#~queer~ allows people to imagine that we're not exclusive | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catgirlforeskin · 1 year

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So have you seen the latest nonsense the cishets have cooked up? Apparently they say being an AFAB trans woman is a thing now because apparently a cis woman wanting a penis is the same thing as trans women wanting to transition and we're not allowed to say anything about it.

I think trans people as a group should have had our Rachel Dolezal moment years ago because I feel like stuff like this actually does do harm as it hurts our ability to function as a political block because everything we say has to be filtered through like 10 steps of threat modelling and clarifications before we've even gotten to like idk what we're supposed to be fighting for? Like imagine a crowd chanting "not that we're saying it's a requirement to be valid or that dysphoria makes you trans, or that those that don't want to aren't trans but we think trans healthcare is a human right for those that think they need it to validate their gender" it sounds crazy but could you imagine what would happen if we tried to demand pointed concise legal protections and solutions? Like we'd be destroyed by "our own community" long before anyone else :/

Idk maybe I'm doomering or wrong here but still it feels shit, and it feels like I'm going crazy because seeing people who claim to be trans (because let's be real who's going to stop them) not only jam discussions surrounding some of our most important issues but be praised for it, like I legit saw people advocating for HRT to be considered a secondary treatment and that therapy should be the first thing trans people are put through and get praised for it despite the fact that they litterally just re invented conversion therapy but in a woke way.

Idk am I wrong? Am I losing the plot here? Idk anymore.

yeah it’s always annoying seeing like, afab non-binary people go “I’m a trans woman, I’m trans and a woman :)” or the even worse version with transmascs of “I’m not tme, I’m affected by transphobia and misogyny, therefore I’m a target of transmisogyny too :)”

At the end of the day, like, what other queer people call themselves in their personal lives is their own business, even if it’s something I personally disapprove of, and if there was a huge contingent of cis women who wanted penises but in a girl way instead of a transmasc way that would honestly rule and be swag as hell

BUT the tme people who try to claim transfemininity for themselves usually do it as a political sleight of hand to absolve themselves of any possible culpability in transmisogyny, because if it affects ALL trans people, then they don’t have to listen to trans women when we bring up the real harm being done by shit like, say, participating in harassment callouts exclusively targeting trans women

#asks

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theophagie · 4 months

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Hhhh I found myself in a Hell upon Earth situation with the psych today. "When I was little I was a tomboy, and for as long as I remember I've been getting into fights with my mother over my preference for masculinity, and even though this is something I only understood afterwards part of the misery I felt throughout my high school years was due to the fact that that was the only time I actively tried to fit in even though it only made me feel bad about myself" "I see. But you only began wearing men's clothes and cutting your hair after your father left right". BITCH!!!!!!!! What do you want me to say. Yes, because he finally fucked off during my last year of high school ie the environment where I was surrounded almost exclusively by girls and that made me feel like shit both about myself and about doing femininity wrong when I tried. The two things happened to happen at the same time, what do you want me to say about it. It doesn't cancel out literally every other year of my life!!!!! What he insinuated made me so mad, especially considering that I had just pulled myself together after the most embarrassing cry of my life because I tried to talk about how much I hate it that people feel entitled to comment on other people's bodies and looks. Ugh. Gender is a complicated topic and the tldr is that labels feel either like they don't apply or uncomfortable so I just put up with being seen as a cis woman, and with this in mind I can't even begin to imagine how a more in depth conversation would go...... Eg I don't think of myself as trans even though obviously I have a number of experiences and feelings in common with the Trans Experience, but the average person isn't going to respond with "hell yeah gender nonconformity and fuckery huge win for queer identities <3" if you tell them "I don't really like being thought of as a woman or having breasts, I like speaking in dialect because it allows me to switch from feminine to masculine to neutral without it being too clockable, I don't mind being mistaken for a guy, and sometimes I really really wish I had I dick" (and even then considering where I am it'd be a miracle if they even thought of being trans as an acceptable thing at all). *Timmy Turner's dad voice* the binary.............. So that's really frustrating, technically I go there to Talk About Things but I know that's there's no point in doing it when we're walking on completely parallel lines. There's even less of a point if you act like you're listening to me then try to reduce everything to daddy issues >_>

#unfortunately. it is what it is because 1) cheap 2) with the state of things in this country... finding someone decent when it comes to this #would be kind of. 😬#(--_--)#mytext

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nannyfeline · 2 years

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thing is, they ARE trying to stop people talking about izzy elsewhere, because THEY ARE EXPLICITLY SAYING that people talk more about him than they would personally prefer.

