thasdorah

[thasdorah]

i need to be in one of my blogs and i can't be in the league ones rn but my dash here is so dead askjdfnakj

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #feeling depressed might delete all my blogs on impulse and regret it later

[thasdorah]

yall know exactly who's child this is

#BABY GORL??? #icb you just dropped this hours after I logged in just to say i was thinking abt alleria and willa.... #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #» dynamics — ⌜willa/willawood: i look at my lover and i see wilderness.⌟

[thasdorah]

fondly remembering my threads with aera with all the gay pining and yearning and angst about not being able to be together

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #it's just hitting close ok i'm going through the gay yearning for something that can't be #and actually it SUCKS i want it to end #made me think of Them nevertheless.... that was so good

[thasdorah]

alleria should watch the barbie movie actually

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #she deserves it #i'm not really here guys this is the best i can do atm #league brainrot continues to consume me #and i was considering............ xiv again but then i remembered bg3 comes out this week so like #i don't have time for all this kdnfkjsndf

[thasdorah]

y'all waking me from my slumber......

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #tbd.

[thasdorah]

the latest ptr stuff killed whatever vibe i had left for wow tbh and there's no one around for the most part and i already wasn't around much but this is an indefinite hiatus notice for all my wow blogs

#you can catch me on the league ones for now @noxianwill/bladesdanced/serpentembraced #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟

[thasdorah]

the amount of p*rn blogs following me here and liking stuff on all my sideblogs.... i'm so tired @tumblr

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟

[thasdorah]

unpopular opinion but i liked it better when classes were tied to lore stuff c':

#this is brought to you by everyone can be warlock now #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #now i vanish into league of legends rp again

[thasdorah]

I still have katarina brainrot so I'm sticking to @noxianwill for the time being

#also not feeling great overall #and she's the muse sparking most joy #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #she has a wow verse tho!

[thasdorah]

never question my loyalty. you will never know what I endure for it.

#sp. #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #the katarina muse is high... #and we can figure wow verse interactions!

[thasdorah]

i ship m/f ships but in an incredibly bisexual way

#i open this blog. i rb this post. i leave again #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #but yes this ✨

[thasdorah]

Did Alleria develop any coping mechanisms to deal with the thousand years war she fought away from home? Did she ever hit a breaking point during this time? How did she stay sane through it all? Does she have any lingering habits that stayed with her now that the war is over?

meta asks ♡

— @shxwmaster

the first and most important thing that kept her going was her motivation to fight in the first place. in the war against the horde, depression and suicidal ideation, as well as a desire for vengeance, are what lead her back to the field — without a let out to her grief, she turns it into violence. but by the time she agrees to fight beside the army of the light, her perspective is considerably different.

starting from the beginning, i think it's important to point out just why alleria believed it was so fundamental to be part of the fight against the legion — because on a personal level, she did want to go back to azeroth and her family. but she is made to believe her role in fighting the legion is fundamental, to an extent denying to fight would be denying her planet a chance to survive. and this isn't at all out of any notion she is just that special (alleria certainly doesn't feel she is). but when a naaru, who she would have seen as the closest thing to a divine being she's ever interacted with (and not any naaru, but the so-called mother of light, older than azeroth itself, who she had no reason to doubt had the purest intentions at the time) suggests that you have to fight the legion, you specifically, or everything is lost, how can you say no?

Within you two [alleria and turalyon], there is hope for the universe.

that's like. one of the first things she says in that conversation. hope for the universe. and even then, when she suggests azeroth will be endangered, alleria's immediate reply is then we go back immediately and rally every nation to war, and even when xe'ra replies it won't be enough she argues it'll have to be, and after a whole speech about how they're fundamental to find something that'll destroy the legion, alleria agrees, not despite not being able to go back to her family, but for the ones she wishes she could go back to.

