teacherintransition

[teacherintransition]

Chunk: A Dream Come True

How often does a real personal dream come to realization?

I’m a kid watching Saturday morning cartoons; old school …Bugs Bunny, Tom and Jerry, Super friends, etc. etc.. All of these cartoons had the stereotypical bulldog cartoon rendition : gray or white fur, scrunched face, pointy ears and a scowl, I loved it! Whenever I would see a picture of a bulldog or if the god of dogs granted me the blessing of actually seeing one, my heart would melt. I’m a dog guy from the start. I loved them all whether if they are a beagle, chihuahua, terrier what have you, I loved them. But an English bulldog? It was a dream. I learned how expensive they could be and how problematic their health often is and discovered the expense was going to be a wall I couldn’t get over. I could do problematic all day long …I’m a teacher for goodness sake. I resigned myself to admiring them from afar.

I’m a grown man nursing my father while he is fighting a fourteen year battle with cancer. Dad was raised in poverty in the mountains of Georgia trying to eke out a living as a sharecropper farming family. My kids were in FFA as I was in school and the farm mentality was strong with us. Most people who farm for a living all pretty much have the same view of having pets …don’t. This obviously wasn’t a steadfast rule, but if you raise animals they are for profit or sustenance; it didn’t pay to get attached …too attached to farm animals or any domesticated animal. This was dad, except …for big slobbery, English bulldogs, it was the only time he ever mentioned wanting a pet. Since dad was a child of the depression, any expenditure on dogs or cats was deemed unnecessary. He’d bring up the bulldog longing and I would reply, “ dad, just get one.” “NAAAAHHHHH, don’t need to spend the money,” he would respond. Same old dad.

In 1998, dad got cancer for the first of three times and it was as rough as you could imagine. It’s a common reaction to know something a cancer patient really wants and wanting to get it for them, because, you know. In early 2012, dad got his last cancer diagnosis and by September, his struggle would end. I kept thinking about our mutual love of bullies and set about locating and …um, purchasing a bullie for me to raise and give dad a much needed boost to his mood. I looked and the average $2000 asking price was too much.

Serendipity happens. A good family friend’s mother was a breeder of beautiful English bulldogs. I lamented to them my inability to afford a registered bullie and my friend asked, “are you wanting one to raise for breeding or just to have as a pet?” “Pet,” was my reply. They then informed that they sell one year olds that were spayed or neutered for a couple of hundred dollars. It was on. Within a couple of days we were at his mom’s house shopping for bulldogs and I found “Fancy.” I was in love with the dog, but I couldn’t own a bulldog with a name like Fancy. When she came home, our home, I renamed her “Chunky.” It seemed more appropriate for their slobbery, chubby, funny demeanor of bulldogs and I had my dream come true.

Dad had returned to the hospital the day after Labor Day after getting to hold his great granddaughter for the first time. I got Chunk on September 12th, and dad’s condition worsened. I just knew that if he got to go home and meet Chunk, he’d be ok for a while. My father passed away on September 17th never having to experience the dream of having the dog in his family. It was my dream as well, but the additional heartbreak of dad not getting to love on Chunk made her so much more special to me and my family. I just wished dad could’ve held her once.

The average lifespan of an English bulldog is 8.5 years, due to their many health issues. In January, my Chunk celebrated her thirteen birthday. Every day that my lovable buddy greets me by putting her chin on my lap is an additional blessing for us. She is my shadow, she doesn’t let me get out of sight, she just wants to sit beside me and have her head scritched …not scratched. She travels with us all over the country and tolerates two yapping Pomeranians and is true, blue loyal and loving. It’s been heartbreaking to see her age and start moving slower and slower. Five years beyond her average and it’s been wonderful to have her every day. I hear her breathing get ragged at night. I see her sleep most of the day. I see her just stop and stare into space. I notice that she doesn’t seem to hear me as well. I can see her slowing down.

This draws my memories back to seeing my dad slow down. It’s terrifying to be aware of this slowly aging soulmate show her age; just an ominous as it was seeing dad …

It does little to assuage my sadness to realize that I’ve had her five years longer than average. I want my Chunky forever, but miracles and having dreams don’t always come together. It was special enough that I got to have her as my friend. How much longer? No way of knowing; no one has that special knowledge about anybody or anything. I had to tell myself that I have her today. Slower, achey, aging but I have her to love today. I’ve experienced the loss of many close canine, leporine (rabbit), hirsine (goat), friends throughout my life and my connection to and love for animals makes the loss excruciating. Retrospection helps me realize that our lives were immeasurably better for having them with us. Chunk carries a little more of an emotional connection. The inevitable will happen one day, but today isn’t that day. I get to live the dream a little longer and get to love my buddy another day. Tomorrow? Who knows? Who knows about anything tomorrow. All I know is I’m going to go sit in the backyard with my Chunk …and think about dad a little.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #english bulldog