"my friends and I choose privately not to talk amongst ourselves about this character that we don't like" is different than "here is an invitation to a public discord server UNLESS you want to talk about that character you DO like because we think the existence of this character is kind of ruining the fandom, and we're going to make up some excuses about how he isn't a main character but allow discussion of much more minor characters because, again, if you talk about this character you're ruining the fandom"

it's PUBLICLY singling out people and excluding them to let those people know that they are doing something wrong. there are lots of ways to handle this, to avoid seeing discussion of a character (or ship or trope or whatever) you don't like, and making a special place for you and your fandom clique to exclude people and then coming on misha collins' tumblr dot com and TELLING those people they can't be in your clique is the shitty way to handle it.

as an example, I don't particularly care for major kira. I curate my experience and avoid a lot of kira content and when it ends up in my space, I scroll by without telling people they are wrong for talking about her so much. but imagine a DS9 server that allows discussion of anything and everything and every other character and ship, EXCEPT for major kira. AND THEN SAYING IT'S NOT BECAUSE YOU DISLIKE HER OR HER FANS. that's fucking disingenuous and you're really just trying to make people feel bad for not doing fandom the way you wish they would.

and then there's this:

izzy, the man who loves another man so much that he tries to kill that man's boyfriend MULTIPLE TIMES and then eats his own toe about it, isn't explicitly queer enough, but wee john and frenchie and spanish jackie ARE?

they're using "we're just trying to preserve the queerness of the show and the fandom" to fucking shame people who like a character they don't particularly care for. are you for fucking real?? "but literally every other character is allowed because they DON'T threaten the queerness, and we don't really have a basis for that, we just say so." fuck that. this take about izzy is not exclusive to this one user or this one discord and is a symptom of a larger issue of people gatekeeping not just ofmd fandom or fandom in general (though it is that, too) but what it means to be queer, particularly queer online.

(I have seen some make the argument that izzy stans shift the focus from poc characters, and I agree there IS something there. but stanning izzy doesn't inherently mean you don't stan the other characters, and excluding izzy but allowing other white characters doesn't do anything to prevent the marginalization of poc characters.)

going back to my DS9 server idea, imagine I have a server that doesn't allow discussion of o'brien, and I said the basis for excluding him was because he wasn't queer enough. there ARE implicitly queer relationships on DS9, and discussion of o'brien COULD marginalize those relationships (prioritizing obrashir over garashir, for instance). but then why wouldn't other straight cis characters (like sisko or quark) also be excluded? and then imagine I posted about it on the thirteenth doctor's internet and acted like I WASN'T trying to make you feel unwelcome in the fandom for stanning o'brien.

here's the thing: I don't actually care if you don't like izzy or izzy discussion. I just do not care. I DO CARE if you're making fandom an unwelcome place for others because you personally don't like that discussion.

I mean, sure, create your cliques AND THEN TELL EVERYBODY YOU HAVE A CLIQUE WHERE THEY'RE NOT WELCOME. that is your prerogative. and it's my prerogative to say that's a shitty thing to do.

#same tags as last time #because the point stands #don't exclude people from fandom spaces because they like something you don't #a fandom space for ONLY blackbonnet or jim/oluwande? sure. a fandom space that ONLY excludes a single character? gtfo #you're the worst #ofmd #our flag means death #keeping it in the tag because y'all need to reevaluate how you're choosing to interact with fans

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secret-murmurs · 3 years

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I love Pride month. But these debates are exhausting.

