving.

"I'm not arguing with you two, you're both crazy if you think you have any control over me."

"Oh, so you only like us doing stuff for you when it's convenient," Janus spat, a toxic bitterness building in his chest. "All for my powers when it serves you, dear, you couldn't live without me, without us!"

"Maybe I could, maybe it's your freaky powers that's making me this fucking paranoid just so I'll stay here, you dramatic ass yandere!" Virgil swung the front door open, the brass handle banging the wall behind it to punctuate spooks sentence. "Bye forever. I'm changing my Netflix password."

Remus bit their lip, a brief feeling of panic at one of their two closest friends leaving forever. However, when they glanced at Janus, he didn't look nervous. He was glowing, facial scars beaming in a yellow light that traveled down to his hand, where a massive mass of every resided. Shit.

"I'll show you, you need us just as much as we need you, you're helpless without us!"

With that final decree, the energy launched at Virgil, smacking the emo with such force spooks hair whipped around for a second. Another second passed, Virgil growing paler by the second as spook assessed spookself closely for any defects.

Remus could already tell this was likely the official point of no return and there was no way Virgil was staying. The feeling was solidified as Virgil's expression hardened, grip on the comically large case tightening before giving Janus a look.

"You never will change, huh?"

And with that, Virgil was gone.

"So, what, you turned into a cat ever since?" Remy asked, sipping a coffee. The two were sat in a parking lot, enjoying Starbucks from the drive thru as Virgil shared spooks 'angsty anime backstory' (Remy's words exactly)

"Uh, yeah, I have. I tried to get it removed at the doctors but Janus is actually a very competent warlock, not to mention that the stronger the emotion the stronger the curse, so this hexx is very much stuck to me."

Remy huffed, adjusting his sunglasses with a pondering hum. "How did you cope, after you just ran away?"

"Eh, the uber took me to the train station and I hopped around for about four hours cause I had this fear that Janus and Remus were tailing me… Before I met you I was kinda just living wherever, this isn't the first time someone thought they'd just scored a new pet. If I couldn't leave before I turned human in the morning, it was either awkward or they screamed in horror and threw shit at me. After a few weeks I'd scraped enough to get a motel so I wasn't roaming the street rat-sized every night, and I didn't have to hoard my stuff under a bridge like a twitchy dragon. And then eventually we met and you know the rest… "

The vampire took a punctuated bite of their turkey bacon sandwich before responding. "We should probably try to look up this stupid curse, see if we can reverse anything. I'm not a full-ass vampire so I don't know if I can provide much magical mumbo-jumbo but I can make really cute study cards!"

"So, the library?"

"Yes! To the library, babes, let's get gone." the busted vehicle coughed, moved an inch before breaking so hard Virgil's drink spilled onto spooks lap.

"Whoops. Sorry, babes, I stalled it!"

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the-panmixxia · 9 months

Text

Pound of Prevention (and an ounce of cure) Chapter 1

Before we begin the fic, I would like to preface this by saying - this is my continuation of the 'A Black Cat For (un)Luck' and is also my big bang for this year! I was lucky enough to be paired up with @im-an-anxious-wreck to create some incredible art. I hope you check them out and stay tuned for the master post! (I no longer have a pc, so I'm doing all this on mobile,,, please be kind lmao)

"Oh em gee. What's a lil cutie like you doing in here?"

Virgil froze, fur standing on edge as spook quietly tilted spooks head. In the darkness of the apartment, spooks vampire roommate lurked rather ominously. The vampire that was supposed to be at work right now, shit. Had Virgil forgotten a day off, holiday of some kind? Why the fuck was Remy here!

"An itty bitty kitty~" They purred, and faster than Virgil could blink, spook was lifted by the scruff. "Where the heck did you come from? How'd you even get in? I bet Virgil let you in, knew that little shit was keeping a secret. Honestly thought spook just had a boyfriend or some shit like that. I prefer this though."

Virgil yowled in mild irritation, willing spooks body to move so spook could get out of this embarrassing hold. Remy simply smiled, showing off a row of pearly whites, along with an intimidating set of fangs. Virgil would've been intimated if it wasn't Remy.

"Spicy lil' cayenne coffee, huh? What do you want, babes?"

'let me down!' Virgil internally roared. It came out as a fierce sounding hiss, but Remy simply cooed in spooks face. Humiliating.

"Oohhh I'm keeping you. Don't care what Virgie says. You snooze, you lose. C'mon, there's some chicken in the fridge, it's time to totally manipulate your affection and make me your fave owner. Yeah. Bet cranky lil Virge never gives you chicken, huh? Criminal. Absolutely criminal."