[teacherintransition]

Coffee at The Counter

When we first arrived, it was frigid cool with large snow drifts and razor cold wind,

Driving home on the icy way, we a saw big, burly older fellow through a diner window,

Unremarkable in appearance, but he seemed to be very much forlorn and unrefined,

We drove along the precarious highway home and thought little more of the stoic man

Shortly thereafter, we visited the diner where the man sat, it was to be a late night meal,

There the burly man sat along the counter top where he had been before, he was still alone,

Studying the gentleman from our booth from the corner of my eye to see what inspection would yield,

His visage appeared somber, despondent, mournful and he spoke not a word but stared

He was seeing in his minds eye? Was he seeing his own private pain, a melancholy only he knew?

We had our dinner and the gentleman stepped out in the wintry gale for a smoke all alone,

Finishing his cigarette, he returned inside the diner to his seat, and ordered a coffee companionless,

Our eyes never met, but I feared him or more to the point feared feeling so abandoned as he

The weather warmed ever so slightly and several times we passed the diner where still he sat …alone,

My mind wandered about the plight of this unattended man and felt what I imagined he understood,

Why is he here? Why so isolated? He didn’t interact with anything about him except the cup he owns,

His eyes, pink and rubbed raw, never changed their visage, they were empty and broken and tearful,

I thought for a moment about what small comfort this little diner and endless cups of coffee this gave,

How close are we to being so alone in this world where “sameness” is the only bulwark to our mind,

I shivered at the thought of such a state and felt sympathy for the man and his loneliness enslaved,

Looking up, I saw that he was gone …only the cup left behind …I haven’t seen him since …

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

I’ve No Accent, It’s Y’all Fellas That Have An Accent

Apparently I sound more southern than my ears heard

If I could go back and do my collegiate studies differently, I’m quite certain I would study linguistics and study languages. There’s always been a sense of excitement and some ease in picking up languages, connections among different languages and an ability to mimic the accents of various regions. There was much entertainment to be had to be able to recreate various accents. My Russian accent was really coming along one year and I used it exclusively in my last period class for a week immediately after the start of the school year. I had my last period class convinced I was a Russian immigrant come to educate American children.

There’s so much negativity when it comes to learning any other languages in this country besides English. “We talk MURICAN round here;” I’ve heard that comment or one like it dozens of times. It’s depressing to see people react hostilely to anything different. We don’t even overlook the linguistic differences in our own way of talking with each other. The last eight months has made that abundantly clear. You see, Kim and I are from the Dixie side of deep East Texas and apparently, we talk with a bit of a twang. I was not ignorant regarding that state of affairs, as per my interest in languages, accents and history and such. We’ve traveled extensively in Europe and would get the casual, “you’re American, you sound like a John Wayne movie.” It’s fun to engage in such repartee overseas, but when you get teased for sounding, “so southern,” in your own country, well, by god that ain’t right.

Temporarily residing in the Midwest, our southern twang sticks out like a sore thumb! I thought I had it under control; I felt I had a certain style of sophistication that tamped down my drawl. Oh not the case tiny dancer, that became clear early on in Columbia, Mo. A person walked by with their beautiful Yorkie pup. The pup sniffed me and I looked to the owner and asked, “may I ?” She replied, “oh yass my DOG loves the attention.” I smiled at her quaint midwestern, nasally reply. Then she asked if I had a DOG to which I boldly responded, “why yes’m…we all have three DAWGS and I luv em to heaven and back. Do Y’ALL have more’n one DAWG?” And there it was …the smile on her face and the giggled question, “where in the south are you from?”

Every region has its stereotype: California has its gnarly surfin’ dude, Canada has its ultra polite people who drive you crazy when they say, “eh” so often, NYC has the tough Brooklyn accent and Boston has the famous “southie “ accent. I love a smooth, soft spoken, southern drawl like I love hearing birds sing. What is an irritation that’s hard to handle is the assumption that goes along with that lovely southern sound is that we all are back woods, country-ass rubes who live on gizzards and corn bread (which is amazingly delicious). I did mention stereotypes….and all stereotypes originate from some grain of truth. We DO have such folks down here, hell, I’ve been one of those fellows at times in my life; but it’s not one out of three folks. You adapt and alter your impressions based on your audience. I grew up hunting, I fished with my dad and my sons, I’ve set out trot lines in shallow dirty rivers, I worked road construction, roofed houses, built cabinets and enjoyed being immersed in the community of hard working, decent, fun men who put up no pretense. Although, the ability to engage in pretense can be helpful.

We all seek the freedom of being ourselves whenever we choose, but life is complex and as Shakespeare said, “…men play many roles!” I had my department meeting persona, my parent conference persona, my high minded artist persona, my empathetic persona as well. They were all me, I was just adjusting to the situation. You are who you are in whatever situation you find yourself. Nowadays, we find ourselves strangers in strange lands having great times. I can still adjust my jargon to the situation at hand, but a lot of those complex circumstances don’t happen as often as they once did. I’m proud of my history, legacy and heritage…and my suave, debonair silky smooth southern drawl. If it’s a struggle, I’m lovin it!