Without fueling the original posts, I'd like to say:

We need more queer spaces for people who don't want to drink, go clubbing, or see/do kink stuff. Give me my boring gays please! (And straights--some of us just like to stay at home, okay Janice?)

Also minors and others need ways to engage with pride. Pride isn't inherently sexual.

Pride can be sexual. Its bullshit to treat everything beside heteronormative heterosexuality as inherently explicit. But also like, please keep it in your pants to the extent we expect everyone to. If anyone needs pride, its isolated and ashamed kids.

Queer is a slur, but as queer people, we're allowed to reclaim it. No one is obligated to. Others reclaiming it does not imply you are obligated to.

Bisexuals exist. We're not fake gays/straights. We need pride.

People are allowed to not "look" like their identity. People are allowed to transition or not. Other people's organs are not your business.

If you're not queer, turn off your gaydar. Radar exists to locate enemies. Friendly ships communicate. My people have echolocation for others of our kind.

Asexuals are a thing. Aromantics are a thing. Just because most can't imagine not being obsessed with romance and sexuality doesn't make it defective. People vary in the amount of romance/sex they want, down to 0. This literally cannot harm you, it is the absence of interest.

Nobody is contractually obligated to stay the same gender/sexuality/presentation/literally anything. People can update what they identify as free of charge. You also can't assume they will.

Ally does not have, nor need a letter, unless you developed an exclusive attraction to people based on their support for LGBTQA+ people.

Stop gatekeeping who needs pride! Even if you are in the community, you are not the gay police. Queer just means not normal and conforming. Whatever way someone doesn't conform, they deserve pride in it.*

P.S. People aren't obligated to only identify with familiar terms either. New words crop up all the time. And you're not expected to know them all! Just to not close your ears when someone speaks.

*except MAPS or whatever the fuck they call themselves, and bestiality

#queer #queer pride #gay #gay pride #lgbtqia #asexual #aromantic #allyship #literally what is the problem?#my rants

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shesthewindandsea · 5 years

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Ace/Aro Acceptance in the LGBT+ Community

Hey kids so recently I read on a blog that I follow that the person running it doesn't accept ace/aros as queer or part of the LGBT community.

They brought up a few points which, coming from a person who is neither ace or aro, (I'm not going to say it's difficult to understand because it's not but) it's different and you need to process and learn about what it's like to not want sex or a romantic relationship. Everything is a learning curve. You won't just realize over night but you should know that aros and aces are queer. It's not a complex thing

I replied and stated my opinion (and forgot to put myself on anon after the first one oh well) but the person didn't post all of my response because it was rather long and she didn't wanna spam which is understandable. However, the main point of my sharing was to reach other people and not necessarily change the person's mind so! I'm just going to post everything on here even if it won't reach as many people. My main point is that aces/aros are queer and belong to the LGBT community. You are loved and supported here and you belong no matter what!!!

*our

About the lack of sexual/romantic desires : you're essentially implying that because you have sexual and/or romantic desires your deserve your seat at the table. Because you have sexual/romantic desires you have proven you can be part of the community, that you are in fact queer. Because I'm biromantic ace, I'm somehow less worthy because of my asexuality but my biromantic identity allows me to say I'm queer. So when I'm explaining myself to people am I or am I not queer? Saying biromantic asexual is a lot more explaining than "I'm queer". You're excluding us because of our sexual and romantic identities because we don't fit your definition. Why are you better than me just because you want sex and I don't? I understand that you said we're valid but it doesn't really feel that way. I don't deserve to be apart of your group because I'm not queer enough.

About societal pressure: I get what you're saying. That ace/aros don't as marginalized or excluded in society. But first of all that's generally because people don't know we exist. Tell me how many characters you know that are confirmed ace/aro? Now tell me how many are gay or bi? Probably more. Representation of the LGBT community is lacking all over the place, no doubt, but ace/aros are probably one of, if not the most underrepresented parts in any form of media aside from gender fluid people. Now, I can assure it more people knew about ace/aros there would be a lot more shit to trudge through because there is so much to go through and help yourself accept about being ace/aro I can't imagine what it would be like if we had more people know we existed. Gays, bis, pans, what have you already get enough for feeling romantic and/or sexual attraction to the opposite gender or more than one. Can you imagine people trying to comprehend the fact that someone doesn't want sex or a romantic relationship with ANYONE. People find it hard to understand and when people are confused they lash out.