"I would do anything to protect Arator, to protect my people and my world. If there are enemies bent on destroying it, then I will not rest. I will give my life if necessary."

ultimately, that's what keeps her going. growing weary of fighting isn't an option any more than not staying to fight the legion was, no matter how much she may wish otherwise. and of course, ultimately that doesn't change that so much war takes its toll on her, that she's certainly a lot more hardened when she comes back to azeroth, that she doesn't know how to relax and enjoy peace because she spent a thousand years not knowing what that was. but, much like her strength against the void is found in love, i think that's true generally speaking. alleria holds on to the things that are important to her, the reasons why she's doing it in the first place. and it keeps her going.

like with any war, she would have had rest on occasion and eventual periods of whatever passed as leisure in a spaceship with the army of the light. in her free time, it would've helped to try to not think about the war — but she inevitably thinks a lot about the things she misses from home. i headcanon she took up drawing in that time as a way to remember and pour those feelings somewhere, when she missed a place or a person with particular intensity. there were likely books to be read, and maybe the occasional game to be played.

but staying in the xenedar for too long would have left her restless. she never liked staying inside for long periods of time; she's particularly prone to restlessness when there are demons to fight and kill before they can act against her planet. dealing with that would involve keeping herself busy with something that required her focus or would tire her out, like physical training.

overall, though, i think alleria's biggest problem was not having to deal with war, but that she came to not know how to exist outside of it. she brought a lot with her that quite frankly she can't get rid of, such as an enormous avoidance to talk about things or be in situations that remind her of distressing events (and even repressing thoughts of those things), constant alertness to her surroundings, and being largely desensitized to violence. she's exceptional on the battlefield, and it seems nothing can rattle her nerves — but you put her in a different situation and tell her to live a normal life and she wouldn't know where to start.

i think it's important to note she's already lived for centuries when she joins the alliance, and that she's been a ranger (and raised to be a general) for most of her life. she's not new to losing comrades and seeing people hurt, or being in life or death situations. the change here is the time the conflict lasts. but even when you think of what she's fighting, there's no great coping mechanism required to kill demons, they aren't seen as people as the people of azeroth's various races would be.

alleria also spent some time not necessarily at war while initially deserting the army of the light to seek out the void and the locus-walker (though she was still fighting on her own, and continued to face the legion, which eventually led to her imprisonment in niskara), her time training in the void itself, and her later imprisonment by the army of light. none of those circumstances were without their own share of stress and mental strain, nonetheless (quite the opposite). in many ways, those extreme environments also reinforced some of her behaviors mentioned before, be it in holding on to what she loves not to lose sight of what this is all for, or making her even more watchful of her environment, suspicious of most things, desensitized to violence and even more stressed about any mildly confining space, to name a few things.

#is someone who laughs at a demon's attempt of torture because she thinks its ridiculously weak and inneffective entirely sane? #i'll leave the answer for that one with you #anyway thanks for the ask mimi i could rant about alleria all day ♥️♥️♥️ #» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #war cw #suicidal ideation mention cw #violence cw #trauma mention cw #idk what else needs to be tagged #» character study — ⌜a sun no longer.⌟

[thasdorah]

i'll be letting mageseeker consume my life for the moment but as always you can probably catch me on discord

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #girls who write a bunch of replies and draft them bc they don't feel confident to post them rn (me i'm girls) #I LOVE ALL OF YOU FOR SENDING THAT MEME THOUGH.... #love to make my muses talk about people 😌 #feels like when you have those little wow prompts that are like #💬 What can you tell me of <character name>? #or 💬 Do you know <character name>? or whatever it is they say #aisnfiahfiah #except i get to write 3 paragraphs including the thoughts they don't want to say ♥️ #tbd.