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

Earthbound; Denied The Sky

Across a gray, overcast sky you hear them first before finding them flying,

Four long-necked, graceful geese honk and soar with deliberate speed

Overhead with clear intent known only to the four fowl heading to a horizon,

Their sonorous blaring fading as they fly closer to the tree line in the distance,

———————————————[]——————————————

Looking at the sky, their image begins to become part of the silvered heavens,

How often have they flown over this patch of earth across the vaulted sky,

Oblivious to the changes on the ground as seen from their aerial perch,

Or are they? We see no markers in the sky save clouds that alter shape and direction,

———————————————[]——————————————

They must see us, must see the trees wave in the wind, must see winding waterways,

Flying with such purpose, no part of their sky bound voyage could be a mystery?

Unlike our lives which we plan with cautious precision all the while knowing,

Our plans could fade into the gray just as easily as geese flying into distant limit,

———————————————[]——————————————

Shortly after, from the opposing horizon in the sky, the V of geese approach,

The sonorous blare of the approaching birds returns and begins to grow louder, until

Until our attention is snatched by the booming refrain of panicked cries from above,

The four original geese have quickly returned from their previous direction aloud with,

———————————————[]——————————————

Piercing cries in unison, facing the larger flock, those cries known only by the birds above,

The feathered harbingers fly directly past them, but the V reacts to the warning,

Without a sound, they arc and alter their course veering north towards the expanse,

Some danger or threat avoided by protective angels who flew ahead of the rest,

———————————————[]——————————————

The performance played out above me comes to an end as the first four follow them,

The scouts of the flock now become the protection …the rear guard, safe and silent,

Would days be better if we traversed this world in similar fashion, like an air bound flock?

A valiant foursome traveling ahead to forewarn us of looming threats and shadows,

———————————————[]——————————————

To allow a chance to avoid pitfalls and challenges by going on before us to let us know,

So together, we can change course and reach our destinations unmolested or unchallenged,

I suppose we are too distrustful to function in such a way, too arrogant to rely on others,

Perhaps if we could float or fly or glide above the obstructions and unknown dangers

———————————————[]——————————————

Of being earth bound? Nothing hidden behind a hill or by trees, all of it laid out before us,

Would we be more trusting of our common directions and destinies? Our fellow travelers?

The graceful, gliding geese flew in unison together and didn’t doubt the warning,

Warning of some unknown danger seen clearly with the view of a bird’s eye above it all,

———————————————[]——————————————

We cannot see around the corner until we rounded it, cannot see what remains hidden,

Until we are before it. The best we can to do to have the foresight of the flock above,

Is to listen to the wisdom of others who have gone our way before us, we acknowledge

How little we know when we are earth bound, denied the vista of expanse if we flew.

———————————————[]——————————————

We don’t …so be aware of what you see and what others have to say to us.

There is a flock waiting …for us.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

Uma Odisséia Visual: Parte Três

Ten years traveling Europe and North America; three years living on the road

Three years of traveling our state and country; six years of traveling Europe has left our humble abode in Nacogdoches as a part time residence. Before the age of forty five, the idea of seeing so much of the world would’ve been merely a passing thought followed by a shrug. Change can be a wonderful, and terrible thing, but it must be managed when it occurs. We made these choices, one might argue, in a state of distress. I retired due to health issues and Covid after thirty years; and Kim left her hospital of thirty three years due to greedy, corporate mismanagement. We didn’t wish for any of the circumstances that occurred. It was a frightening time, that be boldly took charge of our way. We’ve made a fun, exciting life for as long as it lasts. There are other dreams to pursue: a year in Europe, traveling with family and grandkids and settling on the open North Central Texas plains …or in Weston, Mo, or in the Blue Ridge …who knows?

Until the cards are laid on the table, I wanted to present a pictorial article of our lives and homes away from home. I hope you enjoyed our stories and the following pictures.

Edinburgh, Scotland & Galway, Ireland

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

Une odyssée visuelle: Part Deux

Ten years traveling Europe and North America; three years living on the road

Three years of traveling our state and country; six years of traveling Europe has left our humble abode in Nacogdoches as a part time residence. Before the age of forty five, the idea of seeing so much of the world would’ve been merely a passing thought followed by a shrug. Change can be a wonderful, and terrible thing, but it must be managed when it occurs. We made these choices, one might argue, in a state of distress. I retired due to health issues and Covid after thirty years; and Kim left her hospital of thirty three years due to greedy, corporate mismanagement. We didn’t wish for any of the circumstances that occurred. It was a frightening time, that be boldly took charge of our way. We’ve made a fun, exciting life for as long as it lasts. There are other dreams to pursue: a year in Europe, traveling with family and grandkids and settling on the open North Central Texas plains …or in Weston, Mo, or in the Blue Ridge …who knows?

