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the-blackest-spider · 2 months
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This is me right now.
I'm in a state of limbo, sort of. I'm trying to figure out how to live life without having someone who needs 24/7 care as a part of it and not really having anything I need to have an escape from reality wise. It's an odd sort of struggle... I want to write, I still very much have muse and such, I think about the ooc and ic relationships I've cultivated here, more importantly those behind the characters who have been there when I've needed it the most even if they had no idea at the time.
I feel like I'm learning how to live each day all over again, and this is coming from someone who had one hell of a personal brush with death. I'm trying to finally take care of myself and learning how to do that...
Does that mean I'm never coming back here?
Truthfully I don't know...
I wish I did either way, but right now I'm figuring things out, and I don't know how long that is going to take. I wish I did, but it's one of those things that just you can't predict.
Also I have this really strong desire to have most everything fresh and new, as well as smaller and more simplified. I have no plans to remake Nat's blog, if I return to tumblr, it will be here, but I'm wanting something I can take wherever to do that with, so I need to figure that out, and get things (finances) back in order so I can (most importantly I need a new damn mattress, which kind of effects my being here too in a way).
I guess I'm realizing I need time... how much? I don't know and I really can't predict it or even ballpark it. In light of that, I completely 100% don't blame anyone for moving on, don't feel like you have to wait for me, if you do great, but I understand if you can't. I need to brush off Discord and whatnot, tho lately these days I seem to gravitate towards Facebook, which if we've talked a lot, you're more than welcome to ask for even if it's just to use their messenger deal. I'm also always ok Skype, though lately it's been questionable with reliability, but yeah...
I'm just stuck in figuring shit out limbo and wading through A LOT.
I hope everyone is doing good, and I'll make updates when I can, when I know fully what I'm doing besides the necessary basics of adult life aka sleeping, work and all that, with some exercise tossed in, since I am trying to take better care of the whole package here mental and physical, and I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves too as best you can.
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the-blackest-spider · 2 months
Text
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This is me right now.
I'm in a state of limbo, sort of. I'm trying to figure out how to live life without having someone who needs 24/7 care as a part of it and not really having anything I need to have an escape from reality wise. It's an odd sort of struggle... I want to write, I still very much have muse and such, I think about the ooc and ic relationships I've cultivated here, more importantly those behind the characters who have been there when I've needed it the most even if they had no idea at the time.
I feel like I'm learning how to live each day all over again, and this is coming from someone who had one hell of a personal brush with death. I'm trying to finally take care of myself and learning how to do that...
Does that mean I'm never coming back here?
Truthfully I don't know...
I wish I did either way, but right now I'm figuring things out, and I don't know how long that is going to take. I wish I did, but it's one of those things that just you can't predict.
Also I have this really strong desire to have most everything fresh and new, as well as smaller and more simplified. I have no plans to remake Nat's blog, if I return to tumblr, it will be here, but I'm wanting something I can take wherever to do that with, so I need to figure that out, and get things (finances) back in order so I can (most importantly I need a new damn mattress, which kind of effects my being here too in a way).
I guess I'm realizing I need time... how much? I don't know and I really can't predict it or even ballpark it. In light of that, I completely 100% don't blame anyone for moving on, don't feel like you have to wait for me, if you do great, but I understand if you can't. I need to brush off Discord and whatnot, tho lately these days I seem to gravitate towards Facebook, which if we've talked a lot, you're more than welcome to ask for even if it's just to use their messenger deal. I'm also always ok Skype, though lately it's been questionable with reliability, but yeah...
I'm just stuck in figuring shit out limbo and wading through A LOT.
I hope everyone is doing good, and I'll make updates when I can, when I know fully what I'm doing besides the necessary basics of adult life aka sleeping, work and all that, with some exercise tossed in, since I am trying to take better care of the whole package here mental and physical, and I hope y'all are taking care of yourselves too as best you can.
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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nobody is coming to save you. get up
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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*takes gulp of vodka straight from the bottle* my day was fine
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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�� Lurlene McDaniel, from “Breathless.”
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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her two favorite things r guns and vodka
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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youve heard of missionary position. now get ready for MERCENARY position
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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I wouldn’t call it excessive violence. It’s just enough to make my point. 
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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Otp texts #2
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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sorry for making u horny, it was on purpose
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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THE AVENGERS (2012) dir. Joss Whedon
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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“Truth is, I want you to be safe, want you to sleep so I can sleep.”
— Sam Cheuk, Postscripts from a City Burning; “11/06/19 (2)”
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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― Anne Sexton, Anne Sexton: A Self-Portrait in Letters
[text ID: I am a collection of dismantled almosts.]
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the-blackest-spider · 4 months
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“Please be patient with me. Sometimes when I’m quiet it’s because I need to figure myself out. It’s not because I don’t want to talk. Sometimes there are no words for my thoughts.”
— Kamla Bolanos
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