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delfiore · 1 year

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—THE GHOST YOU LEFT BEHIND.

pairing: zoya nazyalensky x fem!heartrender!reader

synopsis: a painful past between you and zoya comes to light when you are sent on an intel mission on behalf of the king.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: men being gross, a mild spoiler for the SoC book (?) idk i found the info on the wiki

a/n: hahAA 4k. shadow and bone has consumed my life and so has sujaya dasgupta ok thank you goodnight.

You looked down at the map strewn in front of you, a small smile creeping its way onto your lips. You didn’t look up, but you could imagine the fury on Zoya’s face.

“If I may, moi tsar—“

“I have made my decision, General,” Nikolai interjected, “you are my best fighter, and well, Y/N can be quite persuasive. I trust that you two would make an excellent team.”

For the glory of Ravka.

Finally, your eyes found her across the table. Her jaw was tight and her eyes hard as she looked back at you. “We depart at dawn,” she said, regal and in the manner of a good soldier, and left the room.

“Something humorous, sister?”

You shook your head, but the grin remained. “Now I think you’re just doing it for the hell of it.”

“I need all the information I can gather about jurda parem,” your half-brother reasoned, “and my advisor and general to not be at each other’s throats every time they enter the same room.”

“And your solution is to send them away alone with each other?” You scoffed.

“Precisely.” Nikolai nodded, with the same shit-eating grin. “I expect you back in a fortnight’s time with useful intel.”

By the time the sun was above you the next day, you and Zoya had been on horseback for hours outside Os Alta. Unsurprisingly, in complete silence.

You breathed in deeply. “Well, isn’t this lovely?”

“No.”

“A thrilling adventure back to my motherland,” you continued much to Zoya’s dismay, “almost like that time when we went to seek out the Crows. Just thinking about those Shu dumplings at the market makes my mouth water.”

Her silence was poisonous, and you felt the poison seep into your bones. The horses huffed as they trotted leisurely side-by-side on the dirt path.

“You know, we are going to be together for the next fortnight. Are you really going to do this without saying a word?”

“I am,” she said adamantly, “unless you’d like a punch to the jaw for breakfast, I suggest you shut it.”

“Speaking of breakfast, I am famished.” You looked down at your stomach delicately. “Perhaps we should stop. There should be a tavern in a couple of miles.”

To your surprise, Zoya let you stop at the tavern for some food, but not before she gave you a look that made you reconsider everything you’ve ever said around her. You were in the middle of devouring bacon and eggs, when you heard a scoff coming from her on the opposite end of the table.

“You eat like an animal,” she said, grimacing.

“Sorry that my table etiquette isn’t to your liking. I’ve learned to appreciate food having lived at sea where sustenance is never certain.”

“Why’d you pick it then? You were royalty.”

You huffed. “Not exactly. My status at court depended entirely on how my father, the King, felt about his illegitimate child that day. And that, in it itself, was fragile. But you knew that.”

Zoya shifted uncomfortably. You knew you had touched on a sore subject, but it was the most you had exchanged with her since returning home with Nikolai. All the spats and arguments left you little room to fill her in on all your adventures as you’d hoped. You wrote countless letters addresses to her, but you never received a response, so you’d only assumed that your words on paper had been reduced to ash by now.

“I’ll have you know I got the money for it. You just got to tell me where.”

“I’ll sell it to ya when I make sure I’ve got more coming in from Koba. The Crown’s maximizing security at the borders so it might take a while.”

“Are you listening?” You looked up at her, whispering quietly, so as not to alarm the men at the next table.

She nodded wordlessly.

“Thought the Fold being gone would make it easier, instead it’s just another useless king waving his magic wand around like a little prick.”

“Name the man. I’ll have my men do business with him.”

There was a stiff silence. Her hand fiddled with the napkin anxiously as she waited for the response.

A heavy fist slammed down on the table next to your plate, and the rugged men had surrounded your table.

“Got a couple of eavesdroppers, haven’t we?” One of the sneered.

“Oy, give us a bit of fun and maybe we’ll let you off,” another put his foot on the chair in which Zoya sat, and stroked her face greedily. “I’ll take this one.”

You could see the desperation in her eyes, begging you not to fight back. So, you held your tongue. You knew you couldn’t reveal the status of your being here. It was the reason why you and her dressed in plain clothes, and not your kefta.

“We’re just passersby, boys. Not looking for any trouble,” Zoya said sweetly, but you could tell that she was fuming too.

“C’mon, sweetling. No harm in a little fun, eh?”

You hated the way that prick was hovering over Zoya, it made you see red. In a quick motion, you whipped your head back against one of them, effectively breaking his nose with a loud crunch. With the other that stood beside you gawking, you pulled on his heart, until you could feel it squeezing in your hand, and he fell to the flooring, arresting.

The tavern once animated quickly fell silent, and the only sound left was the brawl that you found yourself in. Needless to say, a bunch of otkazat’sya were no match for two Grisha. But it was only you using your powers. Zoya had knocked down two of the men with her bare hands.

You found the informant amidst the brawl, now battered with blood on his face, and held him by the collar. “Tell me who the seller is and where I can find him.”

When the man refused to answer, you gritted your teeth, and pulled the air from his lungs.

“Fine! Fine! I’ll tell you!” He gasped. “Yuri Enkhbaatar, in Koba. Please, let me go.”

You nodded, satisfied, and punched him in the face, rendering him unconscious.

“Grisha scum!” One of them shouted as they all ran out of the tavern with their tails between their legs.

You took a moment to catch your breath. When you looked down at your hands, they were shaking and your right was bloody at the knuckles. The silver ring on your middle finger, fortunately, was still intact.

“It’s fine,” you said to Zoya, seeing her look at your wound with apprehension.

The sound of the horses neighing alarmed you. "No," you whispered and set off to chase the men, only to see them galloping away with one of your horses. You quickly ran after them, but they had rounded the corner and descended the hill, away from your immediate eyesight.

You let out an angry yell, just as Zoya caught up to you.

"Well done," she said sarcastically, a grin on her face.

"Save it," you grumbled under your breath, and keep walking in the direction you were supposed to go.

You heard Zoya's horse trot behind you, and you turned around in an attempt to counter whatever teasing comment she was going to throw at you. "Hop on," she said.

It took you a second to realize what she meant, frankly because you didn't think she'd be that hospitable. It might have been a different story if it was her horse that had been taken. You never liked being around an angry Zoya; a simmering Zoya was enough of a headache.

"You do realize that this means I'm going to be very close to you for the rest of our journey?"

"I'd rather that than have to wait for you every few paces," Zoya said, extending a hand to you. "Go on, we don't have all day. And if you keep babbling, you will walk.”

You took a deep breath before pulling yourself upwards; now you were very close to her. You thought the years of being apart would extinguish that bubbling feeling you get whenever you were around her, but here you were, trying your best to keep calm, as your legs wrapped around her. Thank the Saints she wasn’t a Heartrender.

“I’d say this is quite nice—“

“No.”

You sighed. It was going to be a very long ride to Koba.

On the fifth night, you arrived at the city. The sun had long disappeared behind the mountains, and the city lights could be seen from miles away.

“We should probably find our accommodation before doing anything,” Zoya said, “we might be here for a bit.”

You found a cheap inn in a small alley near the market. If you weren’t on a mission for the king, you’d almost see it as a much-needed vacation. You knew Zoya was exhausted by the way her eyes were barely open she waited for the innkeeper to assign you your room. She grabbed the keys as soon as it left the woman’s hand and went upstairs.

“All the Saints above in good Heaven,” you heard her exclaim as you peered inside.

“What?” You said. There was one single bed in the middle of an otherwise quite spacious room.

“It’s alright. You catch some sleep.” You said, sensing her annoyance. “I’ll go into the night market—“

She didn’t let you finish your sentence before throwing her day-bag somewhere on the floor and collapsing onto the bed, her limbs sprawled out across the entire width.

“—For a bit,” you said quietly, and closed the door behind you in the hallway, a small grin on your face at the unusual display of fatigue.

When you returned about an hour later, she was already in a deep sleep, but still in her riding clothes. Careful so as not to wake her, you pulled the cover from underneath her, earning an annoyed murmur from the girl, and throwing it over her body.

The commotion from the market had faded out the moment you stepped into your shared room. The quietness, not silence, that enshrouded the room, became loud. Your mind became loud as you thought about the past. Your past with Zoya.

You began to hear her voice, her young laughter as she chased you down the hall at the Little Palace, effectively putting many servants in charge of your wellbeing in distress. You despised your so-called family, the only one you liked was Nikolai, but things got better because you had your best friend, Zoya, the new Squaller that came from Novokribirsk.

You found her crying alone one day in a hidden part of the courtyard, when she was supposed to be training with Botkin. She had come only a few days before, and she was missing home.

“I’ll be your friend,” you remember saying to her, “that way you’re not alone anymore.” The pair of you were nine.

You sat by the side of the bed, resting your head against it, watching her sleep. She had every right to hate you, you knew that, but it hurt a lot. It hurt because you had promised yourselves to each other in the form of two silver rings. You didn’t understand the magnitude of that promise then, but you did now; Zoya Nazyalensky was your first love.

“I’m sorry,” you murmured, but you knew she couldn’t hear. Quickly, you placed your hands above your chest to slow your racing heart, and keep the tears at bay. Once calmed, you settled back against the side of the bed, listening to the other steady heartbeat in the room as you succumbed to sleep.

Ten years old. You pushed down on the door handle quietly, being careful not to wake the other girls in the room. It was way past your bedtime, and you knew you would have to sneak back into your own room before the sun rises. In the dark, you made your way to where you knew was Zoya’s bunk. She was fast asleep, facing away from you.

“Zoyaaaa,” you shook her softly. The raven-haired girl turned around, and rubbed her eyes.

“I can’t sleep,” you whispered.

Wordlessly, she moved over, albeit barely as her bed was tiny, and you happily got under the cover with when as she pulled you closer.

“What are you ever going to do without me?” Zoya whispered back.

In the pale moonlight, your best friend looked like the entire universe. “I’d just never sleep.”

“Y/N. Y/N, wake up!”

You jolted awake, feeling the weight of reality crash down against your heavy eyelids.