Until the cards are laid on the table, I wanted to present a pictorial article of our lives and homes away from home. I hope you enjoyed our stories and the following pictures.

Round Rock/ Georgetown/ Austin area

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

A Visual Odyssey

I’ve written much of our travels the past three years; I thought of connecting images to my stories.

Three years of traveling our state and country; six years of traveling Europe has left our humble abode in Nacogdoches as a part time residence. Before the age of forty five, the idea of seeing so much of the world would’ve been merely a passing thought followed by a shrug. Change can be a wonderful, and terrible thing, but it must be managed when it occurs. We made these choices, one might argue, in a state of distress. I retired due to health issues and Covid after thirty years; and Kim left her hospital of thirty three years due to greedy, corporate mismanagement. We didn’t wish for any of the circumstances that occurred. It was a frightening time, that be boldly took charge of our way. We’ve made a fun, exciting life for as long as it lasts. There are other dreams to pursue: a year in Europe, traveling with family and grandkids and settling on the open North Central Texas plains …or in Weston, Mo, or in the Blue Ridge …who knows?

Until the cards are laid on the table, I wanted to present a pictorial article of our lives and homes away from home. I hope you enjoyed our stories and the following pictures.

Alexandria, Louisiana

Baptist Church on Jackson St.

Enjoying a stroll at Hynson Dog Park

Fort Randolph Battle site

Fort Randolph Battle site

Fort Randolph Battle site

The Tasting Room

Stained Glass, Mirror Lounge

Granbury, Texas

Methodist Church SH 144

Pier on Lake Granbury

Life is a visual experience…I hope you enjoy these …with others to follow.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #Alexandria

[teacherintransition]

It's my 4 year anniversary on Tumblr 🥳

#4 year tumblrversary #tumblr milestone

[teacherintransition]

Do you want to live forever?

Do you want to live forever?

Forever, and ever

Whether young or old or in between,

As it is, we will all be gone someday

Maybe today or perhaps forever

Like jewels we are young, but only for a short time,

It’s so hard growing older and to keep afire

Sun rise and sunset

To see your deeds fade from light,

Adventures that didn’t happen…songs not sung,

What might have been

How do we age if there are few reasons to do so,

Do we die young since we can’t live forever,

Our time is so brief

Heaven can wait if we see the golden sun,

What will we see when our race is run,

Aged faces seeing the sun

Watching the skies on this short day,

Some of us never tried to run,

There is only today

The race was over before it begun,

We somberly danced to music

Written by others

Our tale played out not as we wished,

There is only today forever and ever,

Whether young or old

If we live it with abandon the day endures,

Did you plot your own path and run your own race,

The moment can be eternal

Can you set your own dreams in your way,

Sing your own song while time there may be,

For soon, we will be gone

Don’t worry…the fires will always burn,

The passing time is but a lie,

It seems real, but it’s always now

Our struggles dim our visions

Don’t grow old in your heart or your dreams,

There is always now

Let your music play and look forward,

Take my hand and let us face the sun,

Forever and ever

Let our hearts be forever young,

Forever and ever

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

The Pallet, The Pad or The Pen?

Not really a pen per se …more like a keyboard

When Covid burst upon the scene four years ago; with retirement following soon after, my sanity was saved by constantly painting. In a few months, I painted two dozen pieces and kept my mind together. When we made the decision to retire, I kept the pace up as well as creating numerous works involving medieval iconography and illuminated manuscript. My practice time on guitar has been up and down. I also embarked on a string of writing projects that I’ve steadily increased in the interim. I’ve had three articles published, written a book, and over two hundred blog articles on various platforms. Poetry has been something I added to my repertoire with questionable success …I hope leaning toward the success element. It was never my intention to devote as much time to writing as I have and as I look at the year long unfinished painting that I brought to Missouri, it haunts me, it teases me …it’s calling me names. How have I let my visual art work become ignored so much?

It’s not been a total turnaround in regards to visual art; I’ve completed a series of illustrations for children’s book, but eight months of work went down the drain, I’ve also taken a plethora of photos during our travels. Why can’t I get my damn easel out and paint? To add to the agony, the last two nights I’ve watched “At Eternity’s Gate” and “Lust for Life,” two cinematic masterpieces telling the story of my painting saint, Vincent Van Gogh. I don’t know if I’m trying to motivate myself or shame myself. The vast majority of my painting tools are at my home studio in Nacogdoches, but c’mon Brent …that’s not an excuse.

