that-macrophylla

[that-macrophylla]

You go to your friend’s house and Jeff Bezos is there. You’re like “are you insane? That’s Jeff Bezos, he’s evil, we need to throw him out” and your friend tries to convince you that no poor Jeff Bezos has amnesia and is in a lot of trouble so you have to help him. This is insane to you but you’re in love with your friend so you’re like okay…and then Jeff Bezos regains his memories and runs off to live out his queer love story. You’re like “well that was INSANE wasn’t it? Let’s go do boozy brunch to get over it and also I might be in love with you”…..but your friend/love of your life is like “this is awkward but I’m actually the new CEO of Amazon”…….that would be terrible wouldn’t it? Well something really similar happened to my good friend crowley

[that-macrophylla]

Imagine how hurtful it must have been for Crowley to see Gabriel, the person who literally took an active part in the process of traumatising the man he loves into the mindset that he cannot be happy and free, get a happy ending. To see the man, who was one of the reasons Aziraphale haven't even acknowledged their relationship for such a long time, because they were on "opposite sides". The man who was one of the reasons they couldn't be together, even as friends, for 6000 years. The man who wanted to execute Aziraphale with a smile on his face and "shut your stupid mouth and die already" as his "goodbye". Seeing this man getting what Crowley has always dreamt of: being able to run away with the person he loves, leave Heaven and Hell behind and just be together with his beloved - in Soho or on Alpha Centauri, literally wherever, because "Heaven is wherever Beelzebub is". Crowley seeing Gabriel get it so... so effortlessly, while he has worked for it so long, nearly died because of it and still haven't been able to get that, to get the happy ending and sever all the connections with Heaven and Hell. It must have hurt like hell (most literally).

[that-macrophylla]

Metatrichia floriformis and a Physarum sp. fruiting alongside each other

by Barry Webb

[that-macrophylla]

[that-macrophylla]

my favorite hobby is going on pinterest to find references to put these two lovebirds in

[that-macrophylla]

Crowley: I waited 6000 years and you guys managed to fall in love in what? 5 months??

Gabriel: 4

Crowley: HOW

Gabriel: well we were just up front and honest with eachother and-

Crowley: absolutely not, next suggestion?

[that-macrophylla]

‘He’s too pure of heart to be anyone’s bit on the side’

Is that why you’ve never made a pass, Crowley? Is that why you’re living in the car? Never tried to kiss him? Never initiated touch (it’s usually Aziraphale touching Crowley)? Never tried to ask for more? Never tried for the fabulous kiss?

Have you never turned around and seen the way he gazes at you, Crowley? Never seen the look of pure adoration or for that matter the looks of pure lust? Did you always think Aziraphale was too pure of heart for the love you wanted to offer him?

And then Nina says something and Aziraphale drags you into the dance and you think well perhaps, no less pure of heart but perhaps Aziraphale could want you, could want what you want.

But by the time you tried, Heaven had already stolen him.

#sobbing crying screaming on the floor

[that-macrophylla]

Hypothesis: Aziraphale HATES that Crowley is living in his car.

Supporting evidence:

The very first thing we see him do in the present is stop Maggie from moving out and making sure she feels welcome to stay as long as she likes.

He clearly knows Crowley’s unhappy before anything happens in the plot: “Does it calm you down?”. And also clearly feels helpless about it. Enter the conspicuous Eccles cakes: Aziraphale’s offer, which is rejected.

Crowley’s obviously, for all his hedging, spending a lot of time at the bookshop— so much that he has his own glasses perch and feels immediately comfortable removing them. See also: “Technically my bookshop but we both get plenty of use out of it”, “Why don’t you wait inside? You like waiting inside”.

It’s Crowley who immediately shoves the box of plants into Aziraphale’s arms after Aziraphale returns from Scotland.

Speaking of Scotland, why wouldn’t Aziraphale take the train? Why insist on driving the Bentley? Is it perhaps because he wants to get Crowley and his plants into the shop, and thinks if he creates a situation where Crowley has to stay there, maybe he won’t immediately leave again?

He’s got an empty bedroom and an apparently pathological need to make the person staying there very comfortable, creating cute little customized souvenirs like he’s an Air B&B host (displacement!).

He immediately jumps to having Gabriel stay with him— he didn’t have to. Arguably, both Gabriel and Aziraphale would be safer if Gabe stayed elsewhere.

That’s what I’ve got for now but I’m sure there’s more. Throughout the show, watch what Aziraphale gives to others and does for others, and it’ll tell you what he wants to do for Crowley. He’s living so deeply in displacement in makes him come across as manic and brittle.

(What probably happened is Aziraphale offered the spare bedroom and Crowley, who unconsciously didn’t want to be his roommate or sleep in a single bed with Aziraphale right downstairs because how could the poor lovesick boy cope with that, told him he wasn’t a “good deed” for Aziraphale to do and stormed off.)

Conclusion: Aziraphale asked Crowley to stay at his place, immediately and probably repeatedly. They had a row about it, and Crowley refused, and to this day Aziraphale doesn’t understand why.

And it hurts him.