Virgil was plonked down on the cabinets, gentle claws scratching spooks ears before wandering off towards the fridge. Spook meowed imploringly, but was ultimately ignored. Bummer. The kitten looked around, sniffing the outlet and cringing at how filthy it was. Spook should probably clean the kitchen properly in the morning, the landlord would probably blow up and evict them both if they reported another ant infestation.

Spook peered over the edge of the cabinet as Remy was preoccupied googling what cats could eat. The answer was no they can not eat fruit loaf Remy you idiot -

Hmm. The ledge was too tall for Virgil to safely launch spookself off. In human form, spook had a reputation as the perfect blend of cat and cryptid due to the uncanny ability to appear on random surfaces and within impossible crevices - though it seemed in actual cat form, Virgil was lacking.

This called for one thing. It was time to meow frantically until everyone caved to spooks needs.

Meows began, slipping out the kitten's body with ease, practically screaming with urgency. Lemme down! Lemme down, I want down!

It was effective, Remy whipping around and staring at Virgil as if the kitten had burst into song or something as equally baffling. After a second, Remy shook their head and stood up, shushing loudly.

"Shhh, no, shhh! You're gonna wake Virgil up! That little goth is deprived of sleep as it, we can't be waking spook up."

Aw. Well, that was almost cute.

"Plus, spooks such a stress head, I know if spook wakes up I'll just get chewed out for calling in sick today."

So that's why Remy was still here? Virgil hadn't forgotten their shifts. Little shit. Spook yowled in the utmost distaste, and Remy just narrowed his eyes, hands on hips.

"Don't give me that look, you crusty little feline. You gotta take a day off every once in a while, keep your boss on their toes."

Crusty? How could anyone be so cruel to a little kitten? Virgil hissed in offense, swiping tiny claws towards spooks roommate.

Remy seemed to interpret the dangerous display as an urge to be picked up, as Virgil was once again in spooks roommate's arms - thankfully the hold was no longer on Virgil's scruff and instead cradled in Remy's arms, the gentle kiss to spooks head was vastly different to Remy's usual casual affection.

"C'mon, hissy-boy, let's grab you something to eat. I'll just give ya, yup, there it is. Eat this, babes, hear cats go nuts over this stuff."

Four paws landed on a cheap laminate floor, as Remy placed both the cat and a take-away container of dry chicken down. Huh. At least it was human food? Yeah, it was certainly more appealing than the strange oat food that Virgil was fed the last time a person found spook in kitten form.

"Alright, babes! I think we just became besties, huh? Are you my best friend? I'm gonna tell Virgil I've ditched spook for you. I'm sure I'll be forgiven."

Well, at least that much was true. If Remy had brought home another cat Virgil would have been more than happy to house the little thing, but that wasn't the point! There was no way Virgil would tell Remy about this predicament either, they'd never let spook live it down. Virgil bumps spooks head against Remy's leg gently, to signal spook was finished eating.

"Aw. I guess I'll let you mooch around. Gotta get out of these day clothes," Remy tugged on their pajamas "and into something stylish. B-R-B, kitty cat."

This gave Virgil some time on spooks own, mooching around the apartment - spook never normally left spooks room during these nightly spells, but Virgil didn't realize how different everything would look from down here. Even the chipped coffee table looked like some sort of landmark.

The shower kicked in a few moments later, while Virgil was trying to scale the couch, and spook was quietly happy that spook wasn't sleeping - Remy didn't have a great gauge of how much noise they were making, and had woken Virgil up on multiple occasions.

The time alone have Virgil time to ponder spooks predicament for the millionth time. As inconvenient as this curse is, Janus really could've hit spook with something a lot more deadly - Virgil is thankful for that, at least, but really how long can the bitter mage keep this going? There is a time limit, surely. Virgil can't spend spooks entire life turning into a kitten every night like some mockery of Princess Fiona. Maybe, just maybe, Virgil should speak to Janus again. Not to forgive him. To stop this. Yeah, that was it.

It's Janus that should be asking for Virgil's forgiveness, anyway. It's totally immoral to curse your former best friend and roommate. Probably. In fact, the mage was so far up his own ass with all that philosophy crap, he'd probably go on a long monologue on how perfectly moral this whole situation is while also dressing down the idea of morality or… Something. Virgil kind of tuned out of those debates.

Yeah, no, contacting Janus would be spooks last choice. Virgil was not interested in trying to appeal to their ego again, especially not with Remus around, being a little shit and stoking the flame.