The paintings were really tied up with our European travels pre-Covid, but we’ve only been back once in 2022; but geez, another non excuse as we have been traveling across the country and state with no ending of possible subjects to paint. It is frustrating. My writing routine is strong and I don’t want to shut it down, but I have to say something with the acrylics and oils …I don’t know what, but something is screaming to get out. The longer it takes to get back on the horse, the more intimidating it becomes. It’s similar to working out, or reading, or doing home chores; getting started is the hardest part. The films were motivating, but I connected too strongly with the struggles of an artist, Vincent in particular, and fear of failure gut punched me and my eyes turned to the year long unfinished painting sitting in the corner. Damn you painting! Is there a solution? There is and writing about this internal conflict is part of, I hope, the solution.

So, here I am, going on the record: I am going to produce a painting in the next …week, few weeks, before the apocalypse? What if I don’t? It’s not a scene man, not a good one anyway. The paints are calling and fearful of drying out. Wish me luck…

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #painting #acrylic paint #french painter #van gogh

[teacherintransition]

The Teacher in Transition

What has been learned?

From Monday, August 3rd 2020 to Friday February 2nd 2024 there have been 1278 days. That's 3 years, 5 months and 30 days. This is the amount of time that has passed since I retired from thirty years of teaching. A career that started August 20th 1990 and lasted 10941 days …29Years, 11 Months, 14Days. Yes, there is still a significant part of my mindset that feels that I should still be at it; a feeling that abandoned those kids. I suppose that will never go away. I know I did my best and most days I feel I made a difference. I have nothing to prove. I know I more than likely won’t go back, but I ask myself, what was the trade off?

In my initial planning towards retirement, there were specific goals and dreams to be pursued. No planning was taken lightly; attention to detail was carefully paid, structure was established… and very little turned out as planned. Despite dotting “i’s” and crossing “t’s,” we are at a place I would never have imagined. Luckily, it’s been mostly good surprises with few disappointments and the biggest lesson was just to roll with things. Nothing is written in stone. Surprising and infinite variety is a good thing, and learning to not be locked in to one definitive result has been a lesson I wished I’d learned earlier in life. Ah well, wisdom is where and when you find it.

What have I learned during this change in life’s direction? If you are being adventurous in any way, expect that most of your contemporaries are not. Trust me, you’re going against the grain, most our age are settling into routine and making their worlds smaller. If you have friends of a like mind, chances are you’ll never see them as you and your fellow adventurers are always out of pocket …away … traveling… experiencing life. Those most like you in pursuing a life of adventure will only, usually, communicate via text or social media. It’s sad to a degree, but it is who we are and what you feel if you are avoiding the rocking chair. Most of my other friends who are still in the workforce are a welcome sight when we return to Nac. They are always asking about our lives and are happy for you. This is a good thing; to be welcomed home …and it is home, even though Kim and I spend most of our days on the road each year.

Another thing I’ve learned is that post career can be very lonely. I say this thankful that my best buddy, Kim …my spouse for almost 37 years, is my road companion, but missing the home friends is a real deal. This I didn’t fully expect…I’m not good at doing the alone thing. Life is balance, sometimes, and karma gave me a good experience to keep things balanced. At the various, towns, villages, cities, coffee shops, bars, hikes, walks, sightseeings etc. etc. I’ve made friends all over the country and the world. This has been a wonderful discovery that I didn’t plan. We’ve made friends with folks in Scotland, Ireland, Italy, Chicago, Alexandria La., Austin, Granbury, Missouri, Kentucky, Kansas, Oklahoma, Minnesota and more! Friends we would never have met if we stayed in Nacogdoches! Jorge, Melissa, Jim, Vangie, Jeanette, Sarah, Luigi, Margaret, Dustin, Samantha, Caitlyn, Happy, Jennifer, Dana, Scotty, Big Mooch, J, William …and on and on. This was and is fortunate happenstance. The loneliness is a bitch, but I’m grateful for new friends in new places.

A final fortunate development has been the growing bond with my sons and their families. I hoped for this, but its happening has been unlike what was expected. It’s an incredible feeling … a sense of family perpetuity that is wonderful. I can see and feel that our family and its impact will see a bright future. The balance reestablished … the bleak mindset of middle age assuaged by a sense of our lineage going forward is incredibly exciting. I see my sons and grandchildren carrying Kim and I into the future, an unexpected pleasure. Without question, unpleasant things have occurred and more will in the future of that I’m certain. As this transition goes forth, I’m in possession of a faith that my family and friends will carry on and negate some of the bad that is expected. Freeing yourself the drudgery of the chains of working and bill paying has allowed me to see possibilities undreamed of as a young man. I’m not being blind, everything is precarious and life can turn in an instant: financial struggles, illness, death can all overturn the cart, but wasn’t it always the case? Everyday is a choice and is also devoid of control. Go with the flow and don’t settle for sameness. This is the biggest lesson I’ve learned. Movement is life …and it ain’t half bad.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