[thasdorah]

send a ‘👄 + character name’ and my muse will talk about that character

#» prompts — ⌜dark wings‚ dark words.⌟ #the usual applies this is valid for all the sideblogs so i won't rb it 30 times #knaskjfasnf #if you'd like to be more specific as in.... a time period etc bc the things that could be said would be vastly different that's alright too

[thasdorah]

Her people. The meaning had been simple once; obvious. Nothing is anymore, Alleria had found since her return. Azeroth itself is still beyond her reach, but even amidst the desolation of Argus, the pieces of home she founds are not as they had once been. Vereesa had warned her about Sylvanas; told the tale of her death, that she had become something more sinister. Their sister was gone, Little Moon had said. What remained was no longer her at all.

Alleria wanted to believe otherwise. The thought her hope may have been a mistake crosses her mind at the sternness in that reply, the apparent aversion in the younger's gaze. She listens, nevertheless; coerced to hold back any animosity by the guilt of absence, if nothing else.

It is her legacy, is it not? Absence, and the regret that follows it. Lirath, Sylvanas, Vereesa, Arator — who had she loved and not failed like that?

What she knows of the Forsaken goes little beyond their existence and belonging to the Horde; it is not enough to make sense of Sylvanas' new people. "They clearly matter greatly to you," she says, ignoring any vitriol in her sister's gaze; it takes effort, but it is effort she is willing to make. The spite is earned. "For you to go to such a length to protect your people."

She had died for their people, before dedicating herself to this new one. There is no surprise in the eldest's reply, even if she makes a mistake in believing something of the sister she loved can still be found in the one standing before her. Alleria tries to speak the words, the ones that truly matter; it doesn't feel like the time or place, yet the time and place were long gone (when their home was attacked, when her sister fell, giving everything to protect it). There will never be a right moment, but this is no throwaway line, a meaningless thing to be expressed in passing. Maybe it is best she concludes more simply. "We all go to the lengths we feel are necessary to protect the things we love."

sylvanas says nothing else on the matter, thinning her lips into a line and mulling on the thought for only a moment longer before it washes away like words in the sand. her hands idle together in thought, pondering all the stolen moments and memories that had been reaped from their family. it was the scourge that sylvanas saw as the enemy, the ones who took everything she had left away. her life, her sisters, her home. the warchief looks at her sister with brows drawn, wondering if she knew how barren their homelands were since then, how little of the quel'dorei and sin'dorei remained.

not like it mattered to her. if it did, wouldn't she had tried harder? come home sooner? and turalyon, by the grace of undeath, turalyon. of all people to bring home, alleria brought him. sylvanas thinks of nathanos for but a moment and considers shuddering. but she doesn't.

"for my people." sylvanas says it sternly, in a way that almost predicts alleria would know nothing of it. her frown deepens at the statement, face contorting into something of disgust at her elder. the quip lingers on the tip of her tongue, and it threatens to slide off into the open air between them before she interrupts its maddening descent: "the forsaken. the horde had a target on us since the very moment we acquired liberation from the lich king. as warchief, nothing will separate us from the horde, nothing will leave us out in the cold again."

#raeshalare #» in character — ⌜voidtouched.⌟ #vereesa step up your bow game challenge fr

[thasdorah]

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #» character study — ⌜a sun no longer.⌟ #she

[thasdorah]

just bc i was talking about it earlier and also bc of that last bit of ic writing i just wanna say my take on alleria is that she's an extremely messy person, capable of being incredibly selfish, who doesn't know how to deal with grief or emotions or her trauma in general in a healthy way, who was raised to be a military leader from childhood and doesn't know how to live without a war, who's very combative and aggessive and beligerent and like. very, deeply flawed. she's also utterly loyal and loves with everything she has and would do anything for the people she loves and would fight to protect her world even when it no longer feels quite like home and lots of people would rather see her gone. capable of great good and great evil (but isn't that everyone?)

#» out of character — ⌜number one elf apologist.⌟ #i like my alleria windrunner messy af tbh #but not in 'i hate my sister and will try to kill her' sort of way #more in a 'i inadvertently end up hurting people i love because i'm impulsive and reckless and don't know how to healthly have emotions' #sort of way