Zoya was hovering above you, furrowing her eyebrows at the snorting noise you made when you woke up.

“Look,” she said, pointing out the window.

You rubbed your eyes and squinted subconsciously at the bright light that penetrated the room. Deep into the alley, a space opened up to what appeared to be a tea shop, and there sat two of the men you encountered at the tavern in Ravka.

“Shit,” you grumbled.

Next to them was another man, the front half of his head was shaved, the back of it skirted down his back in a long braid. He had Shu features, Enkhbaatar.

“There’s our man,” Zoya said.

You lunged towards the door when she pulled in your sleeve. “What are you going to do?”

“Stopping those bastards from importing the drug into our country.”

“By doing what? Asking them nicely?” Zoya hissed. “Y/N, we’ve already directed enough attention to ourselves the other day. We’re not in Ravka anymore, we don’t have the same kind of protection here. If they find out what we are—“

“They kill us, I know.”

She nodded firmly. “So, I have a plan.”

Zoya was good at many things, a good Squaller, a loyal soldier, a resolute decision-maker. It led you to believe that her plan might just work, it checked out in your head. You got the name, Bo Yul-Bayur. But then, you found yourself chasing after Yuri Enkhbaatar down many winding alleys, until you stopped at what seemed to be a brothel and his goons looked like they were about to swallow you alive. Turns out the men that you had beaten up at the tavern alarmed him of two Grisha nobles looking for jurda parem.

“Kill them!” He shouted to them in Shu.

“We just want to talk, Yuri!” You held your hands up in defense.

“I don’t talk to Ravkans, most of all Grisha!”

“But you’re not human, are you? You’re Grisha too.” You laughed, albeit carefully. “You’re a Fabrikator, an Alkemi.”

The look on his face shifted, as he scanned his men.

“Let us go, and you will have protection in Ravka from the King himself until we arrest Bo and bring him to justice,” Zoya prodded.

“I don’t need protection from your boy king,” Yuri growled. “Tell me, will your Saints be there to watch over you in the afterlife?”

The men charged, and all you knew was to defend Zoya from their blades. But there were too many of them. You were getting overwhelmed by the others as you try to subdue one. Men piled on top of one other trying to fight you, and there was a moment when you thought you wouldn’t get out.

It would be poetic, you thought, dying with your best friend, and your first love. Word would reach your brother of your failure, and he would do with it as he willed, but you would be here with Zoya, and you would be alone together.

Through the chaos, you spotted Yuri fleeing the scene. He really meant to kill you. You looked over to Zoya, seeing her struggling to fight three men at once. One of them, in her blind spot, with a gleaming sword in hand sliced her arm and she reacted with a painful yelp.

“Zoya!” You yelled. The added strength of seeing her in pain allowed you to stop two of the men’s hearts at once, something you’ve never done before, as they instantly dropped like flies to your feet.

You sensed an opening in the disorientation, and quickly grabbed Zoya to make a run for it. You hid in another small alley under ropes of aired out laundry for added concealment, as you attempted to catch your breath.

Zoya’s sleeve, once royal blue, was now stained with a dark red where the open wound was. It looked deep, and she was trying her best not to let the blood mark your whereabouts on the ground. She clutched it poorly in an attempt to stop the bleeding, but her face turned pale as she looked closer to fainting.

Quickly, you tore a piece at the end of your garment off to wrap it around her arm. “Keep pressure,” you said, but she turned away and refused to meet your eyes.

“I don’t need your pity, Y/L/N.”

“Pity?” You scoffed incredulously. “Zoya, you’re bleeding out!”

“Don’t pretend like you care about me now!” You knew it was her pride talking. Years of being the perfect soldier—alone—has hardened her, and having her plans fail so spectacularly. “I’ve survived worse. I took a bullet to the leg, an arrow to the shoulder. This is nothing.”

“Zoya, please let me just—“

“And you weren’t there!” You saw your own reflection in her glossy eyes, like a crosshair, like a wanted poster. You saw yourself in her disappointment.

“I left because—“ your voice was breaking, “I left because I couldn’t stand it anymore. My . . . family, never saw me as anything more than a bastard child! I felt like I didn’t have a family. I was on my own.”

Zoya laughed bitterly, sniffling her tears. From the wall she was slumping against, she took a step towards you, her eyes burned with contempt. “I was your family, Y/N, and you left without even saying goodbye.”

“I’m sorry.” Your eyes were wet. You balled your fists, your right hand fiddling with your ring. “I loved you.”

“There was a time where I would have said it back to you,” she said, her voice wavering, “but that time is long gone.”

With that, she left, no doubt to find her way back to the inn, but you didn’t bother trying to show your face for at least until that evening.

Nikolai heartily welcomed your return. He had worried for your safety when word got back about the tussle at the tavern.

"Well done, Y/N. I never doubted your abilities."

"Truly, it was Zoya that came up with the plan to catch Yul-Bayur," your voice trailed off, and you shrugged.

Sensing your discomfort, your brother came to your side by the table. "You talked, then?"

"If by 'talk' you mean we screamed in each other's faces, then yes," you sighed, your last verbal interaction fresh on your mind. “The only times I regret leaving with you are when I think about her.”

Your brother understood not to make his thoughts known, but to be your comfort when he pulled you into his chest.

The way Zoya handles her emotional baggage was never something she was proud of. Her confrontation with you in Shu Han had dug up a lot of things she wished she had forgotten about. She had promised herself to never let anyone in as much as she did you, and it scared her how easily still you got under her skin, even now.

So she figured the best way to deal with you was to pretend you never existed at all. The only times she would see you were at dinner and training anyway, but she never bat you an eye. She wanted you to know what it felt like to be left behind.

“Lady Y/N asked about you,” Genya told her, “asked how your arm is doing.”

“‘S fine.” Zoya answered courtly.

In the little time Genya Safin had the privilege of knowing Zoya, she knew the girl could be difficult to talk to. However, it never deterred her from trying.

“Why do you deprive yourself so? You know you still care about her.”

“It’s none of your business, Safin.”

“It is. It’s everyone’s business, Zoya, when you both have been lathering those longing, melancholic looks at each other all over our faces! You don’t think the other notices when you look at each other, but Saints it is so blatant that it makes me nauseous.”

Zoya didn’t reply, but opted to observe some younger Grisha mucking about during their breaks from training.

“And what about those letters? Why’d you keep them then? For decoration?”

“I—I don’t know.” She must have read every single one of your letters at least ten times, each time hanging onto every word. She would find herself smiling as some of the stories you tell her, but quickly catch herself slipping. There would be three to four letters every few months, then the numbers dwindled until she had to get used to not receiving any at all. Five months later, you returned.

“General,” a guard made himself known to the women. “His Majesty requests your presence in the council chamber.”

To her utmost dismay, you were there too, along with Tolya and Tamar. She let herself settle by the table, ignoring the burning gaze you were directing at her.

“You called for me, moi tsar?”

“Yes, I was hoping to get your input on how we shall proceed with Yuri Enkhbaatar, and subsequently Bo Yul-Bayar.” The King leaned on the edge of the table. “You were face-to-face with Enkhbaatar, what do you think?”

She let herself glance over at you for a split second, seeing you already looking at back at her with a crestfallen look. Straightening back up at the King, she answered, “We may need some time before we are able to get to Yul-Bayar. With him hiding out in Kerch, the only thing we may do is issue a bounty for him. Might I suggest our . . . friends in Ketterdam?”

By the time the meeting was over, Zoya used her best effort to leave the room as quick as possible, but, as if you had known she was going to, you caught her in the hallway.

“Zoya,” you said. There was a hesitant pause. “I was hoping to talk to you.”

“I don’t want to talk,” she spoke calmly, almost too much so. You winced at her aloofness.

“Please, I don’t expect you to forgive me. I just want you to know that I’m sorry, and that I thought about you every day when I was gone. You must believe me.” You clung onto her sleeve with a desperate look. Zoya almost faltered at the glossiness that been to form in your eyes, you looked so defeated.

“I still think about you,” you confessed quietly, “you are all I think about.”

Your confession hung in the air like a puff of smoke, one that she wished she could condensed into a ball and throw away. There were other things that should be said after, but if she said them, her beating heart was going to jump out of her mouth into her hands for you see. There was a time when she wouldn’t have been afraid to let you see. Parts of her wanted to return to it.

“Th-That’s it,” you mumbled quietly, but something shifted in your eyes. You avoided her eyes and visibly deflated.

Zoya watched you floated down the hallway like a ghost, regretting choosing silence.

That night you couldn’t sleep. Tossing and turning in bed, you let your last conversation with Zoya played out in your head. You didn’t know what she was thinking, you used to be able to read her like a book. There were very little expressions on her face to indicate any emotion, and yet her heart was pounding in your ears like a scared prey.

One can wear as many faces as one needs, but the heart will always want what it wants.

You kicked off your covers, and quietly opened the main doors to your room. There was not a single sound in the hallway, the Castle had gone to sleep long before that. You had learned where everything was now located in your absence, and you stopped in front of a room right by the stairs leading down to the main atrium.

She opened the door, and didn’t bother to hiding the surprise on her face. “Y/N,” she called your name.

You gulped, and let yourself run your eyes across her features. Her face was bare, free of cosmetics, her hair was dark as the night and cascaded freely down her shoulders.

“I can’t sleep,” you said, smiling sadly.

There it was. You saw the walls cracking, and finally tumbling down. Her lips quivered as she stifled a small sob. She had been pretending so hard, and it all cane tumbling down.

Wordlessly, she pulled you into her room, her hands finding their ways to the nape of your neck. You let her cry against your forehead, as your fingers found the wound on her arm that has now closed.

“I’m so tired of pretending.” Zoya said.

“Then stop,” you shook your head lightly. “I’m never leaving again.”

You let her push you back towards her bed where you sat by the edge, as she slowly guided you onto your back, raven curtains divided her face from everything else. You let your hands roam free, all night, for a thousand nights.

#zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyalensky imagine #zoya nazyalensky shadow and bone #shadow and bone #zoya x reader #genya safin #nikolai lantsov

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maximoffgxrl · 1 year

Text

May I have this dance? {Zoya Nazyalensy}

Pairing: Zoya x fem!reader

Summary: Reader is not feeling well. Everything seems grey and overwhelming and she can't take it anymore, but she keeps hiding in corners and faking smiles so no one notices it. But Zoya notices. She always do.