The Sky is Gray

Wherever I am, anywhere I go, people will say,

That life is not black and white but simply gray,

It’s a thought of right and wrong and all in between,

Trying to make sense of all the things we have seen

I understand clearly why people think this thing,

It diminishes one’s confusion the kind that stings,

But gray is like being lost in a fog or a mist,

The winter blows in and clarity seems not to exist

The snow covers the ground while flurries cross our way,

The sky, gray, with snow, sleet and heavy clouds this wintry day,

Trees to the horizon, bare with no leaves, blend in the sky as best as I can tell,

Dappled and drab the heavens covered with a misty veil

The gusts hurt our eyes with their frigid, frozen bite,

We squint our eyes look askance obstructing our sight,

Trudge and trudge through the knee deep snow,

It’s color, like the sky lost in the gray no where to go

Is this what they mean when they tell us this world is but gray,

No direction clear …no north no south as we lose our way,

The path to home and rest is a puzzle whether the sky be clear or no,

If just black and white, the sky and world has but one place to go

We have lived long enough that there is myriad of roads to walk,

The path to home is still the route despite all of the confusing talk,

Be it green or gray or black or white or cold or tepid the trail is to all,

Unique to you only for one path will get you to your place I recall.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #winter #it’s cold #gray

[teacherintransition]

The Wordy Ramblings of A Weak, Weary, Wimpy Texan Wandering Winter

No, really …a REAL winter

Ahhh …how everyone tingles with excitement to hear the braggadocio and bravado of the Texas man! With rapt attention all humanity bends their ear and focuses full attention when a rough and rowdy Texan starts a sentence with, “by god …why back in Texas we got it all!” “We got us mountains and rivers and forests and beaches and deserts and wild horses and longhorn cattle and the ‘by damn’ Alamo and the best ‘by god’ barbecue in the whole damn world!” He won’t stop there; oh no …he will go on ad infinitum! “We got us Merica’s team …THE COWBOYS, we got us the Astros and everything is bigger in Texas!” And, with no forethought or sense of restraint will bellow, “AND ITS BY GOD 120° EVERY DAMN DAY!” It’s too late now, with foot firmly planted in the loud mouth, he must respond to the inevitable question asked by any thoughtful citizen of the forty nine other states or the rest of the Northern Hemisphere; “that’s amazing big Texas fellow, but how are the winters down there?’ “How do you fellas handle cold weather?”

At this point, excuse making and stuttering and stammering most likely follows. The bigger than life Texan will most likely be overcome with a sense of feeling inferior and attempt a subject change. I got them feels. I know that the entire state will panic and shutdown the moment a gray sky fills the horizon and a few gentle snowflakes make their way to the ground. Cars run off the road whether it be a farm road or interstate highway and sand is poured on aforementioned roads to avert vehicular disaster. It’s a real scene man and would be hilarious if it was for the mismanaged disaster of the 2021 “snowmaggedon” where hundreds of Texans froze to death. That’s all I’ll mention about the criminally bungled handling of our major winter storm; we can’t lose the light hearted frivolity of this article …what would the reader say? What would sensitive Texans say? What do I have to say beyond the rambling?

As a lifelong Texan, the last two weeks of our time in Kansas City, Missouri, I must say I’ve been humbled, nay I’ve been rattled, disconcerted, why in a tizzy even. We arrived January 5th to a light dusting of snow and we “ooed and awed” at the lovely sight. We were being set up for what followed; and what was that you may ask? Two weeks of -15° temperatures (I couldn’t bring myself to look at the wind chill factor) ice on roads an inch think and up to a foot of snow. It HURT, I couldn’t get a semblance of getting warm, my doggies wouldn’t step onto the iced over porch to do their business.(let your imagination wander on that one) Driving became precarious, cabin fever set in, I felt stir crazy, the sun disappeared; and, with proper …uh props to Dr. Peter Venkman, sleet and ice falling from the sky, rivers freezing, forty years of darkness, earthquakes, volcanoes, human sacrifice, cats and dogs living together….MASS HYSTERIA!* I exaggerate, but just a little because as I write this tale of woe, a gray squirrel just slipped off of an icy limb and fell twenty five feet into a snow bank. He brushed himself off and climbed back up the tree. Obviously not a Texas Squirrel. What is even more frightening to consider is that bar mates of mine who have lived in Canada, Nebraska, Iowa and Minnesota wave their hand at this weather saying, “oh,this is nothing!” It is beyond my comprehension!