Virgil huffed and tried to find a position that was comfortable to curl up on. Being much smaller only seemed to magnify the lumps and bumps in the old piece of furniture, the stuffing underneath the fake leather was compressed into a texture resembling porridge, and still smelt like the sidewalk spook and Remy dragged it from. Vampires had advanced senses of smell, so could Remy smell this shit all the time? Are they used to it? It was so gross. No wonder Virgil burst out in pimples whenever spook crashed on the couch.

A curt knock rapped on the apartment door. Virgil froze on the couch and tilted spooks head. They weren't expecting anyone, unless Remy decided to pull a 'roommate mega dick move' and invite friends over, in the middle of the night, without telling Virgil.

The mystery person knocked again, but the shower kept running and there were no other indications that Remy heard the door. Virgil tediously jumped down, trying to utilize the powers of this strange body spook was inhabiting to listen in on clues of who this may be-

"Hey, Microsoft-nerd, we aren't knocking on doors! Waking up the neighbours is not the way to get help in feline forage!"

The voice was unfamiliar to Virgil, as was the answering voice, much closer to the door.

"I am aware of the standard procedure, Roman. However, on this occasion, I can sense a fellow vampire is inside and thus there is a high chance they'll answer the door. Though that does not seem to be the case right now…"

"Shoot, can't you use your magic vampire brain to communicate?"

"No, Roman, that only works with fellow coven members. And even then it takes an especially large bond to send comments or instructions. It's mostly feelings of visions of something - like sending the sense of danger out to alert the whole coven to a hostility."

"Ugh,whatever - just post the flyer. Patton is awaiting our return. He's cooking Madras! With venison."

"Roman we have several more apartments to visit -"

Virgil jumped back with a slight squeak, as a menacing object floated from the letter box to where spook was just standing. Once it had landed, Virgil could properly inspect it. It seemed to be a lost poster, with the words MISSING KITTEN in a bold, red font. A stock image of a black kitten graced the front, watermark pasted all over, with an arrow labeling it 'KITTEN LOOKS LIKE THIS' as well as a few paragraphs of text all around, explaining that this kitten had somehow got out of the apartment, that they were a rescue and not at an adoptable age, that they'll seek out warm small areas to keep warm and safe, and very kindly asking residents to keep an eye out. There was a whole $800 listed as reward money.

Virgil's first thought was pity, some poor person had lost a cat they'd tried to rescue, and was clearly trying their best to find the lil thing. Hell, Virgil should probably help look for it tomorrow, eight hundred could really help spook and Remy out this month.

Virgil's second thought, after briefly skimming contact information, was 'oh shit'. 'Please Contact Patton,' was at the bottom, with a telephone number, and beneath that was the apartment number. The apartment that Virgil had crawled out of when snatched by a werewolf.

Patton, that was the werewolf's name. Spook remembers the uncomfortable elevator ride where Patton introduced faemself, there's absolutely no mistaking it, Patton wasn't exactly a super common name. The two at the door were talking about a Patton as well, weren't they? One was a vampire, which didn't make sense, but was the other part of Patton's pack?

This was a lot of trouble to go through for one scrappy kitten, if Remy's theory was true.

Would Patton eat a kitten?

It's not like Virgil knows the were properly, but spook did spend a night with Patton, a night where Patton thought fae was interacting with a real kitten and therefore had no reason to be fake nice to spook. Shit, had Virgil just judged this were on event that even spook didn't think happened?

"Ooh, what'cha got, gurl? You gonna bring me my mail like a lil puppy?" A voice coos, Virgil snapping out of spooks character development to look up at an amused Remy who was perched on the arm of the stinky ass couch.

The vamp was dressed down in lounge wear, though it was glaringly obviously the 'Falling In Reverse' band shirt was Virgil's and not Remy's. Virgil stared distastefully at spooks roommate, grumpy sounds leaving the kittens tiny body. Remy glowered right back, pointing at the creature.

"Oh, you must be Virgil's pet. No one else can embody that much grumpy emo vibes. Spook has a billion tees, I'm just wearing it this once."

That was such a Remy response. Unable to roll spooks eyes at the vampire, Virgil opted to turn back around and paw the flyer once more. Over here, idiot, come read this.

Remy, for once, didn't use his vampire powers to teleport across the room, and instead took a rather leisurely stroll across the room, crouching down to read.

"Hmmm, missing cat… Is that you? Did Virgie steal someone's pet, huh?" They lifted the page closer, inspecting it with pursed lips. Remy's eyes were a very pleasing shade of red behind those shades, it was quite nice to see. Virgil moved closer, seating spookself on Remy's socked foot, and as planned, receiving a pleasant head scratch.

