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holy fuck did y’all see this shit

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I love these!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These are sooo much better than the new covers that were announced.

I was just looking at twilight fan book covers and I found these

I wish these were the actual book covers

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Its a family name.

This is a fun little story I created when my friend reminded me that Carlisle Cullen is richer than Tony Stark. Anything that doesn't make sense for either fandom plotline just ignore it this is for fun.

I just imagine Tony one day coming across a BuzzFeed Top 10 richest men article and feeling so smug until he sees he's like just behind some random ass doctor from Washington and he spends weeks complaining to the rest of the team about it like,

Come on guys, something is clearly up with that family they have 7 kids and one working parent?? No doctor is that good, no offence Strange, but seriously Washington isn't even that long a flight

and they're just so fucking over it like,

Tony leave them alone their a normal civilian family living their lives let them be.

Then the Cullens are there at the same time fighting the newborn army setting that shit on fire.

Tony then googles their family tree cause we know that man wouldn't drop it, and he sees a trail of money going from account to account every 60 years or so for like centuries under the name Carlise Cullen. Eventually, he flies to Washington and confronts them and the Cullens obviously know he's coming i mean they've got Alice and Edward on that immediately and Tony is like

So, Adams family, what's the deal.

Carlise is just like, yeah man it's a family name Idk what to tell you. he points to jasper or someone and is like, this is my kid Carlise. And hands him some fake birth certificate cause he's a doctor he could and tony can't find anything wrong with it so he just gives up and leaves.

Years later, the Avengers are about to fight Thanos or whoever and Nick Fury comes in saying he called in a favour with some old friends and before they come in he tells the team about the existence of vampires and werewolves and everyone is shocked af and tony has long forgotten the Cullens until they walk in and Carlise is like,

Yeah, sure we can help but we're gonna need someone to look after my granddaughter.

They bring out their freaky little toddler looking baby and Clint is like, oh cute I have kids too, what's her name? and Carlise looks Tony right in the eye and says

Carlise, Carlise Cullen. It's a family name.

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twilight uses the term “monkey” as a pet name two times, which is approximately two times too many

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if u need me

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you ever think about the fact that edward showed up at bella’s door wearing a sleeveless white button down and she still went to the meadow with him. fuck the fact that he’s a vampire? you trust him after he chose to wear that? wack.

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bella x edythe

#i wish #bella is totally bi

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please unmute this immediately

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If Ed HAD stayed away in NM and Bella HAD entered a long-term relationship with Jacob, how would that go? Would they last? If they did last, how would Bella be as normal wife and mother, no supernatural beauty or powers? If they broke up, how would that go down? Would Bella actually be happy, or just accept that she would never be "special" like Ed? Would they need and/or go to couples' therapy?

SM would say they'd last. They were supposed to be soulmates in a normal world, were monsters and magic didn't exist.

Realistically, though, two teenagers ending up together doesn't always work out that well.

I like to imagine they dated briefly as teens but eventually grew up/grew apart and broke up. Bella went off to college, found a little bit of self esteem, and put Edward into the perspective of a magical coming of age experience, a precious memory, this amazing little secret she'd always carry with her but ultimately was glad she didn't make the mistake of becoming immortal at 18 or 19. Think like Tuck Everlasting vibes. Bella decides to embrace the 'normal' life that Edward's leaving gave her. She comes to understand why he did what he did. She forgives. She lets go.

Years later she comes back to Forks and opens a bookstore. She reconnects with Jacob, and now that they are both done growing, are both established adults (he runs a successful mechanic's shop), they start dating again and this time it's for real. Bella's put Edward in the past; they've both grown up. Jake proposes. Bella accepts.

He stops phasing (vampires aren't around anymore--the Cullens are avoiding the area because of Bella/Charlie but word had already spread of a large coven there so nomads avoid the area too) and starts aging again. They have a few kids. Maybe twin girls and a boy. Bella sees her children as children, there's no pedestal like with Renesmee, they aren't living manifestations of the greatest love of all time, or perfect incarnations of her perfect husband, it's just joy and silliness and worry and stress. Charlie helps out. Billy and Rachel help out. Renee comes to visit and being a grandmother makes her rethink her parenting and she and Bella have some long overdue discussions.

I think there might always be a part of Bella that would wonder "what if?" and daydream about Edward occasionally, but I'd like to think an emotionally healthy Bella could learn to sort of thank him for that magical summer and thank him ALSO for leaving and letting her have a life. There's no fairytale cottage, there's no tropical island honeymoon, no closet of designer clothes but we were told Bella didn't care about those things so let's say she really doesn't. I think she and Jake could be happy.

Therapy couldn't hurt, though. Jake lost his mom as a young kid and was basically abandoned by his older sisters to take care of their ill father; Bella took care of Renee's household; there are definitely issues to address completely aside from the supernatural stuff that therapy could be helpful with.

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You’re telling me after watching all that Food Network the Cullens never once thought about making blood Jell-O shots? Blood pudding? Fermented blood wine?

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i feel like bella’s adrenaline rush phase in new moon has a more scientific explanation than what smeyer gives us. it’s less about the whole “i’m losing my mind and wanna hear edward” and more about being biologically human. like soldiers that come home from war, after being exposed to experiences where your adrenaline is constantly at a high, going back to a regular life makes you really depressed. your body is used to the high of danger. bella and edward’s entirely relationship was built on danger. bella wasn’t crazy, thanks smeyer for taking another dig at a female character

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Screencap of Bella when Edward was driving her back to Forks after the mushroom ravioli dinner

#twilight #twilight saga #bella cullen #bella swan #edward cullen #midnight sun #new moon #eclipse #twihard

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i doubt the twilight script writers realised what they had done when they wrote the line “no, our bus is full” but to this day it is one of the funniest things ever said in film. that dramatic little bitch. if i had written that line, i would have taken the rest of the day off after penning that, and it would have been well deserved.

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there’s just something so soft & beautiful about Jacob and Bella’s relationship. they hang out in Jacob’s garage and make dumb jokes and drink warm soda and eat crappy pizza and they just have fun. when Jake and Bella are together they can be young, and dumb, and not have a care in the world. they sneak around behind their dad’s back, break a few rules, and spend every minute of every day together, laughing. they see each other and think “this is home”

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happy anniversay, edward and bella. hope you horny bitches are having a great day