We’ve had people question us with incredulity as to why in the world are we there? Geez, we’ve asked ourselves the same questions. It’s a metaphor for a life well lived …in a sense. Life ain’t always sunshine and warm tropical breezes my friend, sometimes it’s cold and harsh; but aren’t we better off for the experience? The experience… life is all the more richer when you have a variety of experiences. No one wants just vanilla all the time and the hardy nature of the folks we’ve met and the beauty of the snowy cold has been fantastic. We know we can handle it; another new challenge overcome, yea for us! Memories and stories and anecdotes will be packed away with the others we’ve collected since this traveling adventure began two years ago. Variety is the spice of life whether it’s served hot or cold. All of us on this world carry their own struggles, triumphs and challenges, with the more of them you see yourself the better human you can become. Look, it’s snowing again …

*From the lines of the immortal Bill Murray in GHOSTBUSTERS

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #winter #missouri

[teacherintransition]

I Want to Be From Nowhere

All my life, voices claim authority from on high or a claim to speak for a nation,

Have with belligerence tried to establish our identities and what makes the identity

Pure and righteous and have denigrated anyone who tries to expand who they are,

“A real this or that” thinks this or that and cannot stray. In my face they scream!

You are from here, you must believe as we and hate what we hate and love only here,

But I’ve seen behind their flags and banners and I saw a world of wonder and beauty,

That isn’t for you they bellow, you are from here and what’s here is only for you

I’ve seen the same demagogues from other places spit at me because of where I’m from,

Condemn me and close their doors to those like me and scream they loathe where I’m from,

Declare I’m not welcome in their part of the world and I’m not to infect their people,

And those who speak from my home find hateful agreement with the “foreign” people only on this,

But I’ve seen behind their flags and banners and saw humanity like myself who want to see more

That isn’t for you they tell them you are from here and what’s here is only for you

I want to be from nowhere, I want to be freed from the velvet chains that restrict what I am or see,

I want to be from nowhere so that I can be from anywhere and see everything and befriend everyone,

I want to be from nowhere so that I can call anyplace home, to lay my head and rest wherever I roam,

I want to be from nowhere so that I can travel anywhere and make fellowship with anyone who, like I ,

Are enamored with the magnificent variety and beauty that is found hidden behind flags and banners

It’s all meaningless as the centuries show those willing to see, that the righteous place is always in flux,

Loud, hateful voices have been tortuous throughout time and place and the borders that I don’t see

Change through time as do the people and places they hate, their only sameness is that they must hate,

Multitudes hidden behind spiteful rhetoric and flags and banners outnumber those who claim their authority

They, like me, want to see, hear, taste, meet, explore all that excites their heart and make us all more

I want to be from nowhere so that home can be anywhere…

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

There is A Lifetime in Every Moment

We live in such a fast paced world ignoring the eternity inherent in each breath we take…

We are starting our third year of traveling the country as my wife works as a travel nurse. I’ve shared many of our experiences while on the road, yet there are so many daily and momentary discoveries that we have overlooked through much of our lives as our society seems to feed on stress and accelerated living. A lesson follows for the still young and always young at heart. In the book, Zen O’clock by Scott Shaw, the author, referencing Eastern philosophy, instructs us how to positively affect our experience with time by simply getting in touch with the immense amount of sensory stimulus that exists in every minute. Thus slowing down our relationship with time. Shaw tells us that the sheer pace and anxiety of life robs us of the magic of occurrence happening constantly.

I used to try to get my students to understand this concept by asking them to share the details of simply getting the mail from the outside mailbox. The response that I would get fell along the lines of opening the door, walking to the box, retrieving the mail and going back inside; usually accompanied by their cellphone. I’d asked how long it would take to do this and the common reply was, “I dunno …maybe a minute.” The next question was, “is it an enjoyable experience?” To which, their comment was, “no, it’s kind of a drag.” Ahhh teenage eloquence. How can this mundane chore be anything but …mundane? Shaw shares that our rushed existence keeps us from noticing the beauty and magic all around and actually encourages a negative view on most of our daily activities. Why does everything have to be mundane, boring, a drag? What if we took in everything going on around us even while simply getting the mail?

Ask yourself when doing some sort of daily chore, do you notice the breeze? Do you feel the soft coolness of the grass? Can you hear birdsong while retrieving the mail? What do you smell or see? Take in all in …every moment and to do so effectively, put down the phone and take out your ear buds. All of a sudden, life and its daily drudgery can become much more alive. Life can exist beyond just the blink of an eye and it’s gone …time can stand still.

Traveling lends itself greatly to exposing yourself to new sights, sounds, tastes, cultures and histories, but we are finding deeper experiences from the places we live three months at a time. For instance? For instance, we can truly say that we have finally experienced the unique qualities four full seasons. Being from Texas, our seasonal weather is generally hot, really hot, not so hot, comfortable, brief cool temperatures and then back to hot. A drag …indeed. We’ve seen lush verdant rolling hills filled to the horizon with corn during the spring; we’ve experienced real winters with daily snow; we’ve seen magnificent colored fall vistas of trees atop equally magnificent mountains. We stop and just look and admire what is around us …truly time stands still. We don’t look at our phones other than to take pictures, but I want to get past that and work on creating visual images and memories in our minds.