Note: hi!!! this isn't a request, it's just something i had in mind and finally decided to write, but i'm already working on the requests that were sent! i hope you guys like it <3

You were tired. You had started your day early, slipping into your blue kefta and leaving your room to train along with the other Squallers. You followed your routine quietly and without talking to anyone, but your collegues didn't really care, after all, it was y/n and she was always quiet, your shy personality being well known in the Little Palace.

During lunch, you ate fast and silently, being done and out of the room before most of the grisha even arrived. You didn't want to risk running into Genya, the closest thing to a friend you had here, because you knew the Tailor would know something's wrong.

The afternoon was filled with more training, since studying was your way of occupying your mind. You always were a brilliant student, being fluent in multiple languages and one of the best Etherealki in the Little Palace, and you took refuge on those terms. It was easy for you, simple, and that was all you needed right now.

But you were pushing yourself too much lately, trying to occupy your thoughts all the time so you wouldn't think about all the things you couldn't control, and that came with a price. When the night came, you had a massive headache and sore limbs, so you decided to skip dinner and head straight to your room.

It wasn't really a problem, no one would notice your absence the same way no one noticed the many times your eyes filled with tears during the day. You didn't really care about the lack of friends in your life, it was just another one of the things you were terrible at: connecting with people. There was nothing to be done, just accept it, but it still hurt when you thought that nobody cared about you.

So you went to your room and took a long shower. With your hair still wet you put on a robe and sat by the mirror, staring blankly at your own empty eyes. You didn't know how things had gone this way, you used to be a happy kid - rosy cheeks, jumping around and smiling - but now you just feel sad and it's overwhelming.

Your mind seemed to never slow down, a hundred thoughts per minute, and sometimes you just couldn't breathe. Your chest tightening up, your hands shaking and tears streaming down your face. You were tired, hopeless and lonely, and it was killing you slowly.

With tears in your eyes, you just hung your head and cried, shoulders shaking with sobs, your hair falling around your face. You didn't know how long you stayed like this, only opening your eyes when you felt a hand on your back, stroking it lightly and letting you know that someone else was there.

Thinking it was Genya, you lift your head just to meet an all too familiar pair of blue eyes. Zoya Nazyalensky. Her hand immediately left you body and you tried to hide the surprise in your eyes, but knew it was pointless, Zoya was always able to know exactly what you were thinking, and by the look on her face, she still could.

You had been in the Little Palace for only two weeks when Zoya arrived. You actually saw her, dressed in golden and with dirt on her face, and felt a strange pull towards that little girl looking back at someone you couldn't see. And, lucky for you, she saw you too. It was the first time those blue eyes landed on you, and you felt safe under her watch, comfortable.

So, when one of the older grisha knocked on your door later and asked if you could give the new Squaller a tour, you nodded happily before jumping out of bed, smilling at the girl who eyed you skeptically. You didn't know why they were asking you of all people to help her, you could barely find your own way to your classes, but you wouldn't complain, being curious about the blue-eyed girl the whole day.

For the 9 years old you, being the girl they picked to show Zoya around was destiny, something magic and irreversible. Now, you think it was because the older Squaller saw the possibility of you two being friends since you both arrived at the same time and were the same age. That way you could help each other with the Small Science and develop your studies together.

However, everything was still magic when you were a kid, and you decided in that moment that Zoya was meant to be your friend. You talked a lot while showing her all of the Little Palace and, even though she wouldn't answer all of your questions and kept staring at you with cold eyes, you just smiled, and that seemed to surprise her for only a second before she averted her eyes.

It wasn't easy, but Zoya eventually gave up the cold stares and let you follow her around, rolling her eyes at you excited chattering, but answering anyway and even smilling at you sometimes, when no one was watching, and that was more than enough for you. The two of you were together constantly, and after about a year of this strange relationship, Zoya finally called you a friend.

She wasn't as open as you are, but she would confide you some of her secrets. Zoya didn't like to be seen as weak, and she made sure everybody in the Little Palace knew how powerfull she was, but when she was afraid of her past and scared of being alone, she would hold your hand. She didn't need to say anything and neither did you, your presence being enough to bring her comfort. The lack of words also made her feel like she was still in control, like that simple exchange was nothing, and you were fine with that. You were fine with her.

The years passed and you grew. Zoya was the most beautiful person you've ever met, and also the scariest, but you knew better than to be pushed away by her scowl and harsh words. You didn't mind being in the receiving end of it because you knew she didn't mean to be mean, at least not with you, and she was grateful for that.

However, somewhere about 5 months past you 15 birthday, things changed completely. Zoya started to shut you down. She wouldn't go to your room anymore, and she never started conversations. She listened impatiently when you came to her, and tended to interrumpt you saying she had somewhere else to be. No more holding hands, no more smiles, no more chattering. She was getting more distant every day, and you found yourself helpless. There was nothing to be done, and you had to watch her go and become a stranger to you.

So, to say you were surprised she was staring at you right now was an understatement. You got up quickly, tightening your robe around your body and staring at her with the calmest expression you could.

- Uhm... Hi. - you said simply, pretending your eyes weren't red and puffy and hoping she would do the same. - Do you need something?

- I came to talk to you. - she said. No greeting, her eyes no longer in yours. You just sighed. It was probably for the best.

- About what? - you asked, running a hand through you hair, beggining to worry. - Did I do something wrong? Am I missing something in my classes?

She laughed dryly and you arched your brows, confused. You didn't know what else could be the topic of this conversation. Of course, you knew Zoya was close to The Darkling, but he already had the best Squaller with him, there was no reason for him to come to you.

- No, Y/N, you didn't do anything wrong. - she replied honestly, increasing you confusion. Reluctantly, she continued. - I was worried.

- About what? - you repeated, your brain apparently malfunctioning due to her presence. - Is it something I can help?

She sighed, taking a step in your direction. She lift her hand and it looked like she was reaching for yours, but she just tossed her hair over her shoulders, closing her eyes for a second before staring directly at you.

- About you. - she said simply, as if it was nothing, but you could see how tiff her body was.

It was your time to chuckle humorlessly.

- About me? - you arched your brows, crossing your arms over your chest, the anguish in your heart slowly being replaced with anger. - Funny. Where was this worry for the past two years, Zoya?

- Y/N, please... - she started, but you interrupt, not being able to contain yourself.

- No, I'm curious. Where was this worry when you just vanished from my life? When you decided that our friendship wasn't worth the effort anymore? When you walked away without even giving me am explanation? - you nearly screamed, tears treatening to leave your eyes. - You didn't worry back then. So why would you now?

- It's not like this. - Zoya said firmly, her cold expression giving place to an almost hurt look. - I didn't... I never said our friendship wasn't worth it.

- You didn't need to say it when you left me for no reason. - your voice mas trembeling, but you just could't stop yourself from saying what was stuck inside your heart for so long, tears already streaming down your face. - You were everything I had. My only friend, the only one I trusted in this place... Saints, you were family to me. When you started to act like I didn't exist, I felt my heart break in ways I didn't even know were possible. I loved you so much, Zoya, I would've done anything for you, but you just left me.

- I never meant to hurt you, Y/N. - she started again and for the first time in almost two years, you saw her armor fall at least a little bit. She sighed deeply and all you could see in her eyes was the 10 years old girl who was once your best friend. It was enough to make your heart ache for her, to make you listen. - I also never wanted to leave. You were the only person in this whole place who made me feel comfortable and loved. You weren't trying to change me, to find the adorable girl beneath my cold exterior. You didn't wanna be the one to tame me, you just wanted to be with me and love me despite all my flaws. You were truthfull and kind and loving and sweet, never asking for too much and yet so ready to give me everything. I loved you more than anything.

You were at a loss of words. You've spent so many time wondering what have gone wrong, repeating every interaction you both had in your head just so you could try to understand what you've done to make her go away, and now you were just so confused. If she loved you so much, why did she left?

- Then what went wrong? - your voice was almost a whisper when you spoke, almost dissapearing in the already quiet room. - Why did you left?

- Because that was exactly the problem. - the words left her mouth with so much sadness that all you wanted to do was hold her, but you just stood there, watching her. - I loved you so much, Y/N, I would do anything for you and I had never felt that way before. It was new and it was terrifying. You were gentle and sweet and I was not. I just... I wasn't the girl for you, I couldn't be what you needed and the idea of you realizing that and leaving me was haunting me. I was scared and i decided to leave before I get left. I was so terrified of losing you that I ruined everything we had by myself, and I'm sorry.

- You should have talked to me. - you said, your anger starting to built. - It's not up to you to decide what I need or what's good enough for me.

- I know that, I just... I was scared, Y/N, and I was a coward. Saints, I still am. - she said sheepishly. - It was selfish and wrong, but it was easier for me to walk away from the situation with some sort of control. And after that, I watched as your faded away in the crowd. You used to be so bright and I barely saw you smile anymore, and I knew it was my fault. I was too embarassed to come after you after being a jerk, and that's on me too. I should've been a better friend. I should've been better for you, and I'm sorry.

She finished her sentence looking at the ground, and you were speechless. You could understand why she did what she did and, after all, the two of you were only fifteen when all of this happened, too young and with too many responsabilities. You just didn't understand why she decided to tell you all of this now.

- Look, Zoya, I get it. - you finally said after a few moments of silence. - You were young and scared and you ran. Yes, it was wrong and you should've just talked to me instead, but I don't want to hold a grudge over this. You hurt me and you said you're sorry, and it's ok. I just don't understand why you came to me now.

- I told you, I was worried. - she said simply, lifting her head so she could look you in the eyes. - I see you, Y/N. I never stopped looking after you, I was just doing it from a distance. And this past few weeks... I know something's going on. You don't have to talk to me or explain yourself and I know I don't deserve your trust after two years of nothing, but I just... I couldn't watch you suffer from afar anymore, even if it meant I had to face what I did and explain everything to you. I should've done it sooner, and I'm sorry, but I'm here now, for anything you need.

You looked at Zoya, the fearless and feared Zoya, standing in front of you with teary eyes, no armor, no secrets and no excuses. You were feeling so many thing at the same time that you didn't know where to begin, but you knew you missed her. Even with all the sadness, anger and betrayal you felt, you missed her more than everything.