[that-macrophylla]

you're absolutely right i hope u know t hat

Crack AU where Crowley goes to heaven and acts as Aziraphale's assistant. This is a horrible idea and would be absolutely awful but if we ignore all the realistic implications of it, it has endless comedy potential! Have some dumb doodles

[that-macrophylla]

#1 ineffable husbands shipper right there

Bentley loves them

[that-macrophylla]

WAIT NO YOU'RE SO RIGHT

GO S1 : Anthony "Act Of Service" Crowley

GO S2 : Aziraphale "Physical Touch" Fell

(Really Crowley was practically Aziraphale's fidget toy in this season. That angel is HANDSY)

[that-macrophylla]

In season three, I’m gonna need their first meeting’s ‘gorgeous’ line to happen again, except this time it’s *actually* aimed at Aziraphale.

[that-macrophylla]

we're already here, might as well find rock bottom! i do actually want to see how far the miscommunication and pettiness can go, and it's probably the only way they will ever truly learn how much the other loves them (assuming, it's yknow... resolved)

before they fix it i want them to make it worse. i want crowley to go back to being an agent for hell, not offically, no, but because he's feeling bitter and petty enough to try to sabotage anything heaven attempts. i want aziraphale to try to confront and stop him and i want them to say genuinely awful things to each other. i want them to hurt each other even more. i want to it get all the way down to heaven and hell coming together to have one of them (crowley) being at the verge of being struck down from the book of life before the other (azirphale) finally relents and comes to the other's defence. i want there to be PAIN.

[that-macrophylla]

This was my Barbenheimer

[that-macrophylla]

Okay but like can we talk about how Gabriel acted this season is Gabriel's default. It's how he would act without Heavan's fear mongering and threats. It's how he acts without his thousands of years of reinforced stoicism and cynicism. Without the memories of all that he's just as sweet and curious as Aziraphale was when he first started truly loving and understanding humanity. He dusts the bookshop, he waves happily and introduces himself to everyone he sets eyes on, and he loves hot chocolate.

And don't even get me started on how he's still so changed from last seasons Gabriel when he gets his memories back. Mr. "Shut your stupid mouth and die" would NEVER put his hands over his heart and positively melt at the sight of Beelzebub. He wouldn't say no to a heavenly plan. He wouldn't be so nonchalant in the face of falling. He wouldn't memorize a Buddy Holly song or drink human beer. He, over the course of three years with Beelzebub (as platonic work friends to lovers), unlearned all of that brainwashing that Gabriel has had drilled into his head for 6000 years. He realized "wherever Beelzebub is is my heaven".

Someone help me I'm having emotions

[that-macrophylla]

yes absolutely

Do you guys think that Muriel and the Bentley will trauma bond over being children of divorce in season 3?

[that-macrophylla]

Okay, so I’m on my second watch of s2 and I think people are really being too harsh on Aziraphale. Here’s the receipts:

1 - He said to Metatron that he didn’t want to go back to heaven, he only accepted the job after Metatron said he could take Crowley with him

2 - When Crowley says “If Gabriel and Belzebu can go off together, then we can […].We need to get away from them, just be an us. You and me.”, Aziraphale answers “Come with me to heaven. […] We can make a difference.[…] We can be together, angels, doing good.” He is not rejecting Crowley nor the idea of them being together, he is rejecting the idea of doing nothing to make things better. He’s saying “let’s be an us in heaven, where we can be together and look after this planet that we both love instead of abandoning it”

(Of course that he is seeing heaven through rose-tinted glasses, but this is a whole different rant)

3 - The dialogue in the book shop is very similar to S1 when Crowley say they can go off together and let the Armageddon happen: While Crowley wants to run away and save them both, Aziraphale wants to try saving Earth, the only difference is that now Aziraphale recognizes that he needs Crowley and wants to be with Crowley.

4 - Just before EVERY, Crowley says “You idiot, we could have been us”, Aziraphale turns away from him to cry. In this scene I believe they are both thinking the same thing “He might even want to be with me but only on his terms.” 

5 - The “I FORGIVE YOU” scene, he meant “I forgive you for not wanting to come with me and trying to change my mind, instead breaking my heart even more”

Aziraphale LOVES Earth and will try to do everything to save it and he knows Crowley loves Earth too, they are not Gabriel and Belzebu who never cared for Earth nor humans. He knows Crowley didn’t want to work for Hell anymore and that he is good and he can finally do good without being punished.

Crowley (and the viewers) has a much clearer and realistic vision of how things work, because heaven has already betrayed him. He doesn’t want to go back there because he already knows all of its flaws. 

Crowley is a realist (and a bit of a pessimist), he believes Earth will end because heaven and hell cannot be trusted, so the best solution is to run away while they can.

 Aziraphale is an idealistic, he is going to heaven, he is going to fix the system, Earth will be happy and safe forever, Crowley will realize that and go to heaven after him and they will live happily ever after. 

SO WHEN Metatron said about the second coming Aziraphale REALIZED Crowley was right about heaven, but he still had to try to save Earth instead of taking the easy way out.

SO STOP TALKING SHIT ABOUT THE ANGEL, HE LOVES CROWLEY AND LOVES EARTH AND IS JUST TRYING TO SAVE EVERYONE