The people we meet are wonderful, the cities fantastic, the foods superb …because it’s all new to us. I could write extensively on all of these things, but today I wanted to share our feelings on things that are often overlooked. The immense, timeless, magical beauty that happens all around us whether we take the time to look at them or not. We cheat ourselves out of so much by being in such a hurry and obsessed with getting “something” done. What could be more important? Slow down and be aware of everything around you when getting the mail, running to the grocery, commuting to and from work. Life is happening now …now …now. Let it be life on your terms.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

Would You Do It Again? You Know …The Big Picture

Transitioning means rethinking…I think

Since my life change three years ago, I’ve forced myself to re-examine the years of my life and analyzed my choices and the reasons why they were made. I know you can’t go back and redo anything, but I can avoid errors for the future. I also suppose it’s the teacher I am to share what wisdom I’ve picked up from my unwise modus operandi of my younger years. Regrets? Yeah, I have a few (thank you Ol’ Blue Eyes); nothing overwhelmingly depressing, but definitely things to learn from and to share. I have sons aged 38, 31 and 28; I have made good friendships with students from over thirty years that often ask my advice …a very flattering gift. It’s refreshing to know I still have things to teach.

The abstract, big picture type of reevaluation are the most intriguing. Personal thoughts are valued, but what of the cultural, societal “rethinks” you have when taking time to look back. First among these new conclusions is why did I wait to my fifties to challenge some assumptions? We should always question and challenge the path of conformity; no matter our age. Often these are rules that other people have made over generations based on lives that really have nothing to do with us. I’ve always advised my students to avoid feeling forced to play life “by the numbers.” It ain’t always what it’s cracked up to be sports fans! Every life should be a striving to live as uniquely as possible… yeah, it’s that possible that we need to challenge …uh, um …when possible.

My life hasn’t been overly ambitious as I’m a firm believer in as Dr. Spock said, “the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few,” thus working for chump change as an educator in Texas. There’s got to be some wiggle room somewhere…right? I think people that dedicate their lives to service; teachers, first responders, military, nurses etc etc struggle the most with this. That being said, we all conform to certain rules of the road that don’t really contribute to our daily lives. I do not advocate selfishness, but I like the current term “self care” a helluva lot.

In that mindset, we are told to work, work, work and put off personal dreams until you’re older. Let me just say to my younger readers, uh, this is a rethink. Henry David Thoreau warns us, “that the mass of men live lives of quiet desperation.” Ain’t that the truth; paths set forth by people who we never have met. How many lives are burdened with chains that do not create personal freedoms? Are we free of debt? How much of that debt is pushed on us? Is there freedom from stress, fear, anxiety, indignity, betrayal, ridicule, failure? You know the answer. I’m not naive, Buddha tells us the first noble truth is that our lives are filled with suffering and loss, but the wise teacher then tells us that the second noble truth is that we are to joyfully participate in this life of loss and suffering. Looking back, these truths aren’t contradictions.

The eternal anguish is the thought that given the chance, if we knew then what we know now, would we do the same things over? It’s a very personal conclusion, but damn, don’t we all NOT want to live lives of quiet desperation? I dunno the answers, being a teacher, writer, artist I discovered early on that conformity was my cup of tea. We all feel enslaved and trapped at times keeping up with the Joneses, but I suppose I’d recommend taking some time, no matter what your age, to stop and question your choices, potential or those already made and see what truly makes you and your family happy. It’s only life after all.

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education

[teacherintransition]

There Was Once A Time

The night was long and the day so brief,

The sun barely broke the horizon,

And the moon at night glowed so bright,

Every step was on snow or leaf

The beasts of the field nestled close to earth,

Days had grown shorter and life’s ardor so still,

The fields cold and barren, the wind through trees howled,

We as family drew close to small heat from the hearth

Banshees wailed and faeries hid in the limbs of trees,

The magic ones fled to their caves underground,

The folk who held the Yule shivered but looked to new days,

Days that were longer and the sun we would see

All seemed dreary, yet our hearts beat wildly, our eyes aglow,

Mother Earth was being born anew as she woke from slumber,

Through the cold and the gloom we knew what was to come,

Solstice a time we dare not forget, life will come from under the snow

So light we the bonfires beneath mighty oaks,

And dance we round the fire filled with mead and ale,

Dress the trees in lights and let the children play,

Sing and dream and chant of magic things cried the folk

The air smelled of bread and stews of ale freshly brewed,

Ciders and fruits and meat from the bone,

Bayberry, cinnamon, wine mulled from o’er the fire,

The Rowan tree like standing people their enchantment renewed

From the gloaming to the dawn we all feel the earth breathe,

Felt by the children, the old, the infirm, the trees, the sky,

It is Yule time and this day has it been since before the before,

Fire shares its warmth, look to the moon, a new season to us bequeathed

#open mind #retirement #coffetime #stress #change #teacher #i need friends #health #writing #education #yuletide #yule #winter solstice