- You're ridiculous, you know? - you said while tears streamed down your face, taking a step in her direction. - Ridiculous and prideful and really stupid, but I love you and I missed you, so I would really like if you just shut up and hugged me.

A little smile showed up in her face before she wrapped you in her arms, your head resting on her shoulder just like you always did when the two of you were younger. Your body still fit right into hers, it was familiar and warm, and for the first time in a long way, you felt like you belong. You weren't alone anymore.

- I missed holding you so much. - she whispered, her chin resting on the top of your head, one of her hands caressing your hair softly. - I'm sorry it took me so long to come back, I really am.

- You can stop apologizing now, but if you ever leave me again, I will summon lightning just to stop your heart. - you said, your voice muffled by her skin.

- Oh, sweetheart, I will never leave you again. And I won't stop apologizing either. In fact, I have a lot of ideas on how I can make it up to you. - she said and you knew she was smiling.

- I'm only interested in it if by that you meant a lot of candy. - you said, finally breaking the hug to look her in the eye again.

- I can definetely get you candy, but that's not what I had in mind. - she said, her eyes shining with excitement as she took a step back, taking your hand in hers. - May I have this dance, Y/N/N?

You couldn't help but smile. When the two of you were younger and couldn't attend the balls the older grisha were invited too, you used to stay in the hallway where you could listen to the music they were playing and ask Zoya at least a thousand times to dance with you. It warmed your heart that she remembered.

- There's no music. - you answered, but your arms were already wrapped in her neck.

- We don't need it. - she said, pulling you close by the waist and making you giggle.

- You're right. - your voice was soft and calm, the tears you cried early already in the past. - I have all I need right here.

Zoya blushed and you smiled as she twirled you around your room, your laugh being the only music the two of you listened to, and for that moment, you forgot all about your loneliness and your pain. You were filled with love and joy, and you knew it wouldn't last forever, but at least you weren't alone. Facing the bad things with someone by your side was easier, and when Zoya hugged your waist firmly and kissed your cheek, you couldn't think of a problem the two of you couldn't solve.

You were home now, and nothing would ruin that.

#grishaverse imagines #grishaverse x reader #zoya nazyalensky imagines #zoya x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyalensky oneshot #grishaverse #grishaverse zoya #zoya imagine #zoya oneshot #shadow and bone imagines #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #grishaverse zoya imagine #grishaverse zoya x reader

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zoyaofthegardvn · 7 months

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Kinktober 2023 Masterlist

Hi everyone! Welcome to Zoyaofthegardvn's 2023 Kinktober masterlist :) I'm getting a pretty late start to this, so this will surely extend past October. But here's what you can look forward to this year... <3

Links will be added as they are written and posted :)

Day 1 - Face Sitting: Mor x reader

Day 2 - Spanking: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 3 - Praise: Zoya Nazyalensky x reader

Day 4 - Somnophilia: Nesta Archeron x reader

Day 5 - Brat Taming: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 6 - Overstimulation: Nesta Archeron x reader

Day 7 - Thigh Riding: Elide Lochan x reader

Day 8 - Pussy Eating: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 9 - Virginity: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 10 - Mommy Kink: Mor x reader

Day 11 - Edging: Nesta Archeron x reader

Day 12 - Make Up Sex: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 13 - Anal: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 14 - Toys: Elide Lochan x reader

Day 15 - Brat Taming: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 16 - Hate Sex: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 17 - Double Penetration: Zoya Nazyalensky x reader x Alina Starkov

Day 18 - Strap on: Zoya Nazyalensky x reader

Day 19 - Knife Play: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 20 - Shower Sex: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 21 - Scissoring: Alina Starkov x reader

Day 22 - 69'ing: Mor x reader

Day 23 - Semi-Public: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 24 - Period Sex: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 25 - Threesome: Manon Blackbeak x reader x Elide Lochan

Day 26 - Bondage: Mor x reader

Day 27 - Choking: Nesta Archeron x reader

Day 28 - Exhibitionism/Voyeurism: Manon Blackbeak x reader

Day 29 - Virginity: Elain Archeron x reader

Day 30 - Breast Worship: Elide Lochan x reader

Day 31 - Outdoor Sex: Zoya Nazyalensky x reader

Please be patient as I make my way through this very long list! I'm really looking forward to getting started, but I am a slow writer <3 I am also imagining these fics will be on the short side as I'd like to be able to get through everything! Thanks everyone for your enthusiasm :)

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naddybln · 1 year

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Headcanons Grishaverse x reader

- the darkling took you from your parents when you were just about a year old

- you showed your powers early and your parents were afraid of you, just like the rest of your hometown

- growing up in the little palace was fun, everybody loves you

- having lessons with Bagrah were hard but effective

- Bagrah and Aleksander proteticing you at all costs

- Ivan and Fedyor are your male best friends, you are close to them and train with them

- Ivan cracking a smile around you

- Zoya is a little jealous because of your relationship with the Darkling

- she likes you nevertheless

- Genya and you are really close, wanting to spend time with her as often as possible

- trying to encourage her about David

- you offered her to kill the king, she denied it cuz you would get into a lot of trouble

- you visit David from time to time

- him explaining his new inventions

- you got hurt during training once and Aleksander went furious

- threatening everyone around him

- you needing to calm him down and ensure him it was an accident

- him not leaving your side for the first few days

- Genya taking care of you if she has the time

- Zoya might have thought the other Grisha who hurt you a lesson

- Ivan and Fedyor checking in on you multiple times a day and bringing you sweets

- Once you're healthy again you continue your training but this time everyone around you is carful not to hurt you (more like afraid of Zoya and Aleksander)

#grishaverse #zoya nazyanelsky #david kostyk #genya safin #aleksander morozova #ivan braginsky #fedyor kaminsky #× reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone x reader #aleksander morozova x reader #genya safin x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #aleksander kirigan #grishaverse headcanons

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amsgrey · 1 year

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Smitten

Zoya Nazyalensky x Fem!Grisha!Reader

I am such a Zoya simp I love her so much. I wrote this in like an hour, so it's not that good but I just needed to write for my queen.

Synopsis: You return to the little Palace after the Civil War. You find you aren't the only one who came back for Ravka.

Warnings: not at all proofread or edited, some spoilers for sab s2 obvi, show!Zoya bc I haven't read the king of scars duology yet, kind of ooc Zoya bc I'm trying to learn how to get her right, reader and Zoya being smitten and Genya making fun of them, not really any good plot lol.

You had come to the little palace when you were 8, your father bringing you from your village at the border with Frejda. He worried that the Frejdan raids would get you killed, especially after he realized you were Grisha. The day he said goodbye to you was the last day you saw him, leaving you in the big world with no family. That quickly changed when you became friends with another Grisha your age, a squaller with strong powers and an even stronger will.

You two grew up together, getting closer and closer. You even went on missions together in The Wandering Isle. That changed when General Kirigan found the Sun summoner and Ravka became unstable. You had been stationed in Kerch, working to recruit Grisha and free Grisha slaves. After news of the Darkling's attack, you stayed and found a place to live hiding away from the Civil War that raged back home. You only returned after Tsar Nikolai's coronation, bringing Grisha you freed in Kerch.

Walking into the Little Palace after years away, you felt a strange feeling of wistfulness. You used to love walking the grounds of the little palace, often with Zoya or Nina, enjoying the nativity of childhood.

Standing on the steps leading into the Little Palace was Genya Saffin, neatly dressed in a pale gold Kefta. Once, she would be in a bright Red kefta to show her station as Corparlki, but now every Grisha wore the same Gold Kefta. Gold being the colour of the Ravkan Crown. She looked radiant, but you always thought that.

"Y/N," Genya greeted as you approached, "It's nice to see you again."

You smiled, reaching out and pulling her into a hug, "I've missed you."

Genya grinned, standing beside you as you looked out over the grounds. Grisha and Otkazat'sya were lounging in the autumn sun, enjoying a peaceful afternoon.

Genya told you to follow her, leading you up the stairs and into the palace. She ran you over the current operation, how Alina had set out to make friendships with Shu-Han and Nikolai was trying to win the war against Frejda.

"Zoya is in charge of training," Genya said, watching your face change at the mention of your best friend, "She's in a meeting with Nikolai and some of his Generals."

You nodded, "She always did say she would be the leader one day."

Genya couldn't help the smile that crept on her face as she heard your heart rate spike and watched a blush creep up your cheeks as she stared at you.

"Come," Genya insisted, leading you back down the stairs and towards the Palace. There were hardly any guards around the grounds, they used to patrol every inch of the palace grounds, but now they only did on the fences. Genya lead you into the Palace, through the winding halls and towards what you assumed must be the meeting room. You had never actually been in the main palace, it was an honour reserved for The Darkling's favourite Grisha and the servants of the crown.

Genya didn't have to knock on the doors, the two guards opened it for her without a second thought.

The room was occupied by a massive mahogany table, with enough chairs for every General in the Ravkan army. Only two people were sitting at the table, though. Tsar Nikolai and Zoya Nazyalensky.

You and Genya both curtsied, "Moi Tsar."

"Y/N?" Zoya was on her feet quickly, she rushed to you and pulled you into a tight hug. You savoured it, Zoya wasn't really one for hugs.

She pulled away and held you at arm's length, "You cut your hair."

You laughed, flicking her hair, "So did you. I like it." Zoya tried to hide the blush on her cheeks from Genya, you were blissfully unaware.

Nikolai stood from his seat at the head of the table, "Y/N L/N?" He walked over to the three of you, "I've heard a lot about you."

You looked between Zoya and the King, "Good things, I hope?"

Zoya rolled her eyes at your pointed stare. Nikolai looked between the two of you, and then to Genya to confirm what he was thinking. Genya was just smiling at the two of you being hopeless.

"Only good things," Nikolai answered, nudging Zoya playfully. In the last few weeks the two had become good friends, now Nikolai could see how smitten the squaller was.

You settled in quickly, the little palace always was and always could be your home. You quickly slipped into a routine, helping fellow Grisha with their training and even teaching Otkazat'sya how the small science worked. Zoya had valued your advice greatly, often letting you consult on decisions about your own powers.