Besides that, societal pressure to have be in a relationship and especially to have sex with someone when you DO NOT WANT TO OR FEEL VIOLENTLY UNCOMFORTABLE IS OPPRESSION. Just because the oppression and discrimination I face is different than yours doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

This community is not about having enough queerness or feeling oppressed enough to be able to sit at the table. It's about accepting those who feel rejected because of something we can't control: the people we want and love and that's exactly what you're doing. Aros/aces want and love themselves and don't need other people and that's completely fine and doesn't give you a reason to throw us out to fend for ourselves. As someone who is neither ace or aro, I realize that it can be hard to understand what we go through and I'm not trying to be patronizing. But your ignorance on the matter is causing you to exclude other people from something that gives them a sense of security and comfort. I think you should do some more research or send questions to ace/aro blogs. Make it clear you're not being rude, you just want to learned and understand. I'd be more than happy to answer any questions or talk to you more. I don't know if this will change your mind but I'm here for you.

My last few statements stand for anyone else seeing this post. If you want to ask questions, ask me or find someone you're comfortable asking. The lgbtq community is here to support one another, not to pick who gets to join like it's an exclusive club. We're people are we need support just like everyone else! 🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

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weiwuxian · 2 years

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LITERALLY what wouldnt i do for some good sapphic content like pleaseeee this sea is a desert actually and the ONLY wlw we've had were soljiwan and they barely held hands and had like 5mins screentime max in 50min eps like!! the avenues are endless to eplore sapphics in enemies to lovers, from friends to rivals to havent spoken to each other in ten years to begrudging friendship that brings back the flood of emotions and then some to lovers, where is the good sapphic content the wholesome ones bc sometimes i feel like.. before we get some wholesome sapphic content i am not allowed to ask for the messy raw and broken ones like. i know these are not mutually exclusive i know but it always feels like we arent allowed to ask for anything at all and i dont like to be picky but i dont want them to be abt cheating bc thats such a bad trope can we move away from that already.

sorry for ranting in ur ask, the point i wanted to make is that. i would like for some sapphic love stories please, a whole subgenre maybe. i would like to see women fall in love with each other and maybe even kiss

You're so right!! So right!

I adore soljiwan with all my heart and I'm so thankful we got what we got, but can you imagine if they were the mains of the show? Or even had just half of the screentime the actual mains did? Soljiwan is so big and so important for us, but it's also... not a lot. It's barely the start. Yet we're made to believe it was a big shift in the ecosystem because it's the only thing we have. (Not to take away from it at all, don't get me wrong! My love for soljiwan is in no way diminished by this and I appreciate everyone who worked undoubtedly very hard to make it happen. But the facts remain.)

I definitely agree with you that we need the wholesome content first. Sadly, the people who are looking for any reason to not have any queer content made, will take any "problematic" content and use it against us. But I'm so desperate for a world where we get everything het people have had. I'm tired of either nothingness or cheating storylines or coming out stories. I know there are so many people out there who have great sapphic stories they want to tell and they're just not allowed to. We definitely need to stand by them and appreciate the little things they're able to give us for now! but we also need to not settle and to not diminish their struggle by claiming wlws have it "easier" than others, when it's most assuredly not the case.

SK bls are short and separate from the more mainstream SK tv, but they exist. They don't have 16 hour-long episodes yet, but they are something. And quite a few of them are something good! ("To my star" my beloved <3). Wlws don't have that yet, so let us not pretend otherwise. The existence of soljiwan in a "regular" kdrama is not more representation than the existence of multiple bls and queercoded mlm relationships in other dramas.

#focusing on sk tv because that's what the original post was about #asks #anon #sorry if any of this doesn't make sense #i'm a bit incensed over this right now lmao

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