"Wait. Hold the fucking phone, I know that apartment, that's fucking Wolfie's apartment. Holy crap, what a psycho, he's actually putting out lost posters? Did you manage to escape his dinner plate or something?"

Remy scooped the kitten up, holding Virgil close with a protective grumble. Like a feral wolf was going to burst through the door and gobble spook up. Virgil made sure to warble out a disgruntled noise at the vampire.

"Hold your horses, puss-puss, it says here you went missing last Wednesday and that's when Virgil crawled through my window like a creep," Remy held the little body up to eye level, staring so intensely, and for a second was sure Remy was a gorgon with how still spook got. Did they figure it out? How?

"That must've been what spook was doing, rescuing you! Honestly, I didn't think Virge had enough courage to break into a were's house to steal something. Spook can't even say spooks order at the drive thru, so I'm thoroughly impressed."

Well that was both rude and awfully convenient, as much as Virgil trusted spooks roommate on matters of life and death… Honestly, Remy likely wouldn't let Virgil live it down if they found out that spook turned into a tiny kitten each night. Virgil would rather not deal with the embarrassment.

"Come on, you. I wanna watch Grey's Anatomy and I'm not letting you wander round the apartment. You'd probably piss on something."

That was rude. Virgil had excellent control of spooks bladder, thank you very much. Still, this was at least a way to watch the soap without pretending it was cringey, spook supposed. Remy draped across the god awful sofa, falling into a position Virgil had seen spooks roommate in many times, and settled the tiny body of Virgil on his chest. Since Remy didn't have body heat, it was rather like laying on a tiled floor - or having the pillow be permanently cold. Virgil decided spook liked it that way, and a gentle purr started up.

Remy's expression, still trained on the television as they searched for the show, turned down right gooey.

"You cute little thing. You're gonna love watching this, look, Meredith has just gone seeing her dad and Thatcher is there. Not British Thatcher, this one's a dude. Was in Prison Break as well, we can watch that one later."

Maybe this is why Latte ran away. Contrary to what Remy believes, most cats aren't down to sit still and watch endless sitcoms.

As the hours ticked on, Virgil tried many times to sneak away. It seemed Remy was adamant to stay on the couch all night and to keep spook right next to them. Rigorous squirming landed Virgil to be sat in a shoebox full of newspaper - something spook hadn't noticed Remy making before all this - then listening to the vampire repeat a 'potty' command repeatedly. Embarrassingly, Virgil had used it, but only once. Spooks dumbass roommate hadn't given Virgil a single drop of water.

Still pressed against Remy's cold chest, Virgil could barely make out the busted kitchen clock as it struggled its way towards half nine. Shit. Shit, Virgil was screwed.

Hissing and yowling had not worked all night, though Virgil was currently weighing the pros and cons to scratching Remy's eyes out. The vampire in question sighed at spooks dramatics, scooping the kitten up and plonking it back into the DIY litter tray. This time, Remy stood up, stretching long limbs and teasing their curls into an effortless, glamorous bedhead. Red eyes stared into green for a moment before Remy let out a loud yawn.

"You stay there, puss. I need a leak, then I'm gonna cook Virge some breakfast. Try and sweeten spook up before I ask for a feeding, heh."

Aw, that was almost sweet. In a way. Virgil was gonna enjoy that breakfast, if spook could just escape this darn box while Remy was out of the room. Huzzah! Freedom.

The box tilted over, freeing the black kitten, as spook made a mad dash for spooks bedroom, luckily it always had a jar open.

At that moment, the magic began to tingle, signaling to Virgil that time was up, but spook was nearly to the bedroom. Unfortunately, a loud 'hey!' distracted spook, turning to look at the vampire that seemed rather peeved about the cat escaping. A stagger on an uneven rug had Virgil tripping up, unfortunately the transformation completed itself at that moment, meaning Virgil's human body grew itself big enough to smack full force into the door, leaving the emo flat on the floor with a light groan.

The door was pushed with quite some force, hitting the doorstop and coming back to bap Virgil a second time. Brilliant.

Virgil sighed into the cheap olefin carpet, hearing hesitant feet shuffle around to get a better look. Spook bent spooks neck awkwardly, looking at Remy with squinting eyes. The vampire looked completely befuddled, before lips began to curve upwards into a big smile. A big, overly smug smile.

"Oh, babes. You've got some tea to spill!"

#logan sanders #sanders sides #sleep sanders #fanfic #tss fanfiction #chapter 1 #cat virgil #virgil sanders #ts virgil #big bang #writing

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