Today, you both had cleared the afternoon to spend time together, having a picnic by the lake like you did when you were children.

Genya had been teasing Zoya about it for days, giggling at how the girl grew red in the face at the mention of you and her. Zoya had been dropping hints for a while, even before you parted ways before the Civil war. There was always something more between you.

You were laying on the grass in the sun, listening to Zoya rattle off what had happened during her morning.

You hummed once she finished, "Sounds..."

You searched for the right word. 'Exciting."

"Tiring," Zoya offered at the same time.

You laughed, turning your head to look at her. The sun cast her in a glow, framing her like a saint. To you, she might as well have been. You were always amazed by Zoya, her power, her mind... her beauty.

Zoya looked down at you, thinking similar things. Your hair was splayed underneath you, framing you in a kind of halo. You could have been her sun in your golden Kefta - which Zoya was convinced was your colour. Glowing up at her with a smile that warmed every part of her.

"Saints," Zoya mumbled, realizing how head over heels she was.

You blinked up at her, "What?"

Zoya felt her ears burning, she was not the fumbling blushing lover. She knew what she wanted and went for it.

You reached out for her hand, clasping it tightly, 'Somethings off with you."

Zoya scoffed, "You're imagining things."

You laughed, sitting up and moving a little closer.

"I think I'm seeing things very clearly."

"Oh? And what is it you see, Koshka?"

You giggled at the old nickname, one she had given you when you were both 12.

"You are as quiet as a cat, Y/N."

It gave you the same warm feeling now as it did then.

"I see a lot," You said defensively, watching Zoya quirk an eyebrow at you.

"I see the way Genya nudges you," You said, watching Zoya's face, "I see the way your ears get red when I compliment you and your brilliant mind."

"They do not," Zoya argued.

"They are right now!" You laughed, grabbing her face in your hands and tucking her hair behind her ears. "I love it when they do."

Zoya rolled her eyes, pretending to look irritated at you.

"I see the way you act all tough and intimidating," You continued, "The toll it takes on you."

It was true, the whole time you had known Zoya she was this way. In some ways, she needed to be. But you missed how gentle she was as a child and her love for Ravka.

"I see how hard you're working for our Grisha."

Zoya melted a little bit at the 'our Grisha'.

"And," You continued, grabbing both her hands again, "I see just how much your work is helping."

Zoya sighed softly, "Slowly."

"Slowly," You agreed, "but surely."

You both fell silent, you watched her face as she gazed over the lake.

"I think I needed to hear that," She said quietly.

"Can't be having our fearless leader forget how fantastic she is."

Zoya turned to you suddenly, eyes flickering between your eyes and lips. With a sudden surge of confidence, she reached out, cupping your cheek in one hand and pressing her lips to yours. You kissed back almost immediately, your heart exploding in your chest. Your best friend, your Zoya, was finally kissing you.

When you both broke away, Zoya's face lit up in a grin.

You hummed a soft response, trying to show how you felt the same way. That made her smile even bigger. Her hand was still sitting gently on your cheek. You leaned into her hand, relishing the moment. You gently took her hand and pressed a kiss to her palm.

"Saints," You sounded breathy and Zoya leant in a little more, pressing her forehead to yours, "I love you."

#zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyalensky x reader #zoya nazyalensky fanfiction #zoya supremacy #zoya x reader #zoya the dragon queen of ravka #shadow and bone s2 #shadow and bone s2 x reader #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone s2 spoilers #shadow and bone netflix #sab #sab s2 spoilers #nikolai lantsov #genya safin #grisha reader #grishaverse

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unrequitedloveletter · 1 year

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Hello Can you do a Poly one with Nikolai & Zoya fic it can be fluff with prompt 6 ? Where the reader has a crush on them

Recipe Box- poly! zoyalai x gn! reader

okay, hi! First ever poly fic of any kind. I've debated writing poly fics before but I've never actually done it so this was next level nervewracking for me and I hope it's decent.

I'm sorry it took me so long to see the requests you've sent in, things get buried in my inbox really quick and this request was no exception for a bit, but dear nonnie, I hope you like this in spite of how long it took me to get this out!

The prompt you requested was fluff prompt six: “Character A wanted me to give this to you,” Character B said.

Fic type- fluff with so much yearning

Warnings- none

You found yourself laughing at Tamar and Tolyas bickering as the three of you moved through the hallways of the Grand Palace, a discussion picking up and dropping in brief moments as the end of the day drew nearer.

The time after the war was tough, the adjustments necessary difficult ones to make and the grief for those you’d lost immense and painful. Nikolai plunged into his kingly duties after he was crowned, Zoya took up the creation and the maintenance of her garden, you took to baking and the twins to sparing to sharpen their already sharp skills.

Tolya and Tamar became members of Nikolais guard, working for him as they’d once worked for Alina and her sun cult. You almost took up a position alongside them, one offered to you by Nikolai after the war, but you refused. Despite it, finding the twins was always easy, striking a conversation with them easier even still.

You’d taken up working in the kitchens, making the menus for the week and putting effort into baking during your off time so that Genya and Zoya could always have the sweet pastries they liked at the drop of a hat and, selfishly, because baking had always been therapeutic for you.

Baking brought you plenty more joy than being on the sea did, but in the days of the war, being on a ship crew meant easy money, and easy money was good enough for you back then, while you worked on the Volkvolny with Nikolai as the captain.

You met Zoya in those times, too, so you wouldn’t’ve counted the war as an entirely dreadful time. You’d fallen for Nikolai when you worked on the ship alongside him, fallen for Zoya as you fought at her side against the Darkling. You had crushes on them for two years, and at that rate, it never seemed like the feelings you held would quite escape you.

So, as you approached the war room with Tamar and Tolya, you were relaxed. It'd been your day off but you'd baked throughout it even still, and you'd dropped a basket of sweet pastries at Genya and Davids door in the hour before you found yourself where you were, with Tamar and Tolya at your sides as you walked them to the war room before you would either head to your room or to the palace library, where you grab a book and spend the next few nights reading.

Nikolai caught sight of you and grinned as you entered the room.

Tamar elbowed you lightly, shooting you a grin as your gaze met one of the people you’d been in love with for what sometimes felt like a thousand days.

“Every time,” she whispered. “Him and Zoya. Every bloody time, and still—fools. The lot of you.”

“Hey,” Nikolai greeted Tolya as you made a point of ignoring Tamars words simply for the fact that you didn’t believe them. “Alls well on the grounds?”

“No threats waiting to jump out and kill you,” Tamar said pointedly. “Grounds sweep was successful.”

Nikolai looked at you again, and seemed to remember something. You watched him pause for a moment before turning, picking up a small box and walking it over to you.

“Zoya wanted me to give this to you,” Nikolai said. “You bake in the kitchens a lot. Said it was recipe boxes with stuff you’d talked about.”

You grinned as you took the box, grin widening as you met his gaze. “Thank you,” you said, turning on your heel. “For delivering it, I suppose. I need to find her, give her my thanks.”

Nikolai nodded. “Yeah,” he said. “Tamar, Tolya and I have much to discuss. I don’t know if I’ll see you again tonight, so goodnight, Y/N.”

You grinned. “Goodnight, Nikolai,”

And with that, you left, heart thrumming as you walked down the halls of the Grand Palace, a huge part of you hoping to see Zoya before you retired to your room for the night.

You ended up not seeing her, but you made a mental note to thank her for the very sweet gift when you would see her the following day, at the end of your shift in the kitchens and likely as she sat by a samovar of tea, either chatting with Genya and David or finding something to bicker about with Tolya or Nikolai.

It was something to which you looked forward immensely.

#nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #nikolai lantsov x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #poly! zoyalai x reader #shadow and bone #shadow and bone netflix

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infin1ty-garden · 7 months

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MASTERLIST.

Hello everyone! My requests are OPEN

request guidelines here!

❝ [ prompts & scenarios ] ❞ & ❝ [ fic recs ] ❞

╰┈➤ ❝ [ formula 1 ] ❞

『 headcanons 』

LOVE ALARM ೃ⁀➷ what if the love alarm existed in real life feat. f1 drivers STILL ALIVE - scream/ghostface au! ೃ⁀➷ headcanons of the f1 drivers as the scream killer, ghostface

『 logan sargeant 』

I NEED YOU - the last of us au! ೃ⁀➷ in which you and Logan spend your last night in Jackson

『 esteban ocon 』

IF YOU NEED A HERO - spider-man au! ೃ⁀➷ headcanons of what it's like to meet spider-man! esteban ocon

『 lance stroll 』

ACROSS THE STARS - star wars au! ೃ⁀➷ headcanons of dating a inquisitor! lance stroll

『 lando norris 』

HOT BLOODED - figure skating au! ೃ⁀➷ after a falling out you and lando have to perform a routine together and old feelings start to come back

『 liam lawson 』

FULL THROTTLE - street racer au! ೃ⁀➷ liam thinks you deserve better

╰┈➤ ❝ [ shadow & bone ] ❞

『 headcanons 』

VALENTINE'S DAY ೃ⁀➷ headcanons of the shadow & bone characters on valentine's day

『 nikolai lanstov 』

GUARDIAN ANGEL - siren! reader ೃ⁀➷ hearing rumors of the fountain of youth, and finally finding a heading, nikolai decides to follow the rumors

『 zoya nazyalensky 』

NOW OR NEVER ೃ⁀➷ after a mission you and zoya are forced to share a tent together

『 alina starkov 』

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT - the mummy (1999) au! ೃ⁀➷ alina confesses her feelings while imhotep wants to sacrifice her

╰┈➤ ❝ [ scream ] ❞

『 headcanons 』

THE GHOSTFACES REACT TO YOU BEING A F1 FAN ೃ⁀➷ exactly what the title says

『 jill roberts 』

UNDER THE BLEACHERS ೃ⁀➷ jill’s childhood friend confess their love for her DYNAMITE TOUCH ೃ⁀➷ jill sprained ankle and you help her home THAT'S RICH ೃ⁀➷ you keep teasing jill about her height and she does something about it UNTIL THE END ೃ⁀➷ you move back to woodsboro during the events of scream 4

╰┈➤ ❝ [ heroes of olympus ] ❞

『 jason grace 』

YOU ARE MY HERO - superman au! ೃ⁀➷ headcanons of dating superman! jason grace

╰┈➤ ❝ [ slytherin boys ] ❞

『 headcanons 』

MEMORIES MAKE EVERYTHING SO DIFFICULT ೃ⁀➷ where you fake amnesia to get out of a fight with your enemy and he lies and tells you'd been dating for a year

╰┈➤ ❝ [ the quarry ] ❞

『 max brinly 』

I WOULD DIE FOR HER ೃ⁀➷ max does everything to save you the last night of summer camp

╰┈➤ ❝ [ one shots ] ❞

『 kara zor-el 』

NOT ON EARTH ೃ⁀➷ you and kara decided to stay in for the night

『 dar-benn 』

I LOVED YOU FOREVER ೃ⁀➷ dar-benn tries to save you

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sophierequests · 1 year

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holiday event masterlist

Navigation

“Had she really thought the world didn't change? She was a fool. The world was made of miracles, unexpected earthquakes, storms that came from nowhere and might reshape a continent.”

I know it's like *checks watch* three days after Christmas, but I still wanted to do a little something in honour of the holidays. Especially since all my prior fics haven't been even close to festive at all. These are all just drabbles, so none of these are similar to my usual fics. I just wanted to write a little something for everyone.

I hope you can forgive me for my utterly atrocious timing, and still enjoy this collection of festive drabbles. I love and appreciate all of you so much, loves <333

six of crows

hot chocolate with kaz brekker

under the mistletoe with jesper fahey

festive braids with inej ghafa

christmas baking with nina zenik

first snowfall with matthias helvar

family tradition with wylan van eck

shadow and bone

first christmas with alina starkov

gratefulness with malyen oretsev

necklace with the darkling

cold feet with nikolai lantsov

gift-giving with zoya nazyalensky

tree decorating with genya safin

the ring with david kostyk

snowball fight with tolya yul-bataar

ice skating with tamar kir-bataar

ugly sweaters with harshaw

#merry christmas #happy holidays #kaz brekker x reader #jesper fahey x reader #inej ghafa x reader #nina zenik x reader #matthias helvar x reader #wylan van eck x reader #alina starkov x reader #malyen oretsev x reader #the darkling x reader #nikolai lanstov x reader #zoya nazyalensky x reader #genya safin x reader #david kostyk x reader #tolya yul bataar x reader #tamar kir bataar x reader #harshaw x reader

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heliads · 10 months

Note

hey :)

i really like your blog and i was wondering if you could do a zoya x fem!reader where like zoya saves reader from a mission gone wrong when they were younger and ever since then y/n is zoya's biggest fan, she's always complimenting zoya and blushing in her presence and giving her little gifts made by hand... zoya finds all of this incredible irritating and she's always ignoing her presence in a very zoya nazyalensky way, untill one day she finds y/n crying and bleeding and feels like she could quite literally murder half the little palace, with the iconic "who did this to you" and a veeeeery protective and touchy (like, making sure reader is always close enough) zoya, please <3333

who wouldn't be zoya's biggest fan tbh

masterlist

Zoya Nazyalensky is not alone.

She’s known it for a while, actually. Her mornings start mostly the same way, anyway, so at this point, she’s got nothing to worry about. Besides, her idea of personal space in the Little Palace was mostly just an illusion. No matter where she goes, Zoya will never be fully unattended.

It used to bother her. Still does, actually. Zoya is not a girl nor a god, just a soldier. She’d like the others to recognize that, but until then, too many people will still follow her around to figure out what to do next. Sometimes they’re looking for tips on how to master their grasp of the Small Science. Other times, they’re clamoring for an amplifier or some other way of achieving great power.

Right now, though, Zoya’s little stalker isn’t after any sort of violence or conquest. Zoya allows the sensation of eyes on her back to trouble her for a few minutes longer, then sighs, pushes in her chair, and poses a question to the bookcase right behind her.

“Is there something you need, or are you just going to stand there all morning?”

There’s a brief silence, just long enough for Zoya to wonder if she was wrong and she’s well and truly lost it after all this time. Then, the bookcase starts giggling back at her.

“Sorry, sorry! I got distracted. Coming out now.”

There’s a rustling sound, and then a girl appears out of the shadows of the library. She’s beaming at Zoya like she’s all of the Saints trapped in one physical form, and Zoya fights the urge to groan.

“I got you something,” the girl announces, and holds out something for Zoya’s inspection.

Zoya peers at the green stem, the mass of bright petals, and belatedly realizes what it is. A wilting wildflower, probably freshly caught this morning. Saints, and she was just starting to think that maybe this little ordeal could end.

Zoya stares at the girl; the girl stares back at Zoya. Tired eyes meet wide ones. Zoya waits, and when it’s made abundantly clear that the girl won’t be going anywhere unless Zoya accepts her offering, she bites back a scream of irritation and plucks the flower from the girl’s hand.

“Thank you,” she manages.

The girl’s smile broadens, if that was even possible at all. “Of course!” She chirps, and disappears back into the shelves once more.

Not willing to take the risk that the girl could still be watching her from some crack or crevice of the shelves again, Zoya grabs her things and puts them in a small bag, heading out of the dark library and into the bright sunshine. She’s about to shove the accursed flower into the bottom of her bag, where the petals can rip and tear to their heart’s content, when someone interrupts her. Not an admirer, this time. A friend, and one Zoya is glad to see.

“If you’re not going to appreciate that wildflower, can I have it?”

Zoya glances over at the approaching Genya Safin, one eyebrow raised in disdain. “You want this?”

Genya laughs. “Some of us would be happy to receive flowers, you know. You’re treating that thing like it has a death wish.”

“I think it does,” Zoya harrumphs, “or its giver does, at least.”

Genya presses her fingers to her lips, trying to hide another laugh. “Can I guess that you’ve been visited by Y/N L/N again?”

“Who else?” Zoya groans.

Who else indeed. Genya knows what Zoya knows, what the rest of them at the Little Palace know, for that matter: Y/N L/N is absolutely obsessed with Zoya. It’s not Zoya’s fault, not really. It started a long time ago, back before Zoya knew better.

Zoya had been minding her own business on a scheduled trip outside the walls of Os Alta when she’d stumbled upon a girl getting attacked by a band of thieves. Zoya could sense strange currents in the air, and realized that the girl was Grisha, which was likely why she was set upon by thugs. Zoya had quickly handled the situation, sending the thieves rocketing through the air to connect with a brick wall with enough force to knock them unconscious.

When she’d checked to see if the girl was relatively unharmed, though, Zoya had been confused to notice the beaming smile on her face. For someone who’d suffered a few blows, the girl was way too thrilled to care about her injuries in the slightest. The only thing on the girl’s mind was Zoya, her rescuer.

Zoya had brushed the whole matter aside. Things like this happen all the time; Grisha who’ve had to hide their gifts to blend in at home often fixate on the first powerful Grisha they see. It certainly didn’t hurt that Zoya had saved the girl’s life. Most likely, the whole thing would blow over once the girl stayed at the Little Palace a little longer, got some more experience under her belt, and learned to fear Zoya just like all the other Grisha.

The girl Zoya had saved was Y/N, though, and that moment of peace Zoya anticipated never came. Instead, Y/N started following Zoya around, pestering her with insignificant questions and presenting her with random gifts like the wildflower from this morning. Zoya couldn’t practice her gifts without Y/N falling over herself to compliment something asinine like Zoya’s precision or form.

It was ridiculous, that much was certain. Zoya’s certain that the other Grisha talk about it behind her back, how Zoya’s managed to get a cult following of one by pure accident. Zoya would like it to stop, but no matter how many times she’s tried to avoid Y/N or discourage her from spending so much time around Zoya, nothing has ever worked. Y/N’s idolatry remains just as strong as ever.

Genya has heard a great deal of Zoya’s griping on the matter, which is why she’s able to grin as she twirls the wildflower between her fingers. “You know, you’re going to have to accept this at some point. Y/N’s not going away any time soon. You might as well just learn to live with the attention.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it,” Zoya says, chin jutted up, and she most certainly does have something to say about it.

Genya just smiles to herself, as if she knows something Zoya doesn’t. As if she could understand a fraction of Zoya’s indignation on the matter. No one does, that’s why Y/N hasn’t yet learned to just stay away. It’s insufferable, but, much like Genya has threatened, it is starting to seem like something Zoya must adapt to instead of forcing aside.

It does seem like an immovable fact of Zoya’s life. Y/N shows up most mornings with a saccharine word or petty offering, disappearing as quickly as she appears. No matter what, she’s always there.

Until, one morning, she isn’t. Zoya notices the girl’s absence immediately. She didn’t think she would, but– well, maybe it’s just because she’s so glad to be alone at last. Yes, that must be it. That, and no other reason.

Zoya goes about her business as per usual, but Y/N still fails to show. Not only that, but Zoya’s starting to attract stares. People are whispering on the edges of Zoya’s consciousness, just loud enough that she can’t help but notice.

Zoya runs into Genya again, and she can’t help but ask what all the fuss is about. Genya looks at her, surprised, and says that she would have thought Zoya would have heard about it. You know, the morning’s incident.

Y/N’s face pops into Zoya’s face unbidden, but she manages to tamp down the memory before it can cause her too much trouble. “What do you mean, the morning’s incident? What happened?”

Genya shrugs liberally. “Just some nonsense in some of the Grisha quarters. One of those roving gangs of mean girls– you know the ones, we all do– they decided to pull a prank on one of the other Grisha. It was something stupid like collapsing her bed while she was sleeping or something so she’d wake up in the middle of the night. Only problem was, the girl was annoyed, obviously, and the girls said they felt threatened and they attacked her.”

“Saints,” Zoya said, “what kind of nonsense is that? They should all know better than to pull a stunt like that. I can’t believe no one told me until now.”

Genya offers up a wry grin. “Probably because they were afraid you’d punish the lot of them. As you should, by the way. I am surprised you didn’t get word of it, though. It involved your little follower.”

Zoya stops walking abruptly, feeling her blood course like ice through her veins. “Was Y/N hurt?” Then, “Who were her attackers, exactly?”

The wrath of Zoya Nazyalensky is something that not even the bravest amongst the Grisha would trigger upon fear of death. The look in her eyes is something murderous indeed, and as Zoya draws near her targets, Grisha are quite literally leaping out of the way so as to not attract her indignation for even a moment.

Zoya’s work is also precise. She does what she wants when she wants. And, when she wants to cause pain, she can do that with great capability. The girls who hurt Y/N– well, they won’t be trying anything like that ever again, and not just because they’ll be under the care of the Little Palace Healers for at least a week.

It feels good. Shouldn’t, because Zoya is far more skilled than them and it barely took any of her energy to beat them, but it does. Something loud in her chest is roaring its approval. With that taken care of, Zoya turns to the next task on her list: namely, making sure that Y/N L/N is alright after all.

Zoya finds her easily enough. The girl has a few favorite spots on the grounds of the Little Palace, one of them in the shade of an apple tree farther away from the main buildings. Zoya finds Y/N there, but judging by the unsurprised look on the girl’s face when Zoya stops in front of her, she was expected.

Zoya eyes her gingerly. “Are you hurt?”

“Not too badly,” Y/N says. “Mainly just my pride.”

Zoya smirks. “Trust me, they’re far worse off. In body and in pride.”

A pause. The wind whistles through the branches of the tree above, and it’s funny, Y/N’s never had a problem in coming up with random things to say, but they’re absolutely silent now.

Then: “Why would you do that?” Y/N asks softly. So softly that Zoya almost doesn’t hear, except she does. She hears everything.

Zoya blinks in surprise. “What do you mean?”

Y/N’s laugh is jaded. It actually hurts Zoya to hear it; the thought that Y/N, sunny, cheerful Y/N, could harbor that much pain in her is unnatural. “I’m not blind, Zoya. I know you don’t like me. I know I vex you and whatnot, I know I’m overwhelming in my hero worship or whatever. I see that when you look at me. I pretend otherwise, but– I know. No one expected you to save me, not again.”

Zoya feels as if she has been struck by a clap of lightning. Thunder booms in her temples, drowning out any sort of reasonable thought. “You thought I hated you?”

Y/N gives her a very watery glare. “You were never happier than when I was out of your sight. The impression was solid.”

Zoya runs a hand through her already unruly hair. “I didn’t– I mean, I did, but– Saints, Y/N, I don’t anymore.”

As she says it, she realizes it’s true. Zoya does not hate Y/N L/N in the slightest. In fact, the very moment that she found out Y/N had been hurt, her entire system shut down with the only goal to get revenge. It’s like protecting Y/N is supposed to come first before everything. It’s like how it was when Zoya saved Y/N’s life the first time around.

When she looks back at Y/N, she realizes Y/N is smiling. A real smile, too, not like the polite one she’d forced when Zoya told her that she’d handled the other girls. “And how long did it take you to admit that?”

“Not that long,” Zoya says, feeling the odd urge to blush. It’s an odd emotion for her to feel, and she swears that Y/N picks up on it, because her smile broadens even more.

“Alright, then,” Y/N says, “Are you going to help me up? I’m sure I’m still injured.”

Zoya manages a smile, extending a hand which Y/N takes. For a moment after she stands, Y/N remains there still, fingers interlocked with Zoya’s, smiling with that same warmth in her eyes. Zoya doesn’t want the moment to end; it does anyway, time has never been her friend nor that of anyone else, but it’s better afterwards somehow. It belongs to her, these memories, everything she does from here on out, and Zoya has an idea that she’d like to change quite a few things indeed. Perhaps she’ll start with never letting go.

grishaverse tag list: @rogueanschel, @deadreaderssociety, @cameronsails, @mxltifxnd0m, @story-scribbler, @retvenkos, @mayfieldss, @amortensie-moved, @gods-fools-heroes, @bl606dy, @auggie2000, @baju69, @crazyhearttragedy

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zepp-l1n · 1 year

Text

Stay

Pairing: Zoya Nazyalensky x (Inferni) Fem!reader

summary: (Y/N) finds herself jealous of Zoya's attention on Nikolai. fic type - angst, miscommunication??, hurt/comfort warning - none, other than an unneeded anger towards Nikolai :) word count - 1,996 a/n: I have nothing against Nikolai (he's one of my favorite characters actually), I just felt like making some drama....

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(Y/N) wasn't one to hold a grudge, especially not against a royal. Nikolai Lantsov, however, was a different case. She couldn't stand the sight of him - his charming attitude, handsome looks, and those puppy eyes. Every ounce of his being made her blood boil, made her want to burn him to ash, and for one simple reason. He was taking Zoya away from her.

Zoya Nazyalensky had been the sole owner of (Y/N) attention from the moment she stepped foot in the Little Palace. Not only was she absolutely stunning, but she held herself with such a strong demeaner. Most were intimidated by her, but (Y/N) only found herself falling for Zoya more and more each time she put that demeaner on display.

Unfortunately for (Y/N), Nikolai seemed to have the same thoughts about Zoya. From the moment the two girls and Genya met the young king, he had taken a liking to the squaller. Any chance he had away from Alina, he found his way to her. The worst part was, Zoya never seemed to object to his flirtations. Every joke, comment, or advance he made was giggled at in response, and (Y/N) had to sit back and watch.

It wasn't like she could do anything. Zoya wasn't hers. She had no right to be jealous if she had never made a move. Some days it became to much, causing the inferni to abruptly stand up, and take her leave. Others she sat in self-loathing, wondering if she could've ever been the one making Zoya's face flush.

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This brought (Y/N) to her current moment, sitting in front of the king and squaller, once again attempting to hide her discomfort. The three were sat in one of the Grand Palace's many drawing rooms, along with Alina, Genya, Tolya, and Mal.

(Y/N) was sat across from the two, next to Tolya. He had his arm placed around the back of the chair they were sharing, and was trying to keep her mind off Zoya. Tolya was her closest friend, and was the only one other than herself that knew of her feelings for Zoya. "So, I was thinking, maybe you and I could have some sparring time soon. I've been meaning to ask considering we haven't had much time to fight since Sobachka put me on bodyguard duty." Tolya joked.

(Y/N) gaze drifted from the half-suli girl to her friend. A small smile grew on her face, but it didn't reach her eyes like it usually did. "I think so, although I don't know if Moi Tsar would let you go long enough." she chuckled back.

The two grisha smirked at each other enjoying being able to poke fun at the king, although they both had different reasons behind it.

As nice as talking to Tolya was, he couldn't distract her for long - especially when Zoya's soft laugh rang through the room. In any other case (Y/N) would've swooned at the sound, but seeing that Nikolai had been the one to cause it made her stomach twist into knots. The sight in front of her made the knots tighten and her her heart painfully throb against her ribcage.

Nikolai and Zoya had moved closer to one another, gazes full of admiration. The inferni had never seen Zoya so content. So happy. (Y/N) couldn't deny the good life Zoya could have with the king. She would be respected, loved, feared. She would have as much power she could ever want. Everything that (Y/N) could never give her.

All of it was too much for (Y/N) to handle. She hurriedly stood up, excusing herself. As she exited the room, she missed the worried looks her friends cast her, and the sullen look that overtook Zoya's face.

Alina glanced over at Tolya, giving him a confused look. He simply shrugged and sighed. "I'm sure she's fine. Just give her a little while."

Everyone in the room listened to Tolya, shrugging of the unusual scene - except for Zoya. She waited a few moments so no one would be too suspicious, before excusing herself to follow after her friend.

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(Y/N) walked around the Grand Palace's gardens, taking in the scenery. In her hands were small flames. Using her power helped (Y/N) let off steam in these types of situations. The flickering fire that split across her fingers soothed the tight feeling in her chest. Her small science had almost somewhat of a safety blanket over the years.

The inferni brought her hand closer to her face, watching as the flames danced in the wind. Her small time of silence was suddenly interrupted by the one person who was causing all of this. Zoya.

The squaller moved towards (Y/N), taking the spot beside her. They stood in silence for a while, just staring out into the gardens. Finally Zoya spoke up, "Are you okay? You left the room pretty quickly. We all got pretty worried, and I think you can understand why."

"I'm fine, just got a little.....overwhelmed." (Y/N) softly muttered. She clasped her hands together, putting out the flames.

Zoya didn't seem to believe (Y/N)'s answer, but let it slide. The two stood in an awkward silence once again.

"So," (Y/N) started, "you and Nikolai, huh?"

Zoya's face morphed into a look of confusion, but she quickly hid it. "Nikolai? I mean he's sweet, and a king. That's certainly a plus."

The inferni let out a forced chuckle. "Yeah, it's a pretty good plus." She looked over at Zoya, a cheerful façade on her face hiding her melancholy feelings. "I think I may go back in. Maybe hang out with Tolya some more."

"Oh? Would you like me to come wi-" Zoya was softly cut off by her friend.

"No thank you. I'm sure Nikolai would like to be in your presence once again, and you shouldn't leave the king waiting." after finishing her sentence, she swiftly turned back towards the Grand Palace. "Have a nice evening, Zoya." and with that, she left.

Once again, Zoya watched as (Y/N) left, feeling worried and hurt.

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"Saints! You can't walk away from her every time things get weird." Tolya grunted out.

"What did you expect me to do, Tolya? She likes him. The best thing for me to do is walk away." (Y/N) bitterly snapped back.

"You can't give up now." Tamar spoke up. The three grishas were hiding out in Tamar and Nadia's room, per (Y/N)'s request.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" the inferni asked.

The two Shu siblings glanced at each other before Tamar answered. "You've said it yourself, you really like her. And as much as I care for Sobachka, you can't give her up to him yet."

(Y/N)'s face contorted into one of sadness. "You didn't see her, though. She looked so happy when I asked about him." Tolya stepped forward, wrapping his arms around his friend. Tamar moved in a similar way, but only laid a hand on her back. "He can make her happy. She deserves that after Kirigan."

"You can make her happy!" Tolya persisted.

"Not like him." It seemed like nothing could change (Y/N)'s mind, so the siblings decided to leave it alone, and just comfort her. Tamar's heart broke seeing her friend like this, and she wanted nothing more than to tell her how Zoya's heartrate spike whenever she was around, but she knew it wasn't her place. It had to be Zoya or (Y/N) to make the relationship happen.

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Things got even worse for the inferni when Nikolai gave Zoya the job of general for his army. This caused the two to spend far more time together, only dropping (Y/N)'s spirits more.

It hurt her enough that she had started to avoid both her king and her friend. She couldn't be in the same room as them without wanting to light everything around her on fire. Over time she had spoken to Tamar and Tolya more about it, but none of the venting helped calm the emotional storm building in her body.

After dealing with the pain for long enough, she had come to the decision to give Zoya up, and request to be transferred. In all honesty, (Y/N) didn't need to ask considering she wasn't legally in the 2nd army anymore, but she still needed permission to leave the safety of the Grand Palace since she was such a large figure in the Darkling's war against Ravka.

"Are you sure this is what you want?" Nikolai asked.

"Yes, Moi Tsar. I'd like to go to the army camp outside of Fjerda." (Y/N)'s voice was monotoned, not wanting any of her anger towards the king to be visible.

"Alright. I'll send the request to their captain, then." he declared. The inferni nodded. "I do hope you'll visit. I think we'll all miss you (Y/N)."

She gave Nikolai a tight smile and took her leave. This would be the hard part - saying her goodbyes.

She went to Alina and Mal first, then Genya. After was Tolya and Tamar, which were the most emotional, a few other grishas, and finally Zoya.

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"You're leaving?" Zoya's voice came from behind her. The two were back in the gardens.

(Y/N) turned around, glancing at her. "I've put in the request - said my goodbyes too."

Zoya's eyes slightly misted over. So turned her head, glancing down at the soft grass. "You haven't said goodbye to me." she whispered. The inferni didn't respond, only turned away from her. "You weren't planning on it were you? Saying goodbye, I mean."

"I couldn't." (Y/N)'s voice cracked as she spoke.

"When do you leave?" Zoya's voice was thick with emotion.

"Nikolai said sometime within the week. The captain was happy to have another heat source in the cold, Fjerdan weather. He wants me up there as soon as possible." (Y/N) tried to joke, but the two girls were two upset to laugh.

Zoya went quiet for a while, not knowing what to say. Her heart was racing at he thought of (Y/N) going away. The thought that she wouldn't see her anytime soon, or possibly ever again. "Don't go."

"What?"

Zoya hesitantly made her way over to (Y/N), "Stay here. Revoke the transfer - stay with me."

The inferni took a step back. "I don't understand?"

"I want you to stay." Zoya looked up, giving (Y/N) a clear look at her glossy eyes. She once again moved towards (Y/N). "I want you."

(Y/N) didn't know what to say. After all this time she finally heard the words she had always longed for, yet she didn't believe them. How could she when Zoya and Nikolai were always together. "And what of Nikolai?"

"Nikolai? What about him? This is us I'm talking about, not Nik." Zoya confusedly spoke.

"Zoya, don't play dumb. I've seen you two. He likes you, and he has so much to offer. For saints sake, he could make you queen!" (Y/N) exclaimed.

The mist in Zoya's eyes started to streak down her cheeks. "I don't want what he can offer me. I don't want to be queen."

"You could finally have everything you've ever wanted, Zoya. I can't give you any of that."

Zoya outstretched her arms, placing both palms on the sides of the girl's face. Her hands became damp with the smeared tears under the inferni's eyes. "All I've ever wanted was this - you. Nikolai can't give me that. You can." She leaned her head forward, pressing their foreheads together. Both grishas basked in the closeness they had longed for.

"You really mean it?" (Y/N) gently mumbled.

"Every word." Zoya grinned, delicately removing her forehead from (Y/N)'s. She leaned closer, faintly placing her lips on the girl's.

Every once of anger or distaste (Y/N) had held for the king melted away in that moment. She now knew they Zoya was hers - willingly and happily hers. (Y/N) parted their mouths and tenderly smiled at the squaller. "I'll stay."

#shadow and bone x reader #reader insert #grishaverse #zoya nazyanelsky #zoya x reader #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone #zoya nazyalensky x reader #wlw #nikolai lantsov #tolya yul bataar

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steponmeinejghafa · 6 months

Text

Touch Starved

Summary: Zoya admits she's extremely touch-starved.

Zoya Nazyalesky x Fem!Reader

Warnings: Some mentions of stress and some crying because of it-

---

Whenever Zoya looked at you, she felt her heart physically beat faster. Her body tingled and she desperately wanted your touch to grace her skin.

Obviously she would rather die than admit to being touch-starved.

Naturally, when she saw you combing out your hair in the morning after a particularly interesting night, she got the sudden urge to brush it for you.

And that is exactly what she did.

"Well, good morning," you chuckled as she grabbed the hairbrush from you and began brushing your hair out.

"Good morning, my darling," she smiled, basking in the feeling of your soft hair between her fingers. Her heart leapt when you leaned into her touch, and blushed a vibrant red when you took her free hand to kiss the palm of it.

You noticed her whole body shiver, and immediately knew what it was which had her reacting to your touch that way.

"Touch-starved, are we, darling?" You smirked, standing up and putting the brush away.

Shit, she thought. Was it so obvious?

"N-no-" She stammered, stalking off to the bathroom. Deciding to tease her, you leaned against the doorway and watched her pull her clothes off, still blushing.

"Is the cold, distant, frightening General Nazyalensky...touch-starved?" You giggled, soundlessly coming up behind her and running your fingertips down her bare back.

She shuddered and blushed even harder, to the point where even the tips of her ears turned pink. "Stop bullying me," she gently swatted your hands away, albeit reluctantly.

You put your hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright, no need to get violent, my dear."

She threw a towel at you and mumbled, "Get out and stop teasing me."

"Okay," you giggled and left her to her own devices.

Later, you were walking down the hallway, books in hand, as you headed towards the library, when you felt someone gently loop their arm through yours. A smile spread over your face as you looked at Zoya, who walked forward with just as much confidence as she did when she wasn’t with you.

“Give me your satchel,” she said. “I’ll hold it for you. Those books look heavy enough already.”

“Thanks,” you blushed and handed her your brown satchel, inside which you’d put some notebooks you had to complete.

She pressed a quick kiss to your lips and continued walking with you to the library, quietly listening to what you had to say about the assignments you had pending and how much of a bore they were.

“How come you accompanied me to the library?” You asked. “I thought we had different things to do this evening.”

She shrugged and sat at one of the long tables behind you as you began putting away the books you’d issued, and began thumbing through the books you’d placed down on the table. “I just wanted to be with my girl,” she replied.

“Ah,” you smiled and placed another stack of books on the table to go with your first one. You slid into the seat beside her and opened out one book on astronomy and pulled your astronomy notebook. Zoya watched you closely as you picked the pages you wanted, and began to note down the important points from them.

Wordlessly, she put her head down and pulled your non-dominant hand to rest on her head. Realising what she wanted, you laughed softly and began to play with her hair, while you simultaneously wrote with your dominant hand.

Zoya had honestly never felt more fuzzy inside than she did at that moment, sitting in the silence of the library with you, her head resting on her arms while you ran your fingers through her hair, gently scratching her scalp in the places you knew she liked, all while you did your own work, as if this were a perfectly normal occurrence.

She couldn’t help but stare in awe at how the golden light of the setting sun filtered through the long windows and fell on your features so perfectly, highlighting your hair in a soft glow, and accentuating every curve of your face. The silence of the library made this moment even more special, as she saw all the reasons why she loved you so much all in just one moment of golden light and gentle touch.

“You can sit closer to me, if you want,” you said, looking at her with the same love in your eyes as you did when she’d first said ‘I love you’ to you.

She smiled and shifted closer so that her leg was touching yours, and she very hesitantly moved your hand from her hair and held it in her own, her head still resting on her crossed arms. She brushed a kiss across your knuckles very gently every now and then, giving you the same butterflies you’d been giving her.

While she saw you working, she additionally realised that she had been feeling stressed lately, and had been meaning to tell you about it. She knew you’d understand, and trusted you enough with her emotions to feel comfortable enough to share them.

“Y/n?” She whispered, catching your attention. You immediately put your pen down and looked at her, putting your other hand to her cheek, stroking the skin of it with your thumb.

“Yes, my love?” You asked. Seeing her troubled expression, your eyebrows knitted together with concern. “What’s wrong?”

“Um…” she hesitated again. Did she want to ruin this perfectly blissful moment with her struggles? Did she truly want to burden you with her problems?

As if you’d read her mind, you gestured for her to sit up, and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, whispering, “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”

She nodded, feeling her heart rate speed up at the soft brush of your lips over her skin, and said, “I’ve been feeling a bit stressed lately, because of training and all the schoolwork I have piling up thanks to my late-night training sessions…”

“Zoya…” your voice was soft as you spoke her name, in a way she’d heard countless times before, yet it never failed to make her fall more in love with you. It was the way you savoured each syllable, the way your tone stayed gentle, that made how you said her name so special to her.

“Come here,” you said. It wasn’t a demand, just a suggestion. A way to beckon her towards you. She sat on your lap, facing you, her eyes searching yours for any hint of what you might say next.

You said nothing. Instead, you pulled her into a hug, a hug you knew she needed. The warmth and sincerity of the gesture was what made her walls break, and she allowed her self to cry just a little, with only a few tears dropping down her cheeks and onto the silk of your kefta.

“I don’t want you to think that you’re someone who needs to do everything otherwise your worth reduces,” you said, reading her mind. “You are no object; whose worth is dependent on the things you do. You are human, you are whole, you’re worth everything good in the world, regardless of whether or not you can balance a hundred and one things every day.”

“I hate how you always know what I’m thinking,” she sniffled, burying her face in your hair. “And how you always know exactly what to say.”

“Darling, I know you inside and out,” you chuckled, pressing your lips to the side of her head. “I’m always here for you.”

She slid off your lap reluctantly and held your non-dominant hand, resting her head on your shoulder, saying, “You should finish your work.”

“Right,” you giggled. “My touch-starved sweetheart,” you added, squeezing her hand.

“First of all, you are so cheesy,” she scoffed. “And second, I am not touch starved.”

“Whatever you say,” you shrugged and continued your work, while she stayed right beside you, always finding a way to feel your embrace against hers.

Maybe she was a little touch-starved…

———

I hope this one was good <3 Feel free